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DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-08 (DUmmies Incapable Of Bargain Shopping For Food)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 13, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/13/2008 7:06:40 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

How many times have you been at the supermarket and seen some outrageously HIGH price for some produce? I see this all the time so am I somehow forced to buy it? Of course not. In fact, it is VERY EASY to bargain shop for produce. Possibly easier than for any other type of product. However, when a DUmmie sees a cantelope selling for an $3.89 each, he helplessly bemoans his fate as you can see in this THREAD with the pitiful title of "Cantelope $3.89 a piece? F*ck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the 'haves' pretty soon!" Yes, DUmmie, you have NO choice. You MUST buy that $3.89 cantelope. You are forbidden to look for cantelops at other stores or buy them roadside or at farmer's markets for a buck or less each. So let us now watch the DUmmies use their utter incompetence at bargain shopping as a segue to condemn our EVIL capitalist system in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who recently bought a whole bunch of HUGE papayas for just a buck each, is in the [brackets]:

Cantelope $3.89 a piece? F*ck, we'll be carrying sacks on a stick and begging at the back doors of the "haves" pretty soon!

[A piece of cantelope sold for $3.89. Imagine how much a whole cantelope must sell for.]

A crappy bagel costs $.69 and a crappier muffin is $1.49 at the supermarket. A 16 oz can of soup is $2.19...for broth and a few pieces of pasta. Brown rice is $1.79 lb and bread and milk are near $4.00. Why are we not taking to the streets with this? I despise this administration. DESPISE them. I hope they pay in hell.

[Bagels? I can get a half dozen for a buck. Soup? I can get cans at 2 for a buck. Milk? I WAIT for a certain farmer's market to sell it at a buck for a half gallon and then stock up on it. But since you are TOO STUPID to bargain shop, suddenly you want to take to the streets to overthrow this EVIL Bush regime.]

Looked at Watermelons, yesterday...........small ones - $6.99 and less small ones (can't call them big, really - $7.99. Last year you could get them for $4.99 and they were huge......insane....

[I guess you're too LAZY to stop where roadside vendors are selling watermelons really cheap. Oh, and have you ever checked out the produce section of flea markets? Only true DUmmies will pay $6.99 for a small watermelon. I'll feel good munching on a nice cold small one dollar watermelon later today knowing you allowed yourself to get ripped off.]

The junk food aisle prices are cheap. Hell, a 16 oz bag of imitation chocolate candy $.89. Twinkies are still cheap enough. Why not buy em by the case?

[Good news! Frozen pizza is still cheap. I bought 4 for 5 dollars a week ago.]

well we know where they are coming from when they keep junk food prices down, they are treating us with such vile and disrespect.

[You have absolutely no nutritional choice since the EVIL Bush regime is forcing you to eat junk food.]

....junk food today is like yesterday's cigarettes....make it cheap, encourage their use and watch the peasants drop like flies (after we work the shit out of 'em for a few decades, of course)....capitalism gives me such a warm feeling inside....

[Capitalism is KILLING you with twinkies and chocolate donuts.]

A single ear of corn $1.00. It's crazy.

[Even crazier is that you paid that price.]

They were $2 for six last week at Publix. People need to learn to shop smart. Stock up on items which are on sale and use coupons.

[SHHHHH!!! Don't let the DUmmies know anything about the concept known as bargain shopping. Please continue to allow them to keep on getting ripped off due to their own stupidity.]

I can't believe these produce prices. I shell out for it, but then, I CAN. I count my blessings and am angry on behalf of those whom it really pinches.

[Enjoy those $3.89 cantelopes and $6.99 small watermelons, DUmmie!]

Thank you for your anger. We feel very alone and isolated.

[And helpless.]

Truth be told, I'm one of these idiotf*cks who thinks Trader Joe's is economical, so clearly I haven't "gotten it" in many years.

[Sigh! If only Florida had Trader Joe's so I could indulge in Two Buck Chuck wine.]

I got hostile in the toilet paper section.......... ...12 roll pack of my usual brand - $8.76. Screw that - it goes down the crapper, ferchrissakes, I'll be damned if I pay that. Family will have to get used to flimsy I guess. Meat aisle should have a loan counter right next to it so I can take out a mortgage to get some damn chops..... Milk - hell, a few bucks more and I could get a dang cow..... eggs - do we have a shortage of laying hens? I hate to go to the grocery store anymore - it seems these days we'll have the same menu rotation week after week - but I guess we're lucky to still be able to eat something.

[Maybe your family will have to get used to using their left hands. BTW, I have a food deal where I get meat, beer, olive oil, and paper products really cheap. (My wife doesn't want me to talk about it in detail.) Right now we have enough toilet paper and paper kitchen towels to last us until around Labor Day.]

We're living on split pea soup, lentil soup, rock soup...whatever. Yeah, the toilet paper thing is sickening. Better off using a pressure cleaner.

[Ben Burch will provide you with his personal Rotor Rooter.]

Ha! Eat pine cones AND use them as toilet paper!

[First use the pine cones as toilet paper and THEN eat them.]

a friend of mine was visiting canada and she said a head of lettuce is $5 there....is that true? who the hell would pay $5 for a head of lettuce?

[Clueless Canadian DUmmies.]

I haven't had canteloupe for years based on the price. Only when they sell them at 2 for $3.00. And this is MacIntosh apple country. Cripes, they are $3.49 lb.

[Obviously a DUmmie who NEVER stops for roadside fruit vendors nor goes to farmer's markets.]

Leeks (bunch of three) -- $5.99 at my local Krogers last week.

[EEK! Be sure not to check the farmer's markets so you can continue to bemoan your deserved fate.]

are the freeptards feeling the same crunch? and what are they saying?

[They are saying that helpless DUmmie stupidity is beyond belief and are laughing at you.]

Adzuki beans are the lowest in fat but high in protein. They're great cooked with buttcup squash.

[Ben Burch loves buttcup squash.]

wolfgang puck soup is almost always on sale for $1-$1.25/can, and it definitely is MUCH better than "some broth and a few pieces of pasta".

[Dented Wolfgang Puck soup cans sell for even less at the flea market.]

When will people finally take to the streets? When cantalopes cost $5? $10? What would it take? Seriously...people should be out in the streets NOW.

[Would you take to the streets if I price mark cantelopes up to $20 each? I would love to watch the comedic entertainment.]

2.67 for store brand soup. Use to be $4 for 2 a few weeks ago. Juice is insane. God damn f*cking eggs. Shopping has become depressing. God damn Bush Inc and the enablers.

[Yes, the EVIL Bush regime is preventing you from bargain shopping.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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To: N. Theknow
"A Buck an ear?"


101 posted on 05/13/2008 9:24:14 AM PDT by Rebelbase (McCain: The Third Bush Term ?)
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To: EagleandLiberty
I go to Whole Foods a few times, but to me Whole Foods is nothing special.

I stop in at Harry's Market, a Whole Foods owned store in suburban Atlanta, now and then just for the free cheese and fruit samples. I figure that since Whole Foods owners are lefty liberals they must be in favor of welfare, and their cheese and fruit samples contribute a lot to my mental and physical welfare.

102 posted on 05/13/2008 9:27:09 AM PDT by epow ("A political career brings out the basest qualities in human nature," Lord Bryce)
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To: xtinct
Going to step in it by suggesting that the DUmmies do what I do... grow cantelopes in their own backyard.

I do... along with tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, asparagus, lettuce, potatoes, blueberries, raspberries, etc.

99% of them are in APARTMENTS

103 posted on 05/13/2008 9:27:16 AM PDT by EagleandLiberty (El Rushbo Tribal name -- RinoHunter Vote Conservatives '08)
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To: PJ-Comix
Thank you for your anger. We feel very alone and isolated.

Somebody needs a hug.:-(

104 posted on 05/13/2008 9:27:54 AM PDT by Paul Heinzman (Out of chaos comes comedy.)
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To: PJ-Comix
We're living on split pea soup, lentil soup, rock soup...whatever. Yeah, the toilet paper thing is sickening.

Why are you buying soup with toilet paper in it?

105 posted on 05/13/2008 9:33:47 AM PDT by Paul Heinzman (Out of chaos comes comedy.)
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To: PJ-Comix

The farmers market in my current neighborhood is a great source for heirloom tomatoes, zucchini and (my fave) white eggplant in season. Cheap too, compared to Wegmans, A&P, etc.


106 posted on 05/13/2008 9:37:08 AM PDT by Clemenza (I Live in New Jersey for the Same Reason People Slow Down to Look at Car Crashes)
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To: epow

I figure that since Whole Foods owners are lefty liberals

Nope, the owners (STOCKHOLDERS) are CONSERVATIVES, too.


107 posted on 05/13/2008 9:38:26 AM PDT by EagleandLiberty (El Rushbo Tribal name -- RinoHunter Vote Conservatives '08)
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To: PJ-Comix

The libtards really are a bunch of clueless dumbasses.


108 posted on 05/13/2008 9:46:13 AM PDT by sauropod (I'd rather be waterboarded than vote for Juan McCain)
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To: Kerretarded

Yep, these are the people who sanctimoniously told us up til now that we needed to pay what food _really_ costs.

This FReeptard has always stockpiled, always bought the markdown meat, froze it, ground it with venison for burger that ends up costing under $1/lb and tastes wonderful. I bake bread and whatever else we need with flour that is about 35 cents/pound. Bagels at Walmart cost $1.08 for 5 and that is up from .88 a few months ago. Butter: 6# for a bit over $7 at Sam’s; freeze til needed. Whole beef cuts at Sam’s, portion it ourselves. Soup from scratch, freeze in pint & quart containers. Citrus on sale, squeeze it ourselves and freeze the juice if it lasts that long. Eggs are coming down as it is Spring. Garden. Dry. Freeze.

TP by the bale, 24 rolls for less than double what the DUmmie is paying for 12 rolls. Using a chamois instead of paper towels and 50 cent flour bag dish towels that last forever.

Cold water clothes washing and put 2 towels in the dryer and set it to half the time. Wood heat we cut ourselves. Ford Focus for 35/mpg. Green bags and the cheap Reynolds vacuum gadget all help perishable food last longer. Reusable plastic *shower cap* type dish covers or sealable plastic for fridge/freezer/microwave. Rinse and reuse plastic bags/green bags. Sew. Knit. Refurbish. Repair. Build.

We pass along surplus to friends and get their surplus in return. I grind venison for others and get firewood in return. Farmer clients always bring eggs or other surplus when it is in season. I have hydroponic lettuce in my kitchen.

So, DUmmies, that is how we FReeptards do it. There is hope for change! Yes, you can!


109 posted on 05/13/2008 9:47:44 AM PDT by reformedliberal (Capitalism is what happens when governments get out of the way.)
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To: Paul Heinzman

Bwaahaaahaaa!!!


110 posted on 05/13/2008 9:50:14 AM PDT by Straight Vermonter (Posting from deep behind the Maple Curtain)
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To: All
Here is another DUmmie quote from the same thread which was posted after I DUFUed that thread. Take a look at how much this DUmmie is paying for so little...

I was home last week and paid $21 for 4 items! A loaf of cinnamon raisin bread, a jar of folger's decaf coffee, a quart of stoneyfield farms plain yogurt and medium bottle of coffee creamer.

111 posted on 05/13/2008 10:01:39 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List ---The BIGGEST on the FR!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I got hostile in the toilet paper section.......... ...12 roll pack of my usual brand

Uh, you need to go talk to Cheryl Crow. A 12 roll pack should last her at least one year, considering she only uses one sheet for each trip to the restroom.

YUCK - just thinking about that...

112 posted on 05/13/2008 10:02:35 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Typical white person, bitter, religious, gun owner, who will "Just say No to BO (or HRC).")
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To: PJ-Comix
I was home last week and paid $21 for 4 items! A loaf of cinnamon raisin bread, a jar of folger's decaf coffee, a quart of stoneyfield farms plain yogurt and medium bottle of coffee creamer.

What is the name of the grocery chain this DUmmie is shopping at? I can find better prices at the corner Stop and Rob convenience store.

113 posted on 05/13/2008 10:13:58 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Typical white person, bitter, religious, gun owner, who will "Just say No to BO (or HRC).")
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To: PJ-Comix
God damn Bush Inc and the enablers.

That'd make a good name for a retro rock group: Bush Inc and The Enablers. Kinda like Big Brother and the Holding Company.

114 posted on 05/13/2008 10:39:30 AM PDT by Argus (Obama: All turban and no goats.)
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To: Tatze

Sam’s Club for me too.

We just dropped over 400.00 there. I’ll be grilling and freezing all afternoon.

The funny thing about all of this is while people complain about the cost of fresh veggies, frozen veggies and fruit have more nutrients if steamed (veggies) or defrosted naturally.

We did buy apples, cucumbers, oranges and bananas but basically, my kids eat frozen fruit and veggies. Nothing better than frozen strawberries on a hot day.

That 400.00 will feed us for a month. But it does take work to process all of it. It’s not McDonalds.


115 posted on 05/13/2008 10:43:40 AM PDT by netmilsmom (I am Ironman. (but really made from Gold plated titanium))
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To: Paul Heinzman

I miss Cuyahoga County!


116 posted on 05/13/2008 10:46:26 AM PDT by netmilsmom (I am Ironman. (but really made from Gold plated titanium))
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To: Arrowhead1952

>>a jar of folger’s decaf coffee<<

This idiot is buying coffee crystals! Instant coffee is a huge expense.

We used to use it when we camped. A jar is 10.00. If he invested in a 10.00 coffee maker from Big Lots, he could save big bucks. But that would be work to make that coffee.


117 posted on 05/13/2008 10:49:53 AM PDT by netmilsmom (I am Ironman. (but really made from Gold plated titanium))
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To: Arrowhead1952
Hey, I just got home from grocery shopping! I found boneless/skinless chicken breasts for $1.99 per pound. I love that! I bought 5!

Eggs were $1.37. Bread was $2.29 (I buy Wonder bread). Milk was on sale, 2 for $5. I spent $0.47 for 2 bananas and $2.59 for about a pound of green grapes. Broccoli was 2 bunches for $5.

I didn't clip coupons, plan my list around the store's sale or any other nonsense. I made a list of what I felt like cooking and went to my regular store.

118 posted on 05/13/2008 10:57:02 AM PDT by Dianna
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To: PJ-Comix
are the freeptards feeling the same crunch? and what are they saying?

On Sunday I ate at a Mother's Day buffet and it was like $17 which included the tip. Outrageous! But, I'm still counting on that $600 tax rebate that BushCo promised so I'm not planning on rioting just yet.

119 posted on 05/13/2008 11:01:39 AM PDT by faq
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To: PJ-Comix

What offends me is the cashier selling that canteloupe who doesn’t speak English.


120 posted on 05/13/2008 11:15:56 AM PDT by YourAdHere (Nobody bothers me!)
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