How to Simulate Being A Sailor 1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray inside and out, and live in it for six months. 2. Run all the pipes and wires in your house exposed on the walls. 3. Repaint your entire house every month. 4. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of the bathtub and move the shower head to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you turn off the water while you soap down. 5. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high. 6. Once a week, blow air up your...