Posted on 09/16/2008 8:31:12 AM PDT by YourAdHere
WASILLA, AK - Records and eyewitnesses have come to light that prior to announcing her candidacy for the Vice Presidency; Sarah Palin shot a Bigfoot from a helicopter.
A government helicopter was seen flying low over the Chugach National Park with what witnesses described as “a sexy librarian shooting out the side.” Employees at a local bait shop report seeing a similar woman only hours before carrying an infant in a camouflage Baby Bjorn.
The Bigfoot, or Sasquatch as it is known in scientific circles, was found dead on the outskirts of the park, just south of Wasilla, Alaska. Preliminary forensics reports confirm that an adult male Sasquatch was shot in the face with Palin’s trademark 5mm M4 Carbine Assault Rifle.
Environmental groups are in an uproar at the hunting death of a rare and notoriously reclusive species. Efforts to have the Sasquatch placed on the endangered species list have met with repeated opposition from state legislature, since protecting the ‘Missing Link’ could be seen as validating evolution.
Conservatives have immediately rallied to their party’s new star, citing that gun ownership and hunting are indelible parts of American culture. Indeed this point is hard to argue, as John Adams was notorious for having captured what he called a “Skunk Ape” and killing it with his bare hands on the White House lawn in front of a paying audience.
Countdown to Matt Damon saying: “I don’t think I can support someone who would kill a bigfoot”
Quimby for Mayor! Palin for Librarian!
Big foot? Aw hell, I thought it was “big mouth” and figured Biden’s hair plugs went feral on him ...
Way to go Sarah!! After bagging a bigfoot, I know of a bigmouth she can go after next!
I can’t wait to get the Christmas card of Sarah and Todd mushing across the White House lawn, with all the kids in the sled.
BA
Lies! Everybody knows Bigfoot lives in Washington State.
Where can I get a 5mm assault weapon? ;)
Look for Michael Medved to be very concerned. If this is true, his support for Sarah might be diminished!
...and when the media reports on Damons comments, they will leave out the bigfoot mention because it makes him look like a fool for buying into it. (Just like they did with his “dinosaur” comment.)
That’s the most factually accurate MSM article on Palin to date!
The article failed to mention that Sarah used an “assault rifle” to assasinate the poor creature. Did she say that it tasted like chicken?
Matt Damon drinks toilet water.
The only shunk apes a bit south of Wasilla are democrat Anchorage politicians..
We need to chain ourselves to the nearest Ice berg in protest the horrible treatment of these bigfoots (also known as media elites.)
We need to chain ourselves to the nearest Ice berg in protest the horrible treatment of these bigfoots (also known as media elites.)
Just don’t put her in Bill Clinton’s presidential library.
An oft overlooked fact is that Sarah Palin was actually raised by wolves on the artic tundra. The wolves got scared and kicked her out of the pack when, at the age of ten, she killed a grizzler bare-handed.
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