'Iceman' was murdered, science sleuths say

USA Today ^ | 8/11/2003 | Tim Friend

[presidio9]

The 5,300-year-old "Iceman" discovered in 1991 in the Italian Alps was killed by one or more assailants in a fight that lasted at least two days, shows evidence obtained by sophisticated DNA testing and old-fashioned detective work.

Scientists initially presumed that the Stone Age Iceman, nicknamed Otzi, was caught in a storm and froze to death. But a new team said Monday that Otzi's case instead has become the world's oldest, and coldest, murder case.

[from occupied ga]

high capacity quiver and bayonet lug on the bow that got him into trouble.

LOL No doubt. Probably Ug Brady* was grunting something that translated "we have to get these evil bows off the paths - for the children Bows with high capacity quivers have only one purpose - to kill people"

*great x 200 grandparent of Sara Brady. Little known fact that she was considered to be so retarded and repulsive by the rest of the tribe that she eventually starved to death being unable to make a living as a prostitute and was denied charity by the tribe for infecting several goats with a STD.

[presidio9]

It been reported that his manhood was lost due to overzealous shoveling when he was first found and I think they have decided he was an "Italian".

Actually that sounds suspiciously French to me.

[PoorMuttly]

Hey Shaggy...these leathery, lobster-guy things I've been eating aren't Hobbits-es ! I've been hoodwinked !!!

Hobbits-es nice. Well...sort-of.

I also, for some reason, notice that Otzi's looking a lot like tasty Peking Duck these days. At least that would do more good (for me) than what my ancestor's master used him for after he froze like that...a door-stop for the out-hovel. They say he held the toilet-paper (dry leaves) really well...which is better than what he used to do well...get drunk, steal things and lie about it until the clan killed him. Poor Otzi. Do you think they'd give him to Muttly for a snack when they're through studying him ?

[null and void]

Peking Duck

If he'd ducked at the peak the arrow would have missed...

[PoorMuttly]

...according to Esteemed Muttly Ancestor...he was so drunk that, while relieving himself in the Sacred Meadow, where outraged villagers would not persue (knew almost all the tricks...)...that is when grandpa bit him in the privates (good dog) and he fell backwards on his accomplice, who happened to be holding their recently-stolen arrow...jabbing it into both of them. Explains the blood on his back, and arrow, too.

Forensic scientists. What a clueless bunch of maroons...sometimes. Muttly know lots of real, even famous scientists, and Muttly like...they pat him on the head all the time.

[SarahW]

I guess that would make him the "Iced-man".

[shaggy eel]

I also, for some reason, notice that Otzi's looking a lot like tasty Peking Duck these days.

,,, he looks like a bronze statue rather than glazed Peking duck. I'd like to think that I'd look that good that long after my use by date. Elizabeth Arden BUMP!

[PoorMuttly]

...but I couldn't eat YOU shaggy ! You're my eel friend, and they are hard to come by !

How many friendly and reasonable eels do you think there are, anyway ?!

Not many, believe me.

[shaggy eel]

How many friendly and reasonable eels do you think there are, anyway ?!

,,, Muttly, there's only one you need to know.

[PoorMuttly]

This is highly convenient for Muttly.

I just wish I didn't have to see that pictrue of "Otzi" every time on this thread.

Makes me hungry.

Yum !

[shaggy eel]

,,, did you ever see that British movie "The cook, the thief, his wife and her lover"? The scenario is very similar.

[PoorMuttly]

Some scenarios are timeless...which is all I really wanted to point out. People these days, at least in The Media, tend to sanctify what they cannot prove, and villify that which they have in hand.

We dogs never do that. We love everybody (almost)...but when you stop feeding us...we'll eat you too. Everyone gets the same treatment...first suspicion (do you want to take my food), then gratitude (thanks for feeding me), then...well...once it's room temperature...it IS food !

We don't concern ourselves about the motivations of dogs past. We know that dogs are dogs. Period.

You want to learn about the real world...watch the early Three Stooges, Bowery Boys, Little Rascals, Laurel & Hardy. They got by, and were always on the make. THAT's the world, in my humble, canine opinion. The exceptions are exceptions...and if they stand still too long, the new prey-species on the block.

[PoorMuttly]

Abott and Costello....

[Constitution Day]

LOL! The scary thing is, I could see it happening.

[SunkenCiv]

[SunkenCiv]