Protest raises questions about gender bias - staff walks out on video showing abuse of men

Cecil Whig (Cecil County, MD) ^ | 05/15/2003 | Carl Hamilton

[dirtboy]

Protest raises questions about gender bias - Domestic violence staff walks out on video showing abuse of men

State and county officials suspect gender bias after the coordinator of the Domestic Violence Rape Crisis Center (DVRCC) and four staff members walked out of a meeting Monday before a video presentation about women who abuse men.

Karen Dunne, who oversees this county's women's shelter, read a prepared statement objecting to the showing of the videotape moments before approximately 20 members of the Family Violence Coordinating Council of Cecil County viewed it.

(Comprised of representatives from law enforcement, the judicial system, county government and other agencies, the council meets once every two months to discuss domestic violence issues to better serve the community.)

"(The DVRCC) does not use or support the use of melodramatic materials ... no matter what victim group is emphasized. The use of skewered, sensationalist materials, often based on misleading statistics, myths, and non-scientific research, is non-productive to our mission and provides a disservice to all victims of violence," according to one passage in the statement.

After reading the letter, Dunne and her colleagues left the meeting before the council and guests viewed the videotaped segment of "20/20," a news magazine program aired on ABC television.

The segment included interviews with male victims of domestic violence and with women who assaulted their husbands or boyfriends. Some parts graphically described the attacks.

In the wake of the DVRCC protest, several officials who attended the meeting are wondering what, if any, ramifications will come from it.

"My major concern is that judges in both the circuit court and district court are legally and ethically obligated to deal with all persons on a gender neutral basis,'' said Cecil County Circuit Court Administrative Judge Dexter M. Thompson Jr.

He continued, "This puts us into a bind because we have a county agency that -- at least on the surface -- is indicating that we shouldn't even be discussing this type of issue at the Family Violence Council meetings."

According to Thompson, state law precludes judges from even associating with people or agencies suspected of gender bias.

State Sen. Nancy Jacobs (R) of the 34th District, drew the same conclusion after witnessing the walkout. (Jacobs attended the meeting as a guest because as a legislator she has introduced several bills to combat domestic violence.)

"I think it shows a gender bias. It almost showed a closed mind,'' Jacobs remarked. "At the least, them walking out showed insensitivity. It wasn't professional."

Chief Darrell Hamilton of the North East Police Department commented, "We were all at that meeting for the benefit of all abuse victims, not just a select group. One group can't be prosecuted more aggressively than another -- that's not justice."

And Richard Achuff, chief investigator with the Cecil County State's Attorney's Office, commented, "Quite frankly, it sent the message that they have horse blinders on and can't see anything peripherally."

But Dunne and her associates maintained Wednesday that the DVRCC isn't gender biased.

They reported that the DVRCC has participated fully with the council on the numerous occasions it has addressed the issue of domestic violence against males.

The Whig met with Nicholas J. Ricciuti, director of the Cecil County Department of Social Services, and Margaret Diem, coordinator of Human Services, in addition to Dunne.

Dunne and her associates acknowledged that women do assault men in relationships, but the problem isn't big enough to justify the amount of time and money spent on it.

"Given the small number of cases, an inordinate amount of time has been spent on this issue. We've all seen that video before. We believe the issue has been adequately addressed,'' Diem said.

According to Ricciuti, about 300 women are housed at this county's women's shelter annually, and all of them are victims of domestic violence.

Meanwhile, 14 men in this county sought services last year from the domestic violence program, he said. Counseling and shelter are among the services a man may receive, he added.

"The number of men receiving services from the DSS (Department of Social Services) because of domestic violence is less than 20," said Ricciuti, noting that his department has never received a gender bias complaint concerning its handling of male domestic abuse victims.

He continued, "On a scale of one to 10, this is not a high priority. The numbers dictate everything. It all comes down to time management and budget."

There isn't a shelter exclusively for male victims of domestic violence in Cecil County, for example, because it wouldn't be financially responsible to create one, Dunne reported.

"Proponents for (male victims) want to see equal services, but that just can't happen when 85 to 90 percent (of the victims), and maybe even higher, are women," Dunne said. "We provide comparable services."

Not only are there fewer male victims of domestic violence than female victims, but men often require fewer services anyway, according to Dunne.

Women usually are the primary caregivers to their children and, therefore, the urgency to find shelter is greater for them, Dunne explained.

"Women need more services than men. It's not that we discriminate against men," Dunne said.

According to Ricciuti, other types of domestic violence victims now demand more attention.

And that directive comes from the Maryland Department of Human Resources, which selected Cecil County Social Services to develop a three-county pilot program to address the latest trend.

"The real issue now is how to we reach out to the elderly victims of domestic violence, and victims who are disabled and victims who have a limited proficiency in English," Ricciuti said. "They are the under-served population. I would say domestic violence against the elderly is the biggest problem."

Considered a model agency by state officials, this county's social services department is designing a program to find those types of victims in Cecil County, Prince George's County and St. Mary's County and then help them, Ricciuti said.

Federal and state officials believe the number of domestic violence victims in those groups is high. Cases go unreported for a variety of reasons, including language barriers and cultural differences.

So, in addition to demonstrating their disdain for the videotape presented as a learning tool, Dunne and her colleagues departed early Monday to make another point.

"We've been addressing this issue (male domestic violence victims) over and over,'' Dunne noted. "We want to move the county in a direction that aligns us with state and national projects designed to reach out to these under-serviced groups."

She continued, "Our time is valuable and our work is undermined when the priorities of the (the council) are not properly aligned with our center, the state coalitions and networks, and when we do not focus on all under-served victim groups equally."

Addressing the sudden departure by the DVRCC group, Thompson commented:

"The whole point of these meetings is to discuss domestic violence issues openly so we can deal with them more effectively. If they didn't like the video, they could have stayed and vocalized their displeasure. I was shocked because it was highly inappropriate."

Jacobs agreed.

By challenging statistics presented in the video, Dunne and her colleagues exhibited an attitude reminiscent of one prevalent decades ago, when social workers started addressing the domestic abuse of women in the United States, according to Jacobs.

Male domestic abuse victims today face a similar plight female domestic abuse victims encountered several years ago, Jacobs reported.

"People were out there saying there was a problem, but, back then, we didn't have the statistics like we do today,'' Jacobs said. "So to me, it was hypocritical for (the DVRCC) to dispute the statistics (in the video) and then walk out."

She added, "It wasn't a wise move. This just cements the stereotype that women in these groups are man-haters."

Dunne and her colleagues, however, viewed their early exit as a last resort after voicing their concerns at past meetings -- to no avail.

"The (council) membership has tolerated the domination of the topic of male victimization for over a year, despite the fact that DVRCC and other partners have clearly demonstrated that male victims do indeed receive comparable services in this county as mandated by COMAR law,'' Dunne wrote.

To that end, Dunne recently presented a one-hour report to the human services committee of the council on mandated and non-mandated services that the DVRCC provides "for all victims of violence, including males," she said.

"Minutes from that meeting found that the report on these services was more than satisfactory. In addition, the DVRCC has met and, or, exceeded all state and federal program audit requirements for providing mandated services to victims of violence in Cecil County," she added.

Viewed as the start of the last-straw incident, Dunne openly objected to the videotaped segment of "20/20" after first seeing it during a sub-committee meeting, she said.

Then the executive committee was supposed to review the tape, accompanied by her comments, before presenting it to the council, she added.

But the tape bypassed the executive committee, and it was presented to the council Monday, according to Dunne, who wrote her statement after learning that the video would be played, despite her official objections and the lack of further review.

"I'm not into dramatics but I felt I had to do something," Dunne said, adding that she told council leaders beforehand that she and her colleagues would object and leave.

Her written statement concluded, "Please excuse us from the rest of this meeting, as we cannot support the use of histrionic materials. Thank You."

Ricciuti -- their boss -- supports Dunne and her colleagues.

"Walking out of the room is not only the right thing to do sometimes, sometimes it's the only right thing to do," Ricciuti said.

[bigfootbob]

" I am amazed."

Me too. This happened 22 years ago and I've never heard anything top this deviously ingenious maiming

[Not Insane]

I watched an episode of Cops about ten years ago with a woman who was part of a group trained to deal with abusive relationships. In this episode was a man and his wife. She looked a little overweight and the type that would fit in perfectly at wednesday night bingo. He looked about 65 and very, very thin and downright weak, wearing an old t-shirt. The cops were there on a domestic despute call. The man was sitting on the side of a bed and as the cops tried to ask him questions and he started to speak, his wife said some profanity and started physically slapping and punching him. He just cowered and the cops had to subdue her. It was pathetic.

The woman I was watching this with said, "I'll bet he was beating her when the cops weren't there!"

Their bias exposes them as rediculous to any rational person.

[Not Insane]

Men tend to not report it because its just plain embarrasing. Physical superiority of men to women is a given. No man wants to admit he is the exception.

[Not Insane]

--I completely believe that some men have been battered. I also believe they have more power to do something about it. --

Actually, the opposite is true. What do you think a man can do about it that a woman can't, that won't land him in the back of a cop car that is.

[Not Insane]

--Just kidding. I think my husband would say the same thing.--

HA, you actually got me laughing on that one!

[Labyrinthos]

I believe that the most frequent domestic violence is the abuse children suffer, especially in a single parent home. It is a situation in which the single mother is likely to be an uneducated, frustrated, substance abuser.

From personal experience, I agree, except my mother was a high school educated, narcissist, who, while married to my p-whipped father (she still is), physically and emotionally beat the crap out of me and my sister with a smile on her face and a Bible under the arm.

[Zevonismymuse]

From personal experience, I agree

Ironic how those who are the most abusive as a group claim to be the most victimized as a group. And they get away with it.

[CaptRon]

"Given the small number of cases, an inordinate amount of time has been spent on this issue.

He continued, "On a scale of one to 10, this is not a high priority. The numbers dictate everything. It all comes down to time management and budget."

Imagine this being said if the victim were a woman or a minority.

[big'ol_freeper]

NASCAR County alert!!!

Now when we move over there that does not give you the ok to start slappin me around Lil!!

[Under the Radar]

Women usually are the primary caregivers to their children and, therefore, the urgency to find shelter is greater for them, Dunne explained.

Interesting how these people will use such a "degrading stereotype" when it suits them...

[Labyrinthos]

Sometimes it seems that way, but I'm not sure that my mother "got away with it," because neither my sister nor I have anything to do with her, which means that once my father dies, she will spend the rest of her days alone, without family or friends.

[Zevonismymuse]

It will be 24 years of marital bliss in August. We have had a few bumps in the road, but after having three children, losing three parents, and going through all the usual drama, we would not change anything.

Our marital motto is: "We hate each other, but we hate everyone else worse."

Awhile back we were discussing a friend's very messy divorce and laughing about what a horror I would be to divorce, I asked my husband if he had ever considered leaving me. When he answered, "no" I asked him why. He said, "I would have killed you before I would have divorced you!"

I then asked him if he had ever considered killing me. He looked deep into my eyes and answered,"Yep." We laughed our selves to tears.

[Under the Radar]

Motherbear, you raise some good points, and valid questions. Are men in need of the same services? Probably not, in all honesty. Are women as in need of the services they get? Probably not.

There are some bitter truths to domestic violence, ones most don't want to face. When I was a volunteer for a domestic violence shelter, we were taught at orientation that it takes a woman leaving her abuser 7 times before she makes the final break. We were taught this so that we wouldn't get frustrated at the repeat admittees. What we weren't taught was the cycle of behavior that leads women to these circumstances to begin with.

The truth is that women are usually the instigators of domestic violence incidences. However, men, being bigger and stronger, usually end what the women start in an ugly, brutal way.

I believe it is important to bring attention to the incidences of male battery for several reasons: 1) It happens-- we do not ever benefit from denying reality; 2) demonstrating the reality of male battery will better bring attention to the warped and dangerous dyad of domestic abuse, which, as I mentioned above, usually begins with abuse on the part of the woman, and end with it on the part of the man.

[Chemist_Geek]

There's physical battering (which could work both ways), and then there is TERROR.

So, psychological abuse is different from and worse than physical abuse?

Remember that psychological abuse is easily committed with words...

[Zevonismymuse]

I'm not sure that my mother "got away with it,"

I hear you. I am sorry that she was never able to make ammends for her cruelty.

My mother was extremely physically abusive when angered, but she was also very loving and supportive. I just think about her getting married at age 17 and having three babies a year a part and I cut her some slack.

The physical violence eventually stopped as she matured. She is very kind to my children and we can actually laugh about her maniacal rages now. I was born in the 1950s and most of my friends were getting clobbered too.

I am not trying to make light of this inexcusable behavior. My children have never been struck in anger and it breaks my heart to see children being handled roughly.