Posted on 12/14/2005 11:56:38 AM PST by TASMANIANRED
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
1. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one.
I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No one knows why.
2. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it.
Men love saying those two words, "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.
3. If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror.
Men love gifts for their cars.
Again, no one knows why.
4. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
5. You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.
If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
6. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
Real men drink whiskey or beer.
7. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant.
We do not stink - we are "earthy".
8. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea.
No one knows why.
9. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box.
It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over.
10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.
("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue.
Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell him the gas leaks.
"Oh the thrill!The challenge! Who wants hamburger?"
12. Tickets to a Denver Broncos, Colorado Rockies, Central Texas Stampede games are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why. 13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw.
If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
14. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder.
Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.
No one knows why.
15. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts.
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
No one knows why.
Cool!
Can I have one?
:)
LOL
The list is what the reader brings to it.
barrel, blade or breasts work for my man...I have the added catagory of musical/guitar 'stuff'. :)
Besides, with the bit adapter, and the assorted screwdriver bits, it's so heavy that it makes my pants ride down on the right side.
Mark
Heh-heh!!! That is my guy all over!
It's probably best if I don't mention firearms.
LOL! Didn't try it again, did he? Did he ever find out it was ammo? Not likely he'd want to kick anything of yours with that knowledge...
So many great ideas. This is going to be a very expensive Christmas.
ping
All Gifts.
They're all spread out in the tool box, glove box of the truck, hunting fanny pack, fishing vest, night stand, sock drawer, brief case, etc!
You forgot AMMO .308,30-06,.44magnum,.45LC,.45auto,45-70,.300Win.magnum,12gauge 00buckshot etc etc etc .
I have a small Leatherman tool I wear on a chain around my neck when fishing. It comes in handy to cut fishing line, quickly get rid of backlash. I love mine, would be lost without it.
Those are always good tools to have, and make good gifts.
;)
I have 2 and can never find either one of them.
Please Ladies: All men need for Christmas is a gift card from Home Depot or any sporting goods store. You can put it in a bigger box if it makes you feel better.
I don't do bald headed men.
Me too, that's why it was so funny.
Are we married and I don't know it?
LOL!
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