Posted on 04/13/2005 11:12:46 AM PDT by tuffydoodle
Mom not laughing at 911 dispatcher's 'joke'
By Leila Fadel
Star-Telegram Staff Writer
WATAUGA - Lori came home to find her daughters fighting that Monday evening. Her 12-year-old had kicked a hole in the door, and the girls were hitting and throwing things at each other. She feared one or both would be seriously hurt.
She called 911 and asked for help. Her 12-year-old daughter was out of control, she told the call-taker.
"OK. Do you want us to come over to shoot her?" the dispatcher asked, according to a recording released this week. For five seconds, the line went dead.
"Are you there?" the call-taker asked.
"Excuse me?" Lori said.
Mike Forbess, a dispatcher of five years for the Watauga Department of Public Safety, then told her he was joking and apologized. But Lori cannot get his comment out of her head.
"This is a slap in the face that my child was not important enough, my call for help, my 911 call was not important enough that he had to make a joke about it," Lori said Monday. She asked that her last name not be used to avoid identifying her daughters, one of whom has emotional problems.
Forbess immediately told his supervisor about the call. He received a letter of reprimand two days later. Forbess received a second letter of reprimand from Chief David Van Laar on Monday, the same day the Star-Telegram obtained a copy of the 911 call recording, and of Forbess' disciplinary records.
The mother, however, said her faith in the 911 system remains shaken. She said she plans to file a formal complaint.
"I do not have words to tell you how shocked I am that someone is allowed to do this," she said. "You don't do people like this, and then get a slap on the wrist."
In his letter to Forbess, Van Laar wrote: "This type of response cannot be tolerated, and this letter shall serve as notice that any future unprofessional responses while answering the 911 line will be cause for termination."
But the reprimand is not enough, the mother said.
The next time she has an emergency, she said, she won't feel safe calling 911.
"This man does need to be disciplined," Lori said. "How can a person in this line of work be so unfeeling that he asked a person who needed help, 'Would you like us to come over and shoot your child?'
"That's an interoffice disciplinary action," she said of the reprimands. "That doesn't do anything.
Van Laar made no excuses for the dispatcher.
"The reason I didn't take tougher action is, he immediately owned up to his supervisor and said he made a mistake," Van Laar said. "He's a good employee. He just made a severe mistake which is inexcusable. ... This is not something you should hear on the other end of a 911 call."
In an interview Monday, Forbess said he is sorry for his comment to the woman. In five years with the department, the dispatcher has never been disciplined for his handling of 911 calls.
Forbess has received two commendations from community members for his work. He was disciplined once with a written warning for working an unauthorized shift for a co-worker.
"I am so sorry for what I said to that lady, and I can never make it up to her," Forbess said. "I'm ashamed of my actions, what I said and what I did. I would take it back if I could, but I can't. I'm just very sorry that I did it. It was a poor choice of things to say."
Forbess said that he sometimes tells jokes or changes his tone of voice to ease the stress of a caller. In this case, he said, his words made the situation worse.
"I admit what I did. It was stupid, it was inexcusable and I'm sorry," Forbess said. "I know it's not enough for her or for the papers or for the rest of the world. I've taken the punishment that they gave."
Bet she doesn't believe in spanking.
I'm so sorry to hear about all you've been through. I think I understand the origin of your screen name now :-)
As problematic as CPS agencies can be, we do need some sort of system in this country whereby parents can hand over a child they simply can't control into state custody, and let the state pay for institutionalizing them. And we need to bring back large size institutions with professional staffs. Sure, bad things happen in those places, but dumping problem kids in random foster homes, and in small group homes scattered all over the place so they're impossible to monitor, is certainly worse.
I hope your daughter manages to achieve some semblance of normal life eventually. Meth addiction by itself is extermely hard to kick, and she obviously had a whole lot of very serious problems before that. The fact that she now readily acknowledges that the problem is with her, is a very big positive step -- she's certainly come a long way from slamming mom against the refrigerator and knocking her out.
"If I were the call taker, I would of said same thing. I get strange calls at work, and I am not a 911 dispatcher."
Many, many moons ago, I was a directory assistance operator for the then Southwestern Bell Telephone Company. When I listened to the actual call it brought back some seriously bad memories. You could try your heart out for people but there are some that will still start screaming, "what is your name!!!"
Don't even get me started on the prank callers. (this was before there was a charge for directory assistance)
Sorry to hear about the incredibly tough time you've had with your daughter. It's admirable that you've hung in there for as long as you have--I know many parents who have quit on their kids over far, far less. I hope your family can one day experience the peace that many others take for granted.
Why was she calling 911 cause her daughters were fighting? Sounds like she have used some 'applied psychology', like up against both the girls' heads to get their attention! THEN she could deal with them. If the police had come, do you think she would have let them take the girls away? No, at that point, it would have been all three of them against the officer.
Both valuable lessons!
To quote Bill Murray in "What About Bob" -
"That was not smart.. That was not... smart.."
I feel bad for the guy. I've said incredibly stupid things before, all for the cause of trying to be funny. Obviously, if you're a 911 operator, you want to keep the jokes under control...LOL.. It was inappropriate, but he's contrite and I hope he doesn't get fired.
There's not a person on the planet who hasn't said something that they later regret. The poor guy immediately realized what he'd done, apologized profusely, groveled way more than necessary but it wasn't good enough for that hateful biddy. As another poster stated, the woman's anger is misplaced, she should be mad at her daughters, not the dispatcher. I guarantee those kids have caused her many, many more problems than the dispatcher did.
One break coming up...
http://www.dfw.com/multimedia/dfw/news/FWslideshows/911/shoot.html
This is the link with the audio of the 911 call. I'd had it linked in another thread about the same incident, and it got pulled.
It takes a village and a 911 operator to raise a village idiot and her mother s/Hildabeast!!
Recommended wording for the 911 reply: "Ok...if you don't want us to shoot her, do you want us to arrest you for poor parenting? I'm running out of options here..."
That's a better response!! LOLOLOL
Seriously, with all the kids' problems I've seen through the years, that is the cause. I've seen kids taken away by the police for being totally out of control at home-----and knowing the parents, it's obvious why the kid behaved that way.
I heard the replay on Fox & Friends. Although his comments were wrong. I was astounded at how quickly she turned her anger on him when she should have been ticked off at her daughter. She should have called the cops not 911.
My guess is that being a 911 operator is far from "boring".
I think 911 operators deal with life-or-death situations.
I know on those few occassions when I have had to call 911, it has been because someone was having what I thought was a "medical emergency". (One time, for instance, was when a diabetic associate at work was acting as though he either had too much or too little sugar in his system).
911 operators, I think, must first calm the callers down (I know I was agitated when I called 911, and the first thing the operators have always done is to tell me to calm down). Then they must get enough information to know what to do.
Being a 911 operator is, I would guess, a high-stress occupation.
It wasn't too long ago that there was a news story about a 911 operator who spoke to a little girl who had just been awakened by gunshots and had seen her dead parents -- with blood coming from her dad's mouth. The way the 911 operator handled that called and calmed that little girl convinced me that 911 operators do not have boring jobs.
As someone else on this thread said, what DID she want the cops to do? Haul the girls into juvie hall? Then she'd be paying court costs, lawyers fees, time out of work to fix the problem, etc. After a few thousand dollars to lawyers, she may quickly learn how to be a parent.
PS: "What About Bob" is one of my all time favorites.
How so?
If anything, I think management may have been too severe in giving this guy a written letter of reprimand.
I'm a management guy with experience in the field of labor and employee relations and I would have recommended an oral admonition.
Did you listen to the actual call of the mom? She doesn't sound very serious, therefore the operator didn't really take her seriously. I have also used 911, one time, because my lawnmower caught on fire and got the grass burning, too. The fire department was at my home in less than 5 minutes and put the fire out, which had spread very quickly. (I live on acreage) My point is, the operator knew I wasn't kidding since I was darn near panicking and acted accordingly. If I was halfway giggling during the call, I wouldn't expect her to take me too seriously.
And I agree with everything you have said.
My post was more directed at another poster's comment that the job of a 911 operator "must be boring".
I was trying to make the point that the jobs of ebing a 911 operator is not boring at all.
And just to be clear about it -- I think the 911 operator in this situation handled the situation well. He did not respond in anger to the woman's challenges to him. He sounded to me as though, after he first made the joke, all of the responses he gave to the woman he gave with the utmost of professionalism and respect.
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