Palin Bags a Bigfoot (Weekly World News)

Weekly World News ^

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WASILLA, AK - Records and eyewitnesses have come to light that prior to announcing her candidacy for the Vice Presidency; Sarah Palin shot a Bigfoot from a helicopter.

A government helicopter was seen flying low over the Chugach National Park with what witnesses described as “a sexy librarian shooting out the side.” Employees at a local bait shop report seeing a similar woman only hours before carrying an infant in a camouflage Baby Bjorn.

The Bigfoot, or Sasquatch as it is known in scientific circles, was found dead on the outskirts of the park, just south of Wasilla, Alaska. Preliminary forensics reports confirm that an adult male Sasquatch was shot in the face with Palin’s trademark 5mm M4 Carbine Assault Rifle.

Environmental groups are in an uproar at the hunting death of a rare and notoriously reclusive species. Efforts to have the Sasquatch placed on the endangered species list have met with repeated opposition from state legislature, since protecting the ‘Missing Link’ could be seen as validating evolution.

Conservatives have immediately rallied to their party’s new star, citing that gun ownership and hunting are indelible parts of American culture. Indeed this point is hard to argue, as John Adams was notorious for having captured what he called a “Skunk Ape” and killing it with his bare hands on the White House lawn in front of a paying audience.

[Boonie]

This could not have been Sarah....As one liberal so eloquently put it the other day, “I can’t support someone who shoots dead animals...”

[Red Badger]

Batboy is shocked !...................

[racnpartsales4u]

She can use the dead bigfoot carcass as a bait pile for polar bears now.

Classic case of recycling and a good pro green move.

[Loyalist]

Yes, yes, but has Bat Boy given his endorsement yet?

[Kimmers]

I also heard that sweat from her brow can shine precious metal.

[almcbean]

I heard her Sasquatch Stew is to die for

[markedmannerf]

This is funny

[Artemis Webb]

crypto ping?

[racnpartsales4u]

“Just don’t put her in Bill Clinton’s presidential library.”

She would not meet the minimum weight requirements.

[Liberty Valance]

"I can’t wait to get the Christmas card of Sarah and Todd mushing across the White House lawn, with all the kids in the sled."

LOL!

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No, but P’lod backed Obama!

[iowamark]

[sauropod]

You’re no fun.

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That’s what Bill said to Hillary.

[sauropod]

“I am woman, hear me roar, with a gun too big to ignore...”

[dragonblustar]

If you would like to be On or Off the Crypto Ping list, please let me know.

thanks, Dragonblustar

[dragonblustar]

In other news today, Helen Thomas is missing.

[nomodem]

...maybe it wasn’t really a Bigfoot - could it have been ManBearPig, perhaps?

[lowbridge]

This is outrageous. Everyone knows it isnt Bigfoot hunting season yet.

I think we have the makings of a real scandal here.

[Maceman]

I thought Weekly World News stopped publishing.