Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Saturn Ring Shrinkage Result of Global Mating
Aol news page ^

Posted on 03/19/2008 6:21:16 PM PDT by Eleutheria5

What happened to Saturn's rings? Amateur astronomers have noticed something different when they peer through their telescopes recently. "The rings have narrowed considerably in the last year," one said. "The Cassini division (a dark gap in the rings) is getting hard to see."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: astronomy; catastrophism; globalmating; globalwarming; junkscience; moons; planets; rings; saturn; science
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-34 next last
Of course, it can all be traced back to Global Mating. As Mt. Everest continues to grow, it's only to be expected that an attractive neighboring planet might start responding. Saturn's rings are a sure sign that she's lubricated and ready to go. Unless we fill up the Grand Canyon with salt peter immediately, there's no telling what might happen. Since the military industrial complex and the powers elite will never destroy such a lucrative tourist atraction, we'll have only ourselves to blame if it's as you heard, and in the stars that next year we collide with Mars, Saturn, or even the Moon.

Furthermore, Global Mating can be directly traced to Global Warming. As the rain becomes warmer, it can no longer quell the Earth's manly urges with cold showers, because the rain is warmer. That is why Mt. Everest is growing.

1 posted on 03/19/2008 6:21:17 PM PDT by Eleutheria5
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Eleutheria5
If there's shrinkage problems there is no mating.
Don't scientists watch "Seinfeld" reruns?
2 posted on 03/19/2008 6:22:47 PM PDT by Tanniker Smith (I kid because I love . . . and I loved and now have kids.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Eleutheria5

Global Mating?! It’s the end!! We’re screwed!


3 posted on 03/19/2008 6:23:14 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Eleutheria5

Bush’s fault.


4 posted on 03/19/2008 6:23:55 PM PDT by Mercat (If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Eleutheria5

Bush’s fault! Eeeeevil Republicans driving SUVs!!! Dare I say irrefutable proof of man-made Global Warming!!


5 posted on 03/19/2008 6:24:18 PM PDT by coloradan (The US is becoming a banana republic, except without the bananas - or the republic.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mercat
Whitey's fault!
6 posted on 03/19/2008 6:24:55 PM PDT by OSHA (The best NY Dems can do is #9?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Eleutheria5
Anybody seen the Goracle lately? There's got to be SOMETHING that we can do about this! Hrumpf! Hrumpf!

Algore! Pick up a house phone!

7 posted on 03/19/2008 6:25:06 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer ("Global warming" CAUSES global cooling? Sounds like globaloney to me.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mercat
Bush’s fault.

Yeah, mating usually is....

8 posted on 03/19/2008 6:25:10 PM PDT by Tanniker Smith (I kid because I love . . . and I loved and now have kids.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Eleutheria5

I hope this is localized and that Uranus is not involved. Because that would just be wrong.


9 posted on 03/19/2008 6:25:55 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Slings and Arrows
Shrinkage and mating.... if it was just Uranus it would be a triple play.
10 posted on 03/19/2008 6:26:26 PM PDT by OSHA (The best NY Dems can do is #9?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ClearCase_guy

Interplanetary attraction run amok. ;-)


11 posted on 03/19/2008 6:26:31 PM PDT by doc1019 (God is in control ... not Global Warming.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Tanniker Smith

“If there’s shrinkage problems there is no mating.
Don’t scientists watch “Seinfeld” reruns?”

Ah, but the shrinkage is female, and analogous to a human female’s cervix rising in preparation for penetration. She wants it baby. Yeah, baby. She wants it.


12 posted on 03/19/2008 6:28:05 PM PDT by Eleutheria5 (http://www.publishedauthors.net/benmaxwell/index.html or try http://astore.amazon.com/bemasnebo-20)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Eleutheria5

Well it is cold on Mt. Everest and it’s really cold around Saturn, so I can see shrinkage being a problem.


13 posted on 03/19/2008 6:29:47 PM PDT by ElkGroveDan (When you choose the lesser of two evils, you still have evil.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: coloradan

Woman and children hit hardest.


14 posted on 03/19/2008 6:32:39 PM PDT by southernerwithanattitude ({new and improved redneck})
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: southernerwithanattitude

Global warming’s far reaching consequences!


15 posted on 03/19/2008 6:33:49 PM PDT by MtnClimber ("Bullfighting, Mountain Climbing and Auto-Racing are the only real sports.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: OSHA

God Damn Saturn!


16 posted on 03/19/2008 6:37:09 PM PDT by popdonnelly (Get Reid. Salazar, and Harkin out of the Senate.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Eleutheria5

Al Gore will be outraged that we’re messing up Saturn, too.


17 posted on 03/19/2008 6:38:56 PM PDT by popdonnelly (Get Reid. Salazar, and Harkin out of the Senate.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ClearCase_guy

Don’t worry. If anything happens to Uranus, it can always be replaced....

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1988204/posts


18 posted on 03/19/2008 6:43:38 PM PDT by Eepsy (The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: ClearCase_guy; Slings and Arrows
I hope this is localized and that Uranus is not involved. Because that would just be wrong.

Somebody must have forgotten to tell Eliot Spitzer.

19 posted on 03/19/2008 6:45:45 PM PDT by rabscuttle385 (I have great faith in the American people. I have no faith in the American government, however.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Mercat

Rove!!!


20 posted on 03/19/2008 6:47:22 PM PDT by Brilliant
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-34 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson