Tired of Chardonnay? Alsace offers an alternative to the tyranny of oak. I hope there's a sequel to "Sideways," the wine-soaked movie that's had a dramatic impact on American consumers. Since lead character Miles gushed about Pinot Noir as "haunting and brilliant," U.S. sales of Pinot are up more than 30 percent. Meanwhile, Merlot -- which Miles scorned as imbecilic -- has slumped. "Sideways" was the funniest Hollywood treatment of wine since Lucy Ricardo stomped grapes in Italy. But I don't want a sequel for artistic reasons. I want Miles to come back and trash Chardonnay. Just like Merlot, Chardonnay...