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'Marriage Is for White People'
Washington Post ^ | 3/26/6 | Joy Jones

Posted on 03/25/2006 11:08:03 PM PST by Crackingham

I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether.

But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry. My time never came. For years, I wondered why not. And then some 12-year-olds enlightened me.

"Marriage is for white people."

That's what one of my students told me some years back when I taught a career exploration class for sixth-graders at an elementary school in Southeast Washington. I was pleasantly surprised when the boys in the class stated that being a good father was a very important goal to them, more meaningful than making money or having a fancy title.

"That's wonderful!" I told my class. "I think I'll invite some couples in to talk about being married and rearing children."

"Oh, no," objected one student. "We're not interested in the part about marriage. Only about how to be good fathers."

And that's when the other boy chimed in, speaking as if the words left a nasty taste in his mouth: "Marriage is for white people."

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: blackfamily; education; marriage; people; racist; racists; white
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To: durasell
Most of the problems I have heard about are from kids who are older than infants before they get into the foster care system.

While there would be some exceptions I would think most infants could be saved...

Also such a policy would ultimately reduce the number of such infants since it would undermine the cultural norm in some communities that encourages teenage pregnancy.

imho within two generations there would be a major turnaround in the black "underclass" if this policy were "adopted". :-)
81 posted on 03/26/2006 2:47:01 AM PST by cgbg (When you hear the words "gender" or "stakeholder" run for your life!)
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To: cgbg

Want to adopt a kid? You're in luck. Here's the NYC website..

http://www.coac.org/about/mission.shtml

An excerpt:

About 6,500 of these 17,000 children have the permanency goal of adoption, and approximately 3,500 are legally free to be adopted. While many of these children have an adoptive family, a significant number do not: over 400 children have been legally free for adoption for more than one year, and have no identified adoptive family as yet. COAC's target population is the hardest to place group of children with special needs - older (8-17 years old), physically or emotionally challenged, and sibling groups. They are the victims of the problems of their parents and our society, placed in foster care due to neglect, abuse, poverty, substance abuse, and homelessness.

I'll translate the above paragraph for you. Many of these kids are probably already broken beyond repair with the odds seriously stacked against them for anything approaching a normal life. Many have problems ranging from FAS to neurological problems from drug abuse from the mother while pregnant.





82 posted on 03/26/2006 2:51:36 AM PST by durasell (!)
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To: Lancey Howard
"Ingrate Society"
LOL! I hadn't seen that one, but it just has the ring of a classic (probably an oldie, and I just didn't get the word).

I like to make the point that leftists coopt the word "society" but the word is actually for conservatives. The trick is that when leftists say "society" they actually mean nothing other than government.

When LBJ promised a "Great Society," he was actually slandering America (in that it already was a society, and a great one), and he was actually promising a great government. Note that if there is no difference between "society" and "government," that government is a tyranny.


83 posted on 03/26/2006 3:01:23 AM PST by conservatism_IS_compassion (The idea around which liberalism coheres is that NOTHING actually matters but PR.)
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To: DB

I noticed that.....was going to post...


84 posted on 03/26/2006 3:10:27 AM PST by teldon30 (Far right, elitist, sexist, cynical religious bigot and looter)
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To: dfwgator
As bad as Jimmy Carter may have been as President, LBJ did a lot more damage to this country than Jimmy Carter ever could have done.
The Democrats have fielded some pretty bad candidates for POTUS, and some of the worst of them have actually won. When they are in office, each one seems worse that the last. If you try to "defend" Carter, just remember how great Reagan was in comparison! Remember, Iran was a valued ally of the US when Carter took office! Remember Stagflation?

Democrats would not have hesitated for a month to impeach any Republican who had a Craig Livingstone in their WH - and did not even prosecute him!


85 posted on 03/26/2006 3:19:01 AM PST by conservatism_IS_compassion (The idea around which liberalism coheres is that NOTHING actually matters but PR.)
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To: nickcarraway

Why? Men who would have married will go with other men instead?


86 posted on 03/26/2006 3:23:46 AM PST by linda_22003
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To: Crackingham
Without the foundation societal building block of stable families to sustain it, any culture or society is doomed to failure or at least confined to such an existence that when they look up, the curb of the street will seem like "high ground".
87 posted on 03/26/2006 3:56:58 AM PST by Caipirabob (Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: Post Toasties
I think those statistics are compelling and illuminating. Thanks

But, here again, as with all such sociological stats, we have to be careful with the correlation. How much of the one-parent household phenomenon causes poverty, violence, etc. and how much are one-parent households CAUSED BY poverty, violence, etc.? Sounds like both contribute to the other, exacerbating each other in an endless cycle. I would be happier to see each of those factors evaluated separately, especially the violence.

88 posted on 03/26/2006 4:00:09 AM PST by jammer
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To: Paleo Conservative
The 'gift' that just keeps giving.
"The Great Society" - What's so "great" about it?
When he promised a "great society," he implicitly criticized the one we had. It had its faults; segregation was still dying. But historically the Great Government - leftists never mean anything but government when they say "society" - agenda is clearly a great disaster.

What was great about the Johnson Administration? Its hubris. It was loaded with it.


89 posted on 03/26/2006 4:08:53 AM PST by conservatism_IS_compassion (The idea around which liberalism coheres is that NOTHING actually matters but PR.)
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To: LWalk18

Your determination is admirable and deserves all of our - and society's - support. I sincerely hope you find a mate with whom you can have children and raise a fine family. I deeply empathize with your situation. As a lawyer, I've known a number of very talented, attractive black women lawyers who have remained single because they could not find black men they believed would take the responsibilities of marriage and a family seriously. Keep yourself open to good men who see your quality regardless of race, and don't lower your standards for quality in men.


90 posted on 03/26/2006 4:14:47 AM PST by CatoRenasci (Ceterum Censeo Arabiam Esse Delendam -- Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit)
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>>>>"A woman who takes that step is bold and brave," one young single mother told me. "Women don't want to marry because they don't want to lose their freedom."

And then they become targetted victims.

http://www.lauramansfield.com/j/smalltownusa-5.asp

Jihad in Small Town America: Part 5 of a Series

by Laura Mansfield

Editor’s Note: African Americans make up 30% of those attending US mosques (Sunni), according to a study published by the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR).

The same CAIR study shows that 63% of new converts to Islam in the United States are African American.

I have often wondered how Islam can be so appealing to minorities.

I knew from personal observations that many Muslims felt that they shared many commonalities with minority groups – especially African-Americans and Hispanics. I have heard many Muslims express a solidarity of sorts with these groups, claiming as the basis the fact that Muslims too felt that they were discriminated against by the white Anglo-Saxon majority.

But until I received the video tape from a woman who taped the recruiting session earlier this summer at her local mosque, I did not understand the extent to which targeted recruitment was going on. I was also quite surprised what appears to be extensive racial stereotyping going on in this presentation

I have received the tape numerous times and have verified its authenticity.

The following article is an accurate representation of the session that was videotaped in a mosque near Atlanta, GA.

"Allah sent the Qu'ran to Mohamed to save the girl babies in Arabia who were being killed as soon as they were born; he sent the Qu'ran to America to save all the babies that are being killed before they even have a chance to be born."

The woman speaking was Sister Zuhayla, and the setting was a classroom in a mosque in suburban Atlanta.

Zuhayla was speaking at a "free seminar" at the mosque designed to teach women how to be happier and turn their life around.

I'll have to admit Zuhayla was one of the most compelling speakers I have heard in quite some time. She was a very attractive large black woman who reminded very much of Starr Jones. She was comfortable with her weight and exuded self-confidence.

Most of the women in the seminar room were young black American women.

Many had young children in the classroom across the hall, where free childcare was being provided. Almost all of the women were in jeans, wearing camis and low cut shirts. They were in sharp contrast to Zuhayla, who was covered from head to toe.

Zuhayla immediately put them at ease. She walked outside the door, said a few words to the two hijab-clad women sitting outside the door, and then closed and locked the door.

"Ladies, ain't no men here; what do you say we get comfortable?" she exclaimed, pulling off her hijab and long dress. The women in the audience looked at each other in surprise, then many of them started laughing.

Underneath her modest Islamic, Zuhayla was wearing jeans and a sexy summer top.

"Girlfriends, we just wear this hijab when the men are around. When we're home with our families, or are just around other women, we want to look fine too."

Zuhayla had managed to connect to her audience right away, and from that point on she had their complete attention.

"Let me tell you my story. I'll bet lots of you have the same story," she began.

"Five years ago, my man had left me. I had two babies, and one on the way. I didn't have no job, no money, no place to live. I stayed with a friend for a few nights, then another friend, like that. Then I started having labor pains but I wasn't even 6 months. So I went to the hospital and they put me in a room with this other woman named Khadija."

"Well, I have to tell you, girlfriends, there was an angel looking out for me that day, hamdullellah. We got to talking and when she heard about the fix I was in, she picked up the phone. 'Fore I knew it, she'd found me a place to stay. Then she got the social worker at the hospital to come get my Medicaid started, and even got me a job over at the mosque in the preschool", she continued.

"Now I don't know about you but no one ever did anything like that for me without expecting something big in return, so I didn't quite trust her. But after I got out of the hospital, she called and came to see me, and stopped by to visit me at the preschool. And when my Amir was born, Khadijah took care of my other babies, and the women from the mosque made sure I had everything I needed for him too."

"But the best thing they gave me was teaching me about Islam."

The women were staring in rapt attention. Zuhayla was someone they could relate too. Most of the women in the group were black, and most were single mothers, many with children from different fathers.

Zuhayla immediately honed in on this commonality. “Girls, let me tell you, becoming a Muslim was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. You know what, Islam is designed for women. That ain’t what you here on the news, but it is.”

"Allah sent the Qu'ran to Mohamed to save the girl babies in Arabia who were being killed as soon as they were born; he sent the Qu'ran to America to save all the babies that are being killed before they even have a chance to be born."

“See, before the prophet Mohamed, peace be unto him – we say that every time we say his name. Before the prophet Mohamed, peace be unto him came, nobody wanted to have girl babies. The pagans would bury the girl children in the desert right after they were born. Girls were nothing but trouble. Islam changed all that. One of the first things the prophet Mohamed, peace be unto him did was to stop people from killing the girl babies. Then to make sure that the women were protected, Allah told him to let the men have four wives, and to treat them all good.”

Zuhayla went on to explain in depth her views on the role of women in Islam, and on how woman-friendly the religion actually was.

“Listen here – how many of your men step out on you? Every last one of you, right? Let me tell you, every man in the world has got to have more than one woman. That’s just their nature. Well, in Islam the man can have four women. But he’s got to commit to all of them and treat them all good. He can’t treat one like a queen and make the other 3 her maids. No. He has to treat all equal. You don’t like to share? Girls, you’re sharing already – you just don’t know it. This way you know who your man be with, and you don’t have to worry bout him bringing home no surprises.”

The women in the room nodded agreement with her.

“What about your kids? Do your men take care of them?”

There were shouts of “no” from the women in the audience.

“Well, a Muslim man has to take care of his family. If he can’t the mosque will help. They’ll make him take care of them. They’ll even help find jobs if you need them. And we’ve got lots of fine men here looking for fine women too!”

Then she shifted into the final sales pitch – playing the so-called “race card”. “

You girls know that what I’m saying in true. How many of you go to church?”

There was mixed reaction from the women. Some said they went to church regularly, others acknowledged going occasionally, and a few said they hadn’t been to church since they were children.

“Well, sisters, let me tell you that Islam worships the same God that your Baptist, your Methodist, your Holiness churches worship. Same God. Allah is that God. He is the one and only true God. But here’s the difference. By the time our prophet Mohamed, peace be unto him, came along, the Christian religion had already been perverted. It was already turning into a religion of the white man. You see pictures of Jesus in your church? He’s a white man isn’t he? But let me tell you prophet Mohamed, peace be unto him, was a black man just like me and you. He understood us. And he set down a way of life for us in the Quran.”

After answering a few questions, Zuhayla wrapped up the seminar. She invited those women who wanted to become Muslims to stay afterwards for a private meeting, where they could say the “shehada”. She explained that the women of the mosques would even provide them with Islamic clothing.

In closing she invited all participants to come back for another meeting. She handed out certificates that they could use for a free week of day care at the child care center affiliated with the mosque.

After listening to this “sales pitch”, it is easy to see that Islamic outreach in the United States is targeting this segment of the population.

This particular speaker was extremely adept at recruiting for Islam. She focused on the issues she knew were important to the women in the audience: their children, the men in their lives, and their relationship with the men. Her closing pitch, claiming that Christianity was a “white” religion, while Islam was a religion for blacks, clearly resonated with her audience.


91 posted on 03/26/2006 4:18:48 AM PST by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: BunnySlippers

How else could mama explain to this little bastard that he has no daddy?


92 posted on 03/26/2006 4:27:41 AM PST by freeangel ( (free speech is only good until someone else doesn't like what you say))
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To: dfwgator

When one talks about Clinton, Carter, and LBJ, it's essentially like diving the bottom of a septic tank and trying to find the vilest piece of filth there. We all have our own candidate and can all make compelling arguments.


93 posted on 03/26/2006 4:28:15 AM PST by libstripper
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To: BunnySlippers

...whitey...


94 posted on 03/26/2006 4:33:07 AM PST by sit-rep (If you acquire, hit it again to verify...)
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To: 4U2OUI

The solution is to GET RID/Tear down/CRIMINALIZE the people like Jesse Jackson and prompt up true leaders.



Bill Cosby to Blacks: Stop Blaming 'The White Man'
By Marc Morano
CNSNews.com Senior Staff Writer
July 02, 2004

Chicago (CNSNews.com) - Bill Cosby pleaded with blacks to stop blaming the "white man" for their problems on Thursday, and he reiterated his harsh critique of the current state of African-American culture.

"It is almost analgesic to talk about what the white man is doing against us, and it keeps a person frozen in their seat. It keeps you frozen in your hole that you are sitting in to point up and say, 'That's the reason why I am here.' We need to stop this," Cosby said in an address before Jesse Jackson's 33rd Annual Rainbow/PUSH Coalition conference in Chicago.

The 66-year-old Cosby struck an introspective tone. "There is a time, ladies and gentlemen, when we have to turn the mirror around," he told the crowd of 500 people at the Sheraton hotel.

Cosby bristled at any notion that he should tone down his views so they will not be taken out of context and exploited.

"I couldn't care less about what white people think about me at this time," he said to loud applause.

"Let them talk! What are they saying that is different from what their grandfather said? What are they doing or trying to do to us that their grandfathers didn't try to do to us? But what is different is what we are doing to ourselves," Cosby said.

The entertainer has been at the center of a racially charged controversy since May when he ridiculed the poor grammar of some blacks. "I can't even talk the way these people talk, 'Why you ain't,' 'Where you is' ... and I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk," Cosby said in Washington, D.C. on May 17, at an event marking the anniversary of the Brown v. Board of Education desegregation ruling.

On Thursday, Cosby urged blacks to take personal responsibility for their lives, and he hinted that social welfare programs may be having unintended consequences for African-Americans.

"The housing project was set up for you to move in, move up, and move out," he said.

Being poor had a different meaning to older generations, according to Cosby.

"If you go up to people -- when you ask them and you say, 'Were you poor?' they would say, 'No, no, our parents were broke, but we were not poor.' There was a spirit in that house," he explained.

His message to black people who say he's exposing the "dirty laundry" of the black community was blunt.

"Let me tell you something, your dirty laundry gets out of school at 2:30 every day. It's cursing and calling each other 'nigger' as they're walking up and down the street. They think they hip -- can't read, can't write -- 50 percent of them," he said.

'An accepted word'

Cosby stressed the importance of education and proper parenting.

"The more you invest in that child, the more you are not going to let some CD tell your child how to curse and how to say the word 'nigger.' This is an accepted word. You are so hip with 'nigger,' but you can't even spell it," an impassioned Cosby lamented

Whatever happened to 'Black is beautiful?' Well, it was replaced with 'nigger please,'" he said to laughter.

Cosby's message on Thursday was part common sense and part shock value.

"Education, ladies and gentleman, respect the elderly, respect for yourselves, respect for others," Cosby said.

"These young girls have no business having sex!" he emphasized as the crowd clapped approvingly.

"We got too many young girls who don't know how to parent, turning themselves into parents. Ladies and gentlemen, our little eight-year-old boys, nine-year-old boys, having erections and only acting out that which they see and hear on some CD. They're acting that out and they don't know the damage that they are doing when they rape some little girl nine years old and what they have done to her whole life. It's time to stop!" an animated Cosby said.

Cosby also took on the pop culture of music, movies and television.

"When you put on a record, and that record is yelling 'nigger this' and 'nigger that' and cursing all over the thing and you got your little six-year-old and seven-year-old sitting in the back seat of the car -- those children hear that. And I am telling you when you put it the CD on and then you get up and dance to it -- What are you saying to your children?" he asked.

"Eight-year-old, nine-year-old boys have no business teaming up to rape a nine-year or ten-year-old girl. And if it's in that TV set, don't bring it into your home, if it's on your record player, don't bring it in your home," he said.

"We are going to call each other names of ugliness. Comedians coming on TV [saying] 'I am so ugly, you are ugly, yuck, yuck.' That's all minstrel show stuff. I am tired of it," he continued.

"I am talking about profanity. I am talking about cursing at each other like it's something hip, like it's something that's right. I am talking about people calling each other a name that there are still -- if DNA goes to the Mississippi River-- you are gong to find African blood in there, dead from being called nigger and then hacking them," he added.

Sounding like a motivational preacher at times, Cosby even joked "I can just talk for 12 hours on this and not have a collection."

'Taken care of at home'

Parents have to take charge of their children as part of a "parent power" plan, according to Cosby.

"You going to tell me that you are going to drop out of school? You are going to tell me that you are going to steal from a store? These things need to be taken care of in the home," he said to applause.

"Where did we get so comfortable -- when and who gave us the word that said, 'You don't need to know how to read and write again?'" Cosby asked.

"Before you get to the point where you say, 'I can't do nothing with them,' I am just saying, 'Do something with them,'" he added.

Today's generation of African-American youth does not appreciate or understand the sacrifices of its elders, Cosby said.

"Understand, your children have to know where you came from. And they have to know about those people hanging [during the civil rights struggles] and how when they did hang them on a Sunday, the theme song was "Amazing Grace." That is what they sang when the bodies were hanging. Your children don't know that, your grandchildren don't know it," he said.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it hurts, it hurts, because these children don't know about their poor mothers and fathers, they don't know about how there was no done deal [regarding the civil rights struggle]," he explained.

Too many African-Americans are not motivated to better their life, Cosby said.

"The analgesic of cursing and profanity and standing around and just letting the day go by and wake up the next morning to start your next day of moving this day along -- you'll have no picture that is large enough to take you out of where you going," he said.

'Going nowhere'

Cosby focused much of his attention on African-American youth.

"They put themselves on the train, you know, the buses, and they don't even care what color or what age somebody else is, it's about them and their cursing and grabbing each other and laughing and giggling and they're going nowhere. Their book bags are very, very thin," he added.

Cosby also pleaded with black men to improve their ways.

"Young men and old men, you've gotta stop beating up your women because you didn't find a job, because you didn't want to get an education and now you are [earning] minimum wage. You should have thought more of yourself when you were in high school," he said.

"When you beat up your woman, when you beat up your wife, those little children are watching, it's almost irreparable, you can't get it back what you've done to that child," he added.

Cosby's own personal life has come under scrutiny in the past for his admitted extra marital affair with a woman named Shawn Byers in the 1970s. Byers' daughter, Autumn Jackson, has publicly claimed that Cosby is her father.

Jackson was convicted of extortion because of her attempts to blackmail Cosby. Cosby has denied he is Jackson's father, but he admitted providing financial support for her.

'Our people agree'

An emotional Jesse Jackson told the crowd on Thursday that many in the media have tried to exploit Cosby's words and divide the black community, but Jackson said it would not work.

"Bill is saying, 'Let's fight the right fight, let's level the playing field," Jackson explained. "Drunk people can't do that. Illiterate people can't do that," he added.

Earlier in the week, Jackson said, "Our people agree with Bill...Bill took it to another level. His point was to lift up and not tear down," he added.

Judge Greg Mathis, the no-nonsense star of the syndicated television program "The Judge Mathis Show", also spoke at the event and defended Cosby's words as well.

"We should not allow anyone, any media, to try and turn us against one who is indeed our father," Mathis said.


95 posted on 03/26/2006 4:33:39 AM PST by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: cgbg

You said -- "Draconian but it will end the problem--any single mother below the age of eighteen has six months to find a husband--or she loses the kid."

Well..., that's the perfect billboard and poster for the promotion of abortion and infanticide.

I remember Francis Schaeffer making arguments against abortion, and pointing out how (if we were really against abortion and against infanticide) that we needed to support the young mother, at her moment of crisis.

Now..., on the other hand -- this particular tough love that you advocate -- will simply be another bullet-point in the list of bullet-pointed items for the promotion of abortion and, eventually, the inclusion of infanticide as a solution.

Francis Schaeffer said that infanticide was coming as a result of our attitudes towards this -- and he was right.

Regards,
Star Traveler


96 posted on 03/26/2006 4:35:49 AM PST by Star Traveler
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To: dfwgator

Yep...the putrid legacy of LBJ lives, ruining the black culture that was much stronger and successful in the 40s and 50s than it has been since his "Great Society" answered the question "Who's your daddy/" with "the federal government." That political strategy worked so well turning the Indian reservations into a bunch of dependent winos, that the Dems knew it would work in the black ghettos as well. Both groups will turn out 105% to vote for Hellery, so they knew what they were doing.


97 posted on 03/26/2006 4:37:40 AM PST by kittymyrib
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To: MonroeDNA

You said -- "At least they will not be doing crack, or dealing it. Tough love rules!!!!"

Yeah, sure..., that's the exact place where they'll be introduced to drugs, drug-dealing and learn to be prostitutes and pimps -- if you're referring to the "state" raising them.

Regards,
Star Traveler


98 posted on 03/26/2006 4:37:56 AM PST by Star Traveler
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To: cgbg

You said -- "Babies of any race would find plenty of takers."

Yeah, I hear homosexuals are at the top of the list of takers and the state favors them.

Regards,
Star Traveler


99 posted on 03/26/2006 4:39:41 AM PST by Star Traveler
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To: Crackingham

What a sad commentary on the consequences of LBJ's "Great" Society.


100 posted on 03/26/2006 4:41:37 AM PST by manwiththehands (Islam is as Islam does. Islam is as Islam allows.)
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