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Humor (General/Chat)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • This adorable dog got his head stuck in a jar. But, don’t worry, he’s free now

    07/01/2016 10:57:29 PM PDT · by Bullish · 12 replies
    Inland Valley Daily Bulletin ^ | 7-1-16 | John M. Blodgett
    HIGHLAND >> A Cal Fire firefighter in Highland Thursday found a new use for the trauma shear scissors. Panicked dog owners brought his dog to Cal Fire station, 26974 Base Line, after the pup got its head stuck in a jar. “This doggie ... got into the hard plastic jar to steal the trail mix inside and couldn’t get out,” said Cal Fire spokeswoman Liz Brown. The owners tried at home to get the jar off, but when they were unsuccessful, they brought the dog to the fire station, she said.
  • JOKE: If you're out of work are you unemployed?

    07/01/2016 9:20:58 PM PDT · by V K Lee · 13 replies
    COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America. ABBOTT: Good subject. Terrible times. It's 5.6%. COSTELLO: That many people are out of work? ABBOTT: No, that's 23%. COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%. ABBOTT: 5.6% unemployed. COSTELLO: Right, 5.6% out of work. ABBOTT: No, that's 23%. COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 23% unemployed. ABBOTT: No, that's 5.6%. COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%? ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work. COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed. ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed....
  • Amy's Place ... Poetry and Potpourri ... July, August and September 2016

    07/01/2016 7:00:35 AM PDT · by JustAmy · 43 replies
    July 1, 2016 | JustAmy; Meg33, The Mayor; Trisham;
    Welcome To.... 'Amy's Place' welcomes all poets and those who enjoy poetry.'Amy's Place' is more than just about poetry.Come in, relax, and share with fellow FReepersyour thoughts about any of the things on the *Menu*. Enjoy! :) Never Forget! Bad Penny Amy's personal guardian ~ the ever charming, lovable, huggable, LouieWolf Many thanks for stopping by. : )

    07/01/2016 5:49:47 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 50 replies
    Happy Independence Day Weekend Extravaganza And in honor of the holiday, I encourage independent "free for all" silliness! America!!
  • Today's Toons 7/1/16

    07/01/2016 1:32:41 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 7/1/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Rude messages greet Ajax [near Toronto] drivers on drive to work

    06/30/2016 6:51:31 PM PDT · by rickmichaels · 7 replies
    680 News ^ | June 30, 2016 | Staff
    Some commuters got some rather strange traffic tips earlier this week in Ajax. Whitby Coun. Elizabeth Roy snapped photos of these “rogue” road signs, one wishing drivers a “not so nice” morning while another warned of some strong atmospheric disturbances. Durham Region officials say someone got access to the construction sign’s controls on Westney Road and changed the message sometime during the night. The messages were removed later that morning.
  • Army approves uniform modifications for Furries (Satire)

    06/30/2016 9:14:57 AM PDT · by rey · 23 replies
    Duffleblog ^ | 30 April
    WASHINGTON — The US Army’s ongoing efforts to be more open and accepting has expanded this week to include another historically marginalized group: Furries. According to sources close to acting Army Secretary John McHugh, the Army will soon announce a set of uniform accommodations for these soldiers, who fetishize animal costumes. “We are committed to allowing these people to follow their religion or their hearts or the voices in their fillings, or whatever the hell it is that drives them to dress and act this way,” said the source, who requested anonymity on the grounds that he didn’t want his...
  • Brawl erupts in Dallas taco shop, video goes viral

    06/30/2016 8:52:56 AM PDT · by RummyChick · 47 replies
    star-telegram ^ | 6/29 | darling
    How about a plate of tacos with a side order of fat lip and a nice, cool can of beatdown? That’s exactly what some diners at Taqueria El Paisano Mexican Restaurant in northwest Dallas got over the weekend. According to, a brawl broke out at around 2:30 a.m. Saturday that ended up in punches being landed, hair being pulled, chairs being thrown, and a five-minute video that’s gone viral, logging more than 1.7 million views.
  • Why the sun going blank means a ‘Game of Thrones’-like winter is coming

    06/30/2016 4:07:06 AM PDT · by Salgak · 45 replies
    The NY Post ^ | 6/29/2016 | via NY Post
    ou may not have noticed but our sun has gone as blank as a cue ball. As in, it’s lost its spots. According to scientists, this unsettling phenomenon is a sign we are heading for a mini ice age. Meteorologist and renowned sun-watcher Paul Dorian raised the alarm in his latest report, which has sparked a mild panic about an impending “Game of Thrones”-style winter not seen since the 17th century.
  • Today's Toons 6/30/16

    06/30/2016 1:30:36 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 7 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/30/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Today's Toons 6/29/16

    06/29/2016 1:25:43 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 14 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/29/16 | pookie18
    Click on link

    06/28/2016 3:55:23 PM PDT · by HomerBohn · 17 replies
    email | 6/28/2016
    Mt. McKinley National Park: This is a very sad story about a formerly well-balanced wild bear. Everybody should heed the warnings not to feed wildlife because they become dependent and don't forage for themselves any longer. It is such a tragedy to see what has been done to our country's wildlife. The U.S. Forest Service photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect U.S. wildlife. Animals that formerly were self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democrat Party. They have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide...
  • VIDEO: Debunking the Myth of 2nd Amendment for "Militia Only!" Truth Hurts...

    06/28/2016 3:20:59 PM PDT · by StevenCrowder · 47 replies ^ | 06/28/2016 | Steven Crowder
    Leftists hate the Second Amendment. They’re no longer hiding it. But they’re going to have a tough time just writing it out of existence. Therefore they’re attempting to dismantle it piece by piece, using this favorite talking point: the Amendment is for the militia and the militia only. Except… no. Learn something below… <()_a href="">
  • Stu Corrects Appallingly Racist Pool Poster From American Red Cross

    06/28/2016 12:31:30 PM PDT · by Morgana · 7 replies ^ | June 28, 2016 | Lori
    It’s appalling. It’s sickening. It’s racist. It’s the pool safety poster from the American Red Cross. “Don’t look directly at it,” Co-host Pat Gray warned. An outdated poster intended to inform children about pool safety has at long last been called out by the PC police. “Thankfully some parent found and saw this . . . not at one, but at two separate pools,” Co-host Stu Burguiere said. The poster depicts children of different colors around and in a local pool, doing things that are either deemed “cool” or “not cool.”
  • The F-4 Is a Great Fighter With a Bad Reputation

    06/28/2016 11:21:20 AM PDT · by C19fan · 55 replies
    War is Boring ^ | June 25, 2016 | Sebastien Roblin
    The McDonnell Douglas F-4 Phantom II is a legendary aircraft — an icon of the Vietnam War and the archetype of the third-generation jet fighter designs that entered service in the 1960s. More than 5,000 of these heavy supersonic fighters were built, and hundreds continue to serve and even see combat in several air forces today. But the Phantom’s record in air-to-air combat over Vietnam — especially when compared to its successor, the F-15 Eagle, which has never been shot down in air-to-air combat — has left it with a reputation of being a clumsy bruiser reliant on brute engine power and obsolete weapons technology.
  • Today's Toons 6/28/16

    06/28/2016 4:29:05 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 21 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/28/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Vanity: Caption Hillary with donuts, and a cupcake ;-)

    06/27/2016 5:22:56 AM PDT · by simpson96 · 40 replies ^ | 6/25/ | Staff
  • Today's Toons 6/27/16

    06/27/2016 3:20:09 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 6/27/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • THE SAVAGE NATION!!!!!!(Week of June 27, 2016)

    06/26/2016 7:07:36 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 38 replies ^ | 6-27-16 | Dr. Michael Savage
  • Gucci Hell March [video]

    06/26/2016 3:32:43 AM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 51 replies
    Me, via YouTube ^ | 6/26/16 | Me, as "Hopalong Ginsberg"
    This is footage of Gucci's recent fashion show set to the song "Hell March 3" from the video game Red Alert. If you have to ask why, you'll never understand the answer.
  • "Eight Variations on 'You Suffer' in 14 Seconds" - 8 grindcore covers, by Yours Truly

    06/25/2016 3:59:41 PM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 12 replies
    Me, via YouTube ^ | 6/25/16 | Me, as "Hopalong Ginsberg"
    A while back I did a cover of Napalm Death's grindcore classic "You Suffer." (Napalm Death's original.) Since one cover version was clearly not enough to explore the potential of this piece I have added seven more. Art demands sacrifice. For a free MP3 download of "Eight Variations on 'You Suffer' in 14 Seconds" click here.
  • Leaked Documents Show Some Uber Drivers Barely Making Ends Meet

    06/25/2016 5:52:59 AM PDT · by logi_cal869 · 63 replies ^ | June 23, 2016 | Devin Fehely
    Uber is coming under increased scrutiny after leaked documents indicated their drivers really don’t make all that much money. “I’ve been saying this for a while, it’s an Uber disappointment,” explained driver Kelsey Tilander
  • TV Game Show "MUSLIM or GAY???"

    06/25/2016 1:26:04 AM PDT · by OrangeHoof · 9 replies
    my empty head | 6-25-2016 | Orangehoof
    APPLAUSE APPLAUSE Announcer: Welcome to the new game show that has all America talking, it's "Muslim or Gay" where we ask contestants to guess the identities of famous people and now, here's your host JJJJJJJosh Ernest!!! APPLAUSE APPLAUSE Thank you. Thank you. Welcome, again to another edition of the hit quiz show "Muslim or Gay", brought to you by CAIR - the Council on American-Islamic Relations and by the U.S. Department of Justice - "Sticking it to whitey since 2009." Tonight, we have a special Presidential Election edition of Muslim or Gay so let's meet our contestants: First, to our...
  • Margaret Thatcher does the Dead EU Sketch (sorta)

    06/24/2016 6:35:16 PM PDT · by reed13k · 8 replies
    I was actually looking for some humor to lighten a Friday and stumbled upon this. I had never seen this and about busted a gasket given the vote yesterday. I couldn't imagine anything else that makes more sense to post then this in a most appropriate salute to the Brits vote yesterday!

    06/24/2016 7:29:05 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 73 replies
    What Democrats think this sit-in looks like vs. what this sit-in actually is Ben Shapiro  ‏@benshapiro Jun 22 Looks like Democrats want to work on the Buffet Rule. Forgive me for the limited silliness here...I'm still under the weather (bronchitis) and just don't have it in me. So it's up to you all, to carry the silliness today. I'm counting on you.
  • A little levity.

    06/24/2016 6:14:49 AM PDT · by Phlap · 22 replies
    Rod ^ | 06/24/2016 | Unknown
    A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italytomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy. With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy , the woman accepted. That...
  • How Bad Is Hillary?… She Just Read "Sigh" From Her TelePrompter

    06/23/2016 6:38:45 PM PDT · by Jet Jaguar · 57 replies
    Youtube ^ | Not sure | NA
    How Bad Is Hillary?… She Just Read "Sigh" From Her TelePrompter
  • This is just too much fun.

    06/23/2016 6:26:35 PM PDT · by mountn man · 33 replies
    Yahoo ^ | Today | Me
    So...I'm over at Yahoo, expanding my capacity for stupidity. When I come across a live one. You know the type. Liberal with absolutely NO critical thinking skills. ... Oops...I guess I'm being redundant.So, I'm on this article Family Plans to Destroy Stockpile of Inherited Guns and Ammo Worth Millions, Lawyer Says And my live one makes this comment "They best guard the weapons closely, if Teas get ahold of them they will kill many innocent people...Teas are anarchists, terrorists and murderers! NO more GOP/TP tyranny and tyrants forevermore! So, after bait like that, I bit. It wasn't long after that...
  • Geneva to get 'café fellatio' by end of year (Switzerland)

    06/23/2016 2:56:50 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 52 replies
    The Local ^ | 6-23-16 | The Local
    The idea for the sex café has been brewing for several months, Bradley Charvet of the Geneva firm Facegirl told Geneva’s Le Matin newspaper recently. Modelled on similar establishments in Thailand, the proposed Geneva café would add a new dimension to the sex trade in the city of the protestant reformer Calvin. Put simply, the business model would see men ordering a coffee and using an iPad to select a prostitute they want to perform oral sex on them. They would then sit at the bar.
  • VIDEO: Me (Steven Crowder) vs SkyNews on Gun Control. Discomfort Ensues...

    06/23/2016 2:33:12 PM PDT · by StevenCrowder · 71 replies
    So I don't know how to hyperlink, but this happened today. SkyNews brought me in to discuss gun control. The host immediately started with false propaganda. I corrected him. Hilarity ensues. Hope you enjoy!
  • Man’s Heirs To Destroy $5 Million In Guns and Ammo

    06/23/2016 2:26:43 PM PDT · by dennisw · 43 replies
    breitbart ^ | 2016/06/23/ | AWR Hawkins
    The heirs of 60-year-old Jeffry Lash plan to destroy a stockpile of $5 million in guns and ammunition discovered after his death in Pacific Palisades last year. Family members intend to destroy the guns to show their disapproval of “gun violence.” Lash was discovered dead in an SUV in the summer of 2015. Breitbart News reported that as Lash approached death, he told various women he was suffering side effects from poisonous agents to which he had allegedly been exposed while working for the CIA. In truth, he had cancer. According to ABC 7, “Police said Lash stockpiled more than...
  • Kuntzman Cries! The perils of everyday life, as seen by Gersh Kuntzman

    06/23/2016 9:54:28 AM PDT · by Lazamataz · 96 replies
    6/23/2016 | By Laz A. Mataz
    Gersh Kuntzman, a faltering lily from the New York Post, wrote a meek and scared little article on his experiences firing an AR-15. Here is a sample: The recoil bruised my shoulder, which can happen if you don't know what you're doing. The brass shell casings disoriented me as they flew past my face. The smell of sulfur and destruction made me sick. The explosions — loud like a bomb — gave me a temporary form of PTSD. For at least an hour after firing the gun just a few times, I was anxious and irritable. Someone then created a...
  • Today's Toons 6/23/16

    06/23/2016 4:33:30 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 8 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/23/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Today's Toons 6/22/16

    06/22/2016 1:22:03 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 16 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/22/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Vanity/Think My Dogs a Democrat by Bryan Lewis

    06/21/2016 9:23:25 PM PDT · by CGASMIA68 · 5 replies
  • On my way to see Lazamataz in Atlanta -- any words of advice or caution?

    06/21/2016 4:25:26 PM PDT · by usconservative · 235 replies
    Self ^ | 6/21/2016 | USConservative
    Ok, I'm leaving Chicago to go to Atlanta (I know, I know, one murdering violent hell-hole to another) and see my brother Laz. Any parting words of advice from all of you who know him best? Should I up the life insurance?
  • Vanity: Your thoughts on these items from the online store

    06/21/2016 10:56:22 AM PDT · by simpson96 · 25 replies ^ | 6/21/2016 | Staff
    The official 'Woman Card'. $5. The Love and Kindness poster. $30. The Pantsuit Pallette tee. 'Why pick one pantsuit when you can wear them all at once?' $30. Presidenta tee. $30. Chillary Clinton can holder combo. $10.Pamela Love tee. $45."I have always felt empowered and inspired by Hillary Clinton. The causes she promotes are ones I both respect and identify with as a small-business owner. Hillary's poise, strength, and perseverance as a leader are all characteristics that inspired my design. In a world where hostility and violence are so prevalent, it is so important to imbue kindness and love....
  • Today's Toons 6/21/16

    06/21/2016 1:27:21 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/21/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Today's Toons 6/20/16

    06/20/2016 3:19:37 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 7 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 6/20/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Activists Plot World's Largest Fart In [hilarious]

    06/19/2016 8:18:38 PM PDT · by Paleo Pete · 28 replies
    The American Mirror ^ | June 19, 2016 | Kyle Olson
    Just the link, the Democrats' own activists are planning a "fart in" at Hillary's inevitable acceptance speech.... I just thought it was good for a laugh.
  • So, will I need to turn in my fully automatic J7-OMA once the liberals come for our guns?

    06/18/2016 4:20:41 PM PDT · by mkleesma · 32 replies
    Topper ^ | 6/17/2016 | Mkleesma
    You'll put your eye out! On my 7th birthday, I got one of these...I was the happiest kid on the planet! Course, nowadays they would be banned.
  • Painting Muhammad with Bob Ross | Louder With Crowder **LOL**

    06/17/2016 1:45:16 PM PDT · by Auntie Mame · 38 replies
    youtube ^ | June 17, 2016 | Steven Crowder
    Crowder has outDONE himself with this video. Clickable link below (I hope)

    06/17/2016 8:04:56 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 45 replies
    Since Father's Day is this weekend, here's a tribute to Dads! Dads. They helped bring you into this world and are still trying to figure out how to navigate that world through technology — specifically smartphones.Now they often use texts to send their corny humor and valiant attempts at communication instead of a phone call, and as they say, father knows best...1.They dispense sage advice.2. And help temper expectations.3. They help calm you when you're scared.4. And won't take any crap.5. They'll stick by you no matter what.6. Not to mention provide for all your needs. Lead the Way!...
  • The unofficial ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** replacement thread

    06/17/2016 7:22:54 AM PDT · by Travis T. OJustice · 34 replies
    my head | today | Me
    I'm not sure where Lucky9teen is, but I do love the OFST, so I figured we might try an unauthorized, unofficial replacement in it's absence. I do hope she's cool with it.
  • Today's Toons 6/17/16

    06/17/2016 3:00:02 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 5 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 6/17/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Louder With Crowder (live youtube stream NOW)

    06/16/2016 5:13:15 PM PDT · by libertarian27 · 5 replies
    StevenCrowderYouTube ^ | June 16, 2016 | Steven Crowder
    Live streaming now! Join us as we continue #CulturalAppreciation month. This week... the beautiful culture of the Middle East! This weeks guests include Anni Cyrus, Dave Rubin, Gerald Morgan, and firearms expert, Alex Joye
  • Todays Obama Speech In Orlando.Forgot To Mention That The Shooter Was A Registered Democrat.

    06/16/2016 2:27:24 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 20 replies
    And what a lame speech it was! Obama never related any of the known facts of the Orlando shooting. No mention that it was a Muslim that wanted to kill as many gays as possible in a single event. No mention that the shooter had a weapons license. But most important, did not mention that the shooter was a Registered Democrat!, You think Obama would of made a different speech today if the shooter was a white conservative?
  • 8th-Grader Imitates Presidential Candidates in Epic Grad Speech

    06/16/2016 10:17:35 AM PDT · by nickcarraway · 10 replies
    NBC ^ | Jun 15, 2016
    Whoever wins this year’s presidential election might want to call this Chicago-area eighth-grader up as a speech writer. Jack Aiello is a young teen with big dreams ahead of him — and potentially a slot on "Saturday Night Live" or in the White House. The Arlington Heights middle schooler has quickly garnered Internet praise for his hilarious graduation speech, which included impersonations of the 2016 presidential candidates. Aiello’s entire roughly 350-student graduating class was tasked with writing a graduation speech as part of an English assignment. The speeches were then evaluated by teachers and staff before three finalists were selected....
  • Today's Toons 6/16/16

    06/16/2016 3:21:49 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 7 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/16/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • You better esplain... [Hillary]

    06/16/2016 12:32:56 AM PDT · by beaversmom · 4 replies
    Imgur ^ | June 15, 2016 | BonkyBoy