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Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Ivanka Trump Splits Sunday Between Governor's Ball, Monster Truck Jam (best first daughter ever!)

    02/27/2017 5:28:28 PM PST · by drewh · 12 replies
    AOL News ^ | Feb 27th 2017 7:41 | Christina Gregg
    In another display of her incredible ability to juggle parenting and White House life, President Trump's eldest daughter hit two very different events on Sunday. Ivanka Trump has used social media as a window into her family life since her father's 2016 election win, offering the American public a look at her day-to-day activities with husband Jared Kushner and their three children -- Arabella, Joseph and Theodore. Ivanka Trump posted to Twitter on Sunday that she had taken her kids to a "Monster Jam" event in the Washington area. "Epic first Monster Truck show with the kids!," Ivanka Trump wrote....
  • When Russians hack the Oscars … jaw-dropping chaos after wrong best picture award was given!

    02/27/2017 9:20:21 AM PST · by Navy Patriot · 38 replies
    BizPac Review ^ | February 27, 2017 | Samantha Chang
    The Russians did it! That’s probably what liberal media would be shrieking if the epic Oscars gaffe had not been captured on live TV. After spending two hours needling President Trump, Hollywood got egg on its face bigly after the wrong winner was announced for best picture. The bizarre turn of events unfolded when Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway were presenting the Academy Award for best picture. Beatty was handed an envelope that was supposed to contain the winner.
  • My Own Personal "Oscars" Horror Story

    02/27/2017 8:45:34 AM PST · by Scarpetta · 9 replies
    February 27, 2017 | Scarpetta
    Completely screwing up the most important announcement at the Academy Awards ceremony might seem monumental to some. But I have a story far more harrowing, if not completely self-serving and inconsequential in scope.
  • Monday Memos

    02/27/2017 6:09:39 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 6 replies
    unknown | 2/27/2017 | self
    Older than dirt? Then you just have to appreciate this one. Young people forget that we old people had a career before we retired... Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies. One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up...
  • Today's Toons 2/27/17

    02/27/2017 3:31:10 AM PST · by pookie18 · 18 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 2/27/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • California Senator Silenced for Disrespecting Tom Hayden [fake-satire]

    02/26/2017 12:09:46 PM PST · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 26 Feb 2017 | John Semmens
    After the California legislature memorialized former State Senator Tom Hayden, who died last October, Sen. Janet Nguyen (R-Garden Grove) attempted to offer another perspective on the former 1960s radical anti-war agitator. Presiding Sen. Ricardo Lara (D-Bell Gardens) ordered her to shut up and when she wouldn't, had her physically removed from the senate chamber. "I realize that many of the senators who honored the late Sen. Hayden may have been ignorant of his role in prolonging the Vietnam War and enabling the Communists to kill millions of my former countrymen," Nguyen said. "Rather than let his misdeeds go down the...
  • Bolivia Assures It Will “Demolish” Chile in Dispute at International Court

    02/26/2017 10:47:47 AM PST · by fella · 19 replies
    Panam Post ^ | 23 Feb 2017 | David Unsworth
    Bolivia’s President Evo Morales said that the legal team representing his country in the maritime trial at the International Court in The Hague is prepared to “demolish” Chile’s arguments. In mid-February, Morales met in the Netherlands with his team of international lawyers due to the need to prepare a response to the impending Chilean counter-suit. On Wednesday, at a press conference, the president said that “The meeting was to review details for our legal defense based upon historical, legal, and technical issues and, above all, a proposal to demolish the Chilean counter-suit.” Legal arguments will be presented by attorney Eduardo Rodríguez...
  • Lighten the Load

    02/26/2017 6:17:15 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 6 replies
    unknown | 2/26/2017 | self
    A lighter moment. Enjoy. A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER THAT READ: "We will heel you We will save your sole We will even dye for you."? AT AN OPTOMETRIST’S OFFICE: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." ? ON A PLUMBER’S TRUCK: "We repair what your husband fixed.” ?? On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."? On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”? At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment." ?...
  • Montana Governor Blocks Right to Bear Arms [fake-satire]

    02/25/2017 3:47:42 PM PST · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 26 Feb 2017 | John Semmens
    Montana Governor Steve Bullock (D) vetoed legislation that would have made the state a “Constitutional carry” state. That is, individuals would be permitted to exercise their right to bear arms as defined in the US Constitution’s Second Amendment without having to obtain state or local government permission to do so. In his veto message, Bullock declared that “the idea that an individual is qualified to determine whether he needs to carry a firearm is absurd. Selfish concern for self-preservation at the expense of broader social goals must not derail sensible gun control. Right now, far too many people have guns....
  • 'Batman vs Superman,' 'Hillary's America' Win The Golden Rasberry For 'Worst' Films of 2016

    02/25/2017 9:37:33 AM PST · by drewh · 39 replies
    Reuters ^ | Sat Feb 25, 2017 | 10:02am EST
    <p>A documentary criticizing U.S. Democratic presidential contender Hillary Clinton tied on Saturday with superhero ensemble "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" on a list of the year's worst achievements in film, winning four Razzies apiece.</p> <p>The annual tongue-in-cheek Razzie awards, which serve as an antidote to Hollywood's Oscars ceremony, named Dinesh D'Souza's "Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party" as the worst film of 2016.</p>
  • Lighten the Load

    02/25/2017 5:44:43 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 23 replies
    unknown | 2/25/2017 | self
    Misinterpreting the Words When my twin daughters were young, I taught them to say this prayer before going to bed. As I listened outside their door, I could hear them say, "Give us this steak and daily bread, and forgive us our mattresses." My husband and I always had a good laugh over this. That was over 50 years ago, and the memory still remains in my heart. Groton, Mass. My mother spent her early childhood saying, "Hail Mary, full of grapes" Missoula, Mont. My son, who is in nursery school, said, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, how didja...

    02/24/2017 4:42:47 AM PST · by Lucky9teen · 72 replies
    National Tortilla Chip Day Date When Celebrated : Always February 24 Today is a holiday with a crunch. One might even suggest that it is a corny holiday. Well, that's okay because today is National Tortilla Chip Day. Just a few decades ago, Americans seldom ate Corn Chips and Salsa. It's popularity has grown immensely. Today is a tribute to that rising popularity of one of America's favorite munchies. Did you know? The corn chip recipe was brought to the U.S. from Mexico by texas businessman Elmer Doolin.  Celebrate National Tortilla Chip Day with a handful of crunchy, tasty...
  • Today's Toons 2/24/17

    02/24/2017 3:42:08 AM PST · by pookie18 · 14 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 2/24/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Comedian Lenny Schultz Still Bringing the Laughs at 83

    02/23/2017 9:16:03 PM PST · by nickcarraway · 4 replies
    NBC Miami ^ | 2/23 | Ari Odzer
    He’s 83 now, and doesn’t look all that familiar, until you hear his schtick. Growling like a dog, clucking like a chicken, whirring like a helicopter, it all comes out of Lenny Schultz. It all comes back to you if you’re old enough to remember television from the late 1960’s through the 70’s, and you recognize the man as a living, breathing comedy legend. "They would go nuts, the people, it was very hard to follow my act because I’m doing silly and crazy things," Schultz said, reminiscing about his glory days. "That was my reputation, unique and different and...
  • Vanity

    02/23/2017 12:32:09 PM PST · by al baby · 14 replies
    Today | Self
    Ok if Trump builds the wall would Danica Patrick crash into it ?
  • President Trump Has Lunch With The Pope

    02/23/2017 10:26:03 AM PST · by EveningStar · 15 replies
    President Trump invited the Pope for lunch on his mega yacht, the Pope accepted and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the Pontiff's hat off, right into the water. It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated in place. The crew and the secret service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Trump waved them off, saying "Never mind, boys, I'll get it." The Donald climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed...
  • Today's Toons 2/23/17

    02/23/2017 3:49:38 AM PST · by pookie18 · 16 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 2/23/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • ESPN Sued for Social Justice Warrior Stupidity - Bias Against Conservatives

    02/22/2017 7:07:26 AM PST · by tony75034 · 17 replies ^ | 2/22/2017 | Lord of All Editors
    An ESPN commentator is suing the network for wrongful termination after they fired him for supposedly calling Venus Williams a "Gorilla," which he didn't. Media analyst Mark Dice has the story. ESPN doesn't know the difference between 'Guerilla warfare' and the word 'Gorilla.' Now they will lose $ - good!. Second video has Crowder interviewing another ESPN guy fired for PC, Curt Schilling Going Off on ESPN and #SJWs!
  • Mother sends care packages full of trash to college son

    02/22/2017 4:51:09 AM PST · by Daffynition · 44 replies ^ | Feb 21, 2017 | staff reporter
    NEW WILMINGTON, Pa. When Westminster College student Connor Cox received a pair of care packages from his mother he expected to find cookies. Instead, Cox found the box was full of empty soda cans, used tissues and other trash. Confused, he opened the second box and found even more trash inside.
  • Today's Toons 2/22/17

    02/22/2017 3:28:22 AM PST · by pookie18 · 21 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 2/22/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Was ‘Weird Al’ the real star all along?

    02/21/2017 2:35:13 PM PST · by billorites · 73 replies
    Washington Post ^ | February 16, 2017 | Geoff Edgers
    LOS ANGELES — One day last summer, Lin-Manuel Miranda, on break from “Hamilton,” stopped by neighbor Jimmy Fallon’s house in the Hamptons. They both love music and Fallon has a listening room in the basement, so it wasn’t long before they were downstairs sharing another passion: “Weird Al” Yankovic. “I said, ‘Do you know “Polka Party!”?’ ” Fallon says. “He’s like, ‘Oh my gosh, I know it word for word.’ ” Fallon threw Yankovic’s 1986 record on the turntable, and the Broadway phenomenon and the late-night TV star sang along to an accordion-driven medley that covers 12 songs in three minutes, from...
  • Cyclist girl gets revenge on catcalling van drivers (video)

    02/21/2017 11:56:51 AM PST · by lowbridge · 50 replies
    Live Leak ^ | February 21, 2017
  • Today's Toons 2/21/17

    02/21/2017 3:26:11 AM PST · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 2/21/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Let's lighten the load.

    02/20/2017 9:36:14 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 3 replies
    multiple | 2/20/2017 | unknown
    A variety for your enjoyment.
  • Today's Toons 2/20/17

    02/20/2017 4:06:48 AM PST · by pookie18 · 14 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 2/20/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Oroville Dam Reviews

    02/19/2017 5:41:37 PM PST · by exDemMom · 46 replies
    Google Maps ^ | Variable dates | Multiple authors
    "Pretty, but not very solid. Cement walls could be higher/more reliable. C'mon dam, you had one job."--Noah Lantz, one star "I here the spillway is great right now for white water rafting. Watch out for street poles down stream though"--David Lansing, five stars "I give this dam 5 stars, because it's a shining beacon of the kind of California doctrine that they want for the rest of the country!"--Richard Howell, five stars "Dam does a great job at showcasing American ingenuity, the advances we have collectively made in water management, materials science, and our fundamentally negligent attitudes towards maintenance and...
  • Trapped In Donald Trump’s Brain (Maureen Dowd Insane Psycho-Babble Alert!)

    02/19/2017 4:15:09 PM PST · by drewh · 37 replies
    The Old Gray Hooker ^ | 2.18.17 | modo birdie
    WASHINGTON — Donald Trump is stuck in his own skull. “He lives inside his head, where he runs the same continuous loop of conflict with people he turns into enemies for the purposes of his psychodrama,” says Trump biographer Michael D’Antonio. Because Trump holds Thor’s hammer, we must keep trying to figure out his aggrieved style of reasoning. So we’re stuck in Trump’s head with him.And the more Trump turns journalists into whipping boys and targets, the more he sounds like a dictator himself. “When Trump was a kid, he was obsessed with intimidating other boys,” D’Antonio says. “Prior to...
  • If Donald Trump gave the Gettysburg Address

    02/19/2017 7:29:05 AM PST · by IronJack · 66 replies
    Original ^ | 02/19/2017 | IronJack
    A … bunch of years ago … a whole bunch … the guys from England – they were great guys, these guys – they came from England and they made this country. They made it. From the ground up. And the country was conceived in liberty. As it should be. I love liberty. I was elected on liberty. And I’m going to restore it. I’m going to make liberty great again. And it was also dedicated to the idea that all men are created equal. Men and women. I did better than any other Republi