One Million Turn Out To See Rolling Stones Bash Bush In Rio

Rio de Janeiro—The Rolling Stones, a geriatric rock group, left a million fans satisfied and spent on Copacabana Beach after Saturday's free performance to bash President George W. Bush while playing some rock 'n roll.

Boats, including a huge ocean liner, crowded the shoreline, and helicopters and blimps circled overhead during the show that shut down the Copacabana Beach district. Large monitors flashed the peace symbol while others flashed, "War is not my voice. Don't invade the world, Bush!"

The mark fell far short of the record 3.5 million that packed the beach on New Year's Eve in 1994 to watch yet another aging rock 'n roll performer, Rod Stewart. About 400 city workers hauled 220 tons of trash left behind by the more than one million liberals who attended the concert, symbolizing Bush's legacy to the world and the United Nations.

The concert also brought a carnival spirit to the city a week ahead of the world-famous annual celebration. The Stones had been to Brazil three times, but Saturday was the first time the band played for free—as well as slam Bush in the country—where few liberals can afford tickets to see top international acts, because of poverty created by greedy, selfish Americans and President George W. Bush.

Civil defence officials reported that nearly 500 people received minor medical treatment during and after the show, reportedly because the concert reached a fevered pitch of animosity towards President Bush and Americans. The most serious cases were three stabbings during the height of the Bush bashing. None of the victims reportedly suffered life-threatening wounds, but stated that "they'd gladly be stabbed again for world peace."

The band opened with "Jumpin' Jack Flash" and played a set of mostly older hits, with a few songs from their newest album, A Bigger Bang. Some of the ad-libbed songs included, "Bush's Beast of Burden," referring to Afghanistan and Iraq; "Bush Can't Always Get What He Wants," referring to the lack of quelling the insurgency in Iraq; and "Under Bush's Thumb," referring to Bush's icy grip of tyranny on America, and the impending doom to the world community.

During the show, Mick Jagger, who has a Brazilian son, ad-libbed comments in Portuguese, delighting the crowd while launching a string of obscenities towards America. At one point, he wore a white shirt with the Brazilian flag and the words Brasil and America Sucks!

The Associated Press called the show, "A masterpiece of brilliance that only the Stones could deliver!"

The New York Times review declared, "Mick Jagger still has what it takes to turn on the heat. The Rolling Stones are still the greatest rock 'n roll band ever."

The Washington Post stated, "One of the best concerts of the year. It was a gas, gas, gas!"

Many of the liberal tourists had great luck after waiting in long lines and suffering the heat of Rio de Janeiro.

"I didn't expect I would even get close," said 24-year-old Beto Andrade, who came from the southern Parana state. "But one thing led to another and I ended up in the VIP area. This was the best bush bashing show ever. God, I love the Stones. Long live, Mick Jagger! Down with Bush!"

Wilson Teixeira, 26, from Sao Paulo, waited breathlessly for eight hours as he was pressed against a barrier to see the band from what was effectively the front row. "I saw them in 1995 and they were better this time, more energy. They completely destroyed Bush and I was orgasmic the entire time."

"I went to see the concert and was stabbed," said Lisania da Conceicao, a 22-year-old maid. "My friends came from Aruama—80 miles west of Rio—and were stabbed as well.

All in all it was a great time. I'd gladly take another stabbing if it means getting rid of George W. Bush and his tyranny!"

The huge concert turned out to be a free exercise in free speech. One million liberals gathered together in hopes of ending poverty, the tyranny of conservatism and President George W. Bush's reign of terror in America.

You can't always get what you want, but on this Saturday, liberals got all the Bush bashing they wanted for free.

Political Satirist Chris Davis is the author of Elective Decisions and In Defense of Liberty, two political thrillers from the Whiskey Creek Press.

Hope they played this oldie too:

Sympathy For The Devil

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith
And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around St. Petersberg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the Czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain

I rode a tank
Held a general's rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
What's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the Gods they made

I shouted out
"Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all
It was you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadors
Who get killed before they reached Bombay
(Bombay is the word I found listed on all of the lyrics pages I found, but the actual lyric on the soundtrack sounds as if it has more syllables than that, to me - DA)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um baby, get down

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!

Tell me baby, what's my name
Tell me honey, baby guess my name
Tell me baby, what's my name
I tell you one time, you're to blame

Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

What's my name
Tell me, baby, what's my name
Tell me, sweetie, what's my name

Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

Is it any wonder they've sung this song also?

I can't get no satisfaction,
I can't get no satisfaction.
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try.
I can't get no, I can't get no.

When I'm drivin' in my car
and that man comes on the radio
and he's tellin' me more and more
about some useless information
supposed to drive my imagination.
I can't get no, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, that's what I say.

I can't get no satisfaction,
I can't get no satisfaction.
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try.
I can't get no, I can't get no.

When I'm watchin' my TV
and a man comes on to tell me
how white my shirts can be.
Well he can't be a man 'cause he doesn't smoke
the same cigarrettes as me.
I can't get no, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, that's what I say.

I can't get no satisfaction,
I can't get no girl reaction.
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try.
I can't get no, I can't get no.

When I'm ridin' round the world
and I'm doin' this and I'm signing that
and I'm tryin' to make some girl
who tells me baby better come back later next week
'cause you see I'm on losing streak.
I can't get no, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, that's what I say.

I can't get no, I can't get no,
I can't get no satisfaction,
no satisfaction, no satisfaction, no satisfaction.

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