Free Republic

This week, Gov. Kay Ivey (R-Ala) signed a bill that will ensure President Biden's name is on the state's November ballot. The Governor praised the bi-partisan cooperation, saying "in a democracy, it is essential that both major Parties cooperate to give voters a choice in who they want as their president. Just because Special Counsel Robert Hur declined to prosecute Biden because he is an elderly man with a poor memory doesn't mean voters in our state should be denied the opportunity to cast their ballots for him." Biden campaign manager Julie Chávez Rodríguez called the bi-partisan action "a necessary...

This week police were called in to oust protesters who seized control of Hamilton Hall on the Columbia University campus in New York City, smashing glass doors and windows in the process. Sen. John Fetterman (D-Penn) hailed the decision to "remove these anti-Semitic thugs from the property. This is no 'peace protest.' It is a demonstration in support of the Hamas terrorists who slaughtered over a 1,200 Israeli civilians last October 7 and demands the elimination of the Jewish presence in the region." Mayor Eric Adams (D) objected to "the trashing of the premises, tearing down the American flag, and...

In the sanctuary city of Denver, Colorado, Mayor Mike Johnson (D) announced that "we will provide a long-term, sustainable response to address the migrant crisis. This program will offer six months of free housing, food assistance, workforce training and more to the migrants currently in the city's shelter system as they wait for federal authorization to work." Housing advocacy group Housekeys Action Network Denver (HAND) slammed Johnston, calling the City's efforts "inadequate." Willy Bastidas, a migrant, said "I think that it's insufficient. The mayor doesn't adequately represent immigrants' interests. He needs to listen to us and work with us toward...

White House Council of Economic Advisers Chair Jared Bernstein dismissed concerns that the economy is under-performing, saying "I can't get myself worked up over mere statistics in the GDP or CPI. Folks don't eat the GDP. The CPI includes volatile components like food, energy, and housing. If we exclude the price spikes in these areas inflation doesn't look so bad." "A key strength that our Republican critics overlook is that government spending remains robust," Bernstein added. "Under Bidenomics we're not at the mercy of private sector investments for economic growth. Their anti-social quest for increased profits is supplanted by a...

A White House informed source has confirmed that there was a foiled coup against White House Paid Liar, Karine Jean-Pierre (KJP), this last week. Back stabbing actors on the White House staff had become increasing disappointed with KJP's performance as White House Paid Liar. Many noted that the President's lies about his past have received more attention than KJP's press briefings official lies. Some actor had suggested that Gov. Kristi Noem should be hired to down the less than worthless sick puppy KJP. Others suggested that a more humane approach be taken to just replace her. Two candidates emerged from...

This week, the Department of Justice (DOJ) refused to comply with a Congressional subpoena for the audio of Special Counsel Robert Hur's interview of President Biden. It was this interview that prompted Hur to decline to prosecute Biden even though he had mishandled classified documents because "he would present himself as an elderly man with a poor memory and be acquitted." Assistant Attorney General Carlos Uriarte defended defying the subpoena, saying "the written transcript alone should be enough for them. After all, we could have refused to give them anything. Their threat to hold me in contempt of Congress is...

Italy's Senate passed a law which allows regions to permit groups "with a qualified experience supporting motherhood" to have access to women considering abortions at public clinics. Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni said "allowing those with a pro-life message into abortion clinics is intended to fully inform women. I believe that we must guarantee a free choice and I believe that to make a free choice you need to have all the necessary information." Silvana Agatone, president of the pro-choice association LAIGA, objected to the law saying "these pro-life advocates don't have the medical training or the credentials to give accurate...

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A trend sweeping America is for people to break into unoccupied homes and resist eviction by claiming "squatter's rights." Some states, notably New York, explicitly facilitate this crime by declaring that a trespasser who can rebuff the owner's efforts to remove him for 30 days qualifies for "tenants rights." In an effort to ensure that intruders don't inflict these same crimes on Arizona home owners, the legislature passed a bipartisan bill (SB 1129) that would have permitted a homeowner to request law enforcement to immediately remove a squatter from his or her property. This bill was vetoed by Gov. Katie...

This week, the US Supreme Court heard arguments over the scope of presidential immunity. The issue arose as a result of special counsel Jack Smith's prosecution of former President Donald Trump for questioning the outcome of the 2020 election. During the discussion, Justice Brett Kavanaugh asked about former President Obama's drone strikes on American citizens. Department of Justice (DOJ) attorney Michael Dreeben said "we looked at this very carefully and determined that the federal murder statute does apply to the executive branch. So, if the president orders that someone be killed it is considered a lawful act. President Obama ordered...

This week the US Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the case of Fischer vs. United States. This concerns the severity of punishment given to many defendants convicted of trespassing in the Capitol on January 6, 2021. Solicitor General Elizabeth Prelogar, representing the Department of Justice was being questioned by several of the Associate Justices. Justice Paul Gorsuch wondered whether "initiating a false fire alarm like Rep. Jamaal Bowman (D-NY) did in order to obstruct a House vote on a bill would be sufficient to trigger a 20-year prison sentence?" Prelogar said "no, because the delay was only a few...

President Joe Biden made significant changes to Title IX last week, expanding the definition of the word "woman" to an emoji of someone shrugging followed by a pride flag. There were other changes, however, that flew under the radar. The Babylon Bee has compiled the following comprehensive list of Title IX changes imposed by the Biden administration: Every women's bathroom must now have glitter dispensers for drag queens: It's always important to freshen up with new glitter after a trip to the restroom. Breastfeeding in public is outlawed as it may make trans women feel inadequate: Making the men...

The Biden Administration's efforts to bring peace to Gaza by supporting the Palestinian Authority (PA) went awry went the money the US provided was spent to reward the families of martyrs in the fight against the Jewish occupation of Palestine. Spokesman for the PA Jenin Adnan Abu Aisheh emphasized that "compensating the heros of Islam is, and always has been, our highest priority." US Secretary of State Tony Blinken said "it is profoundly disappointing to see the aid we have given to the PA diverted to furthering the conflict. By taking the PA's side in their struggle for dominance against...

Rep. Ilhan Omar's (D-Minn) daughter Isra Hirsi was one of 108 students arrested at the request of Columbia University President Nemat "Minouche" Shafik. "I took this extraordinary step because these are extraordinary circumstances. The individuals who established the encampment violated a long list of rules and policies. The vile and overt anti-Semitism has made many other students feel unsafe." Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich) called the arrests "an unjustified suppression of freedom of speech. These students are protesting Israel's indiscriminate massacre of Palestinians in retaliation for Hamas' heroic October attack against the Jews' illegal occupation of Palestine. Instead of removing these...

By a vote of 51 to 48, the US Senate voted not to bother with an impeachment trial for Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas. The articles of impeachment sent over from the US House of Representatives charged Mayorkas with "willful and systematic refusal to comply with the law and lying under oath in his testimony to Congress." Majority Leader Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) explained "we don't need a trial to know that Secretary Mayorkas is not guilty. He has explained to me personally that he supports allowing more immigrants into America than current law permits because his parents were...

In a surprise move, Manhattan DA, Fat Al Bragg, announced another 50 felony charges to be added to the existing charges Monday morning. Fat Al brought the charges concerning the unpermitted campaign event at a Harlem bodega. Ordinarily holding the event without a permit would only be a misdemeanor, but under NY Trump election year persecution laws, the misdemeanor charges were bumped up to felonies. Approximately 50 paid minorities were in attendance so 50 felony counts were mandated. Marxist State Media law consultant Jeffrey Toobin, a noted hands on constitutional law expert, said in his expert opinion that the charges...

After hearing the sad story of President Biden losing his beloved uncle to New Guinea cannibals, Secretary of Defense , LLoyd Austin, leaped into action. The Secretary related his own story of his great, great grandfather, LLoyd Ambrose Austin, being chased by Arab slavers and escaping, but unfortunately being eaten by cannibals in Niger. The Secretary, working with DARPA, announced two initiatives for all troops in cannibal vulnerable stations, to include NATO, CENCOM, Asia and selected blue states. All troops in those areas will be supplied with Cannibal Repellant and will be micro-chipped with a chip similar to an Air-Tag....

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After workshopping several potential slogans with Democratic focus groups, the 2024 Biden campaign has settled on "Death To America". "This is what the Biden Presidency is all about," announced President Biden as the campaign banner was unfurled. "Death to the Great Satan!" According to sources within the campaign, Biden began considering the slogan after hearing his supporters organically chanting "Death To America" at his speeches. "Nothing fires up a Biden crowd like calling for the violent destruction of the United States," said campaign manager Steve Roscoe. "It's like how whenever Trump needed to juice the crowd in...

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) went on the Late Show where she and host discussed a little known potential benefit of shifting the burden of paying off college debt from the students who borrowed the money to taxpayers. "One of my greatest regrets after I got out of college is that I had to go to work to pay off my student loans," the Congresswoman lamented. "This seemed so unfair when many of my rich classmates had the money to go abroad to experience the world and all its wonders. If my loans had been forgiven I could've used the payments...

Already under fire for misspending most of the money donated to the March for Our Lives PAC he co-founded, gun control activist David Hogg was unable to make a coherent response to Lily Tang Williams' criticisms of his gun-control efforts. Ms. Williams immigrated from China, became a US citizen and is now running for Congress in New Hampshire. "You say no one should have the right to own a gun," Ms Williams said. "Well, in China, no private citizen is allowed to have guns. No one has an effective self-defense against government tyranny. The communist government murdered millions of its...