Catholics Find Common Ground With Protestants In Ignoring What The Pope Says Most Of The Time

The Babylon Bee ^ | April 10, 2026

[metmom]

In a historic ecumenical breakthrough, devout Roman Catholics finally found common ground with Protestants in ignoring what the pope says most of the time.

The reconciliation between the two long-opposed factions came right after Pope Leo XIV said something that both sides decided to ignore. The key moment happened when conservative, traditional Roman Catholic believers realized that if the pontiff did not speak "ex cathedra," then they were not really obligated to agree with or follow whatever thing he just said.

"I would always groan whenever I saw him talking on television about war or immigration or climate change," said Maria Ferrari. "I would have to defend him all the time, saying ‘he's being mistranslated' or 'he's being taken out of context,' but then I realized that, no, he is just saying things that are really wrong."

"What a relief that I can just ignore whatever he's saying most of the time, just like all my Protestant friends."

Protestant Daniel Knox agreed, saying, "Yeah, I almost never listen to what that guy has to say. I have 99 problems, but a pope telling me what to do isn't one of them."

At publishing time, representatives from the Eastern and Oriental Orthodox churches were also chiming in to say that they, too, ignore what the pope says most of the time.

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TOPICS: Catholic; General Discusssion; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; pope; satire

[metmom]

Check the source before commenting.

[left that other site]

The Bee Stings Again!

[Captain Walker]

Check the source before commenting.

I remember when the Bee used to do satire.

[Biblebelter]

As they say, is the pope irrelevant?

To answer that question with a question, does a bear defecate in the woods?

[Az Joe]

I want another John Paul II!

[dfwgator]

I want another Torquemada.

(Bet you weren’t expecting that!)

[Diana in Wisconsin]

I had high hopes for Pope Leo...and I’m not even Catholic!

The Bee nails it once again.

[central_va]

Is the bear catholic ?

[Bob434]

FINALLY Soemthign we can all get behind, lol

[daniel1212]

Leo seems less liberal than:

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BY3tmPACAAEjr1C?format=jpg&name=360x360)

At Time.com, Elizabeth Dias sought to temper the anti-fracking excitement, suggesting that Francis didn't come out against fracking, but against poverty, - https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/earthbeat/eco-catholic/t-shirt-said-no-fracking-did-francis

[Big Red Badger]

Those ‘99 problems’ Must be a Hat Tip to
Martin Luther ! For a Fact the List has grown substantially.
I just can’t wait for Barry and Axelrod to go Crusin’ in the “Pope Mobile “!
Finally the Universalist will have
Their own ‘holy trinity’.

[JZelle]

I’d rather hear from Uncle Leo. HELLO!!

[bunkerhill7]

Panchanamapapa boy

[vladimir998]

Well, St. Peter of Verona might be better. And Bernard Gui might be good too. It’s a shame his manual is so expensive
https://www.amazon.com/Inquisitors-Guide-Medieval-Manual-Heretics/dp/1905043090

[roving]

The pope’s god is the earth’s climate.

[roving]

All popes go to hell.

[Big Red Badger]

‘Inquisitors Guide’ looks Great
Next to My;
“Foxes Book of Martyrs” !
.
Cheers

[vladimir998]

You mix historical and semi-fictional works?

[Opinionated Blowhard]

The best satire is based in truth.

[Big Red Badger]

Tell me the “Magic Cookie” isn’t,
Or
The “Coredemptrix” isn’t Blasphemy.
.
Martin Luther had 95 legitimate
Heresies and I just ask for
Proof of Two.
.
We’ve come A Long Way in Proving the Holy Roman Catholic Church is a Fraud Top to Bottom.