Posted on 01/08/2006 2:24:03 PM PST by Lorianne
It is 25 years since Terry Hekker hailed the housewife, now in a landmark decision the acclaimed author has rejected her past saying she was wrong
Terry Hekker wrote a book in 1980 that made her famous. Ever Since Adam & Eve was a passionate defence of her decision to eschew a career and spend her life as a wife and a mother.
Coming at the end of the Seventies, when feminism was enjoying a renaissance and the career woman was emerging from behind the cooker, Hekker became a celebrated poster child for more old-fashioned values. She wanted her job choice of 'homemaker' to be considered as valid as those of up-and-coming women bankers, bosses and company directors.
Today, Hekker told The Observer, she is planning a follow-up book. Its working, albeit jokey, title is bluntly honest: Disregard First Book. For her life did not turn out as she planned, and she now believes her decision to become a housewife and homemaker should serve as a warning for young American women. 'My anachronistic book was written while I was in a successful marriage that I expected would go on forever. Sadly, it now has little relevance for modern women, except perhaps as a cautionary tale,' Hekker wrote last week as she announced her U-turn.
In a display of spectacular bad taste, Hekker's husband presented her with divorce papers on their 40th wedding anniversary and left her for a younger woman. The divorce left her facing an uncertain financial future, bereft of income and - after spending her adult life bringing up five children - lacking skills to make her attractive in the job market. Despite that, the judge in her divorce case suggested that - at 67 - she go for job training.
(Excerpt) Read more at guardian.co.uk ...
Women are hard to understand. Especially the ones who burn their bras, then ask for support.
Your statistic refers to who initiates the divorce, not who is "at fault". In fact, under fault divorce, the person who initiated the divorce was not the one at fault.
I can see that it's real dangerous to break up with a writer or a lyricist ;~D
It didn't take very long for this to turn into a women bashing thread, did it?
Nope.
not me- I am going to marry a rich. male chauvanist......
If her husband did in fact leave her after 40 years of marriage for a younger women, I hope the guy croaks from the guilt and his new 'wife' screws him out of every last cent. It would be karmic justice, IMO.
Why doesnt she just stick around until the effect of the overdose of Viagra is over , then she can laugh at the young wife and the old fool who ran off on her.
"At 67 people are generally enjoying retirement."
I'm 68 and retirement isn't even a consideration.
She can enjoy a new career as a Walmart greeter.
Seriously, though, this sucks. FReepers actually expect a 67-year-old homemaker to go out and flip burgers after the hubster dumps her for a newer model? What about the 5 kids? Don't any of them work? Why can't they support their loving Mom?
Good grief. Judging from the reactions here, it seems women just can't win no matter what they do. No matter what happens, it's always the woman's fault.
This woman is 67 years old, her husband dumped her for a younger woman, and she has no recent jobs skills! That could happen to any stay-at-home wife. How many Freepers would want that to happen to themselves, to their daughters, sisters, mothers? Is it okay that her husband did that to her? What if your son-in-law did that to your daughter? Would it be okay? Did this woman deserve it somehow? Not one word of condemnation for the husband, but *she's* evil! If she'd had a career throughout her marriage, she'd be financially okay now, but then Freepers would condemn her as a Feminazi. Since she *didn't* have a career, that means she must have wanted to be kept as a "pet" her whole life!
So what the h### are women supposed to do? Obviously stay-at-home wives have a lot of nerve if they expect to be supported all their lives, according to Freepers. But on the other hand, if they have careers, they are evil Feminazis who are neglecting their children!
Come on! Women are people, too, and they get a lot of mixed messages. Even the most vicious woman-hater on FR (and unfortunately, there are a lot of them,) has female relatives. How do you want them to be treated? We're all trying to do the best we can in this life. Have some compassion, for crying out loud.
"2/3 of divorces are initiated by the wife"
In divorces that I know of on a personal level, the guy has been screwing around or ready to leave with his new "trophy", and has been "gallant" (in his mind anyway) to "let" the wife file the papers. Maybe that's where those figures are coming from that are so popularly thrown around here on FR.
As far as this article goes, I doubt that she is 'bereft of money' after 40 years of marriage. She not only gets half of the property, but a hefty alimony if she did not work for 40 years.
If her skunk ex left her for a younger woman, well, that implies that he must have some means......
There are many FReeper guys who lament that there aren't a legion of women out there begging to be housewives.
You can thank men like this woman's husband for that, instead of solely blaming feminism.
This is the same story that many generations of women have heard, which caused the sad lack of trust present in today's marriages.
And I'm no feminist.
Methinks Lorianne is in la-la-land.
she's writing a new book-- she's fine....it is just the idiot lawyer she had being insenisitive and she used that remark to "make her point."
I think what her husband did to her is rotten...sad she doesn't realize that it is the FEMINAZI's that make his behavior "okay"- especially when it comes to her not getting alimony and a piece of the retirement......
poor thing... she just proves that this feminazi frenzie is just all about bitter, angry women who hate men....then wonder why they can't keep men.....tell me Hillary and Pelosi are attractive and someone men would fall over to cuddle up with.....YIKES!
do I smell a 'I'm gonna write a sequel to my book' publicity stunt here....?
She did not 'burn her bra' and then ask for support. She had a lifetime contract with another person who now wants to renege.
So typical. Nothing new.
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