Kids are Overrated

No Marriage.com ^ | 11/05/04 | Embittered Young Guy

[IAMNO1]

"Frankly, I think society is lucky this guy didn't have any kids."

Perhaps true, but it's not him who concerns me. Rather it's all those who never should have had kids, yet do.

Successful parenting takes a special type of person who is willing to give years of their life unselfishly. I see far too many kids getting the short end of the stick.

[MagnumRancid]

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Why is this guy an asshole? For telling the truth?
>>
No, he is an asshole for how he goes about it. According to him most people have children because they are stupid, ignorant, or unrealistic.

[freedumb2003]

I think alot of people feel this way and I do think that some people who have children shouldn't have children and that many have children for the absolute wrong reasons.

Exactly! Whatever it is that makes someone say "I want to have n kids," I don't have it (nor does my wife). My wife is from Mexico and we got it pretty bad the first few years we were married. But we were much too old (in our late 30s) and eventually stopped getting bugged.

When you are child-free it is amazing how many laws and attitudes are setup to punish you. There is a big bias but I put up with it.

I have also seen a LOT of people who shouldnot have kids but have them anyway because they are too stupid not to. Those situations are just sad and tragic.

[dmz]

If I have to go to a conference out of town for a week, the first couple of days are great. Eat where and when I want. No responsibility.

After 3 days of that, all I want to do is go home and be with my wife and kids.

A break is nice, but I wouldn't be much without them (well except maybe a problem drinker

[xJones]

If he and others think that way, then it's the best possible choice for them. Some of us love having kids, we get great joy from raising them, but some people simply don't. If you don't want them, use precaution and avoid the whole situation.

So why isn't that obvious?

[Rippin]

Maybe his Mom wishes she had been blessed with a different kid?

[Dr. Scarpetta]

The best part about having kids is the grandbabies....

I love having two daughters who both got married this year. Their husbands are even Republicans!

[Hildy]

Ok, so it wasn't what he said that bothered you, it was how he said it, right?

[luckystarmom]

I only wanted two kids. The good Lord knew better and gave me twin girls after my son was born. God knew better than me what was good for my family. We all love our 3 kid family.

[dansangel]

Frankly, I think society is lucky this guy didn't have any kids.

Amen.

[freedumb2003]

doesn't expect my kids or my kid's money to support him via social programs when he gets old.

That's not quite fair. The child-free pay for all kinds of things that they don't use nor will ever use -- schools, playgrounds, lunch programs, etc. etc. etc. Also, we don't get any tax breaks -- my marginal tax rate when you add it all up is nearly 45% I just got a small bonus and I saw about 1/2 of it.

I'll trade you all the money I spend on your kids now for the SSI I might get later.

[xJones]

I love having two daughters who both got married this year. Their husbands are even Republicans

If they live nearby, God save the future grandkids. You'll spoil them rotten.:)

[Fierce Allegiance]

Ping!

I recall quite a while back you discussing that you had no offspring, but were close to a friends kids. Am I right?

[baseballfanjm]

I don't think you're selfish. I don't think most people would. It's this guy's attitude that those who have kids are delusional, that he thinks he's living the high life and that he thinks that others should follow his example is what rubs people the wrong way. No one was attacking you.

[elizabetty]

I wonder if he is happy his Parents did not hold this viewpoint?

[MitchellC]

This reminds me of a book I saw at the mall a while back. I can't recall the name of it, but it was written by a couple of feminists who were so surprised to learn that motherhood can be tough that they thought they ought to write a book about it in order to get the word out.

[dmz]

LOL.

When my youngest (now 12) was 2 1/2, my wife and I took a weeks vacation without the kids, 2nd honeymoon, sorta kinda. Grandma stayed with them.

She must have sensed we were leaving about 2 weeks before we were due to go and simply would not sleep. I stayed up with her in my arms night after night trying to get her comfortable enough to sleep. I went to work everyday more bleary eyed than I'd ever done as a college student.

This I learned, Barnie at 330am is a hallucinogen.

[TXBubba]

Ok, so it wasn't what he said that bothered you, it was how he said it, right?

Can't speak for the other poster but my take is this. Not everyone wants kids (or can have them) and that is fine. I have an uncle that never married and never had kids (and isn't gay!). No problem. But neither does he go around writing articles about people who do and how bad it must be. I discovered after getting married that I knew nothing about marriage before I got married. I discovered after having kids that I knew nothing about raising kids before having them.

[Modernman]

For a parent to state that they wished they never had children - what message does that send to their children?

I don't think this guy is a parent. He is saying that he has chosen not to get married or have kids, as is his right. Why does that make him an ass?

[Dr. Scarpetta]

If they live nearby, God save the future grandkids. You'll spoil them rotten.:)

Yes, I will!!