Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Black XIV: "Where's Yer Shame, Lib-uh-rulls?!!"
The MudCave ^ | 25 January 2003 | Mudboy Slim

Posted on 01/25/2003 7:39:43 AM PST by Mudboy Slim

"Where's Yer Shame, Lib-uh-Rulls?!!"
(To be sung to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "What's Your Name?")

Folks, It's Time To ROCK, RATS're noisey, I should know!!
We'll be yer FReedomWriters...
Dubyuh, lead US to the show
Right done made some plans for movin' US to the Right!!
So, find a Lib'ral dweeb
And I know Y'ALL Can Teach Her Right!!

(Chorus)
Where's yer shame, Lib-uh-rulls?!!
Where's RATS' shame?!!
Children you ain't, little girl!!
Won't you act yer age?!!

Left Can Go to HELL!!
Lord, DemRATS are a mess!!
It seems that one of Slick's crew...
Hadta go and hadta CONFESS, oh yes!!
Well, the police said, "Slick Can't Rape Anymore!!"
What a shame
Won't you come and FReep, World...
And meet Ol' MUD the ClintonBane!!p>

Where's yer shame, Fascist Whore'd?!
Where's yer shame?!
Shootin' you straight, little girl?
Left's Hands're Bloody-Stained!!

(Chorus)
Why Must YOU Rape, WillieBoy?!
Why d'ya RAPE?!
Whuppin' you straight, SlickWillie...
Yer Just Mudboy's Game!!!

(Guitar Jammin')

(Chorus)
Where's yer SHAME, Lib'uh-rulls?
Fer Viet Nam?!!
Lib'rals are FREAKS, don'tcha know?!
Voters, don't be lame!!

Gonna ROCK the NextAge...
Right, Git Ready to ROLL!!
We got Sick Tyrant Thugs to SMITE...
To do one more show, oh no
Gonna git Slick a PrisonHome...
Won't that be grand?!
When I come parole each year
We're Gonna FReep Slick Again...and AGAIN!!

POWER is RATS' Aim, Lib-uh-rulls...
Left, Show Shame!!
Confessin' is GREAT, mindless WHORE'd...
Ignorance ain't no shame!!!
Just Show Yer Shamed...by the Left!!
Show Yer Shame!!
Socialists HATE...LIBERTY!!
Don't YOU Join RATS' Shame!!

Black XIV FReegards...MUD


TOPICS: Activism/Chapters; Constitution/Conservatism; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Editorial; Foreign Affairs; Government; Miscellaneous; Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; US: Kansas; US: Virginia
KEYWORDS: antiamericans; clinton; dasshole; demonrats; dimorats; eileenwellstone; hillrysphatarse; juanitabroaderick; liborealls; libsdrinkkoolaid; mcauliffe; putsomeiceonthat; skynyrd; slickwillie; winnick
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 401-420421-440441-460 ... 901-917 next last
To: Mudboy Slim
!!!!
421 posted on 02/04/2003 10:32:39 AM PST by stand watie (Resistance to tyrants is obedience to God. : Thomas Jefferson 1774)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 412 | View Replies]

To: Formerly Brainwashed Democrat
I want to look that up. Do you have a link? I've heard that, just haven't actually seen the document.

There is no link for this information. I pulled it right out of the IRS's own manual. You can find this manual at any law library; not a public library. They keep changing and "re-organizing" the manual so that people like myself will never find this but I do find it all the time. It just takes patience and persistance to nail them with their own outlaws!

What you look for is the manual entited, "Internal Revenue Manual - Administration" and then start leafing through until you comes across a section entitled "Organization and Staffing". It discusses the history of how the Bureau of Internal Revenue came about and was supposedly "created" by Congress but there is no evidence of that at all.

Furthermore, look into the Appeals Section of that same manual until you stumble upon "The Role" of the IRS which states explicitly that it is encouraged under "voluntary compliance" which is complete horseshit. One does not mix something on a voluntary basis until there is a law stating one is liable and so must "comply" with this "law". Either there is a law or there is not. So far, I have found no such law. What I have found instead is that it is voluntary to submit money and a "return". I am sure that "Taxman" is probably hip to this biggest fraud as well.

422 posted on 02/04/2003 11:39:21 AM PST by goldilucky
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 407 | View Replies]

To: Formerly Brainwashed Democrat
I'm on the leftcoast too. Only I'm not a Lefty. Used to be until I wised up to all the lies being fed to me. Now I'm an individual.
423 posted on 02/04/2003 11:42:51 AM PST by goldilucky
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 389 | View Replies]

To: stand watie; conservativemusician; Cyber-Band
"Right's Winning"
(To be sung to R.E.M.'s "Nightswimming")

Fight Tyranny...Bold Warriors of the Right!!

We must ignore the Media Whore'd, they sold out long ago...
Spins the Truth backwards so the Sheeple doze.
Clinton, he ain't Right...to Tyrants, Liberty's a curse!
Nation needs The Right to lead her...we'll SLAUGHTER Hatred first...
That's our solemn pledge! Slick's goons must feel our might!!

Right's Winning...the Truth will come to light!!
Must make sure all the Sheeple understand.
We shan't let Traitors go...Bill Clinton must be caught!!
We'll avenge the Waco Slaughter...this Emperor, he's naked!
Bill's crimes won't go away...seek Justice ev'ryday!!
Right's winning...remember as we fight...
November's coming soon...Right's shooting for the moon!!

Slick, watch my dreams come true!!
Re-Impeached by Congress...convicted of Treason!!
Your vile style forever shunned...it's God's design...Right's Winning!!

Bill, your wife, she hates/is you...Slick, we will soon judge...
Guilty of Vile Tyranny!! I sit here laughin' quietly...
MUD predicted this...Right's Winning!!

(Reprise)

Ignore the Left's protests...they love Slick 'cuz Left's ALL VILE!
Right's winning...come join the Noble Right...
Come join our Righteous Fight!!

FReegards...MUD
424 posted on 02/04/2003 12:54:30 PM PST by Mudboy Slim (RE-Impeach Osama bil Clinton...MUD)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 421 | View Replies]

To: conservativemusician; dwbh; Mr. Jenkins; Eschoir; MurryMom
"I would rather discuss what we, as conservatives, can do to move our country in the right direction (and have a few laughs) than try and play psychologist to the intellectually challenged."

Then leave the intellectually-challenged and UN-Willfully-Ignorant to me, my FRiend...I consider all Ignorant RATS to be REALITY-Challenged DOLTS practically beggin' to be EDUCATED by the likes of...MUD

425 posted on 02/04/2003 12:59:34 PM PST by Mudboy Slim (STOOOOPID Lib'rals, I'm a FReeper and I'm Here To Help!!!........really......I'm serious.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 420 | View Replies]

To: LSUfan; Liz; Landru; Libloather; Elle Bee
"TERRORISM: SADDAM HUSSEIN'S WEAPON OF CHOICE!!"

"Faced with an obvious impending plethora of evidence showing the threat posed by Saddam Hussein in the form of ballistic missiles, chemical agents and biological weaponry, foes of toppling Saddam have changed tactics. They now focus on what they claim is a lack of evidence linking Iraq to al Qaeda. First of all, links to al Qaeda are not the question. Our enemies in this conflict are Islamic militants (“Jihadists”) from several groups, including Hezbollah, Hamas, Palestinian Islamic Jihad, and al Qaeda who have been at war with the United States since at least 1982.

"An odd alliance of Buchannanite neo-isolationists and radical Hollywood leftists, such as Susan “What did Iraq do to us?” Sarandon, would have you believe that Saddam Hussein has virtually nothing to do with terrorism and is an arch-enemy of the Jihadists. Nothing could be further from the truth. Saddam Hussein’s ties to terrorist groups have been documented by investigative reporters, intelligence operatives, authors and politicians from both the left and right for years. In fact, only recently have neo-isolationists and Hollywood radicals called his ties to terrorism into question. As part of the cease-fire agreement that stopped the Gulf War in 1991, as contained in U.N. Security Council Resolution 687 (April 3, 1991), Iraq agreed that it must not commit or support terrorism or allow terrorist organizations to operate in Iraq. Along with virtually every other condition in that resolution, Iraq has violated this one early and often. Despite what you may read in your newspaper or see on television news, Iraq has a long history as a state sponsor of terrorism. In fact, Iraq has been included on our State Department's list of terrorist sponsoring nations for two decades—long before the Gulf War. Now, suddenly, critics of U.S. policy are all but claiming that Saddam Hussein has no ties to terrorism. Their mantra seems to be: “Where is the proof?’

"Why are the neo-isolationists and Hollywood radicals asking for “proof” of Saddam Hussein’s ties to al Qaeda and other terrorist groups? Because they know that it will be virtually impossible to produce. As former CIA director James Woolsey once said: "Hearsay is not admissible as evidence and almost all intelligence is hearsay. Evidentiary standards are the wrong standards." Had we insisted upon hard, courtroom evidence, the Taliban regime would still be in power in Afghanistan today. The fact is, Iraq shelters known, wanted terrorists, allows terrorist groups to maintain offices within its borders and operates a terrorist training camp at Salman Pak, complete with the fuselage of an airliner for practicing hijacking.

"....It has also been reported that members of the Jihadist Palestinian terror group Hamas trained at Salman Pak and that Saddam has paid large sums of money to surviving family members of suicide bombers. One indisputable terror crime that Iraq was involved in was the attempted assassination in 1993 of former President George H. W. Bush during his visit to Kuwait. In fact, President Bill Clinton ordered a cruise missile strike in retaliation for that failed plot, which was put together by Iraqi intelligence. In the past few years, two independent investigators have uncovered evidence that would seem to indicate Iraqi involvement in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing. Dr. Laurie Mylroie published a book entitled “Revenge: Saddam Hussein's Unfinished War Against America.” That book details evidence of Iraqi involvement in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing. The book has been updated and republished as “The War Against America: Saddam Hussein and the World Trade Center Attacks.” William F. Buckley, Jr. said that Mylroie’s book “reports persuasively that Saddam Hussein was the sponsor of the 1993 attempt on the World Trade Center. Lest you believe that Mylroie is just an arch-conservative idealogue writing in support of the Bush administration, you may want to know that this book was published in 2000, before George W. Bush was even elected. Furthermore, Mylroie is a former adviser to none other than Bill Clinton. Most importantly, however, in her book, Dr. Mylroie reveals that Jim Fox, the director of the New York FBI at the time of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, concluded that Iraq was behind the bombing. Moreover, one of the suspects still wanted in the 1993 World Trade Center attack, Abdul Yasin, is known to have fled the country and is now in Baghdad. That fact alone puts Iraq in violation of UNSCR 687."

Excellent article in advance of Colin Powell's speech...MUD

426 posted on 02/04/2003 1:37:50 PM PST by Mudboy Slim (STOOOOPID Lib'rals, I'm a FReeper and I'm Here To Help!!!........really......I'm serious.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: conservativemusician
"Willie and the Hand Jive"
(To be sung to Eric Clapner's--aka Clapton's--"Willie and the Hand Jive")

I know a cat named Ol' Slick Willie...
Gotta phat li'l chick named BigAss Hill'ry!
She's a squawkin', dried-up, worn-out shrew...
So Slick just plays that ol' skin flute!
Look out, Country, it's an intern 'ho'...
Doin' Slick's hand jive...knees to the flo'!
Media's havin' a pretty good time...
'Cuz Left don't see where cheatin's a crime.
Hand jive, hand jive, hand jive...
Slap that monkey blind!

Slick was a young Ozark A.G....
When he ambushed poor Juanita B!!
Sex Fiend Willie gave her quite a treat...
When he raped that lady, her lip did bleed.
Quaint style, Slick's VILE, he smiles,
"Baby, get yo'self some ice!!"

Slick and Hill'ry...they having a ball...
Abusin' their Power and that ain't all,
'Cuz they committed TREASON it's plain to see...
Slick's tellin' them big lies on TeeVee.
Slick LIES, Slick SPIES, he'll resign...
And do that Prison Time.

Hey...hey-ey

Ridicule...Ridicule...RIDICULE!!! This one's gotta FUNKY BEAT...MUD
427 posted on 02/04/2003 1:47:14 PM PST by Mudboy Slim (STOOOOPID Lib'rals, I'm a FReeper and I'm Here To Help!!!........really......I'm serious.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 420 | View Replies]

To: Formerly Brainwashed Democrat; All
Thanks for signing the petition.

Who's next?

“I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.” [Thomas Jefferson, letter to Benjamin Rush, 1800.]

We will never be a truly FRee people so long as we have the income tax and the IRS.

Click here to help us scrap the Code, scrap the IRS and abolish the VLWC!

We will never be a truly FRee people so long as we have the income tax and the IRS.

You can also click here to sign a petition in support of Fundamental Tax Replacement.

We will never be a truly FRee people so long as we have the income tax and the IRS.

428 posted on 02/04/2003 2:14:56 PM PST by Taxman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 409 | View Replies]

To: Formerly Brainwashed Democrat
LOL! I get teased about my "Handle" all the time. But no one ever forgets it! Unless I take off my "No IRS" ballcap; then no one knows who I am! LOL!

The NRST legislation being considered (sat on is more like it -- we need a lot more public support before the legislation will be put in play) in Congress calls for abolishing the income tax and defunds the IRS two years after the NRST is in place.

The legislation also calls for repealing the 16th Amendment, which made this Byzantine tax system possible. Repealing the 16th has to be stand-alone legislation.

HST, the danger is that the Congress could pass a VAT or NRST tomorrow without abolishing the income tax or the IRS and without repealing the 16th Amendment.

“I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.” [Thomas Jefferson, letter to Benjamin Rush, 1800.]

We will never be a truly FRee people so long as we have the income tax and the IRS.

Click here to help us scrap the Code, scrap the IRS and abolish the VLWC!

We will never be a truly FRee people so long as we have the income tax and the IRS.

You can also click here to sign a petition in support of Fundamental Tax Replacement.

We will never be a truly FRee people so long as we have the income tax and the IRS.

429 posted on 02/04/2003 2:26:54 PM PST by Taxman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 408 | View Replies]

To: jla
...could you direct me to a source(s) that enumerate the tax deferments and/or breaks given to foreigners who become U.S. citizens? (Especially foreign business owners).

Actually any possible tax advantages that foreigners might recognize by becoming US citizens is entirely dependent upon their financial status.

The poor and to a very small degree, middle class foreigners, are the only people who might see a financial benefit in US citizenship.

The poor, who would certainly not be business owners, can obviously benefit from the numerous welfare programs in the US. This explains why the vast majority of US immigrants fall into that category.

The middle class foreigners, who might own small businesses, have far fewer financial incentives for becoming US citizens. Depending on their particular business, they might qualify for a government grant or a small business loan that a non-citizen might not receive. But even that benefit, in those cases where it may be available, vanishes quickly, as the business grows. Also, depending on how much business the foreigner does offshore and in what countries, the additional tax burden of being a US citizen might even overwhelm the few benefits that a small businessman might receive.

Keep in mind that with the exception of only a couple of countries, foreigners do not have to pay tax on or even report foreign sourced income. US citizens, on the other hand, must report and pay tax on all income that they earn worldwide. If a foreigner earns $100,000 in a country that only has a 10% income tax, then that is all that he must pay, as long as he does not repatriate the money. A US citizen in say, the 38% tax bracket, who earns the same amount in the same country must pay the 10% tax in that other country and then pay an additional 28% more to the US (bringing the total tax to 38%), regardless of whether or not the money is repatriated. In fact, in all likelihood, the US citizen will have to pay additional taxes should the money be repatriated. So on that $100,000 the foreigner would pay $10,000 in tax, while the US citizen would pay $38,000 or more.

The real benefits of living in the US are social. You have a better infrastructure than anywhere else in the world. You have better hospitals. You may have better schools, though some countries have already passed us in that regard and many more are about to. But, those benefits cede to the non-citizen residents of the US, as well. There is only one significant right that non-citizens may not have - the right to keep and bear arms.

The financial benefits of US citizenship are, for the most part, reserved for the poor. If you are not in that category, then I wouldn't hold out a lot of hope for any real financial benefit in US citizenship. In fact, it might well work the other way around. Another thing to consider is that as a US citizen, you give up a tremendous amount of privacy.,

All of the above just begins to explain why roughly 100,000 of the wealthiest Americans are expatriating every year. After all, they are the folks who can easily afford to make up for whatever social and infrastructure benefits that leaving the US might entail. In fact, with all the new technology, you can even run a highly computerized business from on board a yacht, while it's underway. For more on this subject, see the article, Tick-Tick-Tick - The Economy Bomb. There are also several other related articles in the Tax and Economy section of the Action America web site.


430 posted on 02/04/2003 2:59:47 PM PST by Action-America (Keep 'em flyin'!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 403 | View Replies]

To: Action-America; sultan88; jla; Formerly Brainwashed Democrat; stand watie; sauropod; ...
Howdy A-A...good to see ya!!

"Marchin' on DeeCee!!"
(To be sung to Bruce Springsteen's "Racin' in the Streets")

I got a worn-out ol' computer with a 486...
Fax machine and patriotism galore.
Left's threatnin' our Rights with all their Guv'ment ROT...
Clinton's a Chinese Communist Whore!
Me and my FReeper buddies gonna fight to the last...
Gonna kick Ol' Slick right outta town.
'Cuz Bill took Chinese money, helped our Nukes get snatched...
We'll Re-Impeach, then we'll CONVICT RATS' Clown!!

Tonight, we fight Slick's White House Blight...
We're gonna knock that Traitor outta his seat!
Spring is here and The Time Is Right...
For FReepin' on DeeCee!!

We decry corruption when we see'it...
We expose Tyranny by the State.
When Limbaugh shuts down, we hit the DrudgeReport...
We're all funded by "Dick" Mellon-Scaife.
Now some folks, they just give up caring...
And start givin' up their Liberties, piece by piece.
Some folks come home from work and wash up...
Then go hit the Web to FReep!!

Tonight, we fight Left's Treas'nous Blight...
We're gonna stomp those Lib'rals beneath our feet!
Spring is here and The Time's Just Right...
We're Gonna DESTROY DemElites!!

(Keyboard/Percussion)

We met him and his "schtick" eight years ago...
Sixties' Lib'ral with "an eye fer the babes."
With far-Left Media at his back...
Slick told the World he's here to stay!
But now there's Treason, Rape, and Chinese spies...
So many lies...Oh no, it just ain't Right!
This Country's drones, they need a spark...
Need Ol' Mudboy singin', "It's worth the fight!"

Slick spunked on the floor of our great White House...
But folks said, "Wait, 'cuz Wall Street's soarin'!"
They stare off all numb, afraid to fight...
Trustin' LIES of folks who slaughter the Unborn.
For all YOU Mind-Numbed Robots and Network "HotShots"...
Ignorin' crimes to Beat the Band...
Tonight, the FReepers and me, we're gonna take back DeeCee...
And Purge LEFT's Filth From OUR Land!

Tonight, we fight the righteous fight...
Out of our way, RINOS, you best keep!
'Cuz Spring is here and the mood's just Right...
For FReepin' on DeeCee!

(Keyboard/Percussion to fade)

Mudboy Slim

BTW...Just over two centuries ago, our forefathers risked Life, Liberty, and their personal fortunes to stand up against an over-bearing and tyrannical government. Because of their courage and determination, the original Thirteen Colonies became what we now know as the United States of America. Therefore, our honored forebears were all-too-aware of the propensity for central governing bureaucracies to grow out of control. The writers of our Constitution, in an attempt to protect the citizenry from this eventuality, chose to enumerate our individual liberties in the Bill of Rights. The First Amendment includes "the right to free speech," which not only protected the individual's right to speak out against the government, but also enabled the Fourth Branch of Government--the Free Press, if you will--to flourish. For over two hundred years, this watchdog Media has turned over many rocks, exposing the dark under-belly of American politics...UNTIL NOW!!

Previously occupying the Oval Office at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, was a small petty man, heading a vast criminal conspiracy. Bill Clinton most indubitably committed multiple felonies and obstructed justice in the Monica Lewinsky matter. A morally-weak, spineless Senate was not up to the task of removing him from office, making a mockery of our Legal System as the #1 Law Enforcement Officer in the land was allowed to continue master-minding a relentless attack on The Rule of Law; however, it is clear that Clinton is "Guilty" (beyond all reasonable doubts) of multiple felonies and SHALL BE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE!!

Since escaping Justice in the Impeachment Trial, Mr. Clinton has been credibly accused of Violent RAPE by one nice woman, Ms. Juanita Broaddrick. Either this is a major slander against the good name of an innocent man...or else Bill Clinton raped and violently bit the lip of this young woman. If it wasn't true, don't you think the Rapist-in-Chief would have come out a bit more strongly in his own defense?!

Now, we come to find out the President of the United States is most likely guilty of TREASON, for accepting illegal foreign campaign donations from the Communist Chinese in exchange for basically offering a free run of our Nuclear Weapons Labs and authorizing high technology transfers through key Democratic National Committee contributors, Hughes and Loral. Executive Branch Corruption never ran as deep and as wide as is the case with this Administration!!

Yes, when it comes to brazenly flouting the laws and mores of this Country, this Clinton Cadre of Corrupt Communist Co-Conspirators is charting a new course. Yet, the blatantly Left-Wing Media can't find the time or the manpower to investigate/report the Truth about Slick Willie's Felonious Behavior, the "dark side" of the man who could violently rape a supportor and suggest as he left, "Better put some ice on that, baby!" No, our "Free Press" cannot even find it in themselves to report on the TREASON committed by Bill Clinton, in which each and every man, woman, and child in America is now significantly more at risk than 8 years ago, simply because Bill Clinton needed some illegal contributions to retain his tenuous hold on the reins of Power.

We've seen how ridiculous the Yugoslavian State-controlled Media Propoganda Machine looked in the recent conflagration in Kosovo...who amongst the Media Poltroons can explain to me the difference between Clinton's Media and Slobo's. Fortunately, The Network drones are becoming irrelevant!!

If you want to help in reclaiming our Country from the Evil that occupies the Oval Office, here's the gameplan...

RE-IMPEACH. CONVICT. DETHRONE.
DE-PENSION. DISBAR. DE-LEGITIMIZE.
INDICT. CONVICT. IMPRISON. DISCARD KEY.
(COURT-MARTIAL FOR TREASON AND APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT OPTIONAL)

Quite Sincerely,
Mudboy Slim

P.S. "On the 15th day of February in the Two-Thousand Third Year of our Lord, there was a Grand Convening of Patriots at the Mall in Washington, DC. This convention of FReedom-loving Americans from accross the Continent was unanimous in its call for JUSTICE to be exacted upon those who would commit TREASON against our great Country!! Historians will record this great day as the beginning of the end of William Jefferson Clinton's Treasonous Reign of Terror!!"

So sayeth the word of...MUD

1 Posted on 07/03/2000 10:07:19 PDT by Mudboy Slim (Impeach@gain.HARDER!!)

431 posted on 02/04/2003 4:26:23 PM PST by Mudboy Slim (RE-Impeach the Butcher of Waco Children...MUD)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 430 | View Replies]

To: Action-America
Wow! I checked out your Action America web site. It is super!
432 posted on 02/04/2003 6:32:23 PM PST by sultan88 (I am Pro Choice on Guns - This year my choice is a Beretta)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 430 | View Replies]

To: Taxman
"Who's next?"

OK, I've signed!

433 posted on 02/04/2003 6:46:17 PM PST by sultan88 (I am Pro Choice on Guns - This year my choice is a Beretta)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 428 | View Replies]

To: sultan88
Thank you, sir!
434 posted on 02/04/2003 7:26:44 PM PST by Taxman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 433 | View Replies]

To: Mudboy Slim
Heh, heh that first part goes really well, about Hillary!
.....phat lil' chick named Big A$$ed Hill'ry...

Bwahaaha! That's good!

hand jibe...;^D
435 posted on 02/04/2003 10:38:29 PM PST by FBD (spel cheker brok)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 427 | View Replies]

To: Mudboy Slim
From the Iconoclast:

http://www.iconoclast.ca/mainpage.html

---- TOP SECRET! EMBARGOED! CONFIDENTIAL! TOP PRIORITY! NOT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE! ----


BUBBA:
The Official Biography of William Jefferson Clinton



By Edmund Porris,
author of Dutch: A Delusional Memoir of Ronald Reagan


---- "Edited" by William E. Grim ---


Hope, Arkansas Springs Eternal: The Early Years

Hi, y'all. I'm Dub Dorris, a fictional boyhood friend of Bill Clinton. I lived across the street from Bill when we was no higher than the little guy on Fantasy Island's kneecaps. Shoot, them was the days, let me tell you. We didn't have much money back then, but we was rich in family, friends, and Southern Gothic monstrosities right out of one of them novels by Flannery O'Connor or William Faulkner. I always knew ol' Bill would someday grow up to be President of the whole United States, all 48 of 'em. Huh? When did that happen? 1959? OK. I mean all 50 of 'em.

You see, Bill, he was the apple of his mammy's eye. Yessirree Bob, that Mrs. Clinton was right proud of Bill. She used to work all day as a nurse and then come home, heat up a can of Spam and fix a mess of grits, and then head down to the illegal gambling casinos where she was a dime dancer and would roll suckers for their chips just like that Sharon Stone did in that there movin' picture Casino, you know, the one directed by that little Eyetalian feller, Martin Sneezy. Sooooeeey! Ain't that Sharon Stone a looker!! I ain't never seen no hog jowls wiggle like that Sharon Stone. Huh? Yeah, well back to the story. Ol' Bill had hisself a mama who made sure he grew up to be somethin'.

I remember one evening when I was over at the Clinton's. Bill and me was in the same Cub Scout pack. Mrs. Clinton was the pack leader and we was all workin' on our bartending merit badge. We was all pretty wasted on Jack Daniels and Dr. Pepper and I remember Mrs. Clinton hugged ol' Billy Boy and said to him, "Son, you work real hard and study, and someday you can grow up to be the first President of the United States to get a hummer in the Oval Office."

Mrs. Clinton, she done passed out after that and I said to Bill, "Bill, you sure are one lucky razorback, boy. Most fellers would give anythin' to have our self-esteem validated by a sweet mammy like your sweet mammy." Bill, he kinda sniffled after that. I knewed he was destined for greatness.

During the summers Bill used to work as a counselor at Camp Porky's outside of Hubble Flats, a white-trash resort south of Fayetteville. By his own account, Bill says that he offered counseling to 77 people who almost drowned. Course, if he had knowed how to swim maybe them kids wouldn't have almost drowned, but Bill didn't see it that way. No sir, Bill always looked at things different, which is probably why he is such a great man. I remember once after Bill had given grief counseling to a girl who had almost drowned, Bill turned to me and said, "Dub, any man can rescue a drowning big-breasted girl if he knows how to swim. But if you give counseling to a big-breasted girl who's almost drowned, well, shucks, you might just get lucky and when she asks you why you have your hands on her boobies, you just say you're givin' her CPR." Shoot, that Bill Clinton, he was one in a million.

High School Scholar

Boy, I tell you, that ol' Bill was one smart feller. He knowed his ABCs before the fifth grade, which is somethin' for Arkansas. Yup, and when the teacher asked us a question, it was always Billy Boy who raised his hand. He always had the answers. In high school Bill was elected President of the Student Council. Piggy Dawson, he got all riled up because he lost the election to Bill. He went around saying that Bill only won because he received $200,000 from Wang Chung's Laundry. Claimed Bill had sold ol' Wang Chung the playbook of the high school football team. Shoot, it was just jealousy if you ask me. They never could prove nothin', course, I always wondered why Bill's shirts seemed to be so heavily starched.

During Senior year Bill saved up the money he made from his paper route and invested it in cattle futures. Don't you know, ol' Bill took $37.43 and turned it into $100,000. The SEC looked into it, but, shucks, they said Bill didn't do nothin' wrong, he was just one lucky son of a gun. Well, Bill took his money and bought hisself a 1962 Chevy pickup truck. He put astroturf in the bed of the truck. I asked him, "Bill, why the astroturf?" and he said right back to me, "It's so my Bruno Magli shoes don't leave no footprints, know what I mean, Dub?" That Bill, he was sure a card.

Come graduation time, Bill was selected to be the valedictorian. Bill took a lot of heat at the time cause most folks thought he was bein' uppity and everythin' seein' as how he could read and write. But Bill never gave it no mind, no sir, not at all. He said to me, "Dub, I'm a gonna give a commencement address everyone's gonna remember." And don't you know, that's exactly what ol' Bill did. Bill, he promised to socialize healthcare, to raise taxes, to increase social spending, and then he ended his speech by saying he wanted to allow homosexuals to be in the armed forces. Well, that weren't real smart of Bill cause most of the good ol' boys in the audience were ex-Marines and didn't really cotton much to them homosexuals specially since most homosexuals are also communists and furriners from New York City. So the good ol' boys, they start throwing rocks and stuff at Bill, and one of 'em hit Bill right in the nose. Bill yells out, "I feel your pain." Well, that did it. People started applauding and the good ol' boys sat down and kept real quiet. Shoot, that Bill was born to be a politician. Or maybe a used car salesman.

The Vietnam War Years: Bill Goes Undercover in Moscow

Greeting, Comrades. I am Dub Dorris, Jr., the real son of fictional character Dub Dorris. Like my father, I met Bill Clinton at an early age. Unlike my father, however, I grew up not in Hope, Arkansas, but in Stalingrad with my mother Anna Akhmetovana Dorris. I first met Comrade Bill Clinton in 1965 when he was secretly smuggled into the Soviet Union to address the 10th Meeting of the Comintern. At that time, Comrade Clinton was stationed as part of the Kim Philby cell working out of Oxford University. His exploits were known to all of the members of the various communist youth groups. Hero of the Revolution Bill Clinton often appeared at the top of Lenin's Tomb during May Day celebrations, waving to the crowd alongside Comrade Brezhnev as the Red Army proudly marched through the streets of Moscow. I remember very vividly the interview Comrade Clinton gave on Soviet TV with Sam Donaldsonovavitch. It cheered the hearts of all of us Young Pioneers when Comrade Clinton announced that in 1992 and 1996 he would be the "Manchurian Candidate" for the presidency of the imperialist United States. We knew that even if the Soviet Union were to fall, the glories of communist ideology would survive in a Clinton administration. And history has proven us to be right.

Next POST: Monica, Jennifer and Babs: Hillary Clinton on the "Other Women"

436 posted on 02/04/2003 10:56:23 PM PST by FBD (spel cheker brok)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 431 | View Replies]

To: Mudboy Slim
Folks, I again return you to the Iconoclast:

http://www.iconoclast.ca/mainpage.html

---- TOP SECRET! EMBARGOED! CONFIDENTIAL! TOP PRIORITY! NOT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE! ----


BUBBA PART 2:
The Official Biography of William Jefferson Clinton;
Chillin with Hill:

Monica, Jennifer and Babs: Hillary Clinton on the "Other Women"

Hi, I'm Roger Ebert, film critic for the Chicago Sun-Times. I'm a real person, but the author of this book has decided to use me in a fictional manner because he almost had a nervous breakdown trying to discover the "real" Bill Clinton. I'm going to interview First Lady Hillary Clinton to try to get her perspective on her philandering hubby and why he is so attracted to all of those bimbos. We're going to conduct the interview in screenplay format for two reasons. One, I'm a film critic and it seems so ironic and postmodern to be doing this as a screenplay, and two, screenplay format has real narrow margins and will help get the book up to the page count required by the author's contract with Random House.


CHILLIN' WITH HILL: THE INTERVIEW


FADE IN:

EXT. DECK OF BOAT IN CANNES HARBOR

Film critic Roger Ebert and First Lady Hillary Clinton are sitting in deck chairs on Gary Hart's yacht, Monkey Business II, which is moored in the harbor of Cannes, France.

ROGER

Mrs. Clinton, are you having a good festival?

HILLARY

Comme ci, comme ca, babe. Miramax is ready to bite on my life story, but Gwyneth is holding out for play or pay.

ROGER

Give 'em an Oscar and they want the world.

HILLARY

Tell me about it.

A waiter brings over drinks.

HILLARY (CONT'D)

(to waiter) Where's the f***ing umbrella for my mai tai, a**hole?

ROGER

If we could get started, I know this is a touchy subject, but do you have any insights into your husband's well-known proclivity to wander?

HILLARY

Well, the members of the vast right-wing conspiracy with their simplistic solutions to all of America's problems try to say that it's just because my husband is a low-life rutting cad with the morals of an alley cat. But the truth is that my husband IS a victim, a victim of childhood abuse, of the conflict between his mother and grandmother.

ROGER

Really?

CUT TO:

BLACK & WHITE FLASHBACK CLINTON HOUSE 1949

Bill Clinton's mother and grandmother are both dressed in red teddies and are sitting in the parlor of what appears to be a turn of the century whorehouse. There are a number of distinguished looking gentlemen seated about. They all are wearing expensive suits with spats and waistcoats. They are listening to young Bill Clinton playing "She's the Daughter of Rosie O'Grady" on the tenor saxophone.

MRS. CLINTON

Give me the money, you old woman!

GRANDMA CLINTON

No way! I'm gonna spend it on Depends, and gamble the rest away at the casino.

MRS. CLINTON C'mon, you knowwe need that money for Bill's tuition at Georgetown.

GRANDMA CLINTON

Yeah, you just want the money so you can bail out your 2nd and 3rd husbands and get your boyfriend's banjo out of the hockshop.

MRS. CLINTON

(slaps Grandma) Take that, you old bag.

The two ladies begin to wrestle in a mud-wrestling pit that mysteriously appears. The gentlemen present begin to urge them on and to place bets on the winner. Bill Clinton puts down his saxophone and puts on the striped shirt of a referee. He gets in the mud-wrestling pit and breaks the two ladies up several times when it appears that they are taking a breather and just holding on to each other.

DISSOLVE TO ORIGINAL SCENE:

HILLARY

So you see, Roger, Bill always felt that he had to referee these disputes between his mother and grandmother.

ROGER

Wow, president, philanderer AND auteur! (turns to camera) So, let's recap tonight's films. The remake of "The Diary of Anne Frank" starring Monica Lewinsky got a thumbs down from both of us. While Hillary thought "Deliverance II", with Web Hubbell taking the role originated by Burt Reynolds, to be a tender Southern romance, I thought it was just a film about a bunch of yahoos getting anally raped. I thought George Stephanopoulos was radiant in "The Fayetteville Horror III," but Hillary gave it a thumbs down, saying that Stephanopoulos was the least attractive of all of her husband's mistresses. Finally, we both give thumbs up to "Bill Clinton Childhood Flashback."

FADE TO:

END OF FILM

Bill Clinton: Greatest War Leader Since Millard Fillmore

At ease. I'm General Mark Clark, Commander of US Forces in Italy during World War II. Although I've been dead for some time, the author asked me to narrate the section of his book on Bill Clinton's glorious victories as a military leader. And I should know. Heck, I was such an incompetent general I was almost defeated by the Italians, for Christ's sake. So who better to comment upon Bill Clinton's miraculous victory over the awesome military might of Greater Serbia.

One of the first lessons you're taught in Officers' Training School is if you want to stay out of war never get caught with your pants down. Of course, this is meant metaphorically, in other words, don't get caught being unprepared or you'll have to go to war. President Clinton, however, seems to have taken this literally because when he was caught with his pants down with Monica Lewinsky he mistakenly thought that he was required to start a war.

Although the president has no military training, his instincts served him well. President Clinton had purchased a copy of Sun Tzu's The Art of War as a friendship gift for Monica Lewinsky, but fortunately Betty Currie was able to retrieve this book from Lewinsky's apartment before it was subpoenaed by Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr. Purusing the volume, the President immediately seized upon the section entitled "War in the Midst of Scandal." Underlined in his copy of Sun Tzu's treatise is the following passage:


When the stain on the dress is so plain,
Do not kill, do not self-disembowel.
Prepare for war not in Spain nor in Maine,
But in a land where the names have no vowels.

And that is why the Great War of Kosovo Liberation began in the town of Srbsrgtskt.

At first glance, Srbsrgtskt may not seem like an imposing military target, especially to the untrained eye. But Srbsrgtskt, with its seven mules, Blockbuster Video, Starbucks and several inside toilets, is a massive military fortress, not unlike the abandoned wineries in the Po Valley that made my progress so slow up the middle of Italy after the landing on Anzio beach. The success of the Great War of Kosovo Liberation is largely due to the brilliant decision early on by President Clinton to not proceed until Srbsrgtskt had been completely "neutralized." This was accomplished by overwhelming air power. Over the course of 72 days, 312,785 sorties delivered over 9,243,869 tons of explosives on an area little larger than 3 square blocks. Damage assessments reveal that 99.96% of all bombs dropped on Srbsrgtskt fell within a bombing radius deemed "near but functionally non-target."

This is a military record that would have made Napoleon proud. His forces never achieved this type of bombing accuracy, although it must be noted that the French Air Force of the early 19th century did not employ laser-guided cruise missiles, thereby limiting their effectiveness. This is General Mark Clark, US Army retired.

Ex-President Clinton: The Years of Exile in Hope and Leavenworth

Hi, y'all. This here's Dub Dorris again. Back to narratin' the strange tale of my friend, Bill Clinton, the 42nd President of plumb near ever'one of these here United States.

Well, when Billy Boy left the White House things wasn't too good, no, that's fer sure. Wife just upped and left him. Went lesbo, no kiddin'. Then ol' Bill done and got hisself into a mess of trouble. Yup. Didn't pay his VISA bill for six months. Just tore up the bills. I told him, "Mr. President, you can't do that. Them people from VISA's watchin' you. If you don't pay, well, they might just try to make an example of you." And doggone it, that's just what them VISA people did. Took ol' Bill to court, got his sorry behind drug off to Leavenworth for fraud. Don't that beat all? Ex-President of the US in jail, lesbo ex-wife and his dog runs away. Just like them ol' country tunes, don't you know.

Well, Bill made the most of his time in the slammer. Did a little jailhouse lawyerin'; shucks, most of Hillary's ex-partners from the Rose Law Firm were cellblock buddies. Joined a Southern Baptist Bible study group and became a honorary member of the Black Muslims. Ain't it a hoot! Ol' Bill's whiter than an albino polar bear's behind and he gets in tight with them Black Muslims. And you know what? Billy Boy looks purty good wearin' them red bow ties. Well, that's another story.

Well, it all turned out OK in the end. Billy Boy got shock probation in six months. Came home to Fayetteville and the people said, aw heck, we know he's been a bad boy, but he done his time like a man. Got a job bussin' tables at Shakey's Pizza Parlor and he's behavin' hisself real good. Goes to church purty near every Sunday, except when them early NFL games come on, but don't nobody mind too much about that.

So ever'one says why don't we get a presidential liberry for Bill, you know, even Dick Nixon's got hisself a liberry, so they hold this 4-hour marathon on the local country music station, raised near $1,200 and bought the ol' Esso station on Water Street and turned it into Billy Boy's presidential liberry. Looks purty nice, too, if I do say so myself. Got most of his speeches on the Lay's Potato Chip racks and the real valuable stuff, like Monica's dress and the missing billing documents from the Rose Law Firm, are buried where the gas tanks used to be. So, why don't y'all come down to Fayetteville and see us. We could sure use the tourist money. Oh, yeah, sorry, the author says I have to get back to the narrative. OK.

Well, Billy Boy don't remember too much nowadays about bein' president. He just stands by the pool, raking leaves, unaware that the Secret Service men put more leaves by the pool when he isn't looking. This really burns Bill up, because he just gets tired of rakin' them leaves all the time. He keeps mutterin' somethin' about the Myth of Sissyface, but shoot, I never went to college like ol' Bill, so I don't got no idea what he's talkin' about. I'm just the imaginary narrator, and I guess my job's about done.





437 posted on 02/04/2003 11:08:22 PM PST by FBD (spel cheker brok)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 431 | View Replies]

To: Mudboy Slim; All
"The success of the Great War of Kosovo Liberation is largely due to the brilliant decision early on by President Clinton to not proceed until Srbsrgtskt had been completely "neutralized." This was accomplished by overwhelming air power. Over the course of 72 days, 312,785 sorties delivered over 9,243,869 tons of explosives on an area little larger than 3 square blocks. Damage assessments reveal that 99.96% of all bombs dropped on Srbsrgtskt fell within a bombing radius deemed "near but functionally non-target."

This satire piece is only slightly exaggerated. Read this.

I agree with you Mud! Retry, convict, throw away the key! (But make it Leavenworth)

438 posted on 02/04/2003 11:31:15 PM PST by FBD (spel cheker brok)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 437 | View Replies]

To: Formerly Brainwashed Democrat; KLT; jla; RFP; dwbh; x; mit
"Retry, convict, throw away the key!"

Yep...just to prove "Equal Justice Still Prevails in America!!"

SlixMUDZbi+c#...saysHOO? Says...MUD

439 posted on 02/05/2003 3:37:33 AM PST by Mudboy Slim (SlixMUDZbi+c#...saysHOO? Says...MUD)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 438 | View Replies]

To: Cyber-Band; conservativemusician; PhiKapMom; Paul Cruce; Buckeroo; Jeff Head; dead; Dukie; ...
"If You Wanna Git Bill Clinton...!!"
(To be sung to the Ozark Mountain Daredevils' "If You Wanna Get To Heaven...")

(Mudboy on harp...)

I never read it in the papers...I never saw it on the news...
I heard it on Rush Limbaugh...on AM radio...
If you hate the Waco Slaughter...
You gotta help MUD fer a spell!!
If you wanna git Bill Clinton...
We gotta RAISE A LOTTA HELL!!! Yeah...

I am...therefore, I FReep!!
Folks, I feel it in my soul...
Won'tcha meet me at the Cap'tol?!
Re-Impeach!! We'll reach our goal!!
If you wanna know a secret...
You got to promise not to tell!!
Right's gonna Re-Impeach Bill Clinton...
We're gonna put Slick in a cell!! HELL YEAH!!!

(MUD harpin' like the dickens!!!)

I never thought it'd be this easy...
I never thought it'd be this fun...
But we FReeped Truth on Rush Limbaugh...
Now, we got Slick on the run!!
If you fear FReedom's in danger...
You gotta help WHUP RATS' AlphaMale!!
Folks, WE're Gonna Git Bill Clinton...
We'll Dethrone Slick's Soul to HELL!!!

(MUD harpin' fer his dinner!!!)

Folks, we're gonna git Bill Clinton...
FReepers, gonna git Bill Clinton!!!
Gonna send Slick straight to Prison!!!
Folks, it's SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!!!!

FReegards, all...MUD

"No man can know what power he can call rightly his unless he presses a little."
Robert Frost, notebook entry, 1913

1 Posted on 08/07/2000 21:11:04 PDT by Mudboy Slim ('Cuz Justice is worth fightin' fer!!)

440 posted on 02/05/2003 4:35:59 AM PST by Mudboy Slim (SlixMUDZbi+c#...saysHOO? Says...MUD)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 439 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 401-420421-440441-460 ... 901-917 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson