Posted on 01/16/2009 5:16:26 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Quite!
Re: 121
We’re not supposed to call ANYONE Father!
< /SEINFELD >
I'm at the office. Is that sort of thing frowned upon here?
They DID say "casual Friday".
Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,
“I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine & fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
She got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.
She’s such a b**ch.....
funny
hey now.. that signs pointing at the wrong hag in the senate. it should be pointing at stabacow (d-mi)
The Secret Lives of Cats and Dogs
DOG DIARY
8 a.m. - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 a.m. - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12 p.m. - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1 p.m. - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3 p.m. - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5 p.m. - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7 p.m. - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8 p.m. - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!
11 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my
contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me
going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again
vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped that this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of “allergies”. I must learn what this means, and how to
use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has
got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe...For now.
I had my first hernia surgery the very day Clinton beat Papa Bush....being unable to sleep from the hurt following, that entire night was excruciating until I gave up and turned off the TV.
Look in the next cubicle.
So I stand corrected - the OFST would be the ONLY thing that will make the next 4 years tolerable. LOL !
I just rec’d this in an email from a nice Catholic girl.
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and
generic name. For example, the trade name of Panadol also
has a generic name of Paracetamol. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Nurofen is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.
After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to liter ally pour himself a stiff one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good old-fashioned ‘stiff drink’. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research.
This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky Boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Why LJ.. I’m.. speechless.
Is that.. chiffon?
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