The month of September is officially Shameless Self-Promotion Month. And we care enough to honor that promise of self-promotion with stunning, unparalleled commitment never before seen in the world. Our competitors may shrink back in shy impotence like the girly boys they really are. But we shall never faulter. We're the best, most profitable, least worrisome, highest quality, perfect credit to our gender, brightest, silliest, nicest smelling, best dressed, most comfortable with small dogs, most talented, elite, A-list, baddest mofos, with the firmest body contours this side of Beverly Hills in all cyberspace. You have our word on it.