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Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Today's Toons 10/22/20

    10/22/2020 3:38:30 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 20 replies
    The Politics Forums ^ | 10/22/20 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Video Proof That Females Talk More Than Males

    10/21/2020 9:33:40 PM PDT · by OneVike · 17 replies
    OneVike FreeRepublic Blog ^ | 10/21/20 | Chuck Ness
     by Chuck NessEver here the joke about the husband who was looking through the paper when he came upon a study that said women use more words than men? There was a married man who read in a magazine that, "Men use about 7000 words per day, but women use 20,000". Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results. The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband, "It’s because men never listen so we have...
  • Amazing: This Mind-Reader Can Instantly Guess People's Pronouns With 99.9% Accuracy

    10/21/2020 5:26:57 PM PDT · by Tolerance Sucks Rocks · 27 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | October 21, 2019 | The Babylon Bee
    What’s the first thing you do when meeting someone new? Exchange pronouns, of course, to make sure you refer to each other accurately. But what if you didn’t have to do that? Meet Earl Thornton. He has this amazing ability to guess people’s pronouns instantly -- just by looking at them. And he’s almost never wrong. “I don’t know, it just feels like I’ve always been able to do this,” said Thornton, who is very humble about his nearly supernatural ability. “I just look at somebody, and then before I can even think, I have their pronouns in my head.”
  • Town Hall Disaster As Trump Responds To Every Question With Passionate Kiss

    10/21/2020 5:17:40 PM PDT · by Tolerance Sucks Rocks · 3 replies
    The Babylone Bee ^ | October 16, 2020 | The Babylon Bee
    MIAMI, FL—Many in the media are calling the Trump town hall Thursday a "super spreader" event. They are saying this because they are hacks who hate everything the president does, and also because he made out with every audience member. Every time he was asked a question, Trump stood up, walked over to the undecided voter, and gave him a long, passionate kiss. "I love America, and I love you," Trump said in response to a question one voter asked about his pandemic response. "Come over here, you big lovebug. Muah! That's it. Right on the ol' smackers! Give Daddy...
  • Biden Suggests Stopping Criminals By Making Them Slip On Banana Peels

    10/21/2020 5:04:36 PM PDT · by Tolerance Sucks Rocks · 14 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | October 16, 2020 | The Babylon Bee
    WASHINGTON, D.C.—Joe Biden made a novel suggestion for cops and people who want to defend themselves against violent criminals: making them slip on a banana peel. "Look, Jack, if a criminal is running toward you, you don't have to shoot them," Biden said at last night's town hall on ABC. "All you have to do is pull out your trusty banana peel, throw it on the ground, and they'll slip. It's safe, humane, and hilarious." "Back in my day, cops didn't even have guns. They just dropped anvils on bad guys, littered rakes around them so they'd get smacked in...
  • Hunter Biden Quietly Takes Down ‘Meeting With My Dad’ Craigslist Ad

    10/21/2020 2:43:24 PM PDT · by Gamecock · 5 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 10/21/2020
    WILMINGTON, DE—As the furor over Hunter Biden's alleged corruption raged this week, several observers noted that a mysterious Craigslist ad had quietly disappeared from the site. The listing, titled "Meeting with my Dad," offered 1 hour of uninterrupted access to Joe Biden for only $50,000. "A real shame," said Russian entrepreneur Dimitri Stratiskoklanikov. "Fifty thousand US dollar, pretty good deal. Now I must gain audience old fashioned way. It's real shame." As of now it's unclear how many people responded to Hunter Biden's ad or how much money he made from arranging meetings. According to sources within the FBI, investigators...
  • Freeper musician needed (vanity)

    10/21/2020 2:01:13 PM PDT · by null and void · 20 replies
    The warped and distorted mind of nully | 10/21/20 | nully
    Perhaps someone can record a Biden song?: To the tune of “She’s Not There” by The Zombies [Verse1] No media told us about him The way he lied No media told us about him How many people died [Pre-Chorus] But CNN won’t say they’re sorry How would we know why should we care? Please don’t bother trying to find him He’s in the lair! [chorus] Let me tell you ‘bout the way he looks The way he gropes and the sniffing of her hair His voice is old and cracked His eyes are glazed and dull And he’s not there...
  • Today's Toons 10/21/20

    10/21/2020 1:41:05 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 21 replies
    The Politics Forums ^ | 10/21/20 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • NFL Live Thread: Week 7 (Boycott Party edition)

    10/20/2020 7:57:29 PM PDT · by Impy · 38 replies
    NFL LIVE THREAD WEEK 7 Here are all the games you shouldn't watch this week! New York Giants at Philadelphia Detroit at Atlanta Cleveland at Cincinnati Pittsburgh at Tennessee Carolina at New Orleans Buffalo at New York Jets Dallas at Washington Green Bay at Houston Seattle at Arizona Kansas City at Denver San Francisco at New England Jacksonville at Los Angeles Chargers Tampa Bay at Las Vegas Chicago at Los Angeles Rams Week 7 Bye Teams: Baltimore, Indianapolis, Miami, Minnesota I've still got nothing new on our FRiend Danny (Bender2) who is in rehab. Keep Prayin' for him!!!!
  • Why Twitter Censored the NY Post Article on Biden

    10/20/2020 4:07:25 PM PDT · by ShadowAce · 23 replies
    Youtube ^ | 20 October 2020 | AwakenWithJP
    Here are the reasons why Twitter censored the NY Post article about Hunter Biden's computer. All the emails, texts, and photos that incriminate Joe Biden deserve to be censored. Here's why, directly from Twitter.
  • Check Out These Eight Beautiful Travel Posters For America's Democrat-Controlled Cities

    10/20/2020 2:43:43 PM PDT · by Forgiven_Sinner · 34 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | October 19th, 2020 | Babylon Bee
    U.S.—With people leaving Democrat cities in droves, mayors and city councils are hoping to fill them back up again -- with tourists! Maybe it's time to give these cities a second chance. Check out these beautiful tourism posters from Democrat-controlled cities around the country! Portland Admire where the pedestals where the statues used to be.
  • Lesley Stahl of 60 Minutes not wearing a mask in the White House after her interview with me. Much more to come.

    10/20/2020 2:03:42 PM PDT · by ConservativeInPA · 34 replies
    Twitter @realDonaldTrump ^ | October 20, 2020 | President Donald J. Trump
    Video at Link: Lesley Stahl of 60 Minutes not wearing a mask in the White House after her interview with me. Much more to come.
  • Biden draws more online engagement as election draws near

    10/20/2020 9:41:48 AM PDT · by ChinaGotTheGoodsOnClinton · 36 replies
    Axios ^ | 10/20/2020 | Roschchild, Fischer
    New data from media intelligence company Conviva finds that Joe Biden has begun to draw more engagement per post on Twitter than President Trump. There's been a steady increase by Biden in the monthly averages of engagements per post, average engagements per video, and follower ads since the beginning of the year. This past month, Biden passed Trump in all three metrics. (The Conviva data only includes retweets and likes, not quote tweets.)
  • OJ calls out Jeffrey Toobin (my vanity title)

    10/20/2020 8:51:30 AM PDT · by NohSpinZone · 36 replies
    Twitter ^ | 10/19 | OJ
    Damn @JeffreyToobin
  • Health Experts Now Recommend Maximizing Social Distance By Attending A Biden Rally

    10/20/2020 8:30:44 AM PDT · by BipolarBob · 7 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 10/19/2020 | Babylon Bee
    U.S.—Health experts across the globe are recommending a new strategy for maximizing your social distance: attending a Joe Biden rally. Officials say there's no better place to be miles away from most other humans. "When you attend a Joe Biden rally, you're very unlikely to get infected, since, you know, there's no one else there," said one CDC official. "We've found that Trump rallies are super-spreader events since there's a ton of people. Biden rallies are great for stopping the virus. You just stand in the middle of a field while an old guy shouts from a podium hundreds of...
  • Biden Takes Town Hall Question From Undecided Irish-American Voter Henry O'Clintonhan (Satire)

    10/20/2020 3:47:11 AM PDT · by gattaca · 1 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | October 16, 2020 | Babylon Bee
    PHILADELPHIA, PA—Biden's town hall last night was filled with undecided voters. The first one the moderator called on was a hard-working Irish-American immigrant named Henry O'Clintonhan. "Thank ye for takin' me question," O'Clintonhan said, adjusting his large red beard and giant green hat. "Me question is: why is Donald Trump such a bad man, and how-are-ya such a great one, my lad?" It seemed like a slam-dunk for Biden, but he was flustered, shouting one of his silly gaffes that "the bad woman is here" and "she's trying to take me out again, please send help." After a brief intermission,...
  • Today's Toons 10/20/20

    10/20/2020 3:43:09 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 12 replies
    The Politics Forums ^ | 10/20/20 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • My Ode to Jeffery Toobin.

    10/19/2020 11:18:34 PM PDT · by Jonty30 · 27 replies
    There was a man named Jeffery Toobin Who was on call using Zoom and zoomed in People were shocked, dismayed and all ahowl Because all they could see was him and a towel.
  • Biden Offers Anyone Who Votes For Him A Seat On The Supreme Court

    10/19/2020 3:22:20 PM PDT · by BipolarBob · 7 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 10/19/2020 | Babylon Bee
    WASHINGTON, D.C.—Biden is being criticized for buying votes after he unveiled a new plan to give anyone who votes for him a seat on the Supreme Court. "Anyone who votes for me will be appointed to the highest court in the land," he said in a speech Monday to seven riveted rally attendees. "One vote = one seat. It's that simple. That's how it used to be in my day. We'd gather around in the town square and everyone would vote on whether to allow a new general store or saloon. The person who got outvoted, well, they got run...
  • With just days to go in the campaign, Trump knocks environmentally friendly toilets

    10/19/2020 3:20:57 PM PDT · by goodn'mad · 47 replies
    Yahoo News ^ | October 19, 2020 | Dylan Stableford
    With just days to go before the election, President Trump has a lot of things on his mind. And water pressure for toilets appears to be one of them. In a lengthy digression during his rally in Carson City, Nev., on Sunday, Trump claimed that Americans have to “flush their toilet 15 times” due to restrictions on water usage. “You know what really bothers me? When you go into a new hotel or new house, they have these faucets, and you turn them on and no water comes out,” the president said. He then launched into an eight-minute story about...