And gearing up for his...(ah-hem)....inauguration...
He'll need plenty of these there...(and not just for those attending)...
and one for the digital age...
Posted on 01/16/2009 5:16:26 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Proof that Barack is the Obamessiah
Obama preached to the multitude by the side of the lake.
Obama created new states from out of the void.
Obama turned whine into Kool-Aid® for his followers.
Obama came to us carried upon a donkey.
Obama triumphed over the beast, the enemy of all men.
Obama was stoned and yet he has risen.
Obama’s flock has millions of sheep.
Obama will reign over us from a house with many rooms.
You must have no other candidates before Obama.
Obama will raise voters from the dead. Count on it.
AS I recall the turbine came of of a Navy Minesweeper.
here is a story in Popular Mechanics about the jet powered loo
http://www.popsci.com/diy/article/2004-12/speeding-outhouse
Y’all have a great day
Regards
alfa6 ;>}
Vote for Barack Obama
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.
Q. Why will Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he stole the primary election fair and square.
Q. Why will Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
Q. Why will Ho Chi Minh vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
Q. Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he’s running out of George Bush jokes.
Q. Why will David Letterman vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he’s running out of Jay Leno’s George Bush jokes.
Q. Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because she’s running out of other crazy things to do.
Q. Why will Senator Ted Kennedy vote for Barack Obama?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Will Senator Larry Craig vote for Barack Obama?
A. He’ll stall first.
Q. How will Osama Bin Laden vote for Barack Obama?
A. Absentee ballot.
Q. Why will Bill Ayers vote for Barack Obama?
A. Bill thinks Obama’s the bomb.
Q. Why will sharks vote for Barack Obama?
A. Professional courtesy.
*********************
Obama Is So Pretty
Obama is so pretty that the new symbol of the Democrat Party will be a unicorn
Obama is so pretty that Bill Clinton wants to intern for him
Obama is so pretty that the White House Rose Garden will need to triple in size
Obama is so pretty that his anti-matter version is James Carville
Obama is so pretty that his supporters think that he’s smart
Obama is so pretty that he won’t ride in Ted Kennedy’s car
Obama is so pretty that he would be a 10 if his Daddy owned a liquor store
Obama is so pretty that he would even look good in a Hillary pantsuit
Obama is so pretty that when he goes to Iraq he has to wear a Burka
Obama is so pretty that he gives John Edwards makeup tips
Obama is so pretty that his mirror on the wall was struck speechless
Obama is so pretty that he can wear white after labor day
I can't be the only one who thinks this.
President-elect Obama is being criticized because his inaugural celebrations are projected to cost the taxpayers over $400 million. When asked about it, Obama explained that Ted Kennedy planned to attend and there was going to be an open bar.
President-elect Obama plans to ride in the inaugural parade without the traditional limousine. He’ll be in a sleigh pulled by reindeer.
As a precaution for the Obama presidency, the White House copy of the Constitution is being removed. It’s made from hemp.
William Shatner attended Obama’s inaugural ball. After taking a quick look around he got on his communicator and commanded, “Beam me up, Scotty. There’s no intelligent life down here.”
Q. Why did the Secret Service double security on Michelle Obama immediately after the inauguration?
A. If something happened to her, then Barack would be in charge.
Q: What will the band play at Obama’s inauguration?
A: Inhale to the chief.
Q: Why will there two presidential limousines for the inauguration?
A: So Hillary won’t know which one he’s in.
Q: What is the difference between Barack Obama and Jimmy Carter?
A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to ruin the economy.
I'm waiting to see when Hollywood takes a break from fist bumping the Obamas and starts to mock them as they have past administrations.
Remember these shows?
Oh schnipples!!!
Since Obama was elected President he has now said we as Americans can save millions of dollars. How you ask? Well Obama goes on to say that we no longer need to build a wall on the border. All of the illegal aliens are now headed to Kenya since they heard it is so easy to get American citizenship there and if you are born there you can even become president of the United States.
It wasn’t historic that a black man became President. History will be made with our nation’s second black president. He will acheive it on merit, not because “it’s different/change”.
IMO, I think Obama ruined that (or will eventually) for future black men to be president.
Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
Q. Why is Barack Obama jealous of Hillary Clinton?
A. She the one with the cojones.
Q Why is Oprah supporting Obama?
A She has a history of supporting frauds.
Q. What made Barack help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
A. The check.
Q. Why does Barack want higher taxes?
A. Cause he won’t be the one paying them.
Q: What’s the problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.
Giving money and power to Barack Obama is like giving liquor and car keys to a teenage boy. (Tip o’ the hat to P. J. O’Rourke)
Q: Why are there so few real Barack Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.
Q. What’s the difference between Pinocchio and Barack Obama?
A. Obama’s nose doesn’t grow when he lies.
Q. Candidate Obama has been telling us, “Yes We Can.” What will President Obama tell us?
A. “Yes You Will.”
Q. Why does Barack Obama support our servicemen?
A. He doesn’t.
Q. Why did Barack Obama decide to be a lawyer?
A. He didn’t want to have to work for a living.
Q: What is a lawyer gone bad called?
A: Senator Obama.
Q. What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A. Deductible.
Q. Why did Barack Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
A. The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters.
Q. Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A. It stands between him and the First.
Q. Why won’t Barack Obama’s presidential jet be flight worthy?
A. It will only have a left wing.
Marie Antoinette said, “Let them eat cake.”
Barack Obama says, “Let them eat arugala.”
Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the poor.
Barack Obama takes from the middle class and sticks it to the poor.
*********************
More Obama Is So Pretty
Obama is so pretty that Michelle carried him over the threshhold
Obama is so pretty that the Navy won’t name a submarine after him
Obama is so pretty that he knows Victoria’s Secret
Obama is so pretty that he never has that “not so fresh” feeling
Obama is so pretty that he never farts
Obama is so pretty that he won’t give Hillary Clinton his phone number
I think ole Joe’s been told not to speak. Just look adoringly at the master.
Obama and Turdgers and Bears, Oh My..
Ewwwww!
Why Beer Is Better Than Obama?
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” —Benjamin Franklin
Beer is better than Obama because
... soldiers like beer.
... sailors like beer.
... marines like beer.
... beer doesn’t come from Madrassas.
... you know what’s in beer.
... beer won’t take half your paycheck.
... beer makes life a little better.
... you’re sad if there’s no more beer.
... beer doesn’t lie.
... beer doesn’t have entitlement demands.
... beer and whine don’t mix.
... beer has a pretty good head on it.
... beer and bowling go together.
... beer and arugula don’t.
... beer doesn’t leave a bad taste in your mouth.
... beer doesn’t mind if you cling to your beer.
... beer doesn’t trash talk you behind your back.
... cold beer disproves the myth of man made global warming.
... imported beer doesn’t pretend to be domestic.
... beer likes it when I set my thermostat COLD.
... beer is GREEN only on St. Patrick’s Day.
... beer didn’t smoke pot and snort coke.
... beer is better than Vichy Water.
... beer is unpretentious.
... people in small towns cling to God, guns and beer.
... beer doesn’t promise you a free lunch.
... there ain’t no Pabst Bilal* Ribbon. Not yet anyway.
*”Bilal - Satisfies thirst; name of the Prophets Muezzin (one who calls for prayer)”
... beer won’t throw you under the bus.
... beer doesn’t cut and run.
... beer isn’t phony.
... beer doesn’t flip-flop.
... beer’s ingredients known for sure.
... beer makes people happy.
... beer is as American as apple pie.
... beer isn’t promoted on National Public Radio.
... beer doesn’t mind if you own an SUV.
... beer doesn’t care how much you make.
... a beer won’t blame America for 9/11.
... beer doesn’t whine, it bubbles.
... beer isn’t a lawyer.
... beer comes with an expiration date.
... beer and NASCAR go together.
... you’re not afraid to turn your back on a beer.
... beers don’t have friends who bombed the pentagon.
... an empty beer is better than an empty suit.
... beer minds its own business.
... beer doesn’t tell you what you want to hear.
... beer is worth what you pay for it.
... beer doesn’t lecture you about “global warming.”
... beer doesn’t care what color you are.
... beer doesn’t want to take away your gun.
... beer is popular with working people.
... beer isn’t crazy.
... beers don’t start out as empties.
... beers don’t rig elections.
... beers don’t raise taxes.
... beer and coke don’t mix.
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