Posted on 12/11/2003 7:55:35 AM PST by Mr. Silverback
A pair of magazine articles recently revealed some intriguing facts about marriage and singleness in America. U.S. NEWS AND WORLD REPORT notes that Americans are getting married later in life. And, according to reporter Michelle Conlin in BUSINESS WEEK, "The U.S. Census Bureau's newest numbers show that married-couple households . . . have slipped from nearly 80 percent in the 1950s to just 50.7 percent [of the population] today. That means that the U.S.'s 86 million single adults could soon define the new majority . . . What many once thought of as the fringe is becoming the new normal."
As a result, the way we view many things -- singleness, marriage, friendships, and institutions -- is changing dramatically. For instance, U.S. NEWS AND WORLD REPORT's article focused on the so-called "Tribal Culture," in which single friends form highly organized groups that serve as a kind of substitute family. One such group, in Denver, has 110 members. But that number pales in comparison to some of the groups that are forming online at websites like Friendster.com where literally thousands of people meet to form social networks.
The existence of these "tribes" and these statistics tell us something about ourselves, the way we're wired. We are social beings: We need family and community -- even in a culture that prizes autonomy above all things. But BUSINESS WEEK's reporter sees a quite different meaning in the trend she calls "the new normal." Conlin argues that benefits like insurance and Social Security, which have always gone to married couples, should also be extended to singles, cohabiting couples, and homosexuals living together. She writes, "Just because matrimony is good for society doesn't mean that outmoded social benefits are."
Now, first let me say that it's important for Christians, when examining this trend, to avoid pointing fingers or acting as if singles are somehow inferior to married people. Surrounded by a culture fearful of commitment and more interested in "hooking up" than dating, even those who are interested in getting married often have a hard time finding anyone who shares their interest. Also, as Paul teaches in the New Testament, not everyone is called to be married.
However, there's a genuine cause for concern when people cite widespread singleness as an excuse to promote policies that denigrate traditional families. The benefits we give to two-parent families should have nothing to do with how many families there are. It's a recognition of the great importance of a stable family structure to our society, in all kinds of areas -- the strength of the workforce, the emotional health of kids, and even the physical health of adults. These benefits are one way that we encourage standards that reflect the way we were designed to live -- standards like lifelong faithfulness to one person and a committed mother and father for every child. The more we insist on ignoring these standards, the weaker our culture becomes.
Marriage already has enough strikes against it in a culture that largely considers it just one more "lifestyle choice." We don't need to discourage it even more. "The new normal" so-called may change a lot of things, but it shouldn't change the way we look at a God-ordained, time-tested institution. Tribes may have their place in the chaos of postmodern culture, but they are no substitute for marriage and the family.
Of course there wasn't. Who in their right mind would oppose punishing louts and wife beaters? The problem is, 95% of the general public, men in particular, never thought these laws would be applied to anyone other than louts and wife beaters, let alone themselves.
Don't go out to dinner, either? Don't go to cocktail parties? No dancing at the Supper Club? No evenings at the theater? Cast parties? The Met?
Say goodbye, he's doing yardwork - garagework, and hopefully you're doing housework.
I sincerely hope you meet a man who will continue to bring you flowers after you're married, continue to look at you with loving eyes as though you are a miracle, someone who continues to find inventive ways to fill your life with happiness and to share his. And that you'll appreciate his taking time out from cleaning the gutters.
Maybe you're not like most women. And there are many naive men in this world. Who knows? I wish you luck.
So it's always the woman's fault when she get's pregnant? Last I looked it took two to make a baby.
I did and I do, mostly because I'm up there helping him clean the gutters.
And on that note I am going to go finish painting the windows in the family room so we can put up ights this evening.
Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
SHAFT!
Ya damn right!
Who is the man that would risk his neck
For his brother man?
SHAFT!
Can you dig it?
Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about?
SHAFT!
Right On!
They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!
He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
JOHN SHAFT!
LOL Actually, if I were a man, I'd remind you of the number of young honeys on the arms of old coots.
My comment was facetious. I think marriage is wonderful. But unfortunately, our society is tending toward hedonism, and marriage and hedoism don't go together.
Ohhh, we're out here, there are a few of us left. I just continue to work hard and believe in my gut, eventually God will (simply put, he'll have to) put someone in my path who thinks/acts/believes 'certainly in the same ballpark' as I do, because I don't have the time---rather, I don't intentionally make/take the time to go and look anymore. I do live vicariously through my 4 nieces and nephews though, who absolutely love their uncle, graciously accept everything I give them/share with them, and don't have 'an angle', as many single females here in L.A. do. (God are you listening? There's still hope, right? LOLOLOLOL)
Intellectual honesty here, please. We both know that women have lied and deceived men to get pregnant for purely selfish reasons. A woman can intentionally flush her pills in the toilet, yet deceive her husband into believing that she is taking them. How many women do you know who claim to have gotten pregnant while on the pill? Funny, isn't it that the pill worked for years and years without a problem. But suddenly she wants a baby, and the husband says "we need to wait a year" and whammo ... the pill 'suddenly' quit working.
Also, the way the present laws stand, a wife man get pregnant by any male, and legally the husband is obligated to pay child support for the child. Hardly fair by any stretch of the imagaination. But, after all the though process is 'Whatever is best for the child'.
I wonder what anguish that would arise if wives found themselves getting childsupport demands made against them if their husband went around impregnating their mistresses. Naturally, the childsupport payments would stick to the wife after the divorce. Fair is fair, wouldn't you say?
Are you sure? 'Cause I'm talking about the sweet, non-sluttily dressed ones here that, whether the by Jewish princesses from the Bronx who attend Hillel, or devout RCs, or Congregational Church Choiristresses, etc. And they do morph - into charging Enesco-esque Rhinosceri, more the better to stomp the skittering Kafka bug into which they've been trying to turn you (the man).
I'm so very sorry you have been shat upon and it has made you bitter,
Don't be. And don't assume that these are tears of sadness rather than laughter.
but you are wrong and mysoginistic in your opinion of most women.
You know what? It was over the top of me to call most women pigs. I love most women. Wouldn't marry one for all the money in the world, though.
You're a decent human being. Rare.
Nope. I have pretty simple tastes. I do play music a couple nights a week, but I'd be willing to give that up for kids, if I had them.
Did go to the Met once, during a two day trip to NYC. With my brother, if you really wanna know.
And there are many naive men in this world. Who knows? I wish you luck.
Naive...had to end with another slam, didn't you?
I hope you find someone someday who'll change your point of view.
Because, lacking self control, he can't last more than a minute. No que lastima! there.
I sure hope so. But some of the comments made by men on this thread validate the reason I'm still single.
If I get married, I want it to be for the long haul. I want to be equally yoked as a Christian and I want a "manly-man," not one of those whiny metrosexuals.
So many single men in my age group just act like overgrown teenagers.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.