Humor (General/Chat)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Lighten the Load with a Laugh;)

    03/23/2017 2:58:27 PM PDT · by sodpoodle · 44 replies
    unknown | 3/23/2017 | self
    Why Italians Can't be Paramedics ... Vinny and Sal are out in the woods hunting when suddenly Sal grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. Vinny whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He tells the operator, "I think Sal is dead! What should I do? The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence. And then a gun shot is heard. Vinny's voice comes back on...
  • Malia Obama Looka Super Unhappy As She Heads To Another Long Shift ('long hours' getting to her?)

    03/23/2017 1:36:21 PM PDT · by drewh · 69 replies
    OK Magazine ^ | 2 hours ago | staff
    Malia Obama continues to look super unhappy as she heads into yet another long shift at The Weinstein Company in New York City. Sporting a burgundy jacket and a pair of black pants, the former president's daughter, who is currently interning at the prestigious business, appeared cold, tired, and unhappy. But this isn't the first time Malia's seemed miserable to be heading into work. Are the long hours getting to her? Click through the gallery to see the 18-year-old looking grumpier than ever before
  • Today's Toons 3/23/17

    03/23/2017 3:34:54 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 10 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 3/23/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Today's Toons 3/22/17

    03/22/2017 3:31:42 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 3/22/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • VIDEO: Soccer Player Mohammed Anas Thanks ‘my Wife and my Girlfriend’ in Postgame Speech

    03/21/2017 9:10:22 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 14 replies
    New York Daily News ^ | Saturday, March 18, 2017 | NICHOLAS PARCO
    He’s bending it like Beckham to try and get out of this one. Ghanaian soccer player Mohammed Anas was named the man of the match for his effort in Free State Stars’ 2-2 draw with Ajax Cape Town on Friday evening, but during his postgame speech he became the man in the doghouse for thanking one too many ladies. “Firstly I appreciate my fans,” he started. “And my wife and my girlfriend.” Immediately realizing his mistake, Anas fumbled over his next few words before clarifying. “I’m so sorry, my wife!” he said. “I love you so much from my heart....
  • Today's Toons 3/21/17

    03/21/2017 3:34:36 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 3/21/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Portland to Put Homeless People in Homeowners’ Backyards ( re-run but the comments are funnier)

    03/20/2017 7:05:02 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 53 replies
    gateway pundit ^ | 3-20-17 | Cristina Laila
    Jay Patriot • 5 hours ago This is absolutely hilarious! The hobos will lounge around their pod all day, smoking weed and drinking booze while they wait for the idiot homeowner to come home from work and feed them. This program will be fun to watch and I hope that neighbors with brains will chronicle this insanity and share it with the world. Also, I really like the idea of the see-thru pod that is depicted. Nothing nicer than looking out your window and seeing your hobo slamming his old lady, boppin' his boloney, shooting up heroin, smoking meth, etc...
  • Drain the Swamp. . . This is what I picture when I think of that. (YouTube Video)

    03/20/2017 3:31:23 PM PDT · by Swordmaker · 9 replies
    I could have sworn I saw Mitch McConnel going down for the third time hand in hand with NY Senator Chuckie Schumer and San Francisco Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Rep. Maxine Waters (floating by upside down), I could have sworn a capsized canoe went by that once might have held Senator Patricia "Pocahontas" Warran, not to mention Rino Sen. John McCain, and a host of other putrescence from both houses of the Democrat Party. . . Not to mention a lot of Deep State bureaucrats. There's a lot of hide bound frozen-in-place-obstructionist-government appointees and just plain grassroot Leftwing Democrat Journalists...
  • Wife thought he was attacked after he suffered burns on his chest, arm and hand

    03/20/2017 11:59:13 AM PDT · by Swordmaker · 87 replies
    Daily Mail UK ^ | 17 March 2017 | UPDATED: 21:23 EDT | By Amie Gordon
    Coroner to warn Apple over potentially lethal iPhone chargers after man electrocuted himself while charging his phone in the bath 32-year-old Richard Bull plugged his iPhone charger into an extension cord He rested the phone on his chest while in the bath and electrocuted himself Coroner warned the devices can be as dangerous as a hairdryer in a bathroom For Mailonline A coroner is to warn Apple that iPhone chargers can be potentially lethal after a man was electrocuted in the bath. Richard Bull from Ealing in west London was pronounced dead by paramedics in his home on December...
  • Trump Victory Comilation - SJW, Feminist, Celebrity Meltdowns (Youtube)

    03/20/2017 10:44:24 AM PDT · by simpson96 · 10 replies
    Youtube ^ | 3/20/2017 | Staff
    Good video to bookmark and enjoy. Over 90 minutes of fun.”Trump Victory Comilation - SJW, Feminist, Celebrity Meltdowns”
  • Wife of Wichita State Coach ‘Asked to Leave’ NCAA Seat For Belligerent Behavior (hammered drunk)

    03/20/2017 10:12:17 AM PDT · by drewh · 34 replies ^ | | 9:38 am, March 20th, 2017 | by Joe DePaolo
    It was a close, emotional game Sunday afternoon in Indianapolis between Wichita State and Kentucky. And according to several reports, one prominent fan may have gotten a bit too into the action. Several outlets posted photos and video of Lynn Marshall, the wife of Wichita State head coach Gregg Marshall, engaging in some spirited behavior during the game. Several reports indicated that her behavior turned belligerent, to the point where she was asked by arena security to leave her seat. And one report said that MarshallÂ’s daughter admitted that her mom was drunk. Also on Mediaite James Comey: Our Analysts...
  • New York's Liberals Make Themselves Look Dumb When Asked About FLOTUS...

    03/20/2017 5:55:24 AM PDT · by muktar96 · 3 replies
    YouTube ^ | March 19, 2017 | Joey jewasacky
    You have to watch this, New York liberals become victims of a major double standard on Trump and Trump-Haters. When asked about Designers refusing to Dress Trump They Say YES! THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO! But when asked about The Christian Bakery Refusing To Bake a Cake, it's RACIST! DISCRIMINATORY! .... Ultimately showing the fallacy they get involved in
  • Today's Toons 3/20/17

    03/20/2017 3:58:36 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 18 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 3/20/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Witness describes terrifying moment man grabbed by crocodile

    03/20/2017 12:43:46 AM PDT · by LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget · 30 replies
    The Courier-Mail ^ | March 19, 2017 10:07pm | Clare Armstrong, James Law,
    ... Lee De Paauw was mauled by a crocodile after leaping into a river at Innisfail on a so-called “dare” and was witnessed “screaming and splashing the second he hit the water”.... Whitsunday MP Jason Costigan said most locals would know not to jump into the Johnstone River. “Most people have got common sense ... we can’t legislate to protect dickheads, but we need to be protecting the community, public safety and our tourism reputation are priority,” he said.
  • 4 Pages of Michelle Obama’s Personal Diary Leaked To The Press (satire, but funny and accurate)

    03/19/2017 7:41:54 PM PDT · by drewh · 6 replies
    A new hacktivist group calling themselves “Obamanonamous” has surfaced, promising to do all they can to expose the former president, his colleagues and his family as the socialist, fascist, communist dictators they actually were. Their manifesto, released this morning to The New York Post, states that their mission is to destroy whatever legacy the Obama presidency had left behind and to make sure that history remembers that the illegal administration, led by na foreign usurper, should never have been in the White House at all. Their forte’ is digital espionage and they have already promised a plethora of information hacked...
  • WATCH: Toddlers skip sleep to party in bedroom

    03/18/2017 6:45:00 PM PDT · by lowbridge · 55 replies ^ | March 18, 2017
    The proud parents of twin boys in New York found out why their toddlers seemed like they hadn't been sleeping through the night. Because the toddlers definitely were not sleeping. Video recorded by Jonathan and Susana Balkin on their Nest home monitoring system shows 2-year-old twins, Andrew and Ryan having a gymnastics roll-around instead of getting much-needed sleep. The boys easily climbed in and out of their cribs, which are side-by-side in their shared bedroom. They proceeded to line pillows along the floor and do summersaults, and then took rests on the couch together, before going back to their floor...
  • 'Come in and try the worst meatball sandwich': Diners share hilarious restaurant signs and menus

    03/18/2017 4:41:45 PM PDT · by Morgana · 22 replies
    daily mail uk ^ | march 18, 2017 | Naomi Leach For Mailonline
    Lighthearted restaurants across the world are serving up a side of laughter. Rather than just listing their food options, comedy menu fails and hilarious restaurant signs have been keeping eagle-eyed patrons entertained while they dine. From one eatery revelling in its bad meatball sandwich review on Yelp to passive aggressive warnings of free concussion if diners dare take photos of their food, some owners like to create a memorable dialogues with their clientele. But for others it's the well-placed typo or mis-translation that is sure to raise eyebrows. Forget jerk chicken, you might be more taken with the Chicken rude...
  • Dinesh D'Souza goes UNCHAINED at Trinity University

    03/18/2017 9:09:24 AM PDT · by Robert DeLong · 23 replies
    YouTube ^ | March 14, 2017 | Dinesh D'Souza
    In another #onlyatYAF lecture, Dinesh D'Souza blasts the left for their fascist roots and anti-minority bigotry, two things they have become adept at throwing at the right. In fact, the history of the Democratic Party is a history of corruption, bigotry, and totalitarianism. Dinesh D'Souza is UNCHAINED at Trinity University. Watch to see more!
  • Bergdorf blonde: Hillary and Huma spotted after day at top store's salon

    03/18/2017 5:10:58 AM PDT · by drpix · 53 replies ^ | 3/17/17 | Chris Spargo
    Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin were spotted together for the first time in months on Thursday - with the pair stopping by the Bergdorf Goodman salon for a quick cut and color... Huma on the other hand seems to have tagged along for work purposes - with photos showing that Hillary's longtime aide did not have anything done to her tresses on Thursday... {Ha! Ha!, Ha!} Those same photos also show that she was tasked with carrying her boss' bag in addition to her own on the way out, all while trying to maintain her balance on the ice-covered sidewalk...
  • A silly start to Saturday

    03/18/2017 4:55:52 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 42 replies
    unknown | 3/18/2017 | self
    A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. " Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little teed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. " How come I...
  • Tim Allen on Hollywood’s Anti-Trump Thought Police: It’s ‘Like ’30s Germany’

    03/18/2017 4:49:00 AM PDT · by grayboots · 22 replies
    Breitbart ^ | 3/17/2017 | Daniel Nussbaum
    Tim Allen opened up briefly about what it means to be a conservative in Hollywood in 2017 during an interview with late-night host Jimmy Kimmel Thursday night, explaining that one must be “real careful” in talking about President Donald Trump or else risk being beaten up. “You’ve gotta be real careful around here. You get beat up if you don’t believe what everybody believes,” the 63-year-old Last Man Standing star told Kimmel when asked about his attendance at Trump’s inauguration in January. “This is like ’30s Germany. I don’t know what happened,” he added. “If you’re not part of the...
  • Friends in Safe Spaces

    03/18/2017 4:48:03 AM PDT · by outofsalt · 3 replies
    youtube ^ | 3/8/17 | Steve "Mudflap" McGrew & Chad Prather
    A great remake of a Garth Brooks classic.
  • Nation Celebrates Devout Christian Missionary By Getting Totally Hammered (satire)

    03/17/2017 9:25:10 AM PDT · by fungoking · 19 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | 3/17/17 | Staff
    U.S.—Reports from around the country Friday indicated that celebrations in honor of Christian missionary Saint Patrick consisted primarily of consuming large amounts of alcohol in order to get “totally plastered.” Get the Bee delivered straight to your inbox. Partygoers around the nation and world declared their deep level of respect and admiration for the missionary by pounding all sorts of green beer, hard liquor, wine, and mixed drinks throughout the day and into the night, sources confirmed. “I’d like to dedicate this to the great ambassador of the one glorious gospel to the lost souls of Ireland,” one man in Boston declared just...

    03/17/2017 5:56:20 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 43 replies
    Happy St. Patricks Day All Ah....let's start if off with a good pun.  Right?  What did you say?  So that's what's at the end of the rainbow...
  • Today's Toons 3/17/17

    03/17/2017 3:26:27 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 3/17/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Romo traded to Steelers

    03/16/2017 9:06:16 AM PDT · by tx_eggman · 26 replies
    The Fake ESPN ^ | The Fake ESPN
    Romo Traded to Steelers Romo Traded to Steelers
  • Start today with a Smile

    03/16/2017 4:20:37 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 15 replies
    unknown | 3/16/2017 | self
    >>>>> CHILDLIKE HONESTY ….These are cute ________________________________ Children are so honest !! While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, “I know how you feel. My Mom makes me ride in the stroller too.”
  • Today's Toons 3/16/17

    03/16/2017 3:41:53 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 3/16/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • UNDERCOVER VIDEO: Anti-Free Speech Group Crashed by Crowder (Me)!

    03/15/2017 4:50:56 PM PDT · by StevenCrowder · 23 replies ^ | 03/15/2017 | Steven Crowder
    This is as Orwellian as anything I've ever seen. Went to South by Southwest and attended some of their activism panels. It was terrifying. We'll be exposing more of it in weeks to come.
  • Woman Crashes Car Into Storefront - Chases Men Filming

    03/15/2017 1:38:35 PM PDT · by Bon mots · 27 replies
    YouTube ^ | March 15, 2017 | MannyMangera4u
    Woman crashes her car into the front of a store. A couple of men try filming and she freaks out - chasing and screaming at them while attempting to attack. The men are not able to control their laughter as they capture the entire freakout on film.
  • Today's Toons 3/15/17

    03/15/2017 3:40:33 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 3/15/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Clap your Hands.

    03/14/2017 9:36:52 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 5 replies
    safeshare ^ | 3/14/2017 | self
    Still laughing?
  • Today's Toons 3/14/17

    03/14/2017 3:55:31 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 3/14/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • 3.14 essential reads about π for Pi Day ...[HAPPY PI DAY!]

    03/14/2017 2:31:37 AM PDT · by Daffynition · 56 replies
    The Conversation ^ | March 14, 2017 | staff reporter
    On March 14, or 3/14, mathematicians and other obscure-holiday aficionados celebrate Pi Day, honoring π, the Greek symbol representing an irrational number that begins with 3.14. Pi, as schoolteachers everywhere repeat, represents the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter.
  • 'Smart vibrator' maker settles suit from outraged users

    03/13/2017 6:56:38 PM PDT · by fruser1 · 103 replies
    Fox News ^ | 13 March 2017 | Rob Quinn
    Standard Innovation Corp., the company behind the "We-Vibe" smart vibrator, has agreed to pay up to $10,000 to customers who used a smartphone app that allowed one partner to remotely control settings like vibration intensity... ...her vibrator was tracking information, including temperature and vibration level, and sending it back to the company's servers in Canada
  • Literacy Challenge

    03/13/2017 9:08:46 PM PDT · by Disambiguator · 30 replies
    My fevered mind | 3/13/2017 | Disambiguator
    Use the following words in a sentence together: cattywompus flibbertigibbet twitterpated
  • Freep a Poll!(Which is the biggest 'fake news' agency?)

    03/13/2017 6:17:04 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 21 replies
    WND ^ | 3-7-17 | WND
    Which is the biggest 'fake news' agency? Fox News Breitbart Associated Press WikiLeaks Wall Street Journal USA Today Chicago Tribune Los Angeles Times New York Times Washington Post NPR NBC CBS ABC CNN Other
  • The Lion King Jungle Police

    03/13/2017 6:06:45 PM PDT · by Morgana · 3 replies
    uploaded by bmbxox ^ | Published on Sep 19, 2014 | 3 Israeli Police Officers
    The Lion King Jungle Police

    03/13/2017 12:47:10 PM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 5 replies
    Volkswagen's solution to suicide bombers!
  • Today's Toons 3/13/17

    03/13/2017 3:46:55 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 3/13/17 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Wayne Allyn Root: POTUS Trump Like ‘A Beautiful Wife Who Makes Passionate Love to You Every Day'

    03/12/2017 1:01:28 PM PDT · by drewh · 28 replies
    Right Wing Watch ^ | Marxh 12 2017 ast | Kyle Manta
    Right-wing commentator Wayne Allyn Root recently declared that for business owners, the president is like a beautiful wife who “makes passionate love to you every day, seven days a week.” Root made the comments earlier this week, where he said that he never tried to start a business during Barack Obama’s presidency since, according to Root, the former president hated the business community. But now Root says that he has been hard at work raising millions of dollars to start new businesses and hire hundreds of people, all thanks to the love and support from Trump. “There is only one...
  • Why Was Steve Bannon's Hot Tub Filled with Acid? (future Woodward and Bernsteins on the case...)

    03/12/2017 11:34:12 AM PDT · by drewh · 50 replies
    Esquire Magazine ^ | 1 hour ago | Peter Wade
    The Washington Post reported a story on Saturday investigating counselor to the president Steve Bannon's legal residence, since no one really knows where he lives. But in the course of that investigation, they uncovered something that is even more disturbing: a hot tub at a house where Bannon claimed to live looked like it was filled with acid. The Post started looking into Bannon because while he claimed residency in Florida, he was spending most of his time in Washington, D.C., but his address was listed as his business manager's office in California. In fact, prosecutors in Miami have opened...
  • Daylight Savings Time - Grandpa Jones

    03/11/2017 7:14:48 PM PST · by Beowulf9 · 16 replies

    03/11/2017 8:28:12 AM PST · by bigbob · 18 replies
    YouTube ^ | 1-16-17 | 2JohnnyT
    What can MSNBC CUPCAKE KATIE TUR do when propeller topped SPONGEBOB rolls up on her live broadcast, in front of Trump Tower, spitting TRUTH? Well, the cupcake crumbles....... a RENEGADE from RED HOOK PRODUCTION Inc. 2017 (Johnny T. Sollitto)
  • The Komodo Dragon Expert

    03/10/2017 9:16:41 PM PST · by TBP · 28 replies
    Wonderful comedy routine by the great Bob and Ray.
  • Friends in Safe Spaces. Chad Prather and Steve Mudflap McGrew aka Larry the Liberal

    03/10/2017 8:40:24 PM PST · by bigbob
    YouTube ^ | 3-8-17 | Steve Mudflap McGrew
    Friends in Safe Spaces. Chad Prather and Steve Mudflap McGrew aka Larry the Liberal
  • Make Aladdin truly Feminist (Petition upcoming Disney live action movie)

    03/10/2017 7:22:53 PM PST · by dynachrome · 11 replies ^ | 3-8-17 | Lindiwe Mabindisa, Cape Town, South Africa
    In the original Aladdin cartoon it is quite clear that Jafar is gay but this is portrayed in a negative way. His mannerisms and flamboyance used to characterize him as Other. I think it would be wonderful if his Homosexuality was embraced and acknowledged as something to be proud of and not despised or reviled as villainous. It would do so much to encourage young gay and trans kids whom have watched the original and will watch the live action film, and were/are made to feel like they have more in common with the bad ones( evil villain) because of...
  • Malia Obama Has New Suitor: 'Black Beatle' Swae Lee (he will 'do it like a gentleman!')

    03/10/2017 2:54:16 PM PST · by drewh · 25 replies
    Just Jared ^ | 1 HOUR AGO | staff
    Malia Obama has a secret (or not-so-secret) admirer! The 18-year-old daughter of former president Barack Obama has a new suitor in Swae Lee of the band Rae Sremmurd (who have made the Mannequin Challenge song “Black Beatles” famous). When recently questioned at LAX Airport about which artists he would like to collaborate with, Swae told TMZ, “I want to write for Adele. I want to do some crazy s–t I never did before, you know?” “Hell yeah,” he went on. “Malia Obama get at me. I know you’re on vacation.” Swae said he would take Malia to the Bahamas on...
  • Madonna Warns of ‘New Age of Tyranny’ in Feminist Short Film

    03/10/2017 2:04:19 PM PST · by drewh · 29 replies
    Big Hollywood ^ | march 10 2017 ast | Jerome Hudson
    Madonna celebrated International Women’s Day Wednesday by releasing a short film titled “Her-Story: Women Who Fight For Freedom.” The 12-minute black-and-white video was directed by fashion photography duo Luigi & Iango in collaboration with Vogue Germany. The video montage is broken into eight different chapters, each showing scenes of the singer smoking cigarettes in a foggy alley, engaging in choreographed dance sequences, and unfurling a large banner with a message that reads: “We should all be feminist.” The video, which is “dedicated to all women who fight for freedom,” also features sound bites from Madonna’s controversial speech last month at...
  • ‘Giraffe Mom’ From Viral Video Gives Birth Before April the Actual Giraffe

    03/10/2017 12:28:35 PM PST · by nickcarraway · 2 replies
    KTLA ^ | MARCH 9, 2017
    Erin Dietrich, known as "the giraffe mom" after her video went viral over the weekend, has given birth to a baby boy. On Sunday, Dietrich went live on Facebook in a giraffe mask and impersonated the pregnant giraffe April. The Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, mom's video, which has over 30 million views, is about eight minutes long. In it, Dietrich can be seen pacing her room, sitting in a chair and even dancing. On Wednesday night, Dietrich delivered. Meanwhile, April -- the actual giraffe -- has been livestreamed for about two weeks now. The Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New...