i'm nobody to give advise, sooo... Prayers Up.I am asking for fellow Freepers to please help this person if you have any good advice for our friend.
**I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem. **
I am sure this person knows that asking for forgiveness is the key componenet here. The Lord cannot forgive unless we confess. Seek out a priest connected with the AA program and sit down and talk with him. He will be so glad he did!!
That's where I was on June 13, 1988.
Tho raised in the church, I could not bring myself to ask for God's help with my life, and had pretty much consigned myself to drinking myself to death. So... God decided to take matters into his own hands... on the way home after spending the day at Lake Travis, helping Austin Yacht Club empty their kegs left over from the weekend's regatta, I ran off the road at a curve that I'd successfully negotiated 4 bazillion tomes before.
Hit a tree at ~40mph without my seatbelt on, went halfway thru the windshield on the passenger side..
..and walked away from it...
I laid in bed the next day, having that wreck replayed to me, over and over and over again, without a doubt in my mind as to who the 'projectionist' was. Started calling a few friends to tell them what had happened again (this was my 9th wreck & 8th totaled vehicle), until I finally called my little sister. My atheist little sister, I might add, who told me that 'perhaps God had taken my last card away'.
That was my moment of clarity, when I knew that I couldn't keep living the way I was living. Can't say that it was all peaceful feeling, more like I felt the slate was being wiped clean, and God was telling me - what do you want to do it about this, it's up to you to decide what all this means. I made it to my 1st AA meeting 2 days later. I remember when they circled up at the end of the meeting, to "close in an unusual manner' as I mis-heard the chairperson say. It was certainly an unusual manner for me.
They started the Lord's Prayer, and I could have easily thought 'Oh jeez, this is a religious cult' and decided it wasn't for me.
Instead, I remember feeling that God was talking to me once again 'See? I'm here, too, r4f. You made it to the right place'.
I got the one thing I needed that day at my first meeting - I got hope, the hope that I could actually stop drinking, after drinking pretty much every day for the prior 22 years.
It's been 18 years as of last June 14th, and for that I am grateful. I show my gratitude by working with sponsees, and still making meetings regularly, waiting for the next 'r4f' to walk in with that look of terror in their eyes that says that they have no idea how to stop.
That's the only way I can even begin to repay the debt that I owe to the folks who were sitting in my 1st meeting, waiting for me to walk in and say "My name is Ready4Freddy, and I'm an alcoholic..."
Tell our fellow FReeper that he or she needs to CHOOSE life! satan would love to eliminate this person from the face of the earth. he comes against us with any number of demonic spirits and this precious one needs to press into God and ask for deliverance from these thoughts.
God has placed you, dear one, on this earth for a purpose. satan wants to thwart that purpose. CHOOSE LIFE! Read healing scriptures from the Bible. Learn them, throw them in satan's face whenever you get thoughts of despair or suicide. God has a purpose for YOU. I will pray for you, too.
The 'stoic, medicated, spooked, depressed sober' you who will be trusted again even with 'deep issues'. Depression doesn't last forever. It just feels like it. HANG IN THERE! It will get better. I am an expert on the subject, not by choice, but by being the child of an alcoholic.
Sometimes it's difficult to pray to God, knowing that we're in ongoing sin that we, for whatever reason, cannot at that point in time extricate ourselves.
God wants you to call out to Him. Talk to him as you would a friend. I went through something quite a few years ago that I knew God would disapprove of. I thought I knew better than God and that that particular situation was right for me. I ended up praying that He would help me live my life in His will, and if He wanted me out of that situation, I needed His help. Shortly after I started praying that way, the situation resolved itself, not the way I'd originally hoped for, but in the long run I can see the wisdom of God's way as opposed to what I'd hoped for.
What I'm saying is that sometimes we're too weak to do what we should do, so asking God to help us to make that change will help. Rather than avoiding prayer because you're ashamed, please go to God and ask him to help you through your situation so that you can live the way He wants you to. He knows we're not perfect and that we're weak.
I'll pray for you, whoever you are. :-)
a) The man felt put upon because he had no shoes until he met a man with no feet..
b) another man felt put upon because he had no feet until he met a man with no feet or arms..
c) another man felt put upon because he had no feet or arms until he met a man with no feet, arms and was BLIND..
** like that... count you're blessings, count them one by one.. there are thousands that would like to be in your place...
What a truly inspirational thread.
I am praying for your FRiend.
I can't offer any advice, but I can pray. Prayers on the way.
Your feelings are no different from many practicing alcoholics. Many of us suffered from depression and worthlessness - that is one of the reasons I drank. When I got some time under my belt, the feelings begin to change, the fogginess began to disappear and, with the help of the steps and my sponsor, my whole attitude on life was totally altered. It does get better, I promise.
...which me is better: the happy, intoxicated, likely-to-be-shorter-lived friend of everyone, or the stoic, medicated, spooked, depressed sober me who no one will ever trust again since he had such "deep issues".
I'm familiar with the quandary. What works for me may sound impossibly simple but I vouch for its transforming effectiveness. Replace the happy intoxication of alcohol with the more potent, longer lasting high of endorphins. Also known as endomorphines, these neurotransmitters, like alcohol, kill pain. Let's face it, life is painful.
Divert your drinking money to membership at a good gym. If there are several in your area shop around and find the one you like best. Get a good basic orientation from a staff member on aerobic and weight training and then work up a sweat at least three times a week. Go even when you don't feel like you can. Go especially when you feel that way.
Or ride a bike. (Wear your helmet!)
In less than two weeks, maybe within a week, the dark clouds in your hurtin' head will start to clear. I promise.
Remain the "happy, intoxicated friend of everyone" but live long and maybe even with a reasonable sense of well being.
"...it's a serious question about which me is better: the happy, intoxicated, likely-to-be-shorter-lived friend of everyone, or the stoic, medicated, spooked, depressed sober me who no one will ever trust again since he had such "deep issues"."
Maybe this is part of the problem; too much of your happiness depends on what others think of you. This is about you, no one else.
And never feel that you can't pray to God. He's not waiting to beat you over the head with a stick because you're defeated. Defeated, He can handle. Pride, He won't (at least not in a good way). It's not like He doesn't know what's going on anyway, so you might as well talk to Him.
Get in patient care and don't leave early like my son did.He died Aug 2nd.His name is Ed.I will pray for you FRiend.
Please notify me via FReepmail if you would like to be added to or taken off the Prayer Ping List.
Please post your prayers to RobFromGa;
Alcohol is a mood-altering drug, the long-term effects of which take a while to wear off. He needs to give it some time before deciding whether he can cope or not. After detox and treatment, he may find the world a much brighter, better place after all.
Be aware that I only know of this academically, not from personal experience. Doesn't my comments any less true, but it does make my understanding more limited than it would be.
Geez Rob, I have no advice to offer this Freeper friend other than for him to talk to his pastor directly and ask for guidance. He is obviously hurting and feels that his church (I'm assuming he has one) will forsake him but assure him that his Church is there specifically for his salvation if he can only accept it..........
i'm nobody to give advise, sooo... Prayers Up.Tell Him God gives him time to heal... to use it... one day at a time...
Prayers offered.
The short version of the Serenity Prayer is a prayer that has been a great help to members of my family. We have often had to remind each other to use it, even though it works so well, because it is often answered so quietly.
Many prayers for our Recovering Freeper.