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Humor (General/Chat)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Some brazilians rednecks found a new way of opening beer

    11/26/2015 5:40:20 PM PST · by BBell · 26 replies ^ | 11/22/15
    Some brazilians rednecks found a new way of opening beer
  • Our evil planet kills countless humans every year – why bother to save it?

    11/26/2015 3:30:30 PM PST · by ground_fog · 9 replies
    The Guardian ^ | November 24th, 2015 | Colin Quinn
    If this planet exploded tomorrow I wouldn’t shed a tear. Environmentalists say evil mankind is destroying a beautiful God-given place. Really? Mudslides, earthquakes and twisters kill millions (thousands) of people every year. Innocent planet? I judge by deeds not words. Yes, pollutants kill. But so do rockslides. If you talk to the average resident of a natural disaster location, they will be glad to tell you the planet has done as much evil as the average multinational in terms of lives taken in their local community.
  • Turkey Drop: A Thanksgiving Tradition Since 1978 (WKRP Classic)

    11/26/2015 10:34:12 AM PST · by mojito · 16 replies
    American Digest ^ | 10/30/1978 | Les Nessman
    "It's a helicopter, and it's coming this way. It's flying something behind it, I can't quite make it out, it's a large banner and it says, uh - Happy... Thaaaaanksss... giving! ... From ... W ... K ... R... P!! No parachutes yet. Can't be skydivers... I can't tell just yet what they are, but - Oh my God, Johnny, they're turkeys!! Johnny, can you get this? Oh, they're plunging to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! Oh, the humanity! The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks...
  • The Official Chicago Bears v. Green Bay Packers Thanksgiving Day Game Drinking Game

    11/26/2015 9:18:28 AM PST · by usconservative · 41 replies | 11/26/2015 | Chris Bourg
    Chicagoans have one more reason to be thankful tonight, as the Bears take on the Packers in Lambeau Field for a primetime Thanksgiving matchup. Even though the Bears have been playing a little better as of late, the Packers are a superior team and will almost certainly destroy them like they did in September. So to cap off your Thanksgiving night right, here's a fun drinking game to play while you watch the game to make the viewing experience a little more enjoyable. (Optional) Pre-game warm-up: Try to name all 27 quarterbacks the Bears have started since 1992 when Brett...
  • 500 Smith & Wesson vs Frozen Turkeys

    11/26/2015 8:35:33 AM PST · by MtnClimber · 23 replies
    Bearing Arms ^ | 23 Nov, 2015 | Bob Owens
    One .500 Smith & Wesson Magnum. One Underwood Ammunition bullet loaded with a 350-grain Xtreme Penetrator bullet moving at roughly 1,850 feet per second. Five frozen turkeys. Sounds like fun! Video at link.

    11/26/2015 6:31:04 AM PST · by knarf · 33 replies
    youtube ^ | Thanksgiving Day 2015 | knarf
    The Movie The Song (illustrated) Happy Thanksgiving to all who can remember these days .... and those that can't .... 'cause we all seem to have survived ... or y'woody'nt (get it?) be her in FR
  • Google deems Bernie Sanders’ economic plan a ‘phishing scam’

    11/26/2015 6:25:16 AM PST · by Lonesome in Massachussets · 4 replies
    The Washington Times ^ | November 25, 2015 | Stephen Dinan
    Democratic presidential hopeful Bernard Sanders’ economic plan triggered Gmail’s “phishing scam” antenna, with the mail system saying the senator’s liberal campaign promises — including lower prescription drug prices and free college for all — sound like frauds. “Be careful with this message. It contains content that’s typically used to steal personal information,” Gmail said in a bright red warning box that appeared at the top of a message sent by Mr. Sanders’ campaign Friday, laying out his “Agenda for Working Families.”
  • Today's Toons 11/26/15

    11/26/2015 3:41:35 AM PST · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 11/26/15 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Cats vs Zombies

    11/25/2015 7:13:12 PM PST · by dynachrome · 8 replies
    youtube ^ | 9/10/15 | Mr. TVcow
    Save the kitten!
  • Homeless man is accused of collecting submachine guns, silencers and handguns

    11/25/2015 6:30:25 PM PST · by DUMBGRUNT · 60 replies
    LA Times ^ | 25 Nov 2015 | Veronica Rocha
    Richard Cunningham was homeless. But he wasn’t gun-less, police allege. Deputies found a cache of weapons at his Harbor City encampment, including: two fully operational submachine guns, four handguns, two makeshift silencers and numerous rounds of ammunition, It is unclear how Cunningham came to possess the arsenal.
  • Would Trump Pardon the Thanksgiving Turkey as President.

    11/25/2015 12:48:09 PM PST · by ThomasThomas · 39 replies
    Vanity | Today | Thomas
    If Trump is elected president do you think he will pardon the Thanksgiving Turkey. It has a recent practice among presidents to pardon a for Thanksgiving. But even as I child I was sure they still ate Thanksgiving day. Would Putin hold such a tradition if Russia had one. Do you think Trump would hold on to this tradition? It is said to date back to Truman but was really tradition till about Kennedy. Anyone have a better history?
  • WILDLY POLITICALLY INCORRECT VIDEO: "Thanksgiving and Native Americans - The Truth"

    11/25/2015 9:05:21 AM PST · by StevenCrowder · 22 replies ^ | 11/25/2015 | Steven Crowder
    Happens every Thanksgiving, doesn’t? Some bleeding heart liberal you’re “related to” gets on their moral high Crazy Horse and lectures about how horribly rotten the white man was to the Native Americans. Which is why this year we’re throwing in the tomahawk. Time to scalp the facts about the Indians. Feathers not dots. TRIGGER WARNING: offensive video at link. Transcript (without the sketch-cutaways or jokes) It’s Thanksgiving! You know what that means. As you try and enjoy your downtime with your family, you’ll undoubtedly find a social justice warrior around your Thanksgiving table trying to force-feed you white guilt. Afterall,...
  • Today's Toons 11/25/15

    11/25/2015 3:35:38 AM PST · by pookie18 · 16 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 11/25/15 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • [Vanity] Lunch with Santa

    11/24/2015 11:20:51 PM PST · by TBP · 7 replies
    Observation | Me
    The firehouse near us has a sign out promoting "Lunch With Santa". What are the serving, ho-ho-hoagies?
  • The College Football Czar: Week 13

    11/24/2015 7:55:34 PM PST · by Daniel Clark · 20 replies
    The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press ^ | November 24, 2015 | Daniel Clark
    The College Football Czar: Week 13 Week twelve in review: Clemson and Iowa are the only remaining undefeated teams after Ohio State, Oklahoma State and Houston were all toppled last Saturday. In the new CFP ratings, OSU has now plummeted past the Michigan State team that upset them, a development that would not likely have happened under the old BCS system. As much as it may feel right to the CFP committee that the head-to-head winner should have the higher ranking, it isn't really logical, which is why the computer-influenced BCS might have figured it differently. The Buckeyes' only loss...
  • Windows 10 pilot rollouts will surge in early 2016, says Gartner (Boundless Optimism Everywhere)

    11/24/2015 7:17:54 PM PST · by dayglored · 28 replies
    The Register ^ | Nov 23, 2015 | Gavin Clarke
    Takeup will be 'significantly more rapid than seen with Windows 7' The first six months of 2016 will see an upsurge in pilot rollouts of Windows 10, Gartner has predicted. Many enterprises will then broaden their deployments later in the year with Gartner expecting at least half to have started some form of production deployment by the beginning of 2017, and looking to complete migrations in 2019. That will help Windows 10 become Microsoft's most widely deployed operating system, following in the footsteps of Windows 7 and Windows XP, Gartner said. That may, or may not, be what Microsoft wants...
  • I Will Not Apologize for Making a Joke About Star Wars

    11/24/2015 5:59:49 PM PST · by MoochPooch · 29 replies
    National Review ^ | Nov. 24, 2015 | Katherine Timpf
    More than a month ago, I made some jokes about Star Wars on Red Eye, a satirical political comedy show that airs at 3 a.m., and it has resulted in me being verbally abused and told to die by a mob of enraged fans for the past four days now. The capital-offense comments were: “I have never had any interest in watching space nerds poke each other with their little space nerd sticks, and I’m not going to start now.” And: “Yesterday I tweeted something, and all I said was that I wasn’t familiar with Star Wars because I’ve been...
  • Key & Peele - East/West College Bowl

    11/24/2015 3:54:23 PM PST · by bolobaby · 5 replies
    Comedy Central via Youtube ^ | 09/20/2012 | Key & Peele
    oh. My. GOD. How did I miss this 3 years ago? Brilliant. Watch, laugh, enjoy, and come up with your own name! Linky
  • Oliver the Goldendoodle attracts an army of followers on Instagram in his fancy dress poses

    11/24/2015 10:58:28 AM PST · by afraidfortherepublic · 16 replies
    The Daily Mail Online ^ | 11-24-15 | Sara Malm
    A dog has amassed an army of fans online after his owners began photographing him dressed up in funny outfits Go to link to see these clever pictures of a VERY PATIENT dog.
  • Never mind the ‘Steve Jobs’ movie, get ready for the ‘Michael Dell’ biopic! (Trailer)

    11/24/2015 8:42:13 AM PST · by Swordmaker · 25 replies
    Mac Daily News ^ | Tuesday, November 24, 2015 · 11:15 am | Conan O'Brien and Team Coco
    "Don't Think Different. . . Think Same!" That mind-closing statement is just one from the upcoming biopic, "Michael Dell." When a confused and obviously new-on-the-job Dell "engineer" shows Michael Dell the latest plastic Windows PC box to emerge from the Dell "labs," and is told to just start shipping it without even turning it on, the confused sap asks, "Bu, but, we need to make it great?" In a nearly memorable emotional highlight, Dell responds with brutal clarity, "No! You need to make it cheap!" Later, in the film’s most revealing line, Dell discloses his company’s entire raison d'etre, the...
  • NFL Week 12 Live Thread

    11/24/2015 5:35:19 AM PST · by Bender2 · 100 replies
    ESPN ^ | ESPN
    NFL WEEK 12 Nov. 26 Philadelphia Eagles at Detroit Lions 12:30 Carolina Panthers at Dallas Cowboys 4:30 Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers 8:30 Nov. 29 Minnesota Vikings at Atlanta Falcons 1 St. Louis Rams at Cincinnati Bengals 1 New Orleans Saints at Houston Texans 1 Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Indianapolis Colts 1 San Diego Chargers at Jacksonville Jaguars 1 Buffalo Bills at Kansas City Chiefs 1 Miami Dolphins at New York Jets 1 Oakland Raiders at Tennessee Titans 1 New York Giants at Washington Redskins 1 Arizona Cardinals at San Francisco 49ers 4:05 Pittsburgh Steelers at Seattle Seahawks 4:25...
  • Today's Toons 11/24/15

    11/24/2015 3:29:21 AM PST · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 11/24/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Is Linux Mint a terrible desktop distribution?

    11/24/2015 2:30:32 AM PST · by markomalley · 31 replies
    IT World ^ | 11/20/15 | Jim Lynch
    Is Linux Mint a terrible desktop distribution? How bad is Linux Mint as a desktop distribution? One redditor shared with difficult experience of installing Linux Mint on his computer. Itripovermyownfeet shared his thoughts in the Linux Mint subreddit: This is awful, when I install Linux on the desktop I'm expecting to be able to waste a solid 8 hours chasing down random issues that were solved on all other modern desktop systems by 2008. I went into this hoping and wishing to have to crawl through threads from 2006 to figure out why plugging in a second...
  • And Till This Day,Alan Colmes Doesn't Associate Any World Crisis With President Obama.

    11/23/2015 4:17:46 PM PST · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 37 replies
    The last time we saw Alan Colmes on Fox was over the weekend. And even when going back and forth with the host and another commentator, he claimed that the GOP was using the Paris Crisis as red meat against Obama and maybe for the 2016 race. So technically,He is still blaming Bush for what happened in Paris along with the previous ISIS attacks. Is it safe to assume that Alan Colmes is either a complete jerk, and/or, a paid DNC commentator?
  • Today's Toons 11/23/15

    11/23/2015 3:23:40 AM PST · by pookie18 · 18 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 11/23/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Sea Wars Trailer (U.S. Navy spoofs Star Wars Trailer)

    11/22/2015 7:51:42 PM PST · by Enlightened1 · 10 replies
    Youtube ^ | 11/18/15
    The IKE Awakens.
  • AMAZING: Comedian Hilariously Sums Up How Political Correctness Is Strangling Our Country

    11/22/2015 5:49:35 PM PST · by beaversmom · 35 replies
    BuzzPo ^ | November 9, 2015 | Neel Kolhatkar
    Comedian Neel Kolhatkar's video titled "Modern Educayshun" pins the nail on the head in his video on everything that's wrong with education, entitlement and social justice movements in America. This video is a must see for anyone who thinks too many Americans are drinking the self-righteous Kool-Aid infecting our college campuses.
  • Meet the lady that has single handedly united all the races and religions of the world

    11/22/2015 1:50:31 PM PST · by lowbridge · 34 replies
  • [SATIRE] #BlackLivesMatter want Abe Lincoln Removed From Campus

    11/22/2015 2:11:59 AM PST · by Lazamataz · 18 replies
    Missouri State University Black Lives Matter activists are demanding that Abraham Lincoln's image be removed from all U.S. currency and public buildings, citing statements Lincoln made to Frederick Douglass that prove the sixteenth President's racism.
  • Millennial

    11/21/2015 10:27:39 PM PST · by WhiskeyX · 13 replies
    Urban Dictionary ^ | July 14, 2010 | the Witter
    Millennial Special little snowflake. Born between 1982 and 1994 this generation is something special, cause Mom and Dad and their 5th grade teacher Mrs. Winotsky told them so. Plus they have a whole shelf of participation trophies sitting at home so it has to be true. They believe themselves to be highly intelligent, the teachers and lecturers constantly gave them "A"'s in order to keep Mom and Dad from complaining to the Dean. Unfortunately, nobody explained to them the difference between and education and grade inflation so they tend to demonstrate poor spelling and even poorer grammar. At work, millennials...
  • Some toons for you

    11/21/2015 3:12:27 PM PST · by sparklite2 · 4 replies
  • Dairy Queen Robbed By Mysterious, Sword-Wielding Assailant

    11/21/2015 1:58:04 AM PST · by Cowman · 18 replies
    Kitchenette ^ | 11/19/15 9:49am | C.A. Pinkham
    Y’know. Just robbing a Dairy Queen with a sword. As one does. A robbery at a Port Huron, Michigan Dairy Queen has police searching for a robber armed with f----g Longclaw. Police say the man ordered a Blizzard, then as soon as the counterperson opened the cash register, he pulled out a “sword or machete,” grabbed the cash, and ran. OK, important question here: how exactly does one hide a sword? A sword tends to occupy a sizable area, not to mention immediately drawing one’s attention to its presence, because it’s a f----g sword. Was the nameless suburban ronin actually...
  • Suicide Vest Control Law and a Bomb Free Zone Law

    11/20/2015 7:47:01 PM PST · by gasport · 20 replies
    Urge Gov. Cuomo to quickly ram thru the NYS Legislature a Suicide Vest Control Law and a Bomb Free Zone Law.
  • Survey:Your "Ideal Jobs For Syrian Refugees".Road And Bridge Maintenance?

    11/20/2015 5:03:27 PM PST · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 21 replies
    It's bad enough we are 19 Trillion in debt with a more realistic 30-40 per-cent unemployment crisis. So if we take in a few thousand refugees with no work skills, what are they going to do? Just live in a 600 sq ft government owned apartment? Why not give them jobs, like "Gas Station Convenience Store Clerk" or Exxon/Mobil Gas Transporter. Or how about working at your local "Nuclear Power Plant"? Let's hear some of your suggestions.
  • People need to stop scaring cats with cucumbers, say animal behaviorists

    11/20/2015 12:56:05 PM PST · by sparklite2 · 87 replies
    Fox News ^ | November 20, 2015 | Michael Harthorne
    The new viral craze is apparently scaring cats with cucumbers, because the Internet is a weird place and humans enjoy low-grade animal cruelty as long as it's adorable. But National Geographic reports that we should all maybe not be scaring our cats with cucumbers. According to Upvoted, the first cat-scared-by-cucumber video appears to have been uploaded in May and went viral by July or so. Countless others followed, to the point where Reddit has an entire Cucumbers Scaring Cats community. The idea behind these videos is that if you put a cucumber behind a cat, it'll freak out when it...

    11/20/2015 5:10:49 AM PST · by Lucky9teen · 71 replies
    My message to our government and all terroristsRight? Dear Family and Friends! I am sorry that I have not been responsive lately to your emails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue ( PIST-AWF ). For those of you who do not know what that is, PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious. Symptoms include, but may not be limited to: Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair...
  • Today's Toons 11/20/15

    11/20/2015 1:26:41 AM PST · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 11/20/15 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • The College Football Czar: Week 12

    11/19/2015 7:47:43 PM PST · by Daniel Clark · 7 replies
    The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press ^ | November 19, 2015 | Daniel Clark
    The College Football Czar: Week 12 Week eleven in review: For those readers who are unsure about the chronology, last week's issue was published the night before Gary Pinkel announced his retirement due to his having been diagnosed with lymphoma. Had this been revealed a day sooner, the College Football Czar would have thought it distasteful to criticize the coach over the previous week's events. Nevertheless, Pinkel's unfortunate personal circumstance and his handling of the campus "hunger strike" are two separate issues. What the Czar wrote about the latter is accurate, and he retracts nothing. The number of undefeated teams...
  • New Liberal Rant:"Slam The Door".But What Party Has Been Slamming The Door On Us?

    11/19/2015 5:12:07 PM PST · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 5 replies
    We can't slam the door on illegal Syrian Men? Now who's slammed the door on Average, Middle Class Americans since 2009?, Another Obama/Pelosi Hypocrisy? Ever since Obama took office, we have been told to shut up, get out and had the door slammed on us when we needed help! "Obama-Care"? A perfect example of the middle class having the door slammed shut on then. You could make quite a list of things liberals have done to the middle class that would be in the category of having a door slammed in their faces.
  • GPS monitor ties rape suspect to stolen weapons cache, FBI says

    11/19/2015 1:00:23 PM PST · by DUMBGRUNT · 3 replies
    cbsnews ^ | 19 Nov 2015 | CRIMESIDER STAFF
    A GPS monitoring bracelet and DNA led to the arrest of a suspect in connection with the theft of 16 guns from a Massachusetts Army Reserve armory, the FBI announced Thursday. The theft was reported Sunday morning after someone gained access to the facility through a kitchen window, and then broke into the gun vault by climbing on top of it and cutting through several layers of metal and wood, according to the affidavit.
  • NEW VIDEO: Ted Cruz Throws Gauntlet To Obama. Like you've never seen him

    11/19/2015 6:38:14 AM PST · by StevenCrowder · 23 replies ^ | 11/19/2015 | Steven Crowder
    This week, on Louder With Crowder, we welcome Senator Ted Cruz in an exclusive, full-length, unedited interview. Some transcript highlights below, but the video is worth a watch. This is Ted Cruz unbuttoned, uncensored, and like you’ve never seen him VIDEO AT LINK On his direct challenge to Obama’s attacks on him regarding Syrian refugees. "Yesterday he attacked me, said I was ‘un-American’, today he attacked me and said I was ‘offensive’. All because I’m saying what millions of Americans are saying across this country” "I think it is lunacy when this administration can’t vet them, has no idea who...
  • Today's Toons 11/19/15

    11/19/2015 3:27:49 AM PST · by pookie18 · 14 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 11/19/15 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Garrison Keillor to Retire

    11/18/2015 1:24:20 PM PST · by Cecily · 64 replies ^ | July 24, 2015 | Michelle Keenan
    In an recent interview with the Associated Press Garrison Keillor says he plans to step down as host of A Prairie Home Companion (APHC) after the 2015-2016 season. The 72 year old said, "I have a lot of other things that I want to do. I mean, nobody retires anymore. Writers never retire. But this is my last season. This tour this summer is the farewell tour."
  • Blacula Lives Matter Disrupts VampCon 2015

    11/18/2015 11:00:53 AM PST · by laotzu · 8 replies
    The Peoples Cube | 10/26/15 | Kilroy
    Barrow, AK - VampCon, an annual convention of the world's leading vampires, was disrupted today by activists from Blacula Lives Matter. Formed following the decapitation of Tara "True Blood" Thornton by Swedish vampire hunters outside of a St. Louis nightclub last April, Blacula Lives Matter often draws attention to black vampire slayings by interrupting accursed gatherings. Dracula: Prince of Darkness, dressed in a black Armani suit and silk cape, was concluding his lecture on professionalism and decorum when the activists began yelling from the audience. As he admonished younger vampires for wearing excessive glitter lotion and not only playing with,...
  • Why is People magazine’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ almost always white?

    11/18/2015 10:26:10 AM PST · by Responsibility2nd · 69 replies
    MSNBC ^ | 11/18/2015 | Adam Howard
    People magazine's pick for their annual "Sexiest Man Alive" cover story is ... another white guy. David Beckham, the 40-year-old retired soccer star, received the nod on Tuesday, making him the latest in a long line of white men so honored since the magazine started awarding the title 30 years ago. Denzel Washington is the only person of color to ever grace a "Sexiest Man Alive" cover, and that was 19 years ago. Meanwhile, four white actors (Richard Gere, George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp) have earned the distinction twice. ~snip~ "I'm not personally slighted by it, majorly because...
  • Vanity: Need artist to create cartoon

    11/18/2015 8:57:20 AM PST · by aimhigh · 8 replies
    vanity ^ | 11/18/2015 | aimhigh
    Create a cartoon showing Obama cutting a cake with a large knife. The cake is shaped like the USA. The knife has the word, "Refugees" on it. To Obama's side, there are knives with the words race, immigration, global warming, etc. The top caption over the cartoon should read, "Dividing America, one issue at a time."
  • The Case for Donald Trump - Part 1

    11/18/2015 8:43:10 AM PST · by Nacho Bidnith · 1 replies
    intellectual froglegs ^ | 10-30-15 | JoeDanMedia
    Conservative political commentary with a humorous presentation by a good ol' country boy.
  • Dr. Kent Hovind Endorses Hillary Clinton for President

    11/18/2015 8:29:59 AM PST · by US Navy Vet · 54 replies
    You Tube ^ | Nov 17, 2015
    Dr. Kent Hovind Endorses Hillary Clinton for President
  • Today's Toons 11/18/15

    11/18/2015 4:05:00 AM PST · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 11/18/15 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • The Craven Cry for ‘Civility’

    11/17/2015 11:27:39 AM PST · by DUMBGRUNT · 19 replies
    WSJ ^ | 16 Nov 2015 | WILLIAM MCGURN
    The Hesburgh letter recognized “the validity of protest” but made clear that any group that “substituted force for rational persuasion, be it violent or nonviolent,” would be given 15 minutes to meditate. Students who persisted would have their IDs confiscated and be “suspended from this community.” On cue, Yale President Peter Salovey calls for civility and has repeated Yale’s commitment to free expression. But at a moment when people thirst for a university president who will back up his words, Mr. Salovey, like so many others, apologizes. “We have failed you,” he told protestors. Indeed they have failed. Just not...