Posted on 11/22/2013 6:01:31 AM PST by Alex Murphy
MINOT, N.D. — Jack Crocker, a beer-loving machinist and “part-time Christian,” finally agreed to read Proverbs with wife Reanna. He’s glad he did.
“I’m a Proverbs 31 husband all right,” says Jack, then quotes Proverbs 31:6-7: “Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.”
“That’s my permission to crack open a cold one,” Jack says, having a Coors after dinner.
But Reanna, a new church member, is pushing Jack hard to stop drinking. She insists he is neither “perishing” nor “in anguish.” But Jack researched the Bible on the Internet and found 2 Corinthians 4:16 and 5:2 which say, “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day,” and “Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling.”
“Everyone is perishing and in anguish,” Jack says. “Until we’re delivered from these bodies, the Bible says to drink up.”
As part of the escalating family tension he created a “Proverbs 31″ category on their weekly budget and listed “beer” under it. He also wants to start a Proverbs 31 Men’s Group with his buddies.
“We’re trying to find where the Bible talks about buffalo wings,” he says.
http://catholicgentleman.net/2013/10/29/the-official-catholic-beer-blessing/
One of the great things about being Catholic is that the Church has quite literally thought of everything at some point or another. Some inventive cleric even thought to include a beer blessing in the Rituale Romanum (my parish also has an annual wine blessing). Creation is good. Beer is good. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
V. Our help is in the name of the Lord.
R. Who made heaven and earth.
V. The Lord be with you.
R. And with thy spirit.
Let us pray.
Bless, + O Lord, this creature beer, which thou hast deigned to produce from the fat of grain: that it may be a salutary remedy to the human race, and grant through the invocation of thy holy name; that, whoever shall drink it, may gain health in body and peace in soul. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
“those who are perishing” refers to the unsaved going to hell.
I guess that’s who Jack wants to be numbered with.
Galations 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
From Hebrew Scriptures:
6
Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto the bitter in soul;
7
Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
Things that make you go hmmmmm.
Ever closer to a state of grace I grow...
What?
It's satire?
Never mind then. Carry on.
1 Timothy 5:23
Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.
Although I originally heard this about Anglicans, I think it might pertain to others. “Whenever 4 are gathered, you’ll also find a fifth.”
Deuteronomy 14:26
and spend the money for whatever you desire—oxen or sheep or wine or strong drink, whatever your appetite craves. And you shall eat there before the Lord your God and rejoice, you and your household.
Reanna, Please stop pushing and start praying. And next week start going to Al-Anon.
They will help you in what you need to do here.
Another thing — take control of the money and do NOT buy his beer for him.
If my boyfriend tried to force me to give up wine I'd say I'd be in anguish. Same if I tried to force him to give up his beer.
Here I thought this was for real, and now I see the satire.
"I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there".
Still trying to figure out what having a Coors has to do with drinking beer. At least it wasn't Coors Light.
http://catholicgentleman.net/2013/09/05/international-buy-a-priest-a-beer-day/
Did you know that this coming Monday, September 9, is International Buy a Priest a Beer Day? On this festive day, faithful Catholics all over the world take their priests out for a beer and get to know them better. It’s a beautiful Catholic tradition that goes back to the time of St. Hopswald of Aleyard, the first man to take his priest out for a beer.
Okay, if you’re getting suspicious by now, there’s a good reason. Buy a Priest a Beer Day is not a real holiday. But I would argue that it should be!
Believe it or not, priests are real people, and they enjoy socializing over good food and drink as much as anyone. They also have a thankless and difficult job, a job that we couldn’t get to heaven without. Priests are the lifeblood of the Church, and they deserve some appreciation.
So with that in mind, I would challenge you to do something concrete to show appreciation to your priest in the month ahead. Yes, it could be taking him out for a beer, or it could be inviting him over to share dinner with your family. Be creative if you want, but give back to your priest somehow, and let him know that his ministry is making a difference.
Because of Proverbs 23:31-35 I only drink white wine.
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