USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Humor Day ~ January 16 2003

68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub and FRiends of the Canteen

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

US Army Voice Mail Message

Thank you for calling the United States Army. I'm sorry, but all of our units are out at the moment, or are otherwise engaged. Please leave a detailed message with your country, name of organization, the region, the specific crisis, and a number at which we can call you.

As soon as we have sorted out Centeral Asia, the Balkans, Iraq, Korea, Communist China, and compulsory "Consideration Of Others" training, we will return your call. Please speak after the tone, or if you require more options, please listen to the following numbers:

If your crisis is small, and close to the sea, press 1 for the United States Marine Corps.

If your concern is distant, with a temperate climate and good hotels, and can be solved by one or two low risk, high altitude bombing runs, please press 2 for the United States Air Force. Please note this service is not available after 1630 hours, on weekends, or in bad weather.

Special consideration will be given to customers requiring satellite or stealth technology who can provide additional research and development funding.

If your inquiry concerns a situation which can be resolved by a bit of grey funnel, bunting, flags and a really good marching band, please press 3 and speak slowly to the United States Navy. Please note that Tomahawk missile service is extremely limited and will be provided on a first-come, first-served basis.

If your inquiry is not urgent, please press 4 for the Rapid Deployment Force and wait two weeks for delivery.

If you are in real hot trouble, please press 5, and your call will be routed to the United States Army Special Operations Command for an additional fee of $10. Please note that a compulsory credit check will be required to ensure you can afford the inherent TDY costs. Also be aware that USASOC may bill your account at any time and is not required to tell you why, as it will be classified.

If you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at, paid little, have premature arthritis, put your wife and family in a condemned hut miles from civilization, are prepared to work your butt off daily, risking your life, in all weather and terrain, both day and night, and while watching Congress erode your original benefits package, then please stay on the line, Your call will shortly be connected to a bitter passed-over Army Recruiter in an old strip mall down by the Post Office.

Have a pleasant day, and thank you again for trying to contact the
United States Army.

The New Call for Fire Procedure for the Army of One

Picture troops under fire, desperately needing artillery support, making a cellphone call and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling the 25th Infantry Division's automated artillery support request line. Please be assured that we will attempt to assist you with all available resources in the shortest time possible.

For air support, please call the U.S. Air Force at 1-800-BOMBNOW.
For naval gun fire, please call 1-888-SEASICK.
If you are attacking a fixed enemy position, please press 1.
If you are engaged in mobile defense, please press 2.
If you are defending a fixed position, please press 3.
If you are setting up a hasty defense or are about to be overrun, please press 4.
If you wish to cancel a prior fire mission request, please press 5. Press the star key at any time to return to the main menu.
If you are using a TA-312, remain on the line and one of our customer support counselors will be with you shortly.

Please select the type of fire mission you would like.
If you would like 81 mm or 4.2 inch mortars, please press 1.
If you would like 155 mm howitzers, please press 2.
If you would like advanced munitions, such as fuel-oil explosives or scattering mines, please press 3 to speak with one of our soldier advocates to complete our brief Advanced Firepower Usage Survey.
If you would like to request chemical or nuclear weapons, please press 4 and hold the line. The Secretary of Defense will speak with you as soon as possible.

Enter the map coordinates of the target you would like to strike, followed by the pound sign.
If you need to enter map grid designations, please use the star for a "q" and the pound sign for an "i."

Please remember to verify your coordinates and that your request may take several minute to process.

[Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep]
You have entered co-ordinates 32364519.
If this is correct, please press 1.
If this is incorrect, please press 2 and re-enter the coordinates. Thank you.

Please enter your battalion, company and platoon passcodes, each followed by the pound sign. As soon as we verify your passcodes, we will begin processing your request.
If you have forgotten your passcode, please contact 1-800-IFORGOT for a temporary passcode.

Please enter your passcode now.
[Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-#, beep-beep-beep-beep-#, beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-#]

Thank you. [Pause] Your passcodes have been verified and your request will be processed.

We strongly suggest that you and your comrades take cover as soon as possible.

Thank you for using the 25th Infantry Division's artillery request support line and have a nice day.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

From the men in the Military and the Canteen

[Pippin]

Good Morning Tonkin!

Good Morning Canteen Crew!

Good Morning Troops!

[Soaring Feather]

Good Morning BIS :)

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Todays transportation for you and the Girlz.

[Valin]

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is Air Force, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."

[aomagrat]

Today's classic warship, USS Roanoke

Colorado class screw frigate
Displacement. 4,772
Lenght. 263’8 ¼"
Beam. 52’6"
Draft. 23’6"
Speed. 11k.
Complement. 674
Armament (Original). 2 10", 14 8"
Armament (After conversion to a monitor). Fore turret; 1 15", 1 150-pdr.; middle turret 1 15", 1 11"; after turret, 1 11", 1 150-pdr

The USS Roanoke was launched on 13 December 1855 at Norfolk Navy Yard; and commissioned 4 May1857, Capt. John B. Montgomery in command.

Assigned to the Home Squadron as flagship, Roanoke’s first duty was to return the American filibuster and former president of Nicaragua, William Walker, and 205 of his men to the United States. Sailing for Aspinwall, Columbia, on 30 May 1857, Roanoke returned on 4 August with Walker and his followers. Subsequently, Roanoke was sent to Boston Navy Yard where she decommissioned on 24 September 1857.

Recommissioned on 18 August 1858, Roanoke resumed her duties as flagship of the Home Squadron. Roanoke devoted the following months to cruising in the West Indies, carrying the U.S. Minister at Bogota, George W. Jones, to Aspinwall and Cartagena. For over a year she was stationed at Aspinwall awaiting the arrival of a special Japanese embassy to the United States. The Japanese delegation, travelling to Washington to exchange ratifications of the 1858 treaty, departed Yokohama on 13 February 1860 in the frigate Powhatan and reached Aspinwall by a train across the isthmus on 25 April 1860. The Roanoke embarked the delegation and reached Hampton Roads on 12 May 1860 and was decommissioned.

Following the outbreak of the Civil War, Roanoke recommissioned on 20 June 1861. Attached to the North Atlantic Squadron, she destroyed the schooner Mary off Lockwood’s Inlet, N.C., on 13 July 1861. The screw frigate subsequently took part in the capture of the schooners Albion and Alert and helped take the ship Thomas Watson off Charleston, S.C., on 15 October 1861.

During the C.S.S. Virginia’s (the former USS Merrimack), attack on Union warships in Hampton Roads, 8 March 1862, Roanoke’s deep draft prevented her from engaging the Confederate casement ram and kept her out of action the next day when the Virginia engaged the Union turreted ironclad, Monitor. Roanoke embarked 268 men from the Congress and Cumberland which Virginia had sunk, transported them North, and arrived at New York on 25 March, and decommissioned the same day.

While being extensively modified by Novelty Iron Works, N.Y., Roanoke was cut down to a low-freeboard ship and given three revolving centerline turrets. She kept her single funnel but landed her full ship rig, and in her new configuration was accepted by the Navy at New York Navy Yard on 16 April 1863. An ordnance report, dated 31 August 1863, listed her battery as follows: fore turret 1 15", 1 150-pdr.; middle turret 1 15", 1 11"; after turret, 1 11", 1 150-pdr.

Sea trials indicated that her heavy turrets caused her to roll dangerously in a seaway, and that her hull was not sufficiently strong to bear their weight and the concussion of the continuous firing. Recommissioned on 29 June 1863, Roanoke was assigned as harbor defense ship at Hampton Roads, Va., a duty she performed through the end of the Civil War.

Roanoke was decommissioned on 20 June 1865 at New York Navy Yard. Retained in reserve, Roanoke’s only postwar service was as flagship of the Port Admiral at New York. Roanoke was recommissioned on 13 January 1874 and remained in reduced commission until again placed in reserve on 12 June 1875. Struck from the list on 5 August 1882, Roanoke was sold for scrapping on 27 September 1883 at Chester, Pa., to E. Stannard & Co., Westbrook, Conn.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Today is my favorite day of the week!
See You All Tonight.

[Fiddlstix]

Good Morning Everybody.

You Know The Drill
Click the Pics J

Coffee & Donuts J

[EternalVigilance]

Fifty-eight Thousand, One Hundred and Seventy-eight

Just a short walk
Up from the banks of the Potomac
Is a Wall
Invisible from the street
Sunken
Only found by those who seek it out

Names inscribed in granite
Signifying so much more
Guarded by bronze sentinels
Armed with memories
Of blood and fire

As this week in history ends
Those who despise America gather
Near that hallowed ground
To spew their hate
And publicize their ignorance

May tens of thousands
Of America's hero's ghosts
Haunt them
As Anarchy attemts
To open Tyranny's door

EV

[tomkow6]

At sea aboard USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) Jan. 15, 2003 -- An F/A-18C “Hornet” assigned to the "War Party" of Strike Fighter Squadron Eight Seven (VFA-87) launches from one of four steam driven catapults on the ship’s flight deck during night time flight operations. Roosevelt is currently underway conducting training missions in the Atlantic Ocean. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate 1st Class James Foehl.

At sea aboard USS Harry S. Truman (CVN 75) Jan. 14, 2003 -- Sailors assigned to Truman participate in Special Purpose Insertion Extraction (SPIE) Rigging Exercises with Explosive Ordnance Disposal Mobile Unit Two (EODMU-2) from the ship’s flight deck. Truman and her embarked Carrier Air Wing Three (CVW-3) are currently on a regularly scheduled six-month deployment conducting missions in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer's Mate 3rd Class Christopher Stoltz.

[Soaring Feather]

Good Morning Tomkow!

Fantastic pictures! Impressive even!!

[tomkow6]

Got LOTSA pictures to post today!

[tomkow6]

Operations Enduring Freedom (Jan. 14, 2003) – The nuclear powered aircraft carrier USS Harry S. Truman (CVN 75) underway with her embarked Carrier Air Wing Three (CVW-3). Truman is currently on a regularly scheduled six-month deployment conducting missions in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer's Mate 3rd Class Christopher Stoltz.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Click for current time
in Afghanistan

[Soaring Feather]

Fantastic Tomkow I love every one of them!

Please God let the families see their loved ones in service for our country!

Received an EMail this morning from my buddy on the "CONNIE."

[Kathy in Alaska]

Duty ~ Honor ~ Country

Click above to visit "A Day in the Life of President Bush"

[Kathy in Alaska]

A PRAYER OF PROTECTION

The light of God surround you
The love of God enfold you
The power of God protect you
The presence of God watch over you
Wherever you are,God is,
And all is well.
Amen.

.

Bless This House

Bless this house O Lord we pray;
Make it safe by night and day;
Bless these walls so firm and stout,
Keeping want and trouble out:
Bless the roof and chimneys tall,
Let thy peace lie over all;
Bless this door, that it may prove
ever open to joy and love.


Bless these windows shining bright,
Letting in God's heav'nly light;
Bless the hearth a'blazing there,
with smoke ascending like a prayer;
Bless the folk who dwell within,
keep them pure and free from sin;
Bless us all that we may be
Fit O Lord to dwell with thee;
Bless us all that one day we
May dwell O Lord with thee.

.

(Click on praying hands above,
or on banner at the top to hear the music)

[tomkow6]

At sea aboard USS Saipan (LHA 2) Jan. 14, 2003 -- Hospital Corpsman Steve Chartier from Lehigh Acres, Fla., assigned to Combat Service Support Company 22-2 prepares syringes with anthrax vaccine. The vaccine consists of a series of six separate treatments and is currently being administered to U.S. military forces operating in forward deployed units. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate 3rd Class Robert M. Schalk.

[Soaring Feather]

Duty ~ Honor ~ Country

[Soaring Feather]

Good Morning Kathy