Free Republic

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a gracious move of bipartisanship, the Senate voted to relax rules to allow their freshman Senator Jabba The Fetterman to take a bath in the reflecting pool. The rules were immediately relaxed after the Senator from Transylvania described how he would fall into a deep depression were he to not be allowed to bathe naked in the reflecting pool. "We wouldn't want our young friend to feel uncomfortable in any way," said Senator Mitch McConnell over the span of 45 minutes. "Besides, it would be good for the American people to see what the daily life...

Less than a month after reopening, the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool is full of algae, a sea of green overshadowing the nearly two-year, $34 million renovation of the famous site. [snip] “This is a direct consequence of the fact that this is a green project,” Johnson said. “The conditions are pretty good for algae, once it gets in there.”