Posted on 03/25/2006 11:08:03 PM PST by Crackingham
I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether.
But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry. My time never came. For years, I wondered why not. And then some 12-year-olds enlightened me.
"Marriage is for white people."
That's what one of my students told me some years back when I taught a career exploration class for sixth-graders at an elementary school in Southeast Washington. I was pleasantly surprised when the boys in the class stated that being a good father was a very important goal to them, more meaningful than making money or having a fancy title.
"That's wonderful!" I told my class. "I think I'll invite some couples in to talk about being married and rearing children."
"Oh, no," objected one student. "We're not interested in the part about marriage. Only about how to be good fathers."
And that's when the other boy chimed in, speaking as if the words left a nasty taste in his mouth: "Marriage is for white people."
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
Both our older children have married children from broken homes. So there are a whole host of issues there.
Oh,for sure,a twp parent family upbringing brought me all kinds of advantages like the ones you mentioned.
But my folks were always playing power games based on fear.Being a man,I sympathized with my dad,a good hearted,kind man with a gentle soul.My mom was the hard driving aggressive sort and she thought she had married beneath her stature.
I have a lot of my dad in me.I stay away from hard nosed, ambitious women who are loud and belligerent.
Of course nowadays that doesn't leave much to choose from!
Its really a crapshoot.Right now I am so cynical about relationships its pathetic.
I teach in ghetto schools in my fair city and I observe the conversations going on between young black men and women.I will just sum it up by saying these conversations are not based on mutual respect and intellectual substance.
Then again,neither were mine in my high school days!
I've known some women like this. (My uncle married one -- same situation -- disdain from her, kindness from him.) Got to be heck for sons, and not a great experience for daughters either.
Testing
Don't worry, after homosexual civil unions become law, marriages among whites will sink precipitously.
I have of late been labelling Jimmy as the worst foreign policy President of my lifetime, and LBJ as the worst domestic policy President in that period.
And if I had to say which was worse, I'd run with your assessment.
Hispanics are white.
Simple. Cut off all welfare, period, including the earned income thing.
No food stamps, no nothing.
Harsh? yup. Blacks 70 years ago would shun blacks of today.
There are many, many other faces that should be in that post.
Several of them sit in Congress.
What do you attribute the recent change in humanity that so many more people aren't cut out for marriage? Global warming?
And the kid gets to be "state raised?"
Bring bak orphanages.
At least they will not be doing crack, or dealing it. Tough love rules!!!!
Yeah, that'll work.
There's a tremendous surplus of foster kids in the system who will never be adopted. Basically, they're shuttled from foster home to foster home until 18 and then it's, "See ya..."
Also, a lot of these kids have serious emotional problems, many of them inflicted pre-birth.
Particularly if they were stupid enough to marry Bobby Brown.
[::rimshot::]
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