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Saturn Ring Shrinkage Result of Global Mating
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Posted on 03/19/2008 6:21:16 PM PDT by Eleutheria5
What happened to Saturn's rings? Amateur astronomers have noticed something different when they peer through their telescopes recently. "The rings have narrowed considerably in the last year," one said. "The Cassini division (a dark gap in the rings) is getting hard to see."
TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: astronomy; catastrophism; globalmating; globalwarming; junkscience; moons; planets; rings; saturn; science
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Of course, it can all be traced back to Global Mating. As Mt. Everest continues to grow, it's only to be expected that an attractive neighboring planet might start responding. Saturn's rings are a sure sign that she's lubricated and ready to go. Unless we fill up the Grand Canyon with salt peter immediately, there's no telling what might happen. Since the military industrial complex and the powers elite will never destroy such a lucrative tourist atraction, we'll have only ourselves to blame if it's as you heard, and in the stars that next year we collide with Mars, Saturn, or even the Moon.
Furthermore, Global Mating can be directly traced to Global Warming. As the rain becomes warmer, it can no longer quell the Earth's manly urges with cold showers, because the rain is warmer. That is why Mt. Everest is growing.
To: Eleutheria5
If there's shrinkage problems there is no mating.
Don't scientists watch "Seinfeld" reruns?
2
posted on
03/19/2008 6:22:47 PM PDT
by
Tanniker Smith
(I kid because I love . . . and I loved and now have kids.)
To: Eleutheria5
Global Mating?! It’s the end!! We’re screwed!
To: Eleutheria5
4
posted on
03/19/2008 6:23:55 PM PDT
by
Mercat
(If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue)
To: Eleutheria5
Bush’s fault! Eeeeevil Republicans driving SUVs!!! Dare I say irrefutable proof of man-made Global Warming!!
5
posted on
03/19/2008 6:24:18 PM PDT
by
coloradan
(The US is becoming a banana republic, except without the bananas - or the republic.)
To: Mercat
Whitey's fault!
6
posted on
03/19/2008 6:24:55 PM PDT
by
OSHA
(The best NY Dems can do is #9?)
To: Eleutheria5
Anybody seen the Goracle lately? There's got to be SOMETHING that we can do about this! Hrumpf! Hrumpf!
Algore! Pick up a house phone!
7
posted on
03/19/2008 6:25:06 PM PDT
by
FlingWingFlyer
("Global warming" CAUSES global cooling? Sounds like globaloney to me.)
To: Mercat
Bush’s fault.Yeah, mating usually is....
8
posted on
03/19/2008 6:25:10 PM PDT
by
Tanniker Smith
(I kid because I love . . . and I loved and now have kids.)
To: Eleutheria5
I hope this is localized and that Uranus is not involved. Because that would just be wrong.
To: Slings and Arrows
Shrinkage and mating.... if it was just Uranus it would be a triple play.
10
posted on
03/19/2008 6:26:26 PM PDT
by
OSHA
(The best NY Dems can do is #9?)
To: ClearCase_guy
Interplanetary attraction run amok. ;-)
11
posted on
03/19/2008 6:26:31 PM PDT
by
doc1019
(God is in control ... not Global Warming.)
To: Tanniker Smith
“If there’s shrinkage problems there is no mating.
Don’t scientists watch “Seinfeld” reruns?”
Ah, but the shrinkage is female, and analogous to a human female’s cervix rising in preparation for penetration. She wants it baby. Yeah, baby. She wants it.
12
posted on
03/19/2008 6:28:05 PM PDT
by
Eleutheria5
(http://www.publishedauthors.net/benmaxwell/index.html or try http://astore.amazon.com/bemasnebo-20)
To: Eleutheria5
Well it is cold on Mt. Everest and it’s really cold around Saturn, so I can see shrinkage being a problem.
13
posted on
03/19/2008 6:29:47 PM PDT
by
ElkGroveDan
(When you choose the lesser of two evils, you still have evil.)
To: coloradan
Woman and children hit hardest.
To: southernerwithanattitude
Global warming’s far reaching consequences!
15
posted on
03/19/2008 6:33:49 PM PDT
by
MtnClimber
("Bullfighting, Mountain Climbing and Auto-Racing are the only real sports.)
To: OSHA
16
posted on
03/19/2008 6:37:09 PM PDT
by
popdonnelly
(Get Reid. Salazar, and Harkin out of the Senate.)
To: Eleutheria5
Al Gore will be outraged that we’re messing up Saturn, too.
17
posted on
03/19/2008 6:38:56 PM PDT
by
popdonnelly
(Get Reid. Salazar, and Harkin out of the Senate.)
To: ClearCase_guy
18
posted on
03/19/2008 6:43:38 PM PDT
by
Eepsy
(The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.)
To: ClearCase_guy; Slings and Arrows
I hope this is localized and that Uranus is not involved. Because that would just be wrong. Somebody must have forgotten to tell Eliot Spitzer.
19
posted on
03/19/2008 6:45:45 PM PDT
by
rabscuttle385
(I have great faith in the American people. I have no faith in the American government, however.)
To: Mercat
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