Free Republic

Here's the scenario: Mom and Dad come to visit. Dad is not doing so well. Dementia has set in very rapidly over the last year and he's barely functional now. You can still get meaningful dialog with him if you are patient, slow, and interrupt him when he goes off on strange tangents. But its easy to confuse him by talking fast or being even a tiny bit confrontational. Also you have to leave certain topics alone for awhile and come back later after he's had time to let it sink in. If he answers a question too soon his...

Cognitive decline and memory loss are the biggest fear factor for seniors and their caregivers. Frustrations, miscommunications, and strained emotions further cloud an issue characterized by mental haze. Determining if “senior moments” are consistent enough to affect quality of life and whether something should be done requires communication. It may be failure to pay attention that first raises concern and prompts the need for discussion. Sometimes seniors become so accustomed to others planning their days that they don’t take much time to focus on the details. A senior may ask a question and then not pay attention to or not...

Caregiving is not a journey most of us choose. Often, we take the initial steps on the caregiving path thinking it's only a walk to the mailbox or a casual stroll around the lake. Soon we've walked mile after mile. Our starting point is so far behind us we can't see it anymore, and our destination is clouded by hills and valleys, bends and turns in the caregiver road. I've learned ten things (at least) on my journey. Perhaps they will benefit you as well. Nurture yourself. When serving as a caregiver, your own spiritual and physical health are often...

Driving is a major issue for seniors and frequently referred to as the nuclear warhead of caregiving. For many, driving is the last bastion of independence and the prospect of giving it up is tantamount to stepping into the grave. Some seniors refuse to acknowledge their limitations, although many have forgotten the rules of the road they learned decades ago. In such cases, family members spend countless hours worrying. Stop the inner turmoil and look for solutions. If you reach the point where you have to lay out the issue firmly, have some ideas or solutions for transportation needs already...

A delicate balance exists when determining if you parents are capable of continuing to manage their finances. Dementia or medical conditions may be a factor. Other times, parents delay paying bills because it feels like a big task, but a continuous pattern of late payments has consequences, including whopping fees or increased interest rates. Obviously, in times of medical crisis, you have no option but to take over. But don't wait until the crisis arrives to make sure you're authorized to do what needs to be done. While your parent may be able to resume managing finances after recovery, you...

It’s easy to fall into a pattern of negative thinking and adopt a woe-is-me attitude when you’re balancing caregiving with the other demands of life. So it might be helpful to honestly assess where you fall on a positive/negative continuum. Often our attitudes, actions, and reactions need a little refurbishing. While an extreme make-over might not be in order, following are some areas to consider:

OK Freepers - I need your feedback/opinion. My folks are getting up there in years and my mother would like some kind of "alert" system in the event she falls down while my father is away. She has beginning Parkinson's so her motor movement aren't the best. I know there are alerts she can wear around her neck, phone call type of systems, etc. I'd love to have your comments on what's out there and what works.