Posted on 01/28/2007 11:38:21 AM PST by Gamecock
"One of the Christians said something about Darwin being a drunken, godless fool, and someone on the other side said Jesus was gay, and that pretty much did it," said a bystander holding ice to a bruise she'd suffered on her head in the ensuing melee. Six cars were damaged and the ground was littered with broken, silver shards of plastic, the remains of so-called "message fish."
Ten people were arrested, including five from a local Evangelical Free church. Partisans on both sides re-grouped and began launching regular attacks using small munitions. The conflict quickly spread to Wisconsin where citizen-militias have been raised and growing numbers of motorists are clashing over their insignias.
"This thing's been brewing for a while. It just happened to boil over here," said state police chief Marty Sorenson whose department is trying to contain the burgeoning guerilla war.
"It was pretty vicious," said Bill Henley, who witnessed a parking lot attack by 'IXOYE' guerillas in Racine. "They waited until the parking lanes were clear and then swooped in, shooting out the windows and tires of any car with the Darwin fish, and even cars with bumper stickers that said 'The goddess is alive' or 'Practice random acts of kindness.'"
Darwin-istas retaliated by bashing in windshields of cars bearing stickers that read "It's a CHILD, not a CHOICE," "My boss is a Jewish carpenter," and for good measure, any mini-van with a "My child is an honor student at ..." sticker.
Local law enforcers grumble that the conflict has been overshadowed by overseas terrorism and the war in Iraq.
"This is a big domestic issue that we're trying hard to keep localized," said Sorenson. "The feds need to intervene at some point to calm the situation."
Police are conducting house-to-house searches for IXOYE militia members in some cities. Militias have found safe harbor in churches and wooded areas. Anti-IXOYE fighters were found holed up in at least two universities and Planned Parenthood clinics. All motorists in the upper Midwest have been warned to cover or remove potentially inflammatory bumper stickers.
"If the hot-heads on both sides don't start behaving themselves, we'll demand FBI action and have a full-scale crackdown," says Sorenson. "These people should keep in mind these are criminal acts."
Dang.
You missed the fish car sign that reads "gefilte" in the middle. I find all those slightly offensive (they should get their own darn shapes rather than fish), but no car window bashing for me!
That's too funny! ;'}
"gefilte"
that's funny!
I too am of the same mindest (find your OWN symbol dangit!). The one I get a chuckle out of is the "fish" flying saucer one. And I take it as a spoof on the Darwinists!
Hmm. I'm waiting to get nailed for my "annoy a liberal" magnet on the back of my truck.
These people are pathetic. If the Christians participated in the vandalism, shame on them. If the unbelievers did, well, I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner.
My wife and I have a simple bumper sticker, "Got Ammo?"
Peace Elusive in Strife-Torn Midwest
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