Free Republic 3rd Quarter Fundraising Target: $88,000 Receipts & Pledges to-date: $76,948
Woo hoo!! And now over 87%!! Less than $11.1k to go!! Let's git 'er done!! Thank you all very much!!

Humor (General/Chat)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Man hospitalized after trying to take selfie with snake

    09/02/2015 4:44:43 AM PDT · by Enlightened1 · 17 replies
    CBS8 ^ | 08/26/15
    <p>AKE ELSINORE, Calif. (AP) — A Lake Elsinore man may have to lose his hand after he picked up a rattlesnake in order to take a selfie with it.</p> <p>KCBS-TV reports that 36-year-old Alex Gomez snatched up the snake Monday at his family's ranch. The snake bit his hand which swelled. His neighbor called 911 and he was transported to an area hospital.</p>
  • Today's Toons 9/2/15

    09/02/2015 1:21:38 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 7 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/2/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • No title - just funny

    09/01/2015 9:57:20 AM PDT · by nuconvert · 10 replies
  • Fast Food Worker Pulled By Her Hair Through Drive-Thru Window

    09/01/2015 7:41:52 AM PDT · by simpson96 · 34 replies
    The Smoking Gun ^ | 8/31/2015 | Staff
    A confrontation at a fast food restaurant ended with a worker being pulled by her hair through the drive-thru window, according to video that was just posted online. The clip, shot from the rear seat of an auto, shows the female driver exchanging words with the restaurant employee, who appears to be wearing a McDonald’s uniform. After the worker slides the order window open, a woman can be heard saying, “Come on, bitch.” Then the driver leans over and, after grabbing the employee’s hair, pulls her through the window. After striking the side of the vehicle, the victim crashes to...
  • Proposed TV Campaign Ad: "The Tortoise"

    09/01/2015 5:49:08 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 9 replies
    Self | September 1, 2015 | PJ-Comix
    I have an idea for a funny TV campaign ad about Jeb Bush. Below is the script and as you can see, it is easy to produce. It is a parody of the 1984 Reagan campaign ad "The Bear" which you can see HERE. My ad is called "The Tortoise" and is based on the fact that is how Jeb Bush refers to himself. It also references Donald Trump calling Jeb "low-energy." So here goes: [We see a tortoise crawling slowly through the woods.] NARRATOR: There is a tortoise in the woods. For some people, the tortoise is a big...
  • Today's Toons 9/1/15

    09/01/2015 1:19:33 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/1/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • UT Responds to Backlash over Pronoun Situation; "He" and "She" Banned Permanently (satire)

    08/31/2015 4:25:43 PM PDT · by Jim Hill · 9 replies
    The Tangerine ^ | August 31, 2015 | UTK Tangerine Staff
    After UT’s landmark decision last week to encourage students and faculty alike to use gender-neutral pronouns when referring to those who would prefer it, fear has reached critical capacity on Rocky Top. The masses fled to Facebook trying to figure out what UT was playing at, sharing posts and articles completely misinterpreting the message of comfort and equality UT was trying to convey. Administration and the Office for Diversity and Inclusion have been swamped with what is arguably the worst PR nightmare on campus since the first Sex Week, so they have been forced to reach a decision to save...
  • How to give a Trump Speech in 12 Easy Steps (rebuttal)

    08/31/2015 11:48:02 AM PDT · by nikos1121 · 6 replies
    8/31/2015 | Nikos1121
    1. Arrive in a multi-million dollar helicopter, or buzz the stadium with your 757 before you land. 2. Have "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister blaring when you walk into the room. 3. Talk off the cuff without a teleprompter a make us laugh each time. 4. Stop in the middle of your talk to autograph a copy of your book Making The Deal. 5. Answer every question quickly and to the point regardless how silly or who asks it. 6. Be firm, be polite and regardless of what the press says or does, be cool. 7. Talk...
  • Vanity; Hey now were cooking with heat

    08/31/2015 11:16:46 AM PDT · by al baby · 23 replies
    Today | Self
    Hey we are back in bidness
  • A Few JibJab Videos for the Trump Supporters

    08/31/2015 6:18:53 AM PDT · by Heartlander · 12 replies
    JibJab ^ | 8-31-2015 | me
    A Few JibJab Videos for the Trump Supporters Unnecessary Force (The Donald takes matters in his own hands and knocks out his nemesis) Trump, Trump Baby (Trump shows off his moves with a little help from his friends) Night of the Living Democrats (Donald and Carly narrowly escape the Democrat zombies) You've been Trump Rolled! (David Grohl did it – now it’s Trump’s turn) DISCLAIMER: I am a Ted Cruz/Ben Carson supporter but I made these for my friends who can’t seem to get enough Trump…
  • Today's Toons 8/31/15

    08/31/2015 3:38:08 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 8/31/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Marine Asks Ronda Rousey to Marine Corps Ball: Watch Now!

    08/29/2015 2:13:35 PM PDT · by DUMBGRUNT · 80 replies
    eonline ^ | 28 Aug 2015 | JULIA HAYS
    Jarrod Haschert, a member of the United States Marine Corps, has shared a Facebook video asking the 28-year-old UFC bantamweight champion to be his date to a USMC Ball in December. In the video, which has racked up over 3.7M views so far, the soldier, who is stationed in North Carolina, says Rousey is his "celebrity crush."

    08/28/2015 5:54:59 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 70 replies
    Donald Trump‬ goes vogue‬ in his press conference. *** I love God. He's a builder. Made the world in 6 days. That's YUUUUUUUGE. I would have used more marble. But He did a nice job. #TrumpBible *** I have a lot of Jewish friends. Jesus is one of them. Great guy. Cherishes women. The blacks love him. The Hispanics love him. #TrumpBible *** "I'm gonna build a pyramid and I'm going to do it without letting your people go." #trumpbible *** "Jesus wasn't a martyr. He's a martyr because he was crucified. I like people that weren't crucified, ok I...
  • Today's Toons 8/28/15

    08/28/2015 1:23:24 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 8/28/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Not Feeling Well... Sick with PIST AWF

    08/27/2015 9:44:34 PM PDT · by hapnHal · 24 replies
    Aug 15 | hapnHal
    I am sorry that I have not been very responsive to post comments lately. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic White House Fatigue (PIST-AWF). For those of you who do not know what that is; PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that has been found to be widespread and highly contagious. January, 2015 – Doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing a new disease that has already infected over half of the United States and is anticipated to continue its...
  • The Planned Parenthood Song

    08/27/2015 8:09:52 PM PDT · by Morgana · 4 replies
    Dan Joseph YOUTUBE ^ | Aug 27, 2015 | Dan Joseph
    The Planned Parenthood Song VIDEO ONLY ON LINK
  • Liberals Don’t Like Hillary Because She’s Competent. They Like Her Because She’s A Stick In Our Eye

    08/27/2015 11:26:33 AM PDT · by BenLurkin · 19 replies ^ | Dennis Miller
    Obviously, many of our citizens (not I) cannot fathom how Hillary Clinton is even in there with a shot. Just from a silhouette perspective, a Rorschach, it’s hard for some to imagine Democrats feel that this is their best foot forward. The whole thing seems very old and tired at this point. As a matter of fact, between Hillary and Pelosi and Reid and Biden, the Democratic Star Chamber makes the cantina on Tatooine look like an IBM board meeting circa 1958. I on the other hand, get it. I don’t like it but I get it. She certainly isn’t...
  • The top ten most unexpected words added to the online Oxford dictionary

    08/27/2015 4:07:05 AM PDT · by markomalley · 18 replies
    The Telegraph ^ | 8/27/15 | Lucy Clarke-Billings
    The online Oxford dictionary has added 1,000 new words to its database. The latest additions have been announced, highlighting the things British people have been talking about in the summer of 2015, such as inconsiderate commuters, solidified waste and unacceptable service charges. Here are ten of the most unexpected words on the list: manspreading (noun): the practice whereby a man, especially one travelling on public transport, adopts a sitting position with his legs wide apart, in such a way as to encroach on an adjacent seat or seat awesomesauce (adjective): extremely good; excellent bants (noun): playfully teasing or mocking remarks...
  • Explosion destroys food truck, rocks Miami neighborhood

    08/27/2015 6:49:04 AM PDT · by McGruff · 19 replies
    CBS News ^ | August 27, 2015
    Lunch will not be served by a food truck in Southwest Miami-Dade after it was destroyed in a propane tank explosion. According to Miami-Dade Fire Rescue officials, the explosion was so powerful, some nearby homes suffered minor damage.
  • Today's Toons 8/27/15

    08/27/2015 1:19:31 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 24 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/27/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Architect Sought for Obama’s Presidential Library Complex

    08/26/2015 10:46:20 PM PDT · by garjog · 44 replies
    New York Times ^ | AUG. 26, 2015 | JULIE HIRSCHFELD DAVIS
    "The foundation overseeing the development of Barack Obama’s presidential library began a global competition on Wednesday to select the architect who will design the elaborate Chicago complex."
  • Dan Rather space shuttle prank call

    08/26/2015 9:14:05 PM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 5 replies
    CBS news ^ | Feb 1, 2003 | Dan Rather
    Prank call during dan rathers show when space shuttle columbia exploded. Guy calls his show saying piece of Columbia shuttle fell in his yard, and experts determined it was one of Babooey's teeth. Rather is a self-admitted idiot.
  • Welcome To Fantasy Island! An advance man points up as Trump's "plane" lands: The Plane! The Plane!

    08/26/2015 8:22:21 AM PDT · by Laissez-faire capitalist · 67 replies
    8/26/2015 | Laissez-Faire Capitalist
    "Welcome to Fantasy Island!" Wherever Trump's "plane" lands, that area becomes known (albeit temporarily) as "Fantasy Island," and an advance man for Trump points upward when Trump's "plane" is about to land and says, "The plane! The plane!" On [Trump's] Fantasy Island, everything is either false, an illusion, or is grounded in smoke and mirrors at best: [My favorites are #'s 3, 4, 5, 9 and 10] 1.) On Trump's Fantasy Island, Trump never repeats his talking points ad nauseam. 2.) On Trump's Fantasy Island, Ann Coulter speaks at a Trump rally and magically becomes a conservative! 3.) On Trump's...
  • Donald Trump Won't Be Our Next President Because He Doesn't Have a Beard

    08/26/2015 4:10:39 AM PDT · by uglybiker · 29 replies
    Paleofuture ^ | 8/12/15 | Matt Novak
    Donald Trump will not be our next president. Neither will Bernie Sanders, Jeb Bush, nor Hillary Clinton. How can I say this with such confidence? Because none of these people have beards. And that was supposed to be the style for US presidents by now. At least according to one random magazine from 1966. The November 1966 issue of The American Legion magazine proclaimed that the American president of 2016 would be sporting a beard. And yes, I know that the next president won’t be sworn in until January 2017, but we’re just going to assume that they meant...
  • Today's Toons 8/26/15

    08/26/2015 1:22:37 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/26/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Sarah Palin Spotted in California CVS Buying Reading Glasses

    08/25/2015 3:59:56 PM PDT · by McGruff · 36 replies
    Patheos ^ | August 25, 2015 | Bristol Palin
    So my mom – Sarah Palin — is out of her normal Alaska element and is guest hosting at One America News in California. Apparently, she forgot her glasses, because she was spotted at CVS getting three pairs of glasses for $14. What a deal! LOL!
  • Modern Capitalism Explained

    08/25/2015 2:29:41 PM PDT · by Swordmaker · 6 replies
    Humor | Unknown
    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AMERICAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by...
  • Caitlyn Jenner Halloween Costume Sparks Internet Outrage: ‘Disgraceful,’ ‘Transphobic’

    08/25/2015 1:41:29 PM PDT · by Sir Napsalot · 28 replies
    The Wrap ^ | 8-25-2015 | Joe Otterson
    Costume company Spirit Halloween is facing serious backlash after offering a Caitlyn Jenner costume in time for Halloween. The costume recreates Jenner’s look when she debuted as a woman on the cover of Vanity Fair in June, complete with shorts, a padded top, a wig, and a sash that reads, “Call Me Caitlyn.” Twitter blew with expressions of anger about the costume, with some calling it “disgraceful,” “hurtful,” and “transphobic.”
  • Hilarious video shows grizzly bear rolling down hill at Denali National Park

    08/25/2015 10:31:35 AM PDT · by jazusamo · 24 replies
    Fox News ^ | August 25, 2015
    Video at link. The video shows a close up of the bear as he stumbles then realizes that rolling down the hill was way more fun. (NPS) Chances of spotting bears in Alaska’s Denali National Park are not impossible, but pretty rare. So, what’s the chance you’d see a bear barrel rolling down a hill? A fun-loving grizzly playing up to the camera was captured on video enjoying himself in Denali National Park. In the background, tourists can be heard laughing amid the clicks of digital cameras. The video begins with a close up of the bear as he stumbles...
  • Cecil the Lion Killer Costume Severed Head Included

    08/25/2015 10:17:20 AM PDT · by BenLurkin · 14 replies
    The best "so bad it's good" Halloween costume contest is over ... because now you can dress up this year as Dr. Walter Palmer ... the dentist who killed beloved lion Cecil. The costume retails for $59.99 and includes a severed lion's head, a smock and gloves with fake blood spatter, and some dentist tools for the front pocket.
  • Today's Toons 8/25/15

    08/25/2015 1:35:26 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/25/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Freep a Poll!(Does Joe Biden have the brains to be president?)

    08/24/2015 4:34:57 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 61 replies ^ | 8-24-15 | Headline of the Day
    Does Joe Biden have the brains to be president? Yeah, he's a really smart guy. I don't know. No way. He has the IQ of a turnip.
  • Create Ashley Madison Excuses that Cheaters Can Tell Their Wives

    08/24/2015 4:16:02 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 58 replies
    Self | August 24, 2015 | PJ-Comix
    So let us perform a public service and create excuses that can be used by the Ashley Madison cheaters when they explain to their wives why their names were on the list. We already have one creative (and hilarious) excuse provided by Joe Biden's son, Hunter. So at #1 we have: 1. Honey, my name is on the Ashley Madison list so it must be America's enemies trying to discredit me. Next the "do you think I'm an idiot" excuse: 2. Honey, do you think I would be so stupid to sign up for a service where probably only 2...
  • VIDEO: Jeb Bush Releases Dynamic Campaign Song

    08/24/2015 12:37:36 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 40 replies
    YouTube ^ | August 24, 2015 | PJ-Comix
    Okay, I'm not a Jeb Bush supporter but I have to admit that his newly released campaign song, STILL ALIVE, will go a long way to reverse the perception of him as low energy. Watch HERE.
  • Today's Toons 8/24/15

    08/24/2015 1:17:51 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    Click on link.
  • Caitlyn Jenner Halloween Costume Coming To Retailers Near You

    08/23/2015 12:39:33 AM PDT · by nickcarraway · 35 replies
    Spirit Halloween has confirmed that they will be offering a Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume this year at their pop-up stores across America. However, not everyone likes the idea of the costume noting that it is disrespectful to the real-life struggles faced by the transgender community. Despite concerns from transgender equality groups, the Halloween retailer says that they will be releasing the controversial costume to “celebrate” Caitlyn Jenner’s accomplishments as a “real life superhero.” The Huffington Post reports that Spirit Halloween will be stocking their shelves with a new item this year that has many shaking their heads. The store has...
  • "Your Daddy Was Drunk And Your Mama Was Lonely (3rd mix)" - a country song by Yours Truly [vanity]

    08/22/2015 1:46:35 PM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 27 replies
    Me, via YouTube (as Hopalong Ginsberg) ^ | 8/22/15 | Me, as "Hopalong Ginsberg"
    This is the first song I recorded as Hopalong Ginsberg. Since I didn't make a lyrics video at the time, I decided to do so now, and to simultaneously take the opportunity to clean the mix up a bit. It's still pretty amateurish (1st song, remember?), but I think it gets the point across.I write and record my music under the nom de plume Hopalong Ginsberg. If I hang around the chem lab without protection, it becomes a nom de fume. For a free MP3 download of this song, click either here or here.
  • Do You Trust The liberal CNN/ORC polling outfit? How about Rasmussen, ABC News/WaPo or NBC News/WSJ?

    08/22/2015 12:24:48 PM PDT · by Laissez-faire capitalist · 77 replies
    8/22/2015 | Laissez-Faire Capitalist
    I was wondering why a polling outfit (CNN/ORC) is now all of a sudden trusted by conservatives? If not, then say so. If it is all of a sudden now trusted by conservatives...I thought that CNN is a liberal outfit and not to be trusted? Limbaugh seems to be going after CNN for their Morten Downey Jr. documentary on TV as somehow being used to juxtapose against Trump, and for their interviews of Trump supporters, and wondering if they are going to hand-pick the worst of the worst in those interviews to somehow paint all Trump supporters in a negative...
  • (Alleged) Footage Of Hillary's Email Scrubbing Strategy

    08/21/2015 6:38:25 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 13 replies
    you tube ^ | 8-11-15 | Tim Donovan
    Behind the scenes at Chappaqua: Hillary Clinton's "yoga routine emails" burned.
  • Suggestion for Trump Theme Music

    08/21/2015 9:35:57 AM PDT · by LonePalm · 74 replies
    LonePalm | 8/21/2015 | LonePalm
    I just had a great idea for Donald Trump theme music. Anchors Away!I'll see what I can do for a lyrics rewrite.

    08/21/2015 6:48:45 AM PDT · by NKP_Vet · 29 replies
    Ah, who can properly extol the virtues of that great mark of the male sex, the glorious and ineffable beard! From the beginning of time it has sprung forth from the chins of men, proclaiming the dignity and uniqueness of our kind. Long has it adorned prophets, kings, and holy men of old. Long has it filled the hearts of growing boys with ardor and with aspiration. Yet, despite its grandeur, history, and dignity, there are many who would deny men the honor of this great badge of male worth. Unkempt they call it; wild, they call it! Thus they...
  • Anything significant in it being 3.5 years into Obama's 2nd term?

    08/21/2015 6:06:16 AM PDT · by FreeAtlanta · 28 replies
    And the Sept. End of work prophecies? Just kidding... Sorta...

    08/21/2015 5:58:17 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 81 replies
    "FIRST REPUBLICAN DEBATE HIGHLIGHTS: 2015" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Republican Debate Today is Bill Clinton's birthday. Hillary sent Bill an e-birthday card and out of habit she immediately deleted it. ~ Conan*** Today, Hillary Clinton released an ad that emphasized her humble economic background. In the ad she says, "Just 15 years ago, my family and I were evicted from our house." ~ Conan***Jeb Bush cheated on his diet and had a fried Snickers bar, pork on a stick, and a beer. Jeb Bush said he ate it so at least he could see some of his...
  • Today's Toons 8/21/15

    08/21/2015 3:41:15 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 16 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 8/21/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Michelle Obama to remodel-rename historical Lincoln bedroom as ‘Obama suite’ (satire)

    08/20/2015 8:05:46 PM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 5 replies
    As Barack Obama’s Presidential run comes to an end Michelle has plans to gut, remodel and rename the historical Lincoln Bedroom to “The Obama Suite” in a bid to create a lasting legacy for her husbands Presidential Tenure.Future Obama Suite that will replace the Lincoln Bedroom Three contractors Have placed a bid on Michelle Obama’s plan. One is from Chicago, another is from the District of Columbia, and the third is from Mexico. All three have gone to the White House to examine the room and blue prints.The D.C. contractor took out a tape measure and did some measuring, then worked some figures...
  • "Cheese" - a heavy metal song, by Yours Truly [vanity]

    08/20/2015 12:34:59 PM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 25 replies
    Me, via YouTube (as Hopalong Ginsberg) ^ | 8/20/15 | Me, as "Hopalong Ginsberg"
    Yes, this a death metal / black metal song about cheese. I really don't know what I can add to that. I write and record my music under the stage name Hopalong Ginsberg. I do not write it under duress, but sometimes it sounds like it. For a free MP3 download of "Cheese" click either here or here.
  • Limberbutt McCubbins, cat running for President, praises fellow hopeful...

    08/20/2015 11:23:31 AM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 38 replies
    New York Daily News ^ | August 20, 2015 | Meg Warner
  • Today's Toons 8/20/15

    08/20/2015 1:15:19 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/20/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Bad Lip Reading does the first Republican debate! (video at link)

    08/19/2015 2:47:46 PM PDT · by PoloSec · 7 replies
    The Right Scoop ^ | 8/19/15 | The Right Scoop
    Must see video at link it is hilarious a break in the intensity of politics...
  • Hamas arrests dolphin accused of being an Israeli spy

    08/19/2015 7:16:25 AM PDT · by DUMBGRUNT · 45 replies
    The Week ^ | 19 Aug 2015 | Jeva Lange
    ANIMAL ESPIONAGE Hamas arrests dolphin accused of being an Israeli spy Israel is so often accused of animal espionage that an entire "Israel-related animal conspiracy theories" Wikipedia page exists.