Moms should stay home

Toronto Sun ^ | 2006-02-25 | Michael Coren

[Clive]

The president of Harvard University, Lawrence Summers, announced this week that he will resign from his position at the end of this academic year. This became almost inevitable after he made a speech last winter claiming "innate differences" between the sexes may well explain why more men succeed in math and sciences than do women.

Not the most radical statement in history, perhaps, but bold enough to make him a hated figure on campuses and a punching bag for radical feminists.

I don't really know if there is a different aptitude for science between men and women and don't particularly care. I do know, however, that a woman's place is in the home.

There, it's been said. The unthinkable has been uttered. I can only wonder what the various highly intelligent women who edit my column are saying as they read this, but that's hardly the point. A woman's place is in the home.

No, not every woman and not every home. But one major reason society has lost much of its stability, grace and decorum is because so many women with children have been urged to flee the "incarceration" of the family for the "freedom" of the office.

Obviously there are many women who are not mothers to whom this does not apply and also many mothers who are obliged to find employment so as keep the family together. The objection here is to the knee-jerk assumption that somehow it is natural and admirable for women to be in the paid workforce.

There is no compelling case that the world would be a better place if more women were lawyers, bankers, soldiers or engineers. There are many such arguments, however, that the world would be a far better place if more women were mothers. Which means more than the mere act of procreation. It means devotion, sacrifice and time. Not quality time, just time. Lots of it. It means refusing to accept that self-esteem can only come through a boss, water cooler gossip and a generous pension scheme.

Yes, of course, fathers are a vital part of any family and most of the gun violence in our cities has far more to do with absence of dads than the presence of guns. But a mother is unique and irreplaceable.

Nobody is forcing women to become moms, but if they do they should take their new job seriously and not pretend it is some hobby or part-time occupation. Instead, we have created a situation where many women are embarrassed to admit that they are at home with their kids.

Recently, a Tory MP told me, in a spasm of political correctness, that Canada needed more women in Parliament. I asked him why, and he reacted as if he'd never been asked the question before. Which, of course, he probably hadn't.

I continued: "Could it be argued that raising a child to be a respectful, intelligent, moral and good person is just slightly more important than sitting in a building in Ottawa and obeying the orders of some second-rate prime ministerial assistant?"

He called me an idiot. Which may be true, but it does not obscure the point: We've declared war on motherhood in the name of a better, healthier society and declared war on family in the name of women's liberty.

So the president of Harvard feels he has to resign because he dared to raise an interesting question. We can only wonder what his mom would have said. Chances are that it would have been something wonderful. Mothers are like that.

[son of caesar]

Your posts on this thread are wonderful. They should be memorized by any young woman contemplating having a child.

[jocon307]

Good on what you say!

[CDHart]

When you're right, you're right. Putting mothers in the work force has destroyed families by taking responsibility away from the husband in favor of SuperMom. Where is any marriage going to go from there? No wonder our kids don't know where they belong or who they belong to.

Carolyn

[dakine]

then lets try to shame some of these excessively overpaid people to be less greedy.

You get to determine the definition of "greed"? How quaint.

[Caipirabob]

We've been blessed that my wife and I have been able to work out that she's spent most of our children's youngest years available to them at home. She worked in pre-care for a while and the children were in her class for about 3 years or so. She suffered from a spinal injury and we've kept her home since (due to the work of a brilliant surgeon she's recovered much of her previous mobility and is NOT living in constant pain.) At any rate, it suits us to have her available for the children while they grow. She's free to pursue a job or start a business and she's been working on the latter, but as I remember my youth, well, if it wasn't for my own mother being available I think those memories might not have been so wonderful. She carried the family, or so it seems in my eyes.

No small taks, IMHO. Never "slight" motherhood. It is a truly noble pursuit.

[apackof2]

I put equal priority to both community and family.

How can you give 100% to your family and 100% to the community?

Are you a superwoman?

[HungarianGypsy]

Why continue using the feminist term "stay at home mom" which degrades moms? Why not use the traditional term "Homemaker" which honors moms?
I just say I'm a mother. :-

[A knight without armor]

I agree. I love hearing the term homemaker. It is like an honor. I'm all for homemakers. My mother worked and got Friday and Saturday off. I still remember the light as air thrill I had all Friday at school and coming home on the bus knowing Mama would be there when I got home!

I read an article where someone interviewed kids and determined that children are happy their mothers work. I say that is bunk. I distinctly recall I loved my mother so much and if a teacher or someone asked me if I minded her working I would have said, "No." because I knew we needed the money and even very young I would not want to hurt my mother's feelings.

[Tired of Taxes]

Ping

[M0sby]

A funny from my inbox!

---

 

A man came home from work and found his three children     

outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food 

boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his

wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no
sign of the dog.
          

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over,

and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

 

In the front room the TV was blaring loudly a cartoon channel, and

the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. 

 

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was

spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was

spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small

pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his
wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

 

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way

out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy 

soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a

heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in 

her pajamas, reading a novel.
           

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

          

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
          

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you
come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?" 
         

"Yes?!" was his incredulous reply

      

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

---

[M0sby]

Moms...job description here:

http://www.glimpseofagrrl.com/archives/2005/02/mom_job_description.php

[Melusine]

I've never had a man sneer at me for being a stay-at-home Mom, but several women have. And most of the women didn't consider themselves feminists. They think that being a full-time mother is boring and that any woman that chooses to do so must be lazy and stupid. Even some women that consider themselves conservative, like my sister, think that there's something wrong with it.

[netmilsmom]

>>When you might have gone without luxuries like fabric softener and hair conditioner for years to make it all work.<<

AMEN!!!

Or when the hubby's family, who all make over 150,000 a year and send their kids to private schools to do it, look down on you because you drive 10 year old cars, homeschool and eat HotDogs.

I love my hubby, I love my kiddies and I love my life. Cash strapped or not.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

"But a mother is unique and irreplaceable."

Why, yes. Yes we are! So call your Mom today and tell her that you love her. :)

I, too, have had a number of "careers" and I wouldn't trade the time home with my boys for anything.

You CAN have it all...just not all at once.

[Earthdweller]

"Are you a superwoman?"

Rent yourself a copy of Fried Green Tomatoes.

[apackof2]

Rent yourself a copy of Fried Green Tomatoes.

Saw it, she wasn't a superwoman either

[LA Woman3]

A woman named Emily renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.



"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job, or are you just a .....?

"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a Mom."

"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation... 'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it, I do not know...The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and already have four credits, (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby), in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."

Motherhood.....What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door!

[metmom]

I love that because it's sooo true. Nobody realises what a mother AND wife, does for her family each day, and sometimes husbands are worse than the kids.

[formercalifornian]

That IS a great book. I wish all teen girls could read it before dating.

[formercalifornian]

I agree. Homemaker always sounds like I'm doing drywall or something. Usually, I'm just Mom. But if someone really wants to press the issue, I'm a full-time mom.