Apology Thread

7/23/2010 | vbmoneyspender

[vbmoneyspender]

In the old days, when someone wanted you to apologize it was for something you had done to them. And the way it worked was they would ask you for an apology and you would tell them to go screw themselves. But we live in a new age where apologies are done differently. Nowadays, the way apologies work is that you demand that someone you don't personally know apologize to someone else that you don't personally know. This is another form of modern outsourcing and, as such, has become quite the rage in the more technologically sophisticated areas of the United States.

As a result, in order to keep up with the times, I am creating this Apology Thread and starting it off with my own demands for apologies from people I have never met. First, I demand that George Lucas apologize to Star Wars fans for writing and directing Stars Wars Episodes 1, 2 and 3 and that he further apologize to movie fans in general for producing Howard the Duck. Second, I demand that Norm Coleman apologize to the good people of the state of Minnesota for losing to Al Franken in the 2008 senatorial race. And because this race had national implications, Norm Coleman may want to consider expanding his apology to include the citizens of all these United States. Third, I demand that Madonna apologize to Kabbalah worshippers for joining their religion and thereby making a mockery of it.

Now that I have issued my apology demands, I would like to invite my fellow freepers to issue their own apology demands to people they don't know.

And lastly, because I don't want this post to end on a purely negative note, I would like to personally thank Mitchell Mortaza for founding the Women's Lingerie Football League. Mitchell, if you are reading this, I just want to say "Never Give Up! Never Surender!"

[shibumi]

"ping the natives"

albaby needs to apologize for the stereotypical profiling he just engaged in.

The wife, sister-in-law and church can wait.

[Grizzled Bear]

I want “conservatives” who either stayed home in 2008 or voted for Bob Barf to apologize. They are just as responsible for 0bummer as the idiots who voted for him.

I'm sorry I held my nose and voted for McLame. I'm sorry he threw the election.

I'm sorry that since I vote absentee as a military member, and I didn't receive my absentee ballot (even though Michigan always sent my ballot before) and I had to fill out a provisional ballot, my vote against Obama was never counted.

[shibumi]

Maybe we should dedicate this thread to having all the blogpimps apologize to all the contributing FReepers for ripping off the site we support with their crass, self-serving, piggy-back schemes.

[Feline_AIDS]

I demand that Stephenie Meyer apologize for Twilight.

I demand that Jon Gosselin apologize to the people of the world for breathing our air.

I demand that Barack Obama apologize to Kenya for making it look so bad.

I demand that the Michelle Obama apologize to the White House mirrors for putting them through such unspeakable torture.

Finally, I demand that illegal immigrants apologize to the citizens of the US for stealing.

[jiggyboy]

I’ll add one from just a couple of days ago: that lady from the Journalist who described her rapturous glee if she were to see Rush Limbaugh having a heart attack, then apologizing “to anyone I may have offended” — not specifically Rush himself.

The “to anyone I may have offended” routine is a modern gimmick as well, as the offender pretends that there’s a possibility that nobody was offended at all, or at least does not deign to agree that a specific person or group of people were indeed mistreated.

[BigSkyFreeper]

ROFL

[shibumi]

How about the entire Congress and executive brach, plus half of the Supreme Court aplogize to the nation for impersonating real Americans.

.....and then go away.

[bd476]

shibumi wrote: "I think you should apologize to Tim Allen and the cast of Galaxy Quest for ripping off their catch phrase 'Never give up! Never surrender.' "

Shibumi, I think you should apologize to Britanick for ripping off their catch phrase "catch phrase" in this outstanding video.

[shibumi]

I demand you apologize for leaving the apostrophe out of the word “we’re.”

[shibumi]

Screw you.

[Nailbiter]

ping this thread has potential

[vbmoneyspender]

I’ll see your apology demand and raise it two whining protests that he was taken out of context

[MiddleEarth]

George HW Bush to apologize to broccoli and Dan Quayle to apologize to one potato.

[DJ MacWoW]

Dan Quayle to apologize to one potato.

Apologize to Quayle! He was setup! The broccoli did it!

[rabidralph]

Was this their attempt at disco?

[Nooseman]

I demand Paul Reubens apologize for not apologizing

[bd476]

shibumi wrote: "Screw you."

Waiting for an apology from someone like you is like waiting to step in the daily deposits left by my neighbor's dog manure - best avoided if at all possible.

[bd476]

vbmoneyspender wrote: "I’ll see your apology demand and raise it two whining protests that he was taken out of context"

I'll raise your apology demand and double your whining protests because you did not say which he was taken out of which context.

[Erasmus]

I demand that you apologize to Brenda Lee.

[onyx]

I apologize to Liberace for posting this pic too many times over the years. RIP Liberace.

I also apologize that I have to leave this thread for a while...lol.