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Humor (General/Chat)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Signature Slogans of the 12 Zodiac Signs

    08/28/2014 12:23:24 PM PDT · by walford · 37 replies
    Facebook ^ | 01/17/2014 | walford
    #Aries: “HOLD MY BEER. I'M GONNA TRY SOMETHING!” [usually followed by an ambulance trip] #Taurus: “Because I don’t want to.” #Gemini: “I love you. I hate you.” #Cancer: “Nobody understands me.” #Leo: “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” #Virgo: “Nevermind, I’ll do it myself.” #Libra: “But on the other hand...” #Scorpio: “No, I didn’t.” #Sagittarius: “DON’T WORRY, I GOT THIS!” #Capricorn: “There are two ways of doing things: my way and the wrong way.” #Aquarius: “I need my space.” #Pisces: “Stop it! JUST STOP IT!!” [because they tend to get drawn into other people's drama]
  • Hiss Torie

    08/28/2014 10:21:01 AM PDT · by Lazamataz · 72 replies
    8/28/2014 | Laz
    Lazamataz's Hiss Torie Book so far: During Woe, Woe Too, the Not Seas rose to power and started the Third Rice. They singled out the Shoes and put them in Constant Tray Sun camps, which marked the beginning of the Hall of Cost. In may ways, the Die As Poorer of the Jews from Germany resembled the South African experience with App Heart Hate and the Ukrainian Hole o' Dough More. These and other Arm A'Gettin -like situations are things we can never forget. Help me write the rest of my Hiss Torie book!
  • Fargo Cop shoots unarmed cow, town braces for bovine riots

    08/28/2014 7:37:04 AM PDT · by laotzu · 52 replies
    The Peoples Cube ^ | 8/26/14 | Red Square
    A resident of Cass County, ND, has warned the People's Cube of the rising tensions between the local community and the bovine population after a Cass County Sheriff's Deputy shot and killed an unarmed cow who allegedly attacked him and pushed the uniformed officer to the ground after he produced his credentials and read the Miranda rights. While the details of the early morning incident in Interstate 94 west of Fargo still remain unclear, a PETA representative has flown from Washington, D.C., with a team of lawyers and forensic experts, demanding an independent autopsy. The PETA team have met with...
  • Today's Toons 8/28/14

    08/28/2014 1:32:31 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/28/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Some Very British Problems (How British Are You?) (Imgur Pics)

    08/27/2014 2:56:56 PM PDT · by beaversmom · 24 replies
    Imgur ^ | August 27, 2014 | Gnarw0lves
    Click on the link for 10 British dilemmas
  • Things I've learned from watching C.O.P.S.

    08/27/2014 10:52:27 AM PDT · by walford · 102 replies
    Facebook ^ | ongoing | walford
    If you say "I didn't do nothing man" enough times, the officer will typically think, "ya know, this man is so adamant that he's innocent, I believe him. I'll let him go." If you struggle hard enough with the police while they're trying to put cuffs on you, the officers will typically think, "this one has spirit; I'll let him go." The one with no shirt is the innocent man. Only innocent people run from the police. "I wuz scurred!" Even if the officer finds contraband on the subject, if he's black, the officer is in reality hassling him on...
  • Today's Toons 8/27/14

    08/27/2014 1:36:48 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 7 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/27/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • The College Football Czar: Week 1

    08/26/2014 7:01:46 PM PDT · by Daniel Clark · 9 replies
    The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press ^ | August 26, 2014 | Daniel Clark
    The College Football Czar: Week 1 If you're reading the College Football Czar’s week one picks, that must mean that yet another long summer of terrible TV is about to come to a merciful end. So – if you’ve been keeping a football around the house to talk to, with a face drawn on it like Wilson from Cast Away ... If you’ve gone to an empty football stadium during the offseason, sat there for hours, and told yourself that the reason there was no scoring was that Boston College was playing ... If a genie recently granted you whatever...
  • Mohammad Assaf Does #RubbleBucketChallenge

    08/26/2014 2:53:06 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 8 replies
    Saudi Gazette ^ | Tuesday, August 26, 2014
    Forget the Ice Bucket Challenge, it’s a different kinda bucket challenge that’s sweeping the “sandy” Middle East this week! Using #RubbleBucketChallenge to raise awareness on social media, campaigners have swapped ice-and-water-filled containers for sand and rocks. The trend appears to have been started by Jordanian comedian Mohammed Darwaza last Friday, reports The Independent. This challenge is closer to home for Palestinian superstar Mohammad Assaf than others, who’s joined the trend in support of his hometown Gaza, that’s been under attack by Israel for two months now. Assaf knows exactly how his people are feeling; he went through the same exact...
  • Playin' Two Rounds (Song Parody)

    08/26/2014 9:16:25 AM PDT · by LonePalm · 6 replies
    LonePalm | 26 August 2014 | LonePalm
    Playin’ two RoundsWords and Music to Draggin' The Line by Tommy James and Bob King Parody and Copyright by LonePalm Makin' vacation the old, hard way. Puttin' and drivin' hard day by day. I dig blow and grass and the well kept grounds. Playin' two rounds [Playin’ two rounds]. Michael Brown is pushin’ up Daisies. Raisin’ more funds from my far left crazies. They dig blow and grass and the well kept grounds. Playin’ two rounds [Playin’ two rounds]. Playin’ two rounds [Playin’ two rounds]. I feel grand. Got lots of cash in hand. Speeches are all pre-planned. What can’t...
  • Body of Woman Missing for 58 Years Discovered

    08/26/2014 5:59:39 AM PDT · by Hot Tabasco · 14 replies
    8/26/2014 | Hot Tabasco
    The body of a woman missing for 58 years has been discovered. Husband, who has a history of spousal abuse, is key suspect.....
  • Today's Toons 8/26/14

    08/26/2014 3:39:00 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/26/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • A Video On How Government Works:

    Of course this was candid and unrehearsed:
  • ISIS ALS ice bucket challenge

    08/25/2014 2:18:57 PM PDT · by sopwith · 6 replies
    you tube ^ | Aug 21, 2014 | you tube
    watch it
  • How long to go 80 miles at 80MPH?

    08/25/2014 11:19:44 AM PDT · by econjack · 164 replies
    Facebook ^ | Augusts 5, 2014 | unknown
    A difficult math question. One would hope that these two did not finish high school. If they did, public education needs to refund our money.
  • You've Been Taking Off Your T-shirt Wrong (video)

    08/25/2014 11:53:01 AM PDT · by EveningStar · 22 replies
    YouTube ^ | April 16, 2014 | CrazyRussianHacker
    You've Been Taking Off Your T-shirt Wrong
  • Today's Toons 8/25/14

    08/25/2014 1:14:14 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 8/25/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Stanek Sunday funnies, 8-24-14

    08/24/2014 9:43:57 PM PDT · by Morgana · 1 replies
    Jill Stanek ^ | Jill Stanek
    Good morning, and Happy Sunday! Here were my top five favorite political cartoons this week. Be sure to vote for your fav in the poll at the end of this post! We begin with a cartoon a bit out of our norm, an illustration by Rod Anderson at the Christian Post to accompany its article, “Will sheer numbers win the abortion fight?”, about a study by researchers at Northwestern University indicating pro-lifers are winning the abortion fight simply by having more babies than abortion proponents… comics on link.....
  • Movie for a Sunday afternoon: "The Awful Truth"(1937)

    08/24/2014 10:35:06 AM PDT · by ReformationFan · 12 replies
    You Tube ^ | 1937 | Leo McCarey

    08/24/2014 12:11:18 AM PDT · by Impala64ssa · 46 replies
    You Tube ^ | TheFineBros
    Kids reacting to technology of the past, this time around, it's rotary phones. Amazing how technology changes so quickly.
  • A Line Is Drawn in the Desert- At Burning Man (luxury accommodations for tech one percenters)

    08/23/2014 10:15:58 PM PDT · by dennisw · 24 replies
    nytimes ^ | 8 20, 2014 | By NICK BILTONAUG
    There are two disciplines in which Silicon Valley entrepreneurs excel above almost everyone else. The first is making exorbitant amounts of money. The second is pretending they don’t care about that money. If you have never been to Burning Man, your perception is likely this: a white-hot desert filled with 50,000 stoned, half-naked hippies doing sun salutations while techno music thumps through the air. A few years ago, this assumption would have been mostly correct. But now things are a little different. Over the last two years, Burning Man, which this year runs from Aug. 25 to Sept. 1, has...
  • Playful Beluga Whale Teases Kids

    08/23/2014 5:48:17 AM PDT · by ozarkgirl · 17 replies ^ | 08/23/14 | youtube
    Adorable. Beluga Whale teases kids
  • Fergus/Croche parody

    08/22/2014 11:30:18 AM PDT · by 2harddrive · 2 replies
    Vanity | Vanity
    Bad, Bad Michael Brown Well the north side of St Louie’ Is the baddest part of town And if you go down there You better just beware Of a man name of Michael Brown Now Michael more than trouble You see he stand ‘bout six foot four All those downtown ladies call him "Treetop Lover" All the men just call him "Sir" And he's bad, bad Michael Brown The baddest man in the whole damn town Badder than old King Kong And meaner than a junkyard dog Now Michael he a gambler And he like his fancy clothes And he...
  • Bender Shuts Down New Haven Line

    08/22/2014 10:46:37 AM PDT · by Rodamala · 15 replies
    Railpace Newsmagazine ^ | August, 2014 | staff
    On June 20 Metro-North's New Haven Line was shut down for nearly three hours as a result of a junior high student's cardboard robot having been left on an overhead bridge near the Metro-North station at Fairfield, CT. At About 5:30 a.m., a town street sweeper saw it and alerted the Fairfield police who, in turn called in MTA police and a State Police bomb squad and helicopter to seal off nearby streets and investigate; this action also caused M-NR to suspend service. It took the investigators nearly three hourse to realize that the "suspicious object" was merely a homemade...

    08/22/2014 5:33:38 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 80 replies
    Random Silliness When : On Friday, DUHDo you know someone that drives like this? Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" said the lawyer.Farmer Joe responded, "Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer...
  • Today's Toons 8/22/24

    08/22/2014 3:22:46 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 16 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 8/22/24 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Proofreading is a dying art

    08/21/2014 1:16:03 PM PDT · by NKP_Vet · 39 replies
    Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say? Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day. I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny... Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says No crap, really? Ya think? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Now that's taking things a bit far!...
  • Bill Clinton Now Enjoys $1,000 Cigars

    08/21/2014 5:35:04 AM PDT · by W. · 48 replies
    The Weekly Standard ^ | 7/21/2014 | DANIEL HALPER
    Bill Clinton enjoys a Gurkha cigar, "the Rolls Royce of the cigar industry." "The cigars are close to $1,000 each," says the cigar boss.
  • New law only allows police of same ethnicity to shoot suspects

    08/21/2014 5:00:49 AM PDT · by orwell2112 · 16 replies
    Thoughtgrime ^ | August 21, 2014 | Sisyphus
    FERGUSON, MO. – (TG) Attorney General Eric Holder, who flew to Ferguson to be close to The Troubles, had a surprise for a torn community aching for a meaningful solution to racial tension betwixt law enforcement and citizenry. On Wednesday, he announced a sweeping edict that would require any U.S. peace officer discharging a weapon against a suspect to be of the same ethnic group as the suspect. At the time of Holder’s announcement, the pronunciamento was a fait accompli, as President Obama had privately birthed the requirement via executive action during his brief return to the capital on Monday....
  • Today's Toons 8/21/14

    08/21/2014 1:11:28 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 18 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/21/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • 'SNL' Political Secrets Revealed: Hillary's "Entitlement," the Sketch Obama Killed, etc.

    08/20/2014 9:10:08 AM PDT · by LRoggy · 33 replies
    Hollywood Reporter ^ | 8/20/14 | Tom Shales and James Miller
    In an exclusive book excerpt, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and even Sarah Palin recount the inner battle between the left and right This story first appeared in the Aug. 29 issue of The Hollywood Reporter magazine. From Chevy Chase's bumbling commander in chief to Tina Fey's dim-witted veep wannabe, political satire always has been a part of Saturday Night Live. And over its 39 seasons, actual politicians have clamored to be in on the joke. President Ford, running for a second term against a peanut farmer named Jimmy Carter, appeared on the show's very first season, in April 1976, to...
  • Freeper Fun: Type a sentence that wouldn't have made sense 10 years ago ...

    08/20/2014 8:11:36 AM PDT · by Heartlander · 77 replies
    yelp ^ | Misc
    From Yelp: Google is evil, Apple is a monopoly, and Microsoft is the underdog Skype you later! I've got Angry Birds on my phone. I finally got my blu-ray to stream netflix! Can I see your gluten free menu? She keeps twittering me, so I friended her. I hope she's got Bluetooth." That's gonna go on youtube.
  • In dark moments, one does need a hint of laughter to stave off the insanity and depression.

    08/20/2014 8:05:31 AM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 5 replies
    Youtube ^ | Nov 8 2009 | R Wyatt
    Just wanted to lift the spirit of fellow freepers, if only for a moment.
  • Politics: Enjoy this 'greatest hits' compilation of Nancy Pelosi's most incoherent ramblings

    08/20/2014 3:57:22 AM PDT · by Morgana · 8 replies
    CainTV ^ | Herman Cain
    So much crazy packed into three minutes! Sure. We've all heard Nancy Pelosi say something kooky. Practically every time she steps up to a microphone something ridiculous flops out of her mouth, so her crackpot ramblings aren't really shocking anymore. It's pretty much a mathematical certainty that - by now - you've heard her say something incredibly stupid. However, you usually access Pelosi's bizarre behavior in dribs and drabs. You get a sentence here, a phrase there, or an awkward stare every now and then. It's enough to tell you something's wrong, but it doesn't really portray the full, magnificent,...
  • Today's Toons 8/20/14

    08/20/2014 1:15:13 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/20/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Chris Rock - How not to get your butt kicked by the police!

    08/19/2014 2:58:52 PM PDT · by grundle · 14 replies
    YouTube ^ | Chris Rock
  • The Universal Crazy - Hot Matrix

    08/19/2014 2:52:24 PM PDT · by kjam22 · 6 replies
    Youtube ^ | 8-19-2014 | Kjam22
    Thought this was pretty funny. I don't believe its made it's way around here. It's Tuesday humor and this is worth watching! Crazy Hot Matrix
  • Why John Oliver is wrong about native advertising

    08/19/2014 6:40:25 AM PDT · by ensignsj · 15 replies
    Strategy Online ^ | 8/18/14 | Scott Ensign
    Comedian John Oliver recently took an admittedly pretty funny shot at the concept of native advertising. His basic point was that the blurring lines between objective content and marketing pieces threatens journalistic integrity and consumer trust in the media. Now, I find Oliver to be a funny and talented guy, and he’s done some spot-on stuff (particularly his most famous piece on net neutrality). However, on this topic, he’s really off-base. Native advertising is everywhere, and all signs point to it becoming even more ubiquitous, particularly as news outlets try to come up with meaningful business models for their online...
  • Today's Toons 8/19/14

    08/19/2014 1:23:10 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 8/19/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Missouri National Guard limited to tee shirts, shorts, and water guns in response to Ferguson riots

    08/18/2014 5:16:16 PM PDT · by orwell2112 · 16 replies ^ | August 18, 2014 | Sisyphus
    FERGUSON, Mo. (TG) –Missouri Governor Jay Nixon has ordered the National Guard to assist with peacekeeping efforts in Ferguson, the troubled St. Louis suburb that has been ravaged by more than a week of violent protests in reaction to the August 9 police shooting of hometown youth Michael Brown. However, in the latest effort to appease protesters, the Guard will be issued special matériel designed to portray a kinder, gentler law enforcement presence. “Folks out there want to exercise their rights and throw bricks, bottles, and maybe fire off the odd round at law enforcement, and they get frustrated when...
  • Obama eating a snow cone

    08/18/2014 3:52:11 PM PDT · by Dacula · 30 replies We all knew he had a big mouth.
  • Outrage over gossip mag’s free gay joke book (Italy)

    08/18/2014 1:04:15 PM PDT · by Olog-hai · 9 replies
    TheLocal,it ^ | 18 Aug 2014 11:45 GMT+02:00
    An Italian gossip magazine has sparked outrage after its latest edition was released with a free book containing jokes about gay people. The controversial giveaway, entitled “The Best Gay Jokes”, was attached to the latest edition of the weekly Italian gossip magazine Visto, La Stampa reported. Published in 2012 and ordinarily priced at €4.99, the book is part of a joke book series which also includes sexist jokes and jokes about Jews by Jews, among other taboo subjects. …
  • Today's Toons 8/18/14

    08/18/2014 1:14:44 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 8/18/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Ferguson Looting Said to Be Fitting Tribute to Michael Brown

    The emergence of a convenience store security video tape of Michael Brown roughing up the shopkeeper and stealing boxes of cigars was said to vindicate the looting rampage that followed his being shot by police. “All those stuffed shirts saying that our robbing stores was an inappropriate expression of our anger and grief were dead wrong,” asserted a self-identified looter who says her name is Jihadena. “One of the last things Michael did before he was gunned down was rob a store. We're just doing the work he no longer can do. What could be a more fitting tribute to...
  • Welcome to a World Where Alcohol Labels Tell the Truth

    08/15/2014 11:13:20 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 4 replies
    Metro UK ^ | Thursday 14 Aug 2014
    It’s a truth universally acknowledged that alcohol does bad things to good people. The results of which have never been made clearer than by these altered alcohol bottle labels. Question their accuracy. Go on, we dare you. True story. True, true story. If only your frenemy hadn’t recorded the evidence. Anyone care to fill us in on what happened? Anyone? Literally everywhere. The reason our phone is full of selfies with a stranger and the toilet attendant. We didn’t eat dinner so it doesn’t count. In your face. NOOOOO.
  • (YouTube)DFU POLIMERICK MINUTE: Al Gore Sues Al Jazeera

    08/15/2014 2:57:17 PM PDT · by doug from upland · 8 replies
    dfu via youtube ^ | 8-15-14 | dfu
    BWAHAHAHAHA - Al Gore Sues Al Jazeera
  • ***The Official Friday Silliness Thread***

    08/15/2014 5:27:17 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 118 replies
    Relaxation Day When : August 15th Relaxation Day is a day to kick back and do nothing. Ahhhh! What a great day. The stresses, the hustle and bustle seemingly consumes us, every day of the year. Even Sundays are no longer days of rest and relaxation. There never seems to be a day to just kick back and relax.  For those us with a hectic lifestyle, Relaxation Day is a day to look forward to. It provides a break from the madness of your busy work and personal schedule. Todays is the day to enjoy either doing absolutely nothing,...
  • Today's Toons 8/15/14

    08/15/2014 1:23:35 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 8/15/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • (YouTube)DFU POLIMERICK MINUTE: Gay Wedding Math

    08/14/2014 8:55:52 PM PDT · by doug from upland
    dfu via youtube ^ | 8-14-14 | dfu
    GAY MARRIAGE MATH in graphics and limerick
  • The return of Coach Lasso: NBC Sports Premier League Film Featuring Jason Sudeikis

    08/14/2014 5:13:21 PM PDT · by 1rudeboy · 8 replies
    YouTube ^ | August 7, 2014 | NBC
    After being fired by Tottenham Hotspur, Coach Lasso (Jason Sudeikis) is back in the US-of-A, looking to make the most of his Premier League experience. Watch the Premier League on NBC and NBCSN starting Saturday, August 16th. For more: