I hear you. I am sorry that she was never able to make ammends for her cruelty.
My mother was extremely physically abusive when angered, but she was also very loving and supportive. I just think about her getting married at age 17 and having three babies a year a part and I cut her some slack.
The physical violence eventually stopped as she matured. She is very kind to my children and we can actually laugh about her maniacal rages now. I was born in the 1950s and most of my friends were getting clobbered too.
I am not trying to make light of this inexcusable behavior. My children have never been struck in anger and it breaks my heart to see children being handled roughly.
Although probably not the situation in your particular case, the abuse/love cycle is very common in abusers. In some cases, its part of the MO, in other cases, its because the abuser feels guilt. In either situation, everyone else walks on egg shells not knowing whether mommy dearest is going to give you a hug and say "I love you" or beat you with a coat hanger, burn you with a cigarette, lock you in the fruit cellar, stuff your head in the toilet, and/or scream and yell for hours straight, while calling you names and making other derogatory statements in an effort to humiliate and strip you of whatever self-esteem you might have left.
BTW, like you, I have never, ever raised a hand to my kids.