Free Republic 3rd Quarter Fundraising Target: $85,000 Receipts & Pledges to-date: $68,865
81%  
Woo hoo!! And we're now over 81%!! Less than $17k to go!! Let's git 'er done!! Thank you all very much!!

Humor (General/Chat)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Proofreading is a dying art

    08/21/2014 1:16:03 PM PDT · by NKP_Vet · 38 replies
    Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say? Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day. I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny... Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says No crap, really? Ya think? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Now that's taking things a bit far!...
  • Bill Clinton Now Enjoys $1,000 Cigars

    08/21/2014 5:35:04 AM PDT · by W. · 47 replies
    The Weekly Standard ^ | 7/21/2014 | DANIEL HALPER
    Bill Clinton enjoys a Gurkha cigar, "the Rolls Royce of the cigar industry." "The cigars are close to $1,000 each," says the cigar boss.
  • New law only allows police of same ethnicity to shoot suspects

    08/21/2014 5:00:49 AM PDT · by orwell2112 · 16 replies
    Thoughtgrime ^ | August 21, 2014 | Sisyphus
    FERGUSON, MO. – (TG) Attorney General Eric Holder, who flew to Ferguson to be close to The Troubles, had a surprise for a torn community aching for a meaningful solution to racial tension betwixt law enforcement and citizenry. On Wednesday, he announced a sweeping edict that would require any U.S. peace officer discharging a weapon against a suspect to be of the same ethnic group as the suspect. At the time of Holder’s announcement, the pronunciamento was a fait accompli, as President Obama had privately birthed the requirement via executive action during his brief return to the capital on Monday....
  • Today's Toons 8/21/14

    08/21/2014 1:11:28 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 18 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/21/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • 'SNL' Political Secrets Revealed: Hillary's "Entitlement," the Sketch Obama Killed, etc.

    08/20/2014 9:10:08 AM PDT · by LRoggy · 33 replies
    Hollywood Reporter ^ | 8/20/14 | Tom Shales and James Miller
    In an exclusive book excerpt, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and even Sarah Palin recount the inner battle between the left and right This story first appeared in the Aug. 29 issue of The Hollywood Reporter magazine. From Chevy Chase's bumbling commander in chief to Tina Fey's dim-witted veep wannabe, political satire always has been a part of Saturday Night Live. And over its 39 seasons, actual politicians have clamored to be in on the joke. President Ford, running for a second term against a peanut farmer named Jimmy Carter, appeared on the show's very first season, in April 1976, to...
  • Freeper Fun: Type a sentence that wouldn't have made sense 10 years ago ...

    08/20/2014 8:11:36 AM PDT · by Heartlander · 77 replies
    yelp ^ | Misc
    From Yelp: Google is evil, Apple is a monopoly, and Microsoft is the underdog Skype you later! I've got Angry Birds on my phone. I finally got my blu-ray to stream netflix! Can I see your gluten free menu? She keeps twittering me, so I friended her. I hope she's got Bluetooth." That's gonna go on youtube.
  • In dark moments, one does need a hint of laughter to stave off the insanity and depression.

    08/20/2014 8:05:31 AM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 5 replies
    Youtube ^ | Nov 8 2009 | R Wyatt
    Just wanted to lift the spirit of fellow freepers, if only for a moment.
  • Politics: Enjoy this 'greatest hits' compilation of Nancy Pelosi's most incoherent ramblings

    08/20/2014 3:57:22 AM PDT · by Morgana · 8 replies
    CainTV ^ | Herman Cain
    So much crazy packed into three minutes! Sure. We've all heard Nancy Pelosi say something kooky. Practically every time she steps up to a microphone something ridiculous flops out of her mouth, so her crackpot ramblings aren't really shocking anymore. It's pretty much a mathematical certainty that - by now - you've heard her say something incredibly stupid. However, you usually access Pelosi's bizarre behavior in dribs and drabs. You get a sentence here, a phrase there, or an awkward stare every now and then. It's enough to tell you something's wrong, but it doesn't really portray the full, magnificent,...
  • Today's Toons 8/20/14

    08/20/2014 1:15:13 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/20/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Chris Rock - How not to get your butt kicked by the police!

    08/19/2014 2:58:52 PM PDT · by grundle · 14 replies
    YouTube ^ | Chris Rock
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR465HoCWFQ
  • The Universal Crazy - Hot Matrix

    08/19/2014 2:52:24 PM PDT · by kjam22 · 6 replies
    Youtube ^ | 8-19-2014 | Kjam22
    Thought this was pretty funny. I don't believe its made it's way around here. It's Tuesday humor and this is worth watching! Crazy Hot Matrix
  • Why John Oliver is wrong about native advertising

    08/19/2014 6:40:25 AM PDT · by ensignsj · 15 replies
    Strategy Online ^ | 8/18/14 | Scott Ensign
    Comedian John Oliver recently took an admittedly pretty funny shot at the concept of native advertising. His basic point was that the blurring lines between objective content and marketing pieces threatens journalistic integrity and consumer trust in the media. Now, I find Oliver to be a funny and talented guy, and he’s done some spot-on stuff (particularly his most famous piece on net neutrality). However, on this topic, he’s really off-base. Native advertising is everywhere, and all signs point to it becoming even more ubiquitous, particularly as news outlets try to come up with meaningful business models for their online...
  • Today's Toons 8/19/14

    08/19/2014 1:23:10 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/19/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Missouri National Guard limited to tee shirts, shorts, and water guns in response to Ferguson riots

    08/18/2014 5:16:16 PM PDT · by orwell2112 · 16 replies
    thoughtgrime.com ^ | August 18, 2014 | Sisyphus
    FERGUSON, Mo. (TG) –Missouri Governor Jay Nixon has ordered the National Guard to assist with peacekeeping efforts in Ferguson, the troubled St. Louis suburb that has been ravaged by more than a week of violent protests in reaction to the August 9 police shooting of hometown youth Michael Brown. However, in the latest effort to appease protesters, the Guard will be issued special matériel designed to portray a kinder, gentler law enforcement presence. “Folks out there want to exercise their rights and throw bricks, bottles, and maybe fire off the odd round at law enforcement, and they get frustrated when...
  • Obama eating a snow cone

    08/18/2014 3:52:11 PM PDT · by Dacula · 30 replies
    http://imgur.com/gallery/YE2ZSQX We all knew he had a big mouth.
  • Outrage over gossip mag’s free gay joke book (Italy)

    08/18/2014 1:04:15 PM PDT · by Olog-hai · 9 replies
    TheLocal,it ^ | 18 Aug 2014 11:45 GMT+02:00
    An Italian gossip magazine has sparked outrage after its latest edition was released with a free book containing jokes about gay people. The controversial giveaway, entitled “The Best Gay Jokes”, was attached to the latest edition of the weekly Italian gossip magazine Visto, La Stampa reported. Published in 2012 and ordinarily priced at €4.99, the book is part of a joke book series which also includes sexist jokes and jokes about Jews by Jews, among other taboo subjects. …
  • Today's Toons 8/18/14

    08/18/2014 1:14:44 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 8/18/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Ferguson Looting Said to Be Fitting Tribute to Michael Brown

    The emergence of a convenience store security video tape of Michael Brown roughing up the shopkeeper and stealing boxes of cigars was said to vindicate the looting rampage that followed his being shot by police. “All those stuffed shirts saying that our robbing stores was an inappropriate expression of our anger and grief were dead wrong,” asserted a self-identified looter who says her name is Jihadena. “One of the last things Michael did before he was gunned down was rob a store. We're just doing the work he no longer can do. What could be a more fitting tribute to...
  • Welcome to a World Where Alcohol Labels Tell the Truth

    08/15/2014 11:13:20 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 4 replies
    Metro UK ^ | Thursday 14 Aug 2014
    It’s a truth universally acknowledged that alcohol does bad things to good people. The results of which have never been made clearer than by these altered alcohol bottle labels. Question their accuracy. Go on, we dare you. True story. True, true story. If only your frenemy hadn’t recorded the evidence. Anyone care to fill us in on what happened? Anyone? Literally everywhere. The reason our phone is full of selfies with a stranger and the toilet attendant. We didn’t eat dinner so it doesn’t count. In your face. NOOOOO.
  • (YouTube)DFU POLIMERICK MINUTE: Al Gore Sues Al Jazeera

    08/15/2014 2:57:17 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 8 replies
    dfu via youtube ^ | 8-15-14 | dfu
    BWAHAHAHAHA - Al Gore Sues Al Jazeera
  • ***The Official Friday Silliness Thread***

    08/15/2014 5:27:17 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 80 replies
    Relaxation Day When : August 15th Relaxation Day is a day to kick back and do nothing. Ahhhh! What a great day. The stresses, the hustle and bustle seemingly consumes us, every day of the year. Even Sundays are no longer days of rest and relaxation. There never seems to be a day to just kick back and relax.  For those us with a hectic lifestyle, Relaxation Day is a day to look forward to. It provides a break from the madness of your busy work and personal schedule. Todays is the day to enjoy either doing absolutely nothing,...
  • Today's Toons 8/15/14

    08/15/2014 1:23:35 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 8/15/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • (YouTube)DFU POLIMERICK MINUTE: Gay Wedding Math

    08/14/2014 8:55:52 PM PDT · by doug from upland
    dfu via youtube ^ | 8-14-14 | dfu
    GAY MARRIAGE MATH in graphics and limerick
  • The return of Coach Lasso: NBC Sports Premier League Film Featuring Jason Sudeikis

    08/14/2014 5:13:21 PM PDT · by 1rudeboy · 8 replies
    YouTube ^ | August 7, 2014 | NBC
    After being fired by Tottenham Hotspur, Coach Lasso (Jason Sudeikis) is back in the US-of-A, looking to make the most of his Premier League experience. Watch the Premier League on NBC and NBCSN starting Saturday, August 16th. For more:http://twitter.com/NBCSportsSoccerhttp://facebook.com/NBCSportsSoccer
  • Original Obama Dance Photo Leaked

    08/14/2014 10:39:46 AM PDT · by MeshugeMikey · 95 replies
    MeshugeMikey | August 14, 2014 | MeshugeMikey
  • Today's Toons 8/14/14

    08/14/2014 1:25:29 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/14/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • (YouTube)DFU POLIMERICK MINUTE: Hillary at the Beach

    08/13/2014 9:40:32 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 2 replies
    dfu via youtube ^ | 8-13-14 | dfu
    HILLARY AT THE BEACH - graphics and limerick
  • Murder Suspect Asks Siri Where to Dump His Dead Roommate's Body

    08/13/2014 3:54:26 PM PDT · by eldoradude · 23 replies
    Betabeat ^ | 8/13/14 | Jordan Valinsky
    Who says Siri is useless? A Florida man accused of killing his roommate found a novel use for Siri. Police say 20-year-old Pedro Bravo allegedly kidnapped and strangled his friend in 2012, but didn’t know where to dispose of the body — that was, until Siri helped him out. According to his iPhone’s records, Mr. Bravo allegedly asked Siri “I need to hide my roommate.” The personal assistant app kindly responded by asking “What kind of place are you looking for?” and then offered him four ideal places, including metal foundries, dumps, swamps and reservoirs.
  • Robin Williams: Bay Area made him feel normal

    08/13/2014 1:54:17 PM PDT · by Olog-hai · 42 replies
    Associated Press ^ | Aug 13, 2014 2:41 PM EDT | Ellen Knickmeyer
    Robin Williams was everywhere in San Francisco, it seemed, as he made a place for himself in the everyday fabric of a city where he once said he passed for normal. The comedian was there to usher a few fellow inhabitants of the Bay Area into life—visiting a pediatric ward, unheralded, each year on Christmas Day to welcome newborns to the world. He also ushered friends out of life—delivering a boisterous eulogy for an iconic local journalist known as Mr. San Francisco, musing on heaven as a nice bar in the city with a dry martini. …
  • illions of Americans shocked to learn that actor Robin Williams sometimes acted

    08/13/2014 4:56:24 AM PDT · by orwell2112 · 17 replies
    Thoughtgrime ^ | August 12, 2014 | Sisyphus
    ATLANTA — (TG) In the wake of comedic-actor-turned-suicide-victim Robin Williams’ death yesterday, millions of his fans are in self-professed shock, agonizing over how a career funnyman could do the unthinkable. “He was always smiling, he was crazy funny,” gushed Brittney Bouncer, a 19-year-old who has been a fan of Williams “my entire life.” “What was wrong with him?” read one of the 20-something’s Twitter posts, uncharacteristically subdued and nestled between hookup arrangements, analyses of diet energy drinks, and stream-of-consciousness observations about last night’s “The Daily Show.” “No question he had a lot of personalities,” allowed Bruce Devine, a theater manager...
  • Today's Toons 8/13/14

    08/13/2014 3:43:07 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/13/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • San Francisco Zoo Names Howler Monkey for Robin Williams

    08/12/2014 3:03:42 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 13 replies
    NBC Bay Area ^ | Tuesday, Aug 12, 2014 | Lisa Fernandez
    Robin Williams was known for making his audiences howl. That belly-laughing spirit is behind Williams' namesake at the San Francisco Zoo, which named a Howler monkey after the comedian in June. "He's been such a friend and zoo supporter," zoo spokesman Danny Latham said on Tuesday. Williams helped an auctioneer raise money for the zoo last year, and Executive Director Tanya M. Peterson wanted to thank him with the monkey honor before his visit there two months ago. She picked the Howler, Latham said, because it was "loud and hairy," which Williams identified with "almost immediately." The zoo posted a...
  • Photo via Imgur: "This is how I'll always remember Mr. Williams!..."

    08/12/2014 1:19:40 PM PDT · by beaversmom · 5 replies
    Reddit via Imgur ^ | August 12, 2014 | Contest Loser
    Imgur link
  • “Man Dies, Mourned Only by Strippers”(ROBIN WILLIAMS /LOIS CK)

    08/12/2014 11:37:43 AM PDT · by woofie · 37 replies
    SLATE ^ | August 2 | David Haglund
    Everyone knows that whenever Robin Williams plays a serious role, he sports a beard. So when the stand-up-turned-Oscar-winner walked, bewhiskered, into a black-and-white shot of a graveyard, I figured within minutes Williams would be hugging C.K. and saying, “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” But of course that’s not what happened. The solemnity of that wordless opening scene was punctured in—where else, this being Louie—a diner, where Louie tells Robin that the deceased “was the biggest piece of (expetive deleted) I ever knew.” Big bearded guffaws follow, and soon the two are trading awful stories about Barney Ross,...
  • Wingsuit Flyer meets his maker

    Its unbelievable what these guys will try
  • WATCH: Obama Repeatedly Takes The Credit For Ending War In Iraq, But Later Denies Responsibility

    08/11/2014 9:07:13 PM PDT · by Ray76 · 18 replies
    Western Journalism ^ | Aug 11, 2014
    During his campaign address in 2012, Obama drew applause every time he announced “I promised to end the war in Iraq, and I did.” Yet, it seems he has changed his position and has chosen to re-write history.
  • Today's Toons 8/12/14

    08/12/2014 1:16:01 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 24 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/12/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • At Martha's Vineyard, Obama complains about Cold Ocean

    08/11/2014 7:58:45 PM PDT · by logi_cal869 · 45 replies
    Breitbart ^ | 8/11/2014 | Charlie Spiering
    "I found, as somebody from Hawaii, the water is still a little cold."
  • HeyJackass!-Illustrating Chicago Values

    08/11/2014 1:58:05 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 5 replies
    heyjackass.com ^ | 2014 | heyjackass
    *Source Data & Editor’s Note We compile our own dataset using the following sources: Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, DNAInfo Chicago, Chicago Redeye Homicide Tracker, NBC5 Chicago, City of Chicago Data Portal and CPD CLEARMAP. Editor’s note: A homicide, regardless of type, within the city limits of Chicago counts towards our total metric. CPD-involved, ISP-involved and justifiable homicides all count. Reckless homicides may count if the Medical Examiner rules that the cause of death was a homicide. Suicides do not count. Additional definitions can be found on the Glossary page.
  • Dogs joyriding in the summer

    08/11/2014 7:15:34 AM PDT · by Twotone · 17 replies
    Wimp.com ^ | Unknown | NA
    If there's one thing dogs love, it's going on car rides together with their best human buddy. There's something about dog ears flapping in the wind that makes car rides seem like total relaxation time for them. Plus wind going in their mouths is hilarious.
  • Today's Toons 8/11/14

    08/11/2014 1:20:50 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 20 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 8/11/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Hundred Foot Journey Debuts.Anyone Have Any Box Office Results?Has Anyone Seen It?

    08/09/2014 8:53:38 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 45 replies
    By tomorrow night we should have the weekend tally's of the top 5 movies.We can only hope that Oprah's Foot Long Subway Sandwich opens at 6th or 7th place and stays there!And what is with all of the phony compliments in the promo's?Really?Critics are using terms like "Mouthwatering & Delicious"?Do they really think that we are all birdbrains and blockheads?What other movies are opening this weekend?There has to be at least three better choices.
  • From The Redskins,To "Ole Miss".What Will Be The Next Racial Slur?"Watermelon?

    08/09/2014 6:52:39 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 33 replies
    Will the radical left ever call it quits on finding new racial slurs?There is nothing racist in regards to the Washington Redskins,nothing racist regarding "Redskin Potatoes".Sooner or later Harry Reid and his kool-aid drinking minions will eventually declare that Watermelons are racists!This would mean that the "Patent Watermelon"name will have to be changed.So what will be the future name for watermelons?White Hispanic Melon?Mississippi Melon?The Melon formerly known as Watermelon?
  • The Bizarre Life (and Death) of "Mr. Organic"

    08/09/2014 11:45:44 AM PDT · by Scoutmaster · 37 replies
    New Republic ^ | August 8, 2014 | Maria McGrath
    J.I. Rodale, the godfather of the locavore trend, was a paranoid anti-vaxxer, tooOn June 7, 1971, Jerome Irving Rodale appeared on "The Dick Cavett Show." The elder statesman of a growing organic food trend, he gushed about the health benefits of his diet, boasting that he “never felt better” and that he “decided to live to a hundred.” But after a commercial break, as Cavett interviewed his second guest, what sounded like a loud snore rose from Rodale’s end of the couch. The audience twittered, thinking that he was pulling a prank. But Cavett knew. When he looked over at...
  • Republicans Reveal New Exotic Retreat in Iceland

    08/09/2014 10:18:02 AM PDT · by OneVike · 11 replies
    I just shocked the MSM hasn't reported on this yet. After all, the way they writeheadlines to mislead people, it's a story just waiting for MSNBC to jump all over.
  • MINNESOTA CAFE CHARGES “MINIMUM WAGE FEE,” LIBERALS OUTRAGED

    08/08/2014 11:46:18 PM PDT · by right-wing agnostic · 42 replies
    Powerline Blog ^ | August 7, 2014 | John Hinderaker
    This is currently the most-read story on the Minneapolis Star Tribune’s web site: “Stillwater cafe faces heat for adding ‘minimum wage fee’ to tab.” Minnesota’s Democratic legislature recently voted to raise the state’s minimum wage to $8 an hour, 75 cents more than the federal level. Naturally, that increase is leading to higher prices: A small cafe in Stillwater has thrown itself into the big battle over Minnesota’s minimum wage increases, inundating the cafe with dozens of phone calls and online comments this week after it tacked on a 35-cent fee to meal tabs. Oasis Cafe owner Craig Beemer said...
  • Funny joke

    08/08/2014 4:03:22 PM PDT · by grundle · 9 replies
    author unknown
    Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a #$%$.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the...
  • Your Daily Dose Of Cutness

    08/08/2014 1:45:44 PM PDT · by mountn man · 27 replies
    Youtube ^ | CutiesNFuzzies
    Youtube-Porcupine Who Thinks He's A Puppy
  • Sobelman's has introduced the "Chicken Fried Bloody Beast."

    08/08/2014 1:43:48 PM PDT · by VRW Conspirator · 12 replies
    UPI ^ | 08/08/2014 | Evan Bleier
    Milwaukee bar starts serving epic Bloody Mary that comes topped with entire fried chicken. MILWAUKEE, Aug. 7 (UPI) -- Apparently topping a massive Bloody Mary with a bacon cheeseburger slider just wasn't enough for a Milwaukee bar. After gaining some notoriety for their burger-topped drink, "'The Bloody Masterpiece," Sobelman's has decided to raise the beverage bar once again. The establishment has introduced a new drink, "Chicken Fried Bloody Beast," that features all the same garnishes -- cheese, sausage, pickles, olives, onions, mushrooms, asparagus, scallions, shrimp, lemon, Brussels sprouts, tomatoes, celery -- as the Masterpiece. However, the Beast is also topped...
  • Thunderstruck - As you've never heard it before

    08/08/2014 11:20:52 AM PDT · by scouter · 25 replies
    YouTube ^ | Feb 18, 2014 | Luka Sulic and Stjepan Hauser
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT3SBzmDxGk&feature=player_embedded As Fr. Z says, "[t]his just goes to show that an instrument, a tool, is neutral. We choose to use them in certain ways."