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Keyword: satire

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Start your April 15th off right with this Tax Day poem!

    04/15/2014 9:37:30 AM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 3 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 4-15-14 | The Looking Spoon
  • Former Presidents Comment on Obama Administration’s Achievements

    04/14/2014 10:07:12 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 April 2014 | John Semmens
    Former President Bill Clinton told an admiring audience that “if I were forced to evaluate the Obama Administration I’d have to give it some bad marks, especially when it comes to the economy. It’s been particularly hard on the middle class. Incomes are lower now than when Obama took office. And that’s before accounting for inflation. The people we Democrats profess to want to help have been hammered by the policies the President and Congress have implemented. The ‘stimulus’ and the ‘green jobs’ initiatives had good intentions, but we’ve spent a whole lot of money with no appreciable positive impact...
  • BREAKING: NJ Chris Christie Changing Party Affiliation to Democrat

    04/13/2014 6:00:43 PM PDT · by GilGil · 12 replies
    RAND PAUL REVIEW ^ | 4/13/2014 | EDITORIAL
    Stunning a crowded convention, NJ Chris Christie announced to a group of supporters with former President Clinton that he would seek reelection in 2014 as a democrat. The move comes after months of odd behavior from the former NJ republican. Tensions have been mounting between the NJ Governor and the GOP. At this year’s CPAC Convention, which hosts some of the greatest names in the conservative party Christie was denied entrance. Christie struck a sour note with conservatives for palling up with Obama during Hurricane Sandy. The bill to send money to victims was full of pork and republicans wanted...
  • BREAKING: NJ Chris Christie Changing Party Affiliation to Democrat

    04/13/2014 5:45:09 PM PDT · by Lazamataz · 52 replies
    Stunning a crowded convention, NJ Chris Christie announced to a group of supporters with former President Clinton that he would seek reelection in 2014 as a democrat. The move comes after months of odd behavior from the former NJ republican. Tensions have been mounting between the NJ Governor and the GOP. At this year’s CPAC Convention, which hosts some of the greatest names in the conservative party Christie was denied entrance. Christie struck a sour note with conservatives for palling up with Obama during Hurricane Sandy. The bill to send money to victims was full of pork and republicans wanted...
  • Congressional Candidate Says Pro-Lifers “Mentally Disabled”

    04/13/2014 10:50:39 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 17 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 April 2014 | John Semmens
    Mike Dickinson, the Democratic challenger for the Virginia Congressional seat currently held by Republican Eric Cantor went on a rant against opponents of abortion this week. “The people who say that abortion is against God’s plan are mentally disabled,” Dickinson maintained. “Look, they say they pray that abortions be stopped, but abortions continue. Since, in their view, God is all-powerful, the failure of their prayers must either mean that there is no God or that God is okay with abortions.” Not content with belittling pro-lifers, Dickinson also took a swat at the Tea Party, calling them “the true terrorists. The...
  • Republican Incensed by DOJ Stonewalling

    04/12/2014 12:22:08 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 April 2014 | John Semmens
    Representative Louie Gohmert (R-Tex) described himself as “frustrated and mystified” by his inability to obtain copies of Department of Justice communications that have been provided to the attorneys defending men facing charges for terrorist acts in Illinois. “Why can’t the Attorney General have the common courtesy to give a member of Congress equal access?” Gohmert wondered. AG Eric Holder insisted that the distinctly different treatment was warranted. “These men are on trial and need this information to defend themselves,” Holder argued. “They face serious consequences if they don’t have the best possible defense.” “In contrast, I have determined that Congress...
  • Health Secretary Resigns

    04/12/2014 8:11:15 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 April 2014 | John Semmens
    This week it was announced that Kathleen Sebelius will be leaving her post as Secretary of Health and Human Services. President Obama thanked her for “her courageous and tireless efforts to ensure that every American has health insurance.” Afterward, those in attendance gave her a standing ovation. “Secretary Sebelius has had to face hostility every step of the way toward this monumental achievement,” the President declared. “Critics in Congress said the Affordable Care Act wouldn’t be affordable. Consumers complained that the policies offered under the ACA cover less than their old plans and cost more. Others were too inept to...
  • State Department Priorities Debated

    04/11/2014 3:06:50 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 April 2014 | John Semmens
    Prior to 2012's attack on Libyan Ambassador Chris Stevens there were numerous rejected requests from the Ambassador for more security. Then Secretary of State Hillary Clinton blamed the repeated rejection of these requests on budget constraints. At the same time, the State Department was laying out funds for some dubious undertakings—including funding the sending of comedians to India. Senator Rand Paul (R-Ken) questioned whether funding comedians might have been a frivolous use of money that might have been better used to provide more security in Libya. In testimony before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, current Secretary of State John Kerry...
  • Eric Cantor tweets "Thank You" to Kathleen Sebelius

    04/10/2014 5:03:50 PM PDT · by gwgn02 · 51 replies
    Twitter ^ | 4/10/14 | Eric Cantor
    Eric Cantor ‏@GOPLeader 1h I thank Secretary Sebelius for her service. She had an impossible task: nobody can make Obamacare work.
  • This is the huge question Democrats wont (and can't) answer as they peddle the gender wage gap myth

    04/09/2014 3:14:40 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 18 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 4-9-14 | The Looking Spoon
    See a comprehensive takedown of liberals on this issue at Legal Insurrection.
  • The only circumstance under which reasonable people vote Democrat

    04/08/2014 10:33:54 AM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 20 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 4-8-14 | The Looking Spoon
    To liberals who see this post:Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to imply that unreasonable people vote Democrat...I'm flat out saying it.
  • Audit Suggests Voter Fraud Widespread [I know it's hard to tell, but it is satire]

    04/08/2014 8:13:55 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 17 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 Apr 2014 | John Semmens
    An audit of voter registration rolls in North Carolina uncovered tens of thousands of duplicate voter registrations in which the first and last names as well as last four digits of Social Security numbers matched for voters registered in both North Carolina and elsewhere. The odds of randomly producing a single match using these three variables is infinitesimal. Nevertheless, the audit found more than 150,000 matches. In 35,000 cases, votes were cast both in North Carolina and in other states for the November 2012 election. US Attorney General Eric Holder rejected calls for a more comprehensive investigation, calling the findings...
  • NBC Planning New TV Series Starring Al Sharpton

    04/07/2014 6:37:48 PM PDT · by Diogenes Sarcastica · 16 replies
    Diogenes Middle Finger | 4/7/2014 | Diogenes
  • In Response to Ft. Hood Massacre, DOD May Ban Smoking

    04/07/2014 2:09:29 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 16 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Apr 2014 | John Semmens
    This past week’s second mass shooting at the Ft. Hood Army base may finally stir the Department of Defense into action. Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel is reportedly ready to ban smoking by military personnel. “While some are using this tragedy to urge that military personnel be allowed to carry weapons for self defense, I am not going to be stampeded into a move that runs counter to the President’s philosophy on guns,” Hagel declared. “These shootings are tragic, but the toll from smoking is far larger.” “Even if we were to come up with a successful counter to these...
  • Schumer Denounces Supreme Court Election Spending Ruling

    04/07/2014 9:58:52 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 11 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Apr 2014 | John Semmens
    Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY) denounced this week’s Supreme Court ruling allowing individuals to donate to as many political causes and candidates as they please. “The worst thing about this decision is that it will hamper the Government’s ability to regulate speech,” Schumer complained. “Critics may end up almost as well financed as spokespersons for the government. That is a formula for dissent and disunity.” “The limits struck down by the Court cut the legal ground out from the Administration’s program of using the IRS to scrutinize and restrain groups that contribute to dissension and disunity,” the Senator added. “Fortunately, the...
  • Ryan Budget Gets Mixed Reviews

    04/06/2014 10:07:07 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Apr 2014 | John Semmens
    This week Representative Paul Ryan (R-Wis) presented a 10-year federal budget that would slowly reduce the rate of growth in government spending. His proposal was blasted from both sides of the political spectrum. Former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin lambasted its timidity, arguing that “adding more spending now and postponing any slow down in the spending rate to the future ensures a continued accumulation of debt. The hope that some future Congress will have the courage to rein-in runaway spending is not a satisfactory trade-off for refusing to tackle the current spending binge.” President Obama called the Ryan budget “a stinkburger...
  • Counting Obama's wimpiness 6 ways to Sunday (literally!)

    04/05/2014 4:03:20 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 22 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 4-5-14 | The Looking Spoon
    Not a bad title for a Saturday post :-)So, back in 2012 Newsweek tried calling Mitt Romney a wimp...So much so that he shouldn't be president. We knew this was crap, especially compared to the pansy they were peddling to America...
  • Russian ambassadors: 'next we'll take Catalonia, Venice, Scotland and Alaska'

    04/04/2014 10:59:24 AM PDT · by SeekAndFind · 53 replies
    The Guardian ^ | 04/04/2014 | Shaun Walker in Moscow
    <p>Unauthenticated, expletive-laden recording of pair joking about which countries to annex after Crimea is leaked online.</p> <p>A recording has surfaced online purporting to be a leaked conversation between two Russian ambassadors discussing which parts of the world they would like to annex after Crimea.</p>
  • Pay Boost for Congress Given High Priority

    04/05/2014 11:00:44 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Apr 2014 | John Semmens
    Calling the current $174,000 annual salary (not counting perks) an “injustice,” Representative James Moran (D-Virginia) vowed to “right this wrong.” “Congress is like the board of directors of the largest economic entity in the world,” Moran contended. “With a GDP of over $16 trillion we preside over the distribution of more wealth than any other board of directors. We deserve a bigger piece of this pie.” The Congressman suggested that “a salary of $2 million per year might be a good starting point. In total, that would only amount to around a billion per year share of our $16 trillion...
  • EPA Justifies Experiments

    04/05/2014 8:02:09 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Apr 2014 | John Semmens
    Revelations that the US Environmental Protection Agency has been conducting deadly experiments on unwitting volunteers have surfaced. According to the Office of the Inspector General (OIG), the EPA’s experiments exposed individuals to pollutants in quantities up to 50 times greater than the levels the agency deems safe. The OIG findings were dismissed as “exaggerated scaremongering” by EPA Administrator Gina McCarthy. “The number of individuals exposed to these toxins are but a tiny fraction of the population. Those criticizing the Agency are overlooking the potentially larger gains to the vast majority of the country that may be achieved by the sacrifice...
  • President Orders End to Health Care Debate

    04/04/2014 9:14:36 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 39 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 Apr 2014 | John Semmens
    In a press conference heralding the attainment of 7 million enrollments in his signature Affordable Care Act insurance plan this past Monday, President Obama declared “the debate over the merits of this law has been settled. The success of the program has been conclusively proven by the events of this past week. There is no longer any need for further discussion. I am instructing the FCC to monitor all media outlets that are licensed through this agency for compliance with my directive. Any unwarranted excursions into disputation or reporting that is intended to reflect negatively on the program or to...
  • 11 Ways Obama Sees Racism...

    04/03/2014 5:13:54 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 7 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 4-3-14 | The Looking Spoon
  • I hope, somehow, that all 7 mil. Obamacare "signups" get this achievement award I made for them

    04/02/2014 2:41:47 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 5 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 4-2-14 | The Looking Spoon
    Holy smokes you should see Memeorandum. I'm not going to link to any of the libnorant posts gloating that Obamacare "met it's goal," but here's one headline from Politico: "Obamacare critics: Homina, homina, homina"LOL...yeah, right. How's this for "homina"...Moron.
  • New Ecumenical English Missal

    04/01/2014 2:01:31 AM PDT · by markomalley · 5 replies
    Liturgy (NZ) ^ | 4/1/2014 | Bosco Peters
    UPDATED with some other sites telling this same story: Fr Z (Fr. John Zuhlsdorf), Pray Tell, The Telegraph,…A rumour has been growing about a possible review of the Roman Catholic missal translation, but no one anticipated the announcement of a New Ecumenical English Missal Project, which will mean that the words for the whole Eucharist will be the same across a number of significant English-speaking denominations.Pope Francis, ever taking people by surprise, in only the second year of his papacy, pointedly, on the feast day of a woman saint, St Theodora (April 1), is formally signing the declaration that he...
  • Abortions Are Environmentally Friendly

    03/31/2014 12:41:11 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 17 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 March 2014 | John Semmens
    Reports this past week that hospitals in the United Kingdom have been burning aborted babies to save on fuel costs for heating the buildings appalled some, but not all. US Environmental Protection Agency Administrator, Gina McCarthy, urged that “once you get beyond the initial ‘gag-reflex,’ the idea has significant environmental positives. First, it almost goes without saying that adding more human beings to the population is a definite stress to the environment. So, abortions make a substantial contribution to lessening this source of stress.” “Once the abortion is completed what do we do with the ensuing medical waste?” McCarthy continued....
  • So, taking liberal logic to it's rational conclusion Obama IS Darth Vader...

    03/31/2014 11:26:25 AM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 8 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-31-14 | The Looking Spoon
    Liberals think Dick Cheney was like Vader...PSSSSHH!
  • California State Senator Denies Hypocrisy

    03/31/2014 10:36:02 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 13 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 March 2014 | John Semmens
    California State Senator Leland Yee vigorously denied that his arrest on gun running charges in anyway contradicts his long time support of gun control laws. “My position all along has been that firearms do not belong in the hands of untrained individuals,” Yee maintained. “What I have sought to prevent are shootings carried out by unorganized citizens.” “The parties for whom I arranged to purchase guns are all well-organized cadres of persons dedicated to a political cause for which the possession of high-powered firearms is essential,” Yee explained. “Do you think that the Islamic jihad has any chance of peacefully...
  • “Congress Is No Place” for Farmers Statement Defended

    03/30/2014 1:39:03 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 45 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 March 2014 | John Semmens
    Iowa Democratic Senatorial candidate, Representative Bruce Braley’s assertion that Congress is no place for a farmer has not gone over well among the state’s rural population. “I’m not saying that farmers don’t have a meaningful role to play in our society,” Braley said in his own defense. “Obviously, someone has to grow the crops and raise the livestock to feed this nation. What I’m saying is that farmers lack the skill necessary to make our laws.” The persons with the necessary skills, according to Braley, are lawyers. “The job of Congress is to enact laws,” Braley observed. “Lawyers are trained...
  • Michelle Obama Recalls Surviving American Death Camps

    03/30/2014 10:26:19 AM PDT · by rktman · 53 replies
    The Peoples Cube ^ | 3/26/2014 | Komissar Blogunov
    Speaking to a group of awestruck Chinese citizens, Michelle Obama recounted her years of oppression as a victim of racism and how she survived the American extermination camps. "There were laws in America that discriminated against people like me because of the color of our skin," said Michelle. A sharp inward gasp was heard as the interpreter finished her comment in Mandarin.
  • US Blocks Sexual Fidelity and Abstinence in Battle against AIDS

    03/30/2014 9:12:23 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 12 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 March 2014 | John Semmens
    To the consternation of African representatives on the UN Commission on the Status of Women (CSW), US and European delegates rejected the idea of including sexual fidelity and abstinence among a list of measures aimed at countering the AIDS epidemic in Africa. US Ambassador to the United Nations Samantha Power defended the move as “part of the United States devotion to protecting the unrestricted right of individuals to have sex with whomever they choose, whenever they choose. To merely suggest that a person might lower their risk of infection by remaining faithful to a sexual partner or deferring sexual gratification...
  • Senator Insists Videos of Him Must Have Been Photo-Shopped

    03/29/2014 10:01:03 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 17 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 March 2014 | John Semmens
    Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) vociferously denied ever accusing victims of Obamacare of lying about their troubles. He dismissed video evidence of him making such accusations as “bogus.” “In an earlier era ‘seeing is believing’ might have been a powerful verification of reality,” Reid said. “However, in this age of increasingly sophisticated computers, software, and savvy users one can no longer count on believing one’s own eyes and ears. It is inconceivable to me that I would have made such a foolish and politically inept assertion in public.” Reid’s portrayal of sophisticated computer users victimizing him clashed with his...
  • Top 10 things Putin said to Obama about Ukraine

    03/29/2014 9:30:55 AM PDT · by ReformationFan · 21 replies
    The People's Cube ^ | 3-29-14 | Selwyn Duke
    10. Look, the Ukrainians have a country; they didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen. 9. I’m just fulfilling the dreams from my father. 8. I can’t help myself; I’m a typical white person. 7. For the first time in my adult lifetime, I’m really proud of your country. 6. Yes, we can. 5. No, you can’t. 4. No matter how this turns out, Barry, I’ll R-S-P-E-C-T you in the morning. 3. I promise never to threaten any of your 58 states. 2. If I had a new province, it would look like Ukraine. And number 1… If you...
  • Administration Signing up Mexicans for Obamacare

    03/28/2014 7:01:35 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 12 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 March 2014 | John Semmens
    While progress in inducing Americans to sign up for health insurance has been less than robust, The Obama Administration has been meeting with more success signing up Mexican nationals. Affordable Care Act “navigators” are reportedly conducting a vigorous “outreach program” at Mexican Consulates all over the US. Vice-President Joe Biden rejected contentions that this violates President Obama's promise that the ACA would cover only American citizens. “The people being signed up are American citizens in everything but name,” Biden insisted. “They reside in the United States. They have jobs or are receiving government benefits in the United States. And we...
  • 10 Letters to President Obama from Conservative Kids

    03/27/2014 4:26:47 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 6 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-27-14 | The Looking Spoon
  • It's a SAD day for liberalism when you just can't tell if they're being mocked or taken seriously

    03/27/2014 10:10:49 AM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 7 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-27-14 | The Looking Spoon
    I cannot tell if this piece is satire or if some liberal photoshopped some sort of leftist dream toy.Thoughts?
  • Michelle Recalls Surviving American Death Camps

    03/26/2014 7:59:54 PM PDT · by tcrlaf · 48 replies
    People's Cube ^ | 3-26-2014 | Komissar Blogunov
    Speaking to a group of awestruck Chinese citizens, Michelle Obama recounted her years of oppression as a victim of racism and how she survived the American extermination camps. "There were laws in America that discriminated against people like me because of the color of our skin," said Michelle. A sharp inward gasp was heard as the interpreter finished her comment in Mandarin. Still haunted by laws that were no longer in effect when she was born, Michelle outlined her plight as she endured racism in Princeton University, and narrowly escaped death at Harvard Law School. Tears were seen streaming down...
  • Arkansas Travelers introduce new final mascot: "Gary the Rabid Raccoon"

    03/26/2014 5:32:25 PM PDT · by DCBryan1 · 18 replies
    Rock City Times ^ | 26 MAR 14 | Gary Henderson
    NORTH LITTLE ROCK – The Arkansas Travelers introduced their final mascot for the upcoming 2014 baseball season today, Gary the Rabid Raccoon. After a long search conducted by Arkansas’ minor league baseball club, the Travelers settled on three characters that grew up in Travelers lore.The first two mascots, Ace and Otey, were unveiled yesterday. Today in a special ceremony they introduced the captain of the new mascot team, Gary. All three mascots hold deep connections to the franchise they will now represent. “We are so excited to introduce Gary to our fans. I think the kids will really love him,”...
  • Obama announces delay in NCAA basketball championship: says people couldn't get their brackets in.

    03/26/2014 10:39:37 AM PDT · by ken5050 · 11 replies
    one man's opinion...
    The White House announced that President Obama has just issued an Executive Order which will delay the NCAA basketball championship for one month, until May 1st. Obama took this action after he learned that many people were unable to submit their brackets on time, because of computer glitches at the Yahoo, SI.com, and ESPN websites.
  • Governor Warns Gun Owners

    03/25/2014 10:49:51 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 29 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 Mar 2014 | John Semmens
    The assertion by many Connecticut gun owners that they will not comply with the State’s new requirement to register their weapons did not sit well with Governor Dannel Malloy (D). “What these people need to realize is that I’m serious,” Malloy declared. “They may chatter about the 4th Amendment all they want, but if they fail to comply I promise to use the full power of the State to enforce the law. They had the opportunity to make their case before we passed the registration requirement. They lost. We won.” “Possession of an unregistered firearm is now a felony in...
  • Leftist Government Officials Attack NYC Charter Schools

    03/24/2014 7:08:23 AM PDT · by John Semmens
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 Mar 2014 | John Semmens
    New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio pleased the teachers’ union by canceling three previously approved charter schools. However, Brooklyn City Councilman Vincent Gentile wants him to go further. “Saying no to new charter schools doesn’t do anything to combat the over-achievement being inflicted on our community by the schools that are already operating,” Gentile complained. “The advocates for these schools imagine that a recitation of the learning gains for students in these schools should persuade us that they are a good thing. I maintain that this is evidence of the pernicious effects of the charter school movement.” “The learning...
  • Bribery Case against Pennsylvania Democrats Dropped

    03/23/2014 10:39:44 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 March 2014 | John Semmens
    Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane (D) has decided to drop charges against four state legislators caught on tape accepting bribes in exchange for voting against a voter ID bill in 2012. According to the tapes, Rep. Ronald Waters got payments totaling $7,650, Rep. Vanessa Brown $4,000, Rep. Michelle Brownlee $3,500, and Rep. Louise Bishop $1,500. Kane called the investigation “poorly conceived. The notion that these individuals were influenced by the bribes is ludicrous. Every one of the individuals implicated was a Democrat. Democrats would be expected to vote against voter ID no matter whether they were bribed or not. In...
  • Judge Rules Border Fence Illegal

    03/22/2014 1:35:52 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 26 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 March 2014 | John Semmens
    U.S. District Court Judge for the District of Columbia Beryl Howell ruled that “the construction of any kind of barrier to the free movement of people across the US/Mexican border is illegal. There can be no disputing that such a barrier would explicitly target a protected ethnic minority. This violates the equal protection clause.” As the Judge sees it, “in order to pass muster, a policy, program, or enforcement must be shown to affect all racial, ethnic, religious, sexual, and sexual-orientation subsets of the population in roughly equal proportion to each group’s percentage of the population. Since a fence along...
  • DOJ Rejects Independent Prosecutor Request

    03/22/2014 8:47:34 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 March 2014 | John Semmens
    Attorney General Eric Holder rejected Texas Senator Ted Cruz’s request that an independent prosecutor be named to investigate IRS targeting of conservatives. “The impartiality of those presently assigned to this case—both AG Holder himself and his delegated investigator Barbara Bosserman—is tainted,” Cruz contended. “Any finding of ‘no wrong doing’ they may issue would lack credibility.” Holder dismissed Cruz’s request as “outside the normal range of authorized governmental processes. The voters elected President Obama to rule this country. His appointees are fully empowered by his election to carry out his will. There is no mandate for such a thing as an...
  • Veep Says Trials and Tribulations of Health Law Qualify President for Sainthood

    03/21/2014 10:00:24 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 21 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 March 2014 | John Semmens
    “No one has suffered more than the President over this thing,” said Vice-President Joe Biden commenting on the disastrous Affordable Care Act. “I know it will be hard for those who've lost coverage or seen their premiums skyrocket to grasp this. But these people have minor individual problems. The President has to face a rising tide of criticism and blame. He's not used to that. If anyone qualifies for sainthood it's him.” Talk show host Ellen Degeneres largely concurred in Biden's assessment arguing that “while there may be a few malcontents, I think the vast majority of Americans are truly...
  • Examples of what honest slogans look like in liberal advertisements

    03/21/2014 4:54:56 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 6 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-21-14 | The Looking Spoon
  • ET phone Earth? Light on Saturn's large moon Titan likely waves, scientists say

    03/20/2014 10:04:28 AM PDT · by avalonmistmoon · 47 replies
    Fox News ^ | March 20 2014 | Fox News
    Did NASA just spotted the crash spot of the Malaysia Airline missing jet. .
  • Even if it came to this Obama still wouldn't see we have a spending problem...

    03/20/2014 3:57:29 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 4 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-20-14 | The Looking Spoon
    I was a fan of 30 Rock, even though it totally had a liberal bent to it I was impressed that they did make an effort to mock both sides and be funny about it.
  • Joe Biden is now the star of his very own "Someecards"

    03/19/2014 4:26:11 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 4 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-19-14 | The Looking Spoon
    The original has the head of a woman on that body.
  • Chicago May Double Property Taxes to Pay for Pensions

    03/18/2014 12:30:48 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 26 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 March 2014 | John Semmens
    With pensions for retired municipal employees exceeding City resources by an estimated $7,000 per household, Mayor Rahm Emanuel has warned residents that he may have to double their property taxes to cover these costs. The mayor admitted that “doubling the property tax would hit a lot of people hard, but the alternative of cutting back on the benefits we pay to our retirees is unthinkable. Remember, these are people who have dedicated their careers to serving the citizens of this city.” Emanuel argued that “extracting another few thousand dollars from each home owner seems the more tolerable option. I mean,...
  • WELCOME TO THE RIGHTLY GUIDED:

    03/18/2014 7:20:47 AM PDT · by rktman · 2 replies
    Earloftaint.com ^ | 3/13/2014 | Earloftaint
    BREAKING: Russia Downs American Drone