Vanity:MY DAD WAS PUT IN THE HOME TODAY. ALZHIEMERS DISEASE. EARLIER THAN ANTICIPATED

self ^ | 10/19/01 | RaceBannon

[RaceBannon]

Many of us ask for prayer at different times. I admit, I havent always bumped these threads, nor have I always read those who bumped them to me. For that I am sorry. Tonight I must ask for prayer for my family and especially my Mom. My Dad was put in the home today for his Alzhiemers disease.

[WarrenC]

My sympathy and prayers to you and your family. I just lost my mother in September. She had suffered for 10 years from Alzheimers. She was in pretty bad shape at the end, but it still hurts to know she's gone. I know how heart breaking it is to see a beloved parent decline that way. In the earlier stages of mom's illness, I was horrified by what she had lost. I soon learned to appreciate the little blessings God granted. I'm sure by now you have too. It's amazing how much happiness can come from such imperfect expressions of love as her illness permitted. God's richest blessings to you and your family.

[Mugwumps]

God bless you and keep you. My prayers are with you and your Mom and family, and for peace and comfort for your Dad, too.

[DoughtyOne]

For heaven's sake, this isn't a vanity. We're friends here. You reached out to your freinds. I'd forever be kicking your butt if you didn't.

[KC Burke]

Having had a dear mother-in-law who suffered from a late onset variety of this condition, I know how you feel. Keep in mind that while your loved one's capacity is so totally diminshed in so many ways, you can still fully express love. That expression, with fear cast aside for God to carry, will carry you through.

[ClancyJ]

My prayers are with you and your dad and family. So sorry. It will work out. It will take him a while to get adjusted but then he will do well. Maybe it would help to tell him this is temporary while they try some new medicines.

[StoneColdGOP]

I am truly sorry. I know what it means to have to contend with that affliction.

[Freee-dame]

My prayers are with you and your family.

[caddie]

Race, God Bless you and your mom. I know how you feel.

What a trooper she was to care for him at home as long as she did. And you too. You should be proud of this fact.

Your dad still loves you, and even though his mind is feeble, he is still your dad, and you will still see him and hold him. I bet he still know's it's you and your mom.

Don't be despondent, it really will be OK, just takes a bit of time, but not forever.

Alzheimer's is very tough on you as a son or a wife (or any relative). The strain is great, but a lot of it is fear of the unknown.

But your dad knows you love him, and you will still be able to care for him, with the help of the nurses in the home.

But it really becomes safer, in my opinion, for him to be in a nursing home, rather than in your home.

And the people, care, circumstances, and environment in the nursing home are going to be better than you think.

I am pleasantly surprised by the compassion and dedication of the nurses, caretakers, therapists, internists, etc., who care for patients here in town. I bet you will be pleasantly surprised.

Get some sleep and tell your mom to too.

I will pray for you both, and your dad.

Regards, caddie

[RaceBannon]

My Dad's father went fast, heart attack, so did his Mom. My Mom's Mom went fast. My Mom's Dad was put in the retirement home in 1965, the youngest man there at age 65. He was there till it closed in 94 at age 94. He died in a nursing home 2 years later or so at age 96. No alzhiemers, just old age.

We saw my Dad slip for the last 20 years, real slow, I mean, real slow. The last month was bad, it was visible, no ability to cooperate, he just seemed to be in the ozone sometimes. At least he was never violent, he is a happy alzhiemers patient for my Mom.

[Senator Pardek]

Dude, I'm sorry for sounding so depressing in my previous reply.

It just pulled up a lot of memories for me. As time passes, you will smile (as I am), because the positive memories of your pop when you were a kid will linger on.

[bluesagewoman]

Oh God, I told my sister she was on a volunteer job to make the Vet's lives happier when I took her to tour the "home." She was thrilled to give the Vets flowers and a little song. Now, that is all I can give her. Like I said, AD really,r really sucks.

[RaceBannon]

It just hurts a lot, I am still in tears, that's all.

Thanks for any help!

[EaglesUpForever]

My prayers go out to you and your mom.

[RaceBannon]

This is not depressing to me at all, it is what I already experience, almost. He is not far from this at all, he does still know my name, but he didnt pronounce it right today, but he knew me still. I guess that matters most, that he still knows me.

[Cold Heat]

Prayers have been made. Thanks for the post.

[kayak]

May there be only one set of footprints in the sands of your life and your mother's during the days ahead. May God bless all of you as you go through this difficult time.

[Fred Mertz]

Tell us about your Dad. He raised a fine son.

[austinTparty]

Praying for strength for you, your mother and your sisters.

[homeschool mama]

Prayers heavenward for your family, RaceBannon. What a loving tribute your mother has offered her dear husband...the fact she cared for him during such a difficult time speaks volumes. How many of us can be truly selfless. A beautiful example.

I pray the loneliness she experiences would be filled with God's presence in her life. I pray He would meet her every need in His time and way...and that she could fully trust Him.

We're leaving tomorrow (Saturday) for Florida to visit my father and his sweet wife. She has Alzheimers and is failing fast these days. My father is caring for her w/o help so we're looking forward to visiting with both of them and giving my father a bit of a break.

Blessings to you. <>< HM

[flaglady47]

Went through this 3 years ago when we put my mom (yes Altzheimers) in a home. The good news is that she adjusted well over time, and it becomes home to them. Once the routine settles in, it is actually easier on them as their basic needs, especially the physical ones that they can no longer accomplish are taken care of. Plus, if various meds are needed (my mom is on quite a few) there is professional nursing there to take care of this. There comes a point where you just can't do it all. After the initial guilt of having to place your loved one in a home subsides, then the realization that it was necessary kicks in, and nothing stops you from visiting your dad often and giving him family continuity that he is loved and not forgotten. Take him out for rides (my mom is 89, and I take her out frequently). Take him to family gatherings and parties. Take him on outings like picnics in the summer, over to your house for coffee/tea and/or cake/cookies, to get him out of the home, and back into a family setting periodically. Each time you go to visit, take him a little treat, some favorite thing he likes to eat or drink. I bring my mom chocolate milkshakes, and bakery goods. However, you will most likely be surprised as he settles in at the home, how he will begin to feel safe and secure there, and it too becomes a home. My sympathy for your feelings at this moment; been there, done that. But hang in there. It will all work out, you will see.