[freeeee]

Each partner is free to leave the moment he or she no longer feels happy or fulfilled.

And this differs from marriage exactly how?

A 50% divorce rate means those who marry are just as likely to "leave the moment he or she no longer feels happy or fulfilled" as they are to stay together.

Committment, my arse.

[discostu]

I think they're missing why people co-hab. It's the same reason both members of so many married couples work. Under today's taxation it takes two incomes most of the time to pay the bills, especially when you're young and not well established in your career. Since you need that second income you need to live with somebody, whether that somebody is spouse lover or roommate is a matter of semantics.

[gcruse]

Postmodern Blues

We used to call it shacking up,
Cohabitate aplomb.
And 'unwed mother' did the job
For what we now call 'mom.'
But what can one expect to find
When lit'rature is 'text,'
And paragons of right & wrong
Take our kids for sex.
 

[Skwidd]

How else are we to know whether or not she (or he, even) is a raving, insecure loon? Co-habitation saved me once. Besides, you don't buy a car without taking it for a test-drive.

[Sangamon Kid]

For despite recent developments, marriage remains the most stable of all family forms.

There is only one form of "family"; the one created through marriage. Everything else is bogus.

[Aric2000]

I do NOT understand what the huge deal is, I lived with my wife for 2 1/2 years before we got married, and thank goodness I did. It showed me that I was indeed making the right decision.

We have now been married 9 years, been together almost 12 and have 2 beautiful children and another on the way. Living together first helped us figure out exactly how compatible we were and allowed us to go into marriage without any doubts that we were doing the right thing.

Marriage without living together first is a BIG mistake as far as I am concerned, but just because it worked for me does not necassarily make it right for others.

[Sangamon Kid]

I feel sorry for some of you, because you have no concept whatsoever of the deep and abiding joy and security that comes when a man or woman makes a life-long commitment to their loved one without having to shack up with, or test-drive (what a stupid metaphor) the latest model.

I have a beautiful 20 year daughter who believed me when I told her that God was preparing a man for her, and that she was to remain holy and dedicated to this man long before she would ever meet and marry him. Abstinence of the heart and mind, not just the body. My daughter is in love with a man that she does not know yet, because she trusts that God is preparing a young man who will be a perfect mate for her.

Sound hokey? Eat your hearts out. All you who live according to the desires of your crotch will never understand this mystery, because any thing less than this falls short of how God intended for marriage to be.

[TightSqueeze]

Today, young people increasingly think of cohabitation as a "no strings attached" way to assess the compatibility of a potential mate.

Boy am I glad I didn't step in this it reeks, such BS. What about the senior population, those who for whatever reason have become single late in life. I would imagine this group would make up quite a large part of a valid survey of cohabiting adults. This article is your typical ass-wipe nannyfied we-know-what-is-best for-you trash. Marriage is really only necessary for those who wish to raise children within societies norms, for all others it is a trap.

[Rogle]

This might sound bad but I am about to the point to where I would advise my son, when the time is right, to just shack up with a girl instead of marring. My rational is: we now have no fault divorce, a 50% divorce rate, courts that are anti male, a legal system that goes out of the way to destroy the bonds between children and father, a legal system that thinks justice has been served when they have destroyed the financial well being of the father, and a society which looks on men as a check writer.

[per loin]

Non-co-habitation, with all that rushing through the mid night streets, can also be dangerous to one's health.

[Springman]

Bump for later.

[goo goo g'joob]

...governed by an ethic of low commitment...

you could stick this on a broad brush and paint a number of society's current ills

[SamAdams76]

This is one of those issues I have changed my opinion on over the years. I used to be a big believer in marriage and family values. I would consider a man and woman living together without marriage, well, not sinful, but ill-advised. I figured that marriage strengthened the ties and made it harder for one partner to just get up and leave.

Well I have now changed my opinion completely. If a man can get away with just living with his woman, he ought to to it. Marriage should only be undertaken if the couple have lived together for a sufficient period of time that the man would would trust the woman in marriage - and even then, be very wary of the process.

Why? Because once a man and woman are married, the woman holds all the cards. The woman can utterly and totally destroy the man's life with no or little pretense. If children are produced, the man's life can be made a living hell with just one false and vengeful accusation of abuse.

And I say this as a relatively happy married guy! I have seen so many friends, co-workers and family members worked over by a vengeful spouse that I have lost my faith in our justice system to protect the rights of a man wrongfully accused by a vengeful spouse of unspeakable acts. My advice to my fellow men is to avoid marriage if possible.

[Don Myers]

bttt

[Physicist]

I cohabitated with Mrs. P. for a couple of years before we were married. In retrospect, it was foolish. We should have been married right away. I knew I wanted to marry her well before we ever moved in together, and she felt the same way. If we didn't know that, we had no business shacking up together in any case. But since there was no way either of us would ever have let the other go, there really was no reason not to get married. (Also in retrospect, and on the other hand, there was no harm done; kids didn't come along until after years of trying in any case.)

[Age of Reason]

Today, young people increasingly think of cohabitation as a "no strings attached" way to assess the compatibility of a potential mate.

That has always been a great test.

If a woman moves in with a guy, she's disqualified herself for marriage.

Next.

[Koblenz]

Well, I am currently co-habitating with my fiancee, although we didn't commence our official cohabitation until after we were engaged and a wedding date had been set, so I don't know if this author would count that as really cohabiting. But I think it made the most sense. I don't see a moral issue, since we had firmly planned to get married. We actually hadn't planned on living together, but went out house hunting to see what was available, and after a few months, we found the house we really wanted (we'd seen it before, but then someone bought it. Their mortgage fell through, so the seller really needed to sell ASAP because he needed to move, so we got it really cheap). So we bought the house and moved in, here in Fairfield county (Greenwich), CT.

For people who are planning on getting married, I don't see any problem with co-habitation. I think that it's fine if the couple has been dating for a while and is serious about getting married, even if they haven't taken the final plunge. But for those who know they could never marry the other, then cohabitation really is not a good choice -- for one, you're wasting time, and secondly, you are going to cause an even bigger blow-up down the road when it all falls apart.

[the bottle let me down]

bump for later

[Springman]

OK, my 2 cents. My sister-in- law
moved in with her now ex-hubbie after 2 dates.
My younger brother moved in with his ex wife after I married Mrs.Springman(7 years ago). They got divoriced and then remarried, her CORBA ran out and had and had back troubles.
MY older brother had his girlfriend move in, they got married, and now they are heading for a divorice.
Mrs.S and I got married and were are very happy. We never lived in the same house untill we got married.

[weikel]

Heh heh heh living in an apartment with a hottie during college.