Helvetica, Overcome: Geraldine Schott and her sons watch as
their badly damaged car is hauled away from a Shoneys parking lot.
They were victims of a June 26 Darwin-ista attack in St. Paul, Minn.
Posted on 01/28/2007 11:38:21 AM PST by Gamecock
"One of the Christians said something about Darwin being a drunken, godless fool, and someone on the other side said Jesus was gay, and that pretty much did it," said a bystander holding ice to a bruise she'd suffered on her head in the ensuing melee. Six cars were damaged and the ground was littered with broken, silver shards of plastic, the remains of so-called "message fish."
Ten people were arrested, including five from a local Evangelical Free church. Partisans on both sides re-grouped and began launching regular attacks using small munitions. The conflict quickly spread to Wisconsin where citizen-militias have been raised and growing numbers of motorists are clashing over their insignias.
"This thing's been brewing for a while. It just happened to boil over here," said state police chief Marty Sorenson whose department is trying to contain the burgeoning guerilla war.
"It was pretty vicious," said Bill Henley, who witnessed a parking lot attack by 'IXOYE' guerillas in Racine. "They waited until the parking lanes were clear and then swooped in, shooting out the windows and tires of any car with the Darwin fish, and even cars with bumper stickers that said 'The goddess is alive' or 'Practice random acts of kindness.'"
Darwin-istas retaliated by bashing in windshields of cars bearing stickers that read "It's a CHILD, not a CHOICE," "My boss is a Jewish carpenter," and for good measure, any mini-van with a "My child is an honor student at ..." sticker.
Local law enforcers grumble that the conflict has been overshadowed by overseas terrorism and the war in Iraq.
"This is a big domestic issue that we're trying hard to keep localized," said Sorenson. "The feds need to intervene at some point to calm the situation."
Police are conducting house-to-house searches for IXOYE militia members in some cities. Militias have found safe harbor in churches and wooded areas. Anti-IXOYE fighters were found holed up in at least two universities and Planned Parenthood clinics. All motorists in the upper Midwest have been warned to cover or remove potentially inflammatory bumper stickers.
"If the hot-heads on both sides don't start behaving themselves, we'll demand FBI action and have a full-scale crackdown," says Sorenson. "These people should keep in mind these are criminal acts."
Ping.
sorry...not all that funny.
Oh, I don't know. One side had the nerve to assail cars with "My Child is an Honor Student" stickers.
Other than that, there's no humor in it.
Are you sure this isn't scrappleface or iowahawk?
Lark news is spoof of all things evangelical.
A successful Irish boxer on one occasion was converted, and he grew in faith and became a preacher of the gospel. He happened to be in a new town setting up his evangelistic tent, and a couple of tough thugs noticed what he was doing. Knowing nothing of the evangelist's background, they made a few insulting remarks to him. The Irishman merely turned and looked at them. Pressing his luck, one of the bullies took a swing and struck a glancing blow on one side of the ex-boxer's face. He shook it off and said nothing as he stuck out his jaw to him again. The fellow took another glance and blew him on the side of the cheek. At that point, the preacher swiftly took off his coat, rolled up his sleeves and announced: 'The Lord gave me no further instructions' - bang!
Wow. I'm totally disappointed in the Christians. THEY (we) should know better.
Wait 'til they see my "My honor role student can kick your honor role student's ass" sticker ;'}
That's a pretty good one.
I really think the message about such things is to not seek revenge, since it belongs to God. Though there's nothing wrong with defending yourself against physical harm.
My NRA sticker has generated more than a few road rage attacks, one beep and a thumbs up, and a few calls to 1-800-got-agun resulting in felony stops. Some people just suck.
Carolyn
We just saw one on the web: "My dressage horse is smarter than your honor student"
I think we'll get it.
These "Christians" need to research the subject, Darwin may have been a doubter, but he was not "godless". They should heed the scriptural admonitions about making baseless accusations.
And the taunt."and someone on the other side said Jesus was gay, and that pretty much did it,"
is nothing to worry about either. Christ doesn't need us to defend him. Turning the other cheek gets good results here.
Hard to tell for sure, but that looks like a Montana license plate.
The Christian was in the wrong starting the problem.
That'll scare the crap out of 'em. :^))
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