Protest raises questions about gender bias - staff walks out on video showing abuse of men

Cecil Whig (Cecil County, MD) ^ | 05/15/2003 | Carl Hamilton

[bigfootbob]

" I am amazed."

Me too. This happened 22 years ago and I've never heard anything top this deviously ingenious maiming

[Not Insane]

I watched an episode of Cops about ten years ago with a woman who was part of a group trained to deal with abusive relationships. In this episode was a man and his wife. She looked a little overweight and the type that would fit in perfectly at wednesday night bingo. He looked about 65 and very, very thin and downright weak, wearing an old t-shirt. The cops were there on a domestic despute call. The man was sitting on the side of a bed and as the cops tried to ask him questions and he started to speak, his wife said some profanity and started physically slapping and punching him. He just cowered and the cops had to subdue her. It was pathetic.

The woman I was watching this with said, "I'll bet he was beating her when the cops weren't there!"

Their bias exposes them as rediculous to any rational person.

[Not Insane]

Men tend to not report it because its just plain embarrasing. Physical superiority of men to women is a given. No man wants to admit he is the exception.

[Not Insane]

--I completely believe that some men have been battered. I also believe they have more power to do something about it. --

Actually, the opposite is true. What do you think a man can do about it that a woman can't, that won't land him in the back of a cop car that is.

[Not Insane]

--Just kidding. I think my husband would say the same thing.--

HA, you actually got me laughing on that one!

[Labyrinthos]

I believe that the most frequent domestic violence is the abuse children suffer, especially in a single parent home. It is a situation in which the single mother is likely to be an uneducated, frustrated, substance abuser.

From personal experience, I agree, except my mother was a high school educated, narcissist, who, while married to my p-whipped father (she still is), physically and emotionally beat the crap out of me and my sister with a smile on her face and a Bible under the arm.

[Zevonismymuse]

From personal experience, I agree

Ironic how those who are the most abusive as a group claim to be the most victimized as a group. And they get away with it.

[CaptRon]

"Given the small number of cases, an inordinate amount of time has been spent on this issue.

He continued, "On a scale of one to 10, this is not a high priority. The numbers dictate everything. It all comes down to time management and budget."

Imagine this being said if the victim were a woman or a minority.

[big'ol_freeper]

NASCAR County alert!!!

Now when we move over there that does not give you the ok to start slappin me around Lil!!

[Under the Radar]

Women usually are the primary caregivers to their children and, therefore, the urgency to find shelter is greater for them, Dunne explained.

Interesting how these people will use such a "degrading stereotype" when it suits them...

[Labyrinthos]

Sometimes it seems that way, but I'm not sure that my mother "got away with it," because neither my sister nor I have anything to do with her, which means that once my father dies, she will spend the rest of her days alone, without family or friends.

[Zevonismymuse]

It will be 24 years of marital bliss in August. We have had a few bumps in the road, but after having three children, losing three parents, and going through all the usual drama, we would not change anything.

Our marital motto is: "We hate each other, but we hate everyone else worse."

Awhile back we were discussing a friend's very messy divorce and laughing about what a horror I would be to divorce, I asked my husband if he had ever considered leaving me. When he answered, "no" I asked him why. He said, "I would have killed you before I would have divorced you!"

I then asked him if he had ever considered killing me. He looked deep into my eyes and answered,"Yep." We laughed our selves to tears.

[Under the Radar]

Motherbear, you raise some good points, and valid questions. Are men in need of the same services? Probably not, in all honesty. Are women as in need of the services they get? Probably not.

There are some bitter truths to domestic violence, ones most don't want to face. When I was a volunteer for a domestic violence shelter, we were taught at orientation that it takes a woman leaving her abuser 7 times before she makes the final break. We were taught this so that we wouldn't get frustrated at the repeat admittees. What we weren't taught was the cycle of behavior that leads women to these circumstances to begin with.

The truth is that women are usually the instigators of domestic violence incidences. However, men, being bigger and stronger, usually end what the women start in an ugly, brutal way.

I believe it is important to bring attention to the incidences of male battery for several reasons: 1) It happens-- we do not ever benefit from denying reality; 2) demonstrating the reality of male battery will better bring attention to the warped and dangerous dyad of domestic abuse, which, as I mentioned above, usually begins with abuse on the part of the woman, and end with it on the part of the man.

[Chemist_Geek]

There's physical battering (which could work both ways), and then there is TERROR.

So, psychological abuse is different from and worse than physical abuse?

Remember that psychological abuse is easily committed with words...

[Zevonismymuse]

I'm not sure that my mother "got away with it,"

I hear you. I am sorry that she was never able to make ammends for her cruelty.

My mother was extremely physically abusive when angered, but she was also very loving and supportive. I just think about her getting married at age 17 and having three babies a year a part and I cut her some slack.

The physical violence eventually stopped as she matured. She is very kind to my children and we can actually laugh about her maniacal rages now. I was born in the 1950s and most of my friends were getting clobbered too.

I am not trying to make light of this inexcusable behavior. My children have never been struck in anger and it breaks my heart to see children being handled roughly.