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DAVE BARRY'S ANNUAL GIFT GUIDE What's behind Santa's Ho-Ho-Ho Holiday gift-giving is a tradition that dates back roughly 2,006 years, to when the Three Wise Men went to Bethlehem with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh for the Baby Jesus. Of course the next day the Virgin Mary returned these items for store credit, because she was a low-income mother with a newborn, and as the old saying goes, ''You can't diaper a baby with frankincense.'' But it was too late: The Three Wise Men had started a tradition. And in keeping with that tradition, this holiday season millions of...

DAVE BARRY'S ANNUAL GIFT GUIDE Less stress, less mess BY DAVE BARRY Dec. 04, 2005 Hark -- Do you hear that sound? It's the radio, playing Frosty the Snowman! For the eighth or ninth time today! And that thud in the yard? Why, that's dad, falling off the ladder while attempting to hang fake icicles from the roof. And if you listen really, really hard, you can hear, softly in the distance, the sounds of shoppers trading punches over parking spots at the mall. No doubt about it: The holidays are here! Yes, it's a busy, busy time. But no...

Dave Barry's Gift Guide Dec.5,2004 From crib to grave, we've got your butt covered this holiday season This year, for our Holiday Gift Guide, we thought we'd try something different. Usually we just hurl together a bunch of stupid, useless items that no sane human would ever actually buy. But this year we thought, ''Why not, for once, do something positive? Why not do a REAL gift guide, with items that people might actually WANT to receive?'' But just then our medication wore off. So once again this year we have followed our standard Gift Guide formula. First, we scour...