Keyword: satire
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Despite Wikileaks evidence showing that Donna Brazile helped Hillary Clinton cheat against rival Bernie Sanders during the Democratic primaries by covertly passing questions to her ahead of debates, Press Secretary-Josh Earnest maintains that she has President Obama’s full support as chairperson of the DNC. “The president is loyal to his friends,” Earnest insisted. “The fact that Donna has been fired by CNN for besmirching their integrity has only stiffened his resolve to stand by her. Look, what she did is no worse than a baseball team stealing another team’s signs. It’s all part of the game. It’s not her fault...
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In July, FBI Director James Comey enumerated a list of crimes for which former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton could've been prosecuted if only there were evidence of "intent." He settled for labeling her deceptive practices regarding classified communications as "extraordinarily careless." This past week's Wikileaks document unveiling included two emails indicating that Clinton's henchmen were actively pursuing steps to hide her crimes. In one email, campaign chairman John Podesta says "we are going to have to dump all those emails." In another, Clinton aide Cheryl Mills orders technicians running the illegal email system to delete undesired emails with "Bleach...
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FBI agents examining the trove of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's emails on a lap-top computer seized from sexter Anthony Weiner reportedly have discovered that the emails show signs of being hacked on multiple occasions. Among the suspected hackers are China, Germany, Russia and South Korea. Clinton campaign manager Robby Mook contends that "this proves what we've been saying all along. It's good that a source as reputable as the FBI has corroborated that it is the Russians who've been meddling in our election and why America's future security is dependent upon the election of a proven leader like...
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Vice-President Joe Biden assailed what he says is an unfair "double standard" when it comes to judging Hillary Clinton's "authenticity and trustworthiness." "Look, when her husband was running for president voters overlooked the Whitewater scam and all the women he molested and let him be president," Biden remembered. "They lowered the bar for him. In a just world they'd give a similar pass to Hillary. But no, every little misstep is being held against her by a biased media aided and abetted by a rogue FBI." "They say she lies," Biden added. "What politician doesn't lie? Bill lied about Monica....
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Did Huma steal those emails and then save them as life insurance to protect herself from joining the Clinton Dead Pool? Huma Abedin is no fool. She may be the closest aide to Hillary Clinton, but she also spent the last 20 years watching enemies of the Clinton Crime Family spontaneously commit suicide. So it is with great amusement but virtually no surprise that today we are finding out that the folder Huma kept those incriminating Hillary emails in was called ‘Life Insurance‘.
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The Iraqi immigrant who raped a ten-year old boy in the changing area of a swimming pool in the Austrian capital of Vienna had his conviction overturned by the German Supreme Court this past week. The assailant, Amir A, had previously offered a “sexual emergency” argument in justification of the rape. “It had been more than four months since I had seen my wife and I had to receive sexual release for the sake of my health,” he claimed. The health of his victim was negatively impacted by the encounter. The child suffered severe anal injuries and is still plagued...
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Sunday, 16 October 2016 Martin Luther to be canonized As part of the celebrations of the Reformation, and to mark his excellent relations with the Lutherans - "After all, they're far more Catholic than the German cardinals Kasper, Marx, and their cronies" - Pope Francis has agreed to canonize Martin Luther himself.
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Huma A. Weiner, dead woman walking. Huma had learned that with the Clintons an insurance policy was a must. The 650,000 emails were her insurance policy and retirement income program. Unlike Vince Foster, who had stupidly stored his insurance in his office safe which was retrieved before his body was cold, Huma hid her insurance where no one would suspect .... on the laptop she shared with her perv part-time husband. Unfortunately for Huma, her idiot husband managed to screw something other than a 15 year old ... the rest of her life. Seems like Huma A. Weiner best "make...
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Huma Abedin has VOIDED her immunity deal with the FBI. This means she has to sing or face jail time. Hillary Clinton no longer wants her around. According to reporters on Hillary's campaign, Abedin is no longer sitting near the front cabin on her plane to Florida. She's no where to be found this morning. So sad.
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This week the American Civil Liberties Union filed a complaint with the Department of Health and Human Services Office for Civil Rights demanding that it force Catholic hospitals to sterilize patients. The complaint alleges that the refusal to provide a service the religiously supported hospitals deem a violation of their faith is unlawful discrimination against women. ACLU spokesman Bertram Petty asserted that "religious dogma must yield to the government's right to determine what kinds of medical procedures are essential human rights under the Affordable Care Act. The government represents everyone. The Catholic Church represents a minority. Clearly, democracy requires that...
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In an appearance on the CNN program The Axe Files, Democratic vice-presidential candidate Sen. Tim Kaine (Va.) reassured David Axelrod, a former top adviser to President Obama, that “Secretary Clinton wants to unleash the president’s ability to move more quickly deploy military force against this nation’s enemies. The Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) that Congress passed to enable the Bush Administration to invade Afghanistan is too restrictive. The next president needs the authority to strike quickly without warning.” Kaine cited the current stalemate in Syria between US and Russian forces as an example of where broader presidential war-making...
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In Florida, Gladys Coego, a temporary worker for the Miami-Dade County Elections Department, was caught altering mailed in ballots by coloring in "bubbles" that the original voter had left blank. Coego justified her effort "to salvage votes that otherwise would've gone to waste. If a person doesn't fully exercise their right to vote where's the harm in me finishing the job they left undone?" In a separate incident, Tomika Curgil was accused by the State Attorney's office of filing voter registration forms for five individuals without their consent, 17 additional forms for fictitious persons and several for persons recently deceased....
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This week FBI Director James Comey announced it might have to revisit the criminal investigation into former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's emails. "In the course of our investigation on another case we came across a device that held emails pertinent to our earlier probe of Secretary Clinton," Comey said in his letter to Congress. Coming on the heels of recent Wikileaks revelations of stunning examples of corruption and obstruction of justice in emails hacked from Hillary Clinton's campaign chairman John Podesta's computer, as well as Project Veritas' videos implication the Clinton campaign in dirty tricks and election fraud, the...
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Hillary Clinton sits on her Throne of Power in the Fortress of Glass, glancing at the ceiling and sharpening her hammer. She has been starting to hope. Earlier today she sent out one or two emails to old friends in Washington intimating they should “get drinks when I’m back.” She has started to say “when” more than “if.” She keeps seeing the number “45” everywhere she looks — records, temperatures — and when she does, she smiles a little to herself, as if it’s an omen. At the back of her closet there is a checklist of Things To Accomplish...
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Early voting data shows World War I veterans overwhelmingly support Hillary Clinton WASHINGTON, D.C. — With over seven million votes cast so far in the U.S. presidential election, early voting data is pointing to a tight race in most key battleground states. But there is one battleground upon which the Donald Trump campaign appears to be headed towards utter defeat: The fight for votes from World War I veterans. With at least 25,000 World War I veterans casting their votes thus far, the party affiliation breakdown of submitted ballots is suggesting a hard break towards the Clinton camp among veterans...
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So a British chick is telling her to break up...
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Still smarting from a Congressional override of his veto of the Justice Against Sponsors of Terrorism Act, a law that allows victims of the 9/11 jihadi attack on the World Trade Center and Pentagon the right to sue foreign governments that aided the terrorists, President Obama has ordered Secretary of State John Kerry to work out a scheme with the government of Saudi Arabia to nullify the law. In a meeting held this week, Kerry assured Saudi Foreign Minister Adel al-Jubeir that “we will figure out how we can adjust the law in a way that is mutually satisfactory to...
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The broadcast news “talking heads” went into hysterics following Republican presidential contender Donald Trump’s refusal to automatically concede on election night if it looks like the votes go against him. On CNN, the commentators proclaimed Trump’s stance “a threat to our democracy.” All professed to have never heard such a statement at any previous presidential debate. Which is true because no other candidate was ever asked this question. Whether Trump might have good reason to wait until he sees the election results for himself seems to be supported by several facts. On the one hand, there have been a number...
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Libertarian presidential candidate and former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson complained about the media's "double standard" after they ignored Hillary Clinton's geographic inaccuracy regarding Mosul while lampooning him as "an ignorant dope" when he failed to recognize "Aleppo." "I wasn't Secretary of State for four years like Hillary was," he pointed out. "I was peacefully minding my own business. Why should I be expected to know such minutia? But she is the one who supposed to be the world's smartest woman. She is the one who never ceases to remind us that she's got 30 years of experience in government....
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