We need more FR Poet Laureates [Post an original poem and win a bun.]

September 18, 2003 | Me

[paulklenk]

Freepers,

Poetry is the soul of our hearts. We can converse, pontificate, and rally til the cows come home, but we really show our humanity, wit and truest selves in our poetry.

Doug From Upland is a fine example of such an artist. In his poems, we feel -- but we not only feel, we feel each other.

Let's show our true colors and show the world the Conservatives are not just lovers of freedom -- we're lovers of words, heart and feelings as well.

Post your original poem here. It need not rhyme. If you see a poem you like, vote for it by bumping it to the top. If you think you can do better, post a poem of your own.

Let's get the ball rolling with a poem of the silly variety -- remember, we don't have to be serious ALL the time. Here goes:

Plastic pie, plastic pie,
Shot a spastic in the eye.
Jesus heal'd that spastic's eye!
Pretty, pretty plastic pie!

Pretty, pretty plastic pie,
Much more fun than just plain pie!
Me oh my, oh why can't I
Have a pretty piece of pie?

[Fawnn]

It was written when I was in school, so it included:

Tests for sale or rent
Quizzes cheaper, 50 cents
No math or science, you see
Just got old hist-or-eeeee

-and-

My face is pale green
Reflections off the TV screen

(B&W TV was never truly B&W, you understand.)

I tried to recall more, but risked straining my brain. ;)

[Fawnn]

All his enemies worked toward his fall
But the Gipper stood up to them all
Freedom's flags were unfurled
His six words changed the world
"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall"

Worth repeating! Thank you!

[Cyber Ninja]

I heard that if you take the first letter in the first word of each paragraph in Hillary’s book starting after the third lion’s roar that you get some truth.

My husband was certainly no mensch.
Had a tryst with a young comely wench.
He finally came clean.
To me; the true Queen.
And it really made my big buttocks clench.

Ghostwriter back-masking?

[carlo3b]

California, Mommas and dem Pappas Worryin about the polls

The pundits say you can't, I know that isn't true
poke out dem little chads, that's all you have to do!

It be just another hole that you have to poke tings through
I've seen those toddeling tots that sure do look  like you

I know that you can do it, you've done it many time before
just look at all those little tikes runn'n and crawl'n on the floor

Yo California, Pappa, it can't be worrin you
poke out the little chad, thats all you have to do

Just think of it as foreplay, and grab it by the tail
and poke those little chads you know jus like those bros in jail

Thats it!... thanks ... *<]:oP~
 
 

[paulklenk]

This thread is taking on a life of its own!

Plastic pie!

[Fawnn]

LOL!!!

[Cyber Ninja]

This thread is taking on a life of its own!

This is an example of not being able to put the worms back in the can.

CB^))

[From The Deer Stand]

Clark and Kerry and Edwards and Dean,
The strangest candidates you’ve ever seen,
Can’t talk solutions or contributions,
Just bashing Bush, they’re simply mean.

All the Rats know is how to attack,
They keep on spewing their political hack,
On the campaign trails, hoping that Bush fails,
A solid message is what they lack.

But the public is start, much more than they guess,
Bush is optimistic, the Dems are far less,
And bashing away as they do it, we all can see through it,
Knowing their message is geniune B.S.

[AD from SpringBay]

A nurse, an abortion

When holding a plastic uterus
a suction tube, moving them
in imitation of the scrubbing
this is when women will ask
the most secret question.

I am speaking tissue and the contents
and the woman suddenly says,
"How big is the baby now?"
a quiet need for definition.

It isn't so odd. After all,
she feels relief when I describe the
bulbous shape, it's miniature nature.
I gauge, and sometimes lie a little,
weasling around infantile features
until the clinging power slackens.

When I look in the basin,
among the curdlinke blood,
I see an elfin thorax, attentuated,
pencilline ribs all in parallel rows
with tiny knobs of spine rounding upwards.
A translucent arm and hand swim beside.

[EternalVigilance]

This is an example of not being able to put the worms back in the can.

[doug from upland]

All minorities really should note

Lefties ought to be getting their goat

Our words they've not heeded

Like children they're treated

They are told they're too stupid to vote

[Consort]

Reactivate The Poetry Branch of Free Republic

[doug from upland]

My husband was certainly no mensch.

=======================================

Suggestion: Though my husband is surely no mensch

[Fawnn]

This is an example of not being able to put the worms back in the can.

Meter's off, but I tried:

He tried to put his worms back into the can
Alas, found the bent twisted semantics fan
That like the stains on the dress
Yes, DNA *can* confess
Just who did whom still got a pizza de man.

[carlo3b]

LOLOLOL.. Great!!

[carlo3b]

You Da Man!

[No.6]

Ash and sweat begrimed
Four firefighters strive as one
To raise Old Glory

[GOPyouth]

Here I sit in deadly vapor,
Wishing for some toilet paper.
How long, I wonder, must I linger,
Before I'm forced to use my finger?

-bathroom walls

[Sloth]

OK, this is more limerick-ish...

In college, I lived in a dorm with community bathrooms, and evidently some of my neighbors had been remiss in their flushing duties, because this cloying bit of verse appeared on the bathroom wall:

There was once a man so clever,

He made a little lever,

That when you pulled down

It made such a sound!

And your toilet was clean forever.

---

As sympathetic as I was to the cause, I couldn't let something so sappy go by without comment. So I got on the computer and produced a 'sequel' in the same font & everything:

That lad so dapper,

His name: Thomas Crapper.

We revere him in a curious way;

When one empties his bowels

The bowl he befouls

Still bears Tom's name to this day.

[GOPyouth]

Here I sit in deadly vapor,
Wishing for some toilet paper.
How long, I wonder, must I linger,
Before I'm forced to use my finger?

-bathroom walls