Free Republic

Ignorant Voters Should Stay Home By F.R. Duplantier American citizens have the right to vote; they also have the duty to make an honest and informed choice. ROCK THE VOTE (TO SLEEP) If free markets are something you dread, Our Constitution is over your head, And American history To you is a mystery, On election day, please, stay in bed. When we vote for President, we are "selecting someone for the highest office in our land — and the most important office in the world," observes syndicated columnist Thomas Sowell. "This is someone who can take us into war, or ...

Due to the unusually large turnout expected, this year's election will be held over a two-day period. Republicans will vote on Tuesday, November 7th, Democrats on the following day.

The impeachment of President Clinton may not have led -- as it should have -- to his conviction and removal from office, but it was a necessary and meaningful public reproach for his gross misconduct. The Last Comeback It is regrettable that the House of Representatives chose to focus its impeachment inquiry on the least serious of the President's seemingly endless array of high crimes and misdemeanors, and that the Senate balked at holding him accountable even for these indiscretions. Of course, solons with secrets did have reason to fear retaliation from the Lord of the (FBI) Files, and the ...

Bush Polls 100 Percent! Surveyed spouse & self. Both voting for Bush. It's unanimous. A veritable landslide!

AL MIGHTY Gore's personal code takes priority Over that of the Moral Majority, So it's "Anything goes!" Until somebody shows A "controlling legal authority." More Politickles

INSTANT ANALYSIS Jennings, Rather, Brokaw Seem determined to jabber and jaw: They think we're too dumb To discern the outcome Of the campaign debate we just saw! More Politickles

NO SALE Downwardly spirals demand For that outdated Albert Gore brand -- The quality's cheap, The price way too steep -- And Prince Albert is soon to be canned.

"The judicial usurpation of the legislative process is almost complete." "The Supreme Court decision striking down Nebraska's partial-birth abortion law fails to recognize that states have a legitimate constitutional interest in enacting laws that draw a bright line between abortion and infanticide," declares Louisiana Special Assistant Attorney General Dorinda Bordlee. "Even more disturbing than the Supreme Court's partial-birth abortion decision itself," she contends, "is its lack of candor with the American people." To the many "well-intentioned state legislators who seek to draft new partial-birth laws designed to survive Supreme Court scrutiny," Dorinda Bordlee says, don't bother. "At least until the ...

Poll shows Bush & Gore both up 10!!!

"Concern with national moral decline is the number- one issue in this campaign, and the underlying force uniting the new Republican coalition." "Since the 1960s, the Democratic Party has increasingly focused its politics on the exploitation of perceived, or even government-exacerbated, ethnic and social divisions in America," observes Terence Jeffrey, editor of the national conservative weekly Human Events. "It has pitted black against white, poor against rich, and women against men. When the liberal elite, aligned with the Democratic Party, pushed back the frontiers of socially acceptable behavior in America, the Democrats even moved to exploit new divisions," Jeffrey recalls. ...

Random Thoughts on Taxes and Taxpayers by: F.R. Duplantier Let's start the 21st Century out right -- by repealing the Constitutional Amendment that made Big Government possible. The Clinton Creep Remember the rhetorical question the pundits used to ask about Richard Nixon: "Would you buy a used car from this man?" The implication was that he couldn't be trusted. A similar, even more cynical question has been asked about President Clinton: "Would you let this man babysit your teenaged daughter?" The automatic, instinctive answer of any responsible parent: Absolutely not! Why, then, would we let him babysit every last man, ...

Wake Up! You're Having a Nightmare by: F.R. Duplantier Three new books examine the nightmare culture that has characterized the Twentieth Century. BOOMER ANGST They'd prefer that it not be recalled How their youthful behavior appalled: "Trust none over thirty," Roared the young and the dirty, But that was before they went bald. In the preface to the newly released paperback edition of his 1993 book, The Dream and the Nightmare, Myron Magnet describes how "America tried its grand experiment with the elite cultural values of the 1960s. It loosened its crime and welfare policies," he observes, "it had its ...

ROBOVEEP R2D2 and Robbie had more Variations in speech than Al Gore: "Risky scheme, risky scheme," His unwavering theme, Is becoming a bit of a bore. More Politickles

A birthday verse for President Bill Clinton: PUTTING THE LEG IN LEGACY Nelson, Luciano, Capone -- All had nicknames uniquely their own. In Bill Clinton's case, You can bet "Cigarface" Is the moniker by which he'll be known. More Politickles

BUBBA BATH Eight years of Clintons in power Leave a taste in the mouth that is sour And the overall sense That we need a good rinse And should spend extra time in the shower.

TRUTH IN THE BALANCE The temperature's not getting higher. Our environmental future's not dire. With the best yet to come, There's no need to be glum: Al Gore, you're an ozone liar!

WILL THEY EVER LEAVE? The mood of the people is clear As November's election draws near: We've had more than our fill Of Al, Hill, and Bill And we wish they would just disappear.

PUTTING THE VICE IN VICE PRESIDENT For eight years they were joined at the head And Al Gore always did what Bill said, But now this big goof Pretends he's aloof And a man of high morals instead.

A BALANCING ACTIVIST: Satire, Short and Sweet by Erik Jay Balance. Life's all about balance. I know it's true, because my wife tells me all the time, and she speaks with unwavering accuracy. Plus she knows me inside out. I suppose I could zoom off on any number of trajectories from that launch-pad of an opener, so I'll spare you the suspense: I've got a balanced column for you today, one part book review and one part comic relief. For all of us who work and play in politics -- or its journalistic and/or entertainment divisions -- there is always ...