Marriage benefits women as much as men, study says

Minneapolis Star Tribune ^ | 10/05/05

[rhema]

Emotional problems are equally common among husbands and wives, new research shows, a finding that challenges the feminist belief that marriage makes men happier but women more miserable.

The results of the largest study to investigate the question were published in the Australian journal Family Matters.

[BuddhaBoy]

I call people who come off as girly, "honey", Yes I do.

Maybe you should work on your manly persona.

[BuddhaBoy]

Christopher Reeve is a flaming liberal. THAT is what ruined his life.

[weikel]

Not very buddhist of you LOL.

[weikel]

I think I rather be dead then paralyzed unless I suspect a cure is imminent. Death is inevitable but being a vegetable would suck.

[BuddhaBoy]

Buddhism is about truth, not about being nice.

[Tribune7]

What I've learned is that leftists -- whether feminists, swingers, or whatever -- are liars. For many years people would accept as true whatever anyone with any kind of academic creditional claimed. Think of repressed memory syndrome. Hopefully, it is starting to change.

[PFKEY]

We're not doing the what the meaning of 'is' is are we?

Is cursing only using the lords name in vain?

[weikel]

Truth yes but as with Taoism your definitely supposed to be detached and dispassionate. I was really miserable until highschool I hated childhood and was prone to wild moodswings but I basically adopted the stoic/taoist/buddhist way(partially) of subordinating your emotions to your logic I've been happier since.

[sinkspur]

The divorce rate is 52%( vast majority filed by women) your risking 50% of your stuff plus possibly alimony and child support irregardless of the conduct of either party in the marriage.

I'd like to see your source for these statistics. And, get rid of "irregardless." It's a bastardization of "regardless," which is a perfectly acceptable English word.

Some people might think they've got the perfect woman but women tend to change radically around 35 their whole hormonal balance and biochemistry radically alters sorry nothing about marriage appeals to me but im about as cynical as they come.

Guess what? Men change too. They get to 40, and some of them decide that momma is bagging and sagging, and the little blonde tart at the office looks pretty good in comparison. Only, these goofballs are bagging and sagging too, and the blonde tart usually needs a daddy (sugar and otherwise). If she marries you, it ain't because you've been going to the gym every day.

I suggest when your head stops spinning, you'll recognize that it's worth going out on a limb for and with another human being.

And, it's the most fun you'll ever have in your life. You don't know joy until you've met someone around and with whom you can be yourself totally and not fear condemnation.

It takes work to get there, and there are ups and downs, but there is nothing else in life quite like being married to your best friend and lover.

[discostu]

First off if you check the divorce rate you'll find that most of that 52% is repeat losers, first timers have much better success rate than it appears.

Second, given just how much "stuff" I had 12 years ago when I met my wife, big freaking deal. Actually I think we spent more than what half my stuff back then was worth today.

Third, there's no such word as "irregardless". It's "regardless", since the 'in'/ 'ir' preposition usually indicates opposition if there were such a word as "irregardless" it would mean "regarding" (notice you wind up with negation both before and after, so you negate a negative and wind up with the positive, which is why there's no such word).

Fourthly, there couldn't be a divorce regardless of the conduct of either party in the marriage, at least one would have to file for divorce.

Fifthly, my wife is 35, hasn't changed, you're full of crap. The hormonal balance you're pathetically trying to discuss would be menopause, which doesn't come on until the mid to late 40s. Menopause is really nothing more than 1 last long round with PMS, no biggy, relationships are about handling tough times, giving each other strength to overcome. And if worse comes to worse notice how a lot of men really get into fishing in their mid to late 40s... coincidence?

Sixthly, I could give a crap if you EVER get laid much less married. But don't go bad mouthing things you know less than nothing about. You wanna say you won't get married, don't care. You start running around saying nobody should get married, I care, because you're spouting outright LIES, can't even muster up half truths. You'd be better off if you just chose to get married because you didn't want to. When you scramble for reasons it shows a general lack of commitment to your position, it becomes clear that you actually WANT to get married, but it's important to your definition of self to not want to. So you go off vociferously to convince yourself that's what you really believe, but the truth is plainly obvious. But that's OK too, I was actually MUCH more vocally against marriage than you... until I met the right woman, that changed my tune. Just make sure you don't talk yourself out of a chance to be happy. Life is much more fun when you have somebody to share it with.

[sinkspur]

I call people who come off as girly, "honey", Yes I do.

Maybe you should work on your manly persona.

I don't need you to judge my manhood, jerkweed. As you said, you don't know me. My wife of 26 years and 2 twenty-something sons do.

Alley cats are always looking for the next score. Surely you can do better than that.

[weikel]

I saw the 52% somewhere here on FR( I think somebody was comparing it to the much smaller divorce rate if you marry a girl from India) the 50% I know from my parents divorce 3 years ago.

[weikel]

Its not the stuff you have when you get married that can ussually be protected by a prenup in most states( I think even here in Taxachussetts though not in California ive heard they get 50% no matter what there) its what you have when the divorce occurs.

[discostu]

We're not talking about the wheel of kharma here, though if we were your statement that people should have their lives ruined by one bad decision would be even more full of it (that which you send forth on the wheel will be returned 3 fold). Outside the wheel of kharma Reeve's life was ruined because he rode a horse at high speed through an area that didn't have enough verticle clearance and thus broke his freaking neck. One bad decision, ruined life.

[weikel]

relationships are about handling tough times

Im not a masochist if a relationship produces more pain then happiness its a bad relationship.

[discostu]

But the stuff I have now I wouldn't have without her. This is true in both the emotional "growing together" sense and in the very real sense that her employee benefits at the local community college are what allowed me to go back to school and get a real career. And a quick glance around the house shows that around half the stuff is already "hers" anyway, and most of the reast she wouldn't want.

[BuddhaBoy]

Christopher Reeve fell off of his horse, and landed on his head. It was during an Equestrian competition. His horse went over a jump, then stopped suddenly. Reeve flew off the horse an onto his noggin. Clearance had nothing to do with it at all. It had to do with his incompetence.

His bad decision was getting on a horse in the first place. I pointed out his liberalism, to show he had made many mistakes before the one that broke his neck.

[BuddhaBoy]

Asked and answered. You came off as a screaming woman, hence the "Honey". If you dont like the answer, dont ask the question.

[weikel]

Well marrying up makes logical sense but otherwise. And yes under more ideal circumstances I would like to get married but in the age of no fault those don't exist. Not all women change radically of course but enough do that even if I were sure that( hypothetical fiance) has too high a character to screw me over at 25 I'd be worried enough that I might not recognize her 10 years later and then get taken to the cleaners.

[discostu]

Ah now I see why you used the "word" "irregardless", not good with English. Tough times come, some of them are "because" of the other person, others aren't. It's not really the woman's fault when she hits menopause you know, that's a design flaw in the human body, it's God's or evolution's fault (depending on your particular beliefs). While you're right (I'm using "right" very loosly here, your grammar is horrid) that a relationship which produces more pain than happiness is a bad relationship you're still building in an assumed failure. I know plenty of folks who've sailed thorugh the menopause years with hardly a blink (from what I've heard, all anecdotal, it's all about the PMS, women that suffer from bad PMS will have a bad menopause, women that handle PMS OK barely notice menopause). Either way it's just something to be handled, like any other difficulty in life. The benefit is that you also have someone to share the good times with. As the under regarded sci-fi author Spyder Robinson said: "shared pain is lessened, shared joy increased". That's why we're social animals, that's why we make friends, that's why we developer closer bonds than friendship. So that we have people to share our life.