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DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! TODAY'S THE DAY! TODAY'S THE DAY DIRTY BEN PROMISED TO RELEASE REPORT! BUT STILL DOESN'T ANSWER ANY OF 3 SIMPLE QUESTIONS! EVEN IF REAL! THE DUMMIE "MoPAUL" TO BE NEW SPOKESMAN FOR ANDYITES, ALL OTHERS HAVING FAILED?

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! ALL QUIET ON THE ANDYITE FRONT YESTERDAY! NOTHING HAPPENED! REALLY PECULIAR! WORLD STILL AWAITS ANSWERS TO 3 SIMPLE QUESTIONS! AFTER 54 DAYS, NO ANSWERS!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! ANDYITES IN DUMMIELAND PERFORM A BALLET DES MACABRES! ANDYITES IN MALLOY DO A DANS TRES GROTESQUE! ABSENCE OF FRANKSOLICH NEVER NOTICED!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! ANDYITES SHOWING DESPERATION! STILL NOT ANSWERING 3 SIMPLE QUESTIONS! THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ANSWERED 51 DAYS AGO! DEBACLE ON MALLOY CONTINUES, AS ANDYITES CONTINUE UNRAVELING!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! INTIMIDATION TACTICS OF ANDYITES BETRAYED! QUESTIONING "ANDROID" SUDDENLY CONVERTED INTO HARD-CORE "ANDYNOID"! BULLYING TACTICS USED BY ANDYITES TO SUPPRESS TRUTH! http://smirkingchimp.com/viewtopic.php?topic=56940&forum=3

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! DEBACLE STILL ONGOING! AFTER SEVERAL HOURS, ANDYITES STILL HAVE NOT ANSWERED 3 SIMPLE QUESTIONS! THIS SIDE: COOL, CALM, AND DIRECT! THAT SIDE: EMOTIONAL, UPSET, AND NAME-CALLING! AVOIDING 3 SIMPLE EASY-TO-ANSWER QUESTIONS!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! VICTIM OF ANDYITES IN DUMMIELAND EXPOSES AN ANDYITE! THE GUMSHOE GUMMED! AND SHOED!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! LIBERALS, LEFTISTS, PROGRESSIVES, DEMOCRATS, DEMAND JUSTICE! FORMAL REPORT ISSUED!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! THE RED ONE A REAL ESTATE MOGUL! FREELY ADMITS TO IT!

A 40-year-old Oslo man faced a nasty surprise when he came home from a trip: Another man had broken into his rented flat and set in motion a scam to rent the flat out to others. The intruder pocketed thousands in fraudulently obtained rent deposits.It all started when Even Nyrud, who lives in Oslo's popular Majorstuen district, was the victim of a break-in that he apparently didn't even notice. Newspaper VG reported Tuesday that a 29-year-old man broke into Nyrud's flat and took photos of it.The 29-year-old then posted the photos on a web site that offers homes for sale...

Three people are dead and scores have been admitted to hospital in southern Norway after doctors confirmed an outbreak of Legionnaires' Disease over the weekend. At least 24 are confirmed to be infected, with many of them in critical condition.Health authorities, meanwhile, remained unable on Monday to pinpoint the source of the disease. Cooling towers for air conditioning systems, where the bacteria is known to appear, were being checked and disinfected, especially in the Fredrikstad-Sarpsborg area.That's where the first cases started being diagnosed late last week. Health officials in Fredrikstad, just north of the Swedish border, feared an epidemic like...

The red-green (Labor, Socialist Left and Center parties) alliance met its first signs of adversity as it fell 8.6 percent points on a new political survey.The poll carried out by Intéra ResearchLab for newspaper Vårt Land was a marked contrast to a series of earlier studies that indicated uniform majority support for an alternative to the current center-right (Conservative, Christian Democrat and Liberal parties) coalition government led by Kjell Magne Bondevik.The Socialist Left Party were the big losers on the new poll, falling back 6.5 percent points, down to 14 percent. Labor retreated 1.1 percent points to 28.8 percent and...

Cleaners were astonished to find that thieves had made off with a handicapped toilet at a rest stop in Valle in Aust-Agder County over the weekend."They must have had a disgusting job," Helge Homme, a cleaner from road service firm Mesta told newspaper Fædrelandsvennen.A stinking hole in the floor has been exposed by the removal of the handicapped facility at the Honnevje rest stop."A very special theft," said Mesta manager Trond Heia. He has never heard of a complete stainless steel toilet being stolen from a Public Roads Administration (PRA) stop before. There is no question of vandalism, the fitting...

A German web site that auctions off jobs to the lowest bidder looks set to establish itself in Norway. Those wanting work can underbid each other to win available jobs.The controversial "job auction" service started in Germany last autumn. So far, it's arranged around 1,500 jobs by matching employers with the lowest-bidding workers.The German web site, www.jobdumping.de, now plans to open a division in Sweden, with will also operate sites for the Norwegian and Finnish job markets.Founder Fabian Loew says the concept is simple. "If you have a job to offer, you put it out on the site with a...

Hamar is a city of circa 27,000, about 800 miles south of Gamvik and Berlevag (way up there between Hammerfest and Vardo, in case anyone is interested), or about 90 miles directly north of the capital of Norway, Oslo.I do not mean to be offensive, but of all the places I have (thus far) seen of Norway, Hamar seems a rather bleak, sterile, soulless place; it reminds me very much of the "artists' city" of Santa Fe, New Mexico--an "arty" place for the Birkenstock and Ben & Jerry's ice cream crowd.....and little else.Which is a pity, because Hamar actually has...

Oslo, Norway--More cellphones are ringing in Norway than there are people to answer them, as subscriptions soar, officials figures showed on Monday.And the Norwegians are not the only cellphone enthusiasts.On the same day, Lithuania also reported that the number of cellphone subscribers surpassed the population of the Baltic country.In Norway, which boasts one of the world's highest mobile penetration rates, there were 4,7-million registered cellphone subscriptions in 2004, indicating that 102% of the country's population has become portable, the Norwegian Post and Telecommunications Authority said in its annual report.The large number of cellphone subscriptions has taken its toll on fixed...

Reindeer herders in the north of Sweden are considering releasing their flocks over the border to graze in Norway. At issue is a conflict over grazing regulations in the border area.The pending move by the native Swedish sami [Fred: Suomi, please] people is expected to spur protests from their counterparts on the Norwegian side of the border."We won't get into fist fights, that's a bit too primitive," says Per Gunnar Harnesk of Sirges, the largest sami [Fred: Suomi] town along the Swedish border with Norway."But we're prepared for a number of conflicts and police reports," Harnesk told newspaper Dagens Nyheter.According...

Bergen is just too much for a single "tour," and so this particular "tour of Norway" covers only Bergenex urbia, Bergen outside of the city itself.Bergen has 277,000 people, and is the second-largest city in Norway. The principal industries are petroleum, fishing, shipping, and predictably, furniture-making.But that is inside the city, not outside. As one can see from the map below, Bergen is in the "Deep South" of Norway, the tropical region. (In case one is interested, Berlevag and Gamvik are clear up at the very top of the red, on the map--in case anyone is interested.) Some mountains near...

Okay, before going on to describe Berlevag, the Crown Jewel of Norway, I must comment that this particular town, Berlevag, has the most-excellent web-site of all the Norwegian web-sites I have "visited."One pulls up the first page, and there it is, all of it, everything one needs, without any bells, whistles, and flashing lights. No gimmicks, just straightforward information.Berlevag, population 1,200, is too small to be on many maps, but anyway, it is near the center of the circle below, a little bit to the north and the east of Gamvik, which is another town smack in the center of...

Grimstad is a city of 18,000 located south of Oslo, east of Kristiansand, on the map below. Grimstad manufactures a great deal of, not surprisingly, furniture. This is the only photograph I can find that I can GUARANTEE is of the small village of Ada, near Grimstad. If one looks very closely, he can see a couple of houses. Grimstad from the sea. Grimstad from the docks. Boats in Grimstad. City center, Grimstad. Either a hospital, or a school, in Grimstad. You know, no matter where one is--in Nebraska, in Pennsylvania, in Ukraine, in Italy, in Norway--all elementary schools look...