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USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Thursday Sports Day in the Canteen ~ July 3 2003
SouthernHawk, MoJo2001 and Kathy in Alaska
Posted on 07/02/2003 10:52:14 PM PDT by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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Sports Edition USO Canteen CEO: Tonkin Editor: MoJo Proofer: Ma |
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*FM stands for FReepmail. For our military and anyone else, please use the Contact Us link to email us. Thanks!
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CANTEEN SPORTS CORNER |
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Welcome to the Canteen Sports Corner! On the left hand side, you will find the links for all the sports you would ever want. Also, many of the items in the Corner are either inspired, or can be found, by following any of the links provided. Be sure to check out our sponsors below the links. As usual, we aim to please at the Canteen Sports Corner. Please enjoy your tour and by all means share any sports stuff that you may have. Have a great day!
The Canteen Sports Editors wish to thank SouthernHawk for his contribution to America, the Canteen, and for writing such a wonderful column.
Thank you, SouthernHawk. |
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GUEST SPORTS COLUMNIST
NASCAR FANS A bunch of heavy drinkers?
by SouthernHawk The Pepsi 400 is to NASCAR as Wednesday is to the work week. It is sort of a hump-day in the racing season. There are 19 races before the Pepsi 400 and 19 races after it. Now, please realize that I am not a professional sports writer. After folks read this article, I may not even be a Freeper. Oh well, here it goes.
There have been several occasions where I have found myself defending NASCAR fans from an accusation of being Heavy drinkers and big eaters. The wholesome image that I have attempted to portray is often challenged by a few professional couch potatoes. Generally, I am victorious (in spite of being outnumbered quite badly) in my defense of the fans. After several hard fought battles, I think I may need to reconsider.
This second-guessing started when I looked at the 2003 Winston Cup Schedule posted above my desk. It looks more like a take out menu from the local restaurant then a Race Schedule. Have you ever tried to defend NASCAR fans from the Accusers when the very first race is named after Budweiser Beer?
In fact, ten of the races on the schedule are named after drinks and food. An eleventh race also includes a food store and even goes so far as to tell you what type of car to drive to get there. This would be the Dodge/Save Mart race. Why would you name auto races after Gatorade, Pepsi or Coca Cola? Shouldnt racing be named after companies like Atlas Towing or Binfords Tool Time Body Shop?
When you stop and think about it, food and drink are tied pretty close to NASCAR. For instance, in our house, when you walk in the front door you find yourself in a large rectangular living room. The long sides of the room are in front of and behind you. The short sides of the rectangle are on your left and right. There is a door in the back left corner that goes to the hall and the bathroom at the end. On the right is an archway that leads into the kitchen. This creates a racetrack in our house. The lap goes out to the kitchen, into the living room (stop for a few minutes), then at the commercial down to the end of the hall for a pit stop. After your pit stop go back to the kitchen for a refill, return to the living room and you have completed your lap. The number of laps you do depends on how many commercials there are during the race. Sort of like your very own Pepsi/Coca-Cola/Budweiser 100.
Come to think of it, I guess NASCAR fans are HEAVY DRINKERS! Watch for the next NASCAR article. "Why does Viagra sponsor a race car?" (Are NASCAR fans imp...(Watch what you are thinking!)....important? ______________________
Click below on the Nascar.com link for a special message from the drivers to our troops! The link on the left hand side will take you directly to the front page of Nascar. Thanks! |
SouthernHawk is our first of many Guest Sports Columnists. If you are interested in having your words grace this thread, please FReepmail our Canteen Sports Editor, MoJo2001. The links are provided on the left hand side. Also, please send along comments regarding this column to SouthernHawk by using the "Guest FM" or "Contact Us" links. |
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In ancient Japan, public contests were held to see who in a town could fart the loudest and longest. Winners were awarded many prizes and received great recognition. (Tell that to your parents next time they tell you not to let one rip in public.)
You might think a yo-yo is just a fun toy. But it started out as a weapon in the Philippine Islands in the 16th century. It weighed four pounds and had a 20 foot cord. It was introduced to the United States as a toy in 1929.
_____________________________________ When Blue Collar workers get together, they talk about football...
When Middle Management get together, they talk about tennis...
When Top Management get together, they talk about golf...
Logical Conclusion:
The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are. (Click here for the link!) ________________________________
Sports Quotes
"Don't cut off your nose yourself." Casey Stengel, famed manager of the NY Yankees and Mets
"Gil Hodges is so strong he could snap your ear brows off." Casey Stengel, famed manager of the NY Yankees and Mets "If I wasn't talking, I wouldn't know what to say." NY Islanders goaltender Chico Resch "Lead us in a few words of silent prayer." ex-Houston Oiler and Florida State coach Bill Peterson "They gave me a standing observation." ex-Houston Oiler and Florida State coach Bill Peterson "Half this game is ninety percent mental." Danny Ozark, manager of the Philadelphia Phillies "Now Juantorena opens his legs-and really shows his class." David Coleman, broadcaster at the 1976 Montreal Olympics "I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on radio." President Gerald Ford "They throw Winfield out at second and he's safe." Padres announcer Jerry Coleman "I called the doctor and he told me that the contraptions were an hour apart." Mackey Sasser, NY Mets catcher, on his wife's labor "We have only one person to blame, and that's each other." Barry Beck, NY Rangers on who started a brawl during the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs "We are experiencing audio technicalities." Ralph Kliner, announcer for the NY Mets "Mike Andrews' limits are limitless." Danny Ozark, manager of the Philadelphia Phillies, about one of his players "I usually take a two-hour nap, from one o'clock to four." Yogi Berra, explaining what he does before night games
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Charles Barkeley: "Of course I'm important. You wouldn't ask me such a stupid question if I wasn't." |
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ASK MA Welcome to Ask Ma! This is where you can interact with Ma and ask her life's most important questions. This is especially true if you are an athlete, coach, or wannabe. If you happen to have a stressful life and need to tell someone, ask Ma!
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Dear Ma, What can someone like myself do to support our troops? Is there anything that a rich, good looking, available, and hardworking young man can do for such heroes? Please let me know.
Sincerely, A Humble Athlete _________________________________________ Dear Humble Athlete,
Stop The Presses! Is there such a thing as a humble athlete? If so, then I should stop writing "Ask Ma" columns. Each week I wade through the letters of malcontents and ego driven athletes. Today I am stunned that someone has actually taken Ma's advice and written. Thank you. Mankind might be useful after all. Let's see. I will have to think about what you can do for our troops.
First, please show support for our troops. If you happen to see an egotistical athlete claiming that "WAR IS BAD" please knock them upside the head. No one truly jumps up and down for wars except for Geraldo Rivera. He's the only one. Remind them that the person most likely to wish there was no war would be a soldier. Not some show off athlete with little understanding in the world. This brings me to my second point.
Why on Earth do athletes feel this need to speak when a microphone is around? Sometimes silence is golden. Being quiet is a difficult discipline amongst your set. Perhaps a little more humility and respect can be shown on Ma's television screen. Keep that in mind.
If we don't want to hear from an athlete on world opinions or social issues, then we most certainly don't want to hear from their mamas or relatives. (Are you hearing me, Mrs. Iverson?) Honestly, if your child is a moron than you probably are as well. We don't care what you think. We don't want to know what kind of food your child ate when he was younger. The nerve of some of these athletes family members to give parenting advice is beyond me. They are lucky to have a child gifted in athletics. We just don't want to be reminded of it every time we turn on television screen. We don't want to know.
If you want to show the troops something exciting on television, how about the Hooters girls or a check with their name on it for a million dollars? That would cheer up any of our lonely soldiers. Showing your mama in some gaudy Gucci/Nike clothing combination doesn't do it for most people. Why traumatize the world with your mama's lack of taste. (Just because you have money doesn't mean you have any class, as we've seen on numerous occasions.) So? Please stop showing your mamas.
Instead of buying another mansion for a mistress or buying another sports car that you won't drive, how about buying necessary items for our troops. Purchase things like eye drops, tissues, socks, reading material, or a card saying "Thank You". (Remember not to send porno as a "reading material" because we don't want to offend males from other parts of the world. Of course, they wouldn't look at naked women. Right?) A little less spending on yourselves and a little more on our troops would most certainly show some support and respect.
If you think your pampered wife needs another diamond, may I suggest something else? Why not sponsor a party at a military installation for the families of our troops currently deployed. A little thank you to the family members for their sacrifice could go a long way to provide much needed morale and a boost to our brave heroes. (Free and paid by you is the only way to do it.)
Posing with our troops or saying "I support the troops" is equivalent to saying "My agent thought this would be good to show the divorce judge that I'm a caring person". Don't do it! Find out where our troops are located and see if there are any organizations visiting the area. Perhaps if you are so famous, the Pentagon may allow you to go by yourself. By all means bring your friends. What else do they have to do in the off season? Spend money and cheat on you with your wife? No! Keep them busy by planning tours for our troops to see you.
Most important, you shouldn't consider yourself the "star" when you visit our troops. You should see yourself as most people see you. You are a pampered and overpaid crybaby. Allow yourself to be inspired by the selflessness and courage of our brave men and women. Bring your teammates and learn the true meaning of teamwork. Bring your family to appreciate how fortunate you are to see them everyday. While you are at it, bring your heart and be prepared to be truly humbled by their sacrifices. For when you do that, you will truly become a humbled athlete. For that, we would all be truly grateful.
Say your prayers and pray for our brave heroes. Ask God to shelter them from danger and to feel the love from this grateful country. Don't waste His time asking whether or not your wife will find out about another Bimbo. He has better things to do. So do our troops.
Ever useful, Ma |
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KEYWORDS: michaeldobbs
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub; Kathy in Alaska; tomkow6; LaDivaLoca; JohnHuang2
Mornin', everybody ! Happy Thursday ! Happy Independence Day (early) !!
81 degrees as I post this, headin' for around 97 - I bet we could hit 100 tho.
Have a cup while you FReep ! |
For those who prefer hot chocolate..... |
81
posted on
07/03/2003 6:17:11 AM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(Bu-bye Dixie Chimps! / Check out my Freeper site !: http://home.attbi.com/~freeper/wsb/index.html)
To: yall
82
posted on
07/03/2003 6:17:53 AM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(Bu-bye Dixie Chimps! / Check out my Freeper site !: http://home.attbi.com/~freeper/wsb/index.html)
To: MoJo2001
Morning, Sis! What are you gonna do today that you will try & blame on me?
83
posted on
07/03/2003 6:23:24 AM PDT
by
tomkow6
(........Picnic at Camp this Friday!...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!!!!!............................)
To: jriemer
I was going to post a link to this but it slipped My(so called) mind. Glad someone else was more on the ball than me...(not that, that would be all that hard).
84
posted on
07/03/2003 6:29:34 AM PDT
by
Valin
(Humor is just another defense against the universe.)
To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
Good Morning Everybody.
Coffee & Donuts J
85
posted on
07/03/2003 6:33:57 AM PDT
by
Fiddlstix
(~~~ http://www.ourgangnet.net ~~~~~)
To: MoJo2001
Ahhhh, that explains everything. All in the family!
86
posted on
07/03/2003 6:53:14 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
(Remembering our forefathers, their sacrifices made Independence Day possible. Do not forget the cost)
To: SouthernHawk
That's sounds reasonable. But MoJo says it is cause he is her brother. And, family can be part of the "business"!
87
posted on
07/03/2003 6:56:16 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
(Remembering our forefathers, their sacrifices made Independence Day possible. Do not forget the cost)
To: beachn4fun
I'd bet you are on to something with that!
To: beachn4fun; SouthernHawk
That's sounds reasonable. But MoJo says it is cause he is her brother. And, family can be part of the "business"!
Hey, I resemble that remark!
89
posted on
07/03/2003 7:06:26 AM PDT
by
tomkow6
(........Picnic at Camp this Friday!...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!!!!!............................)
To: tomkow6
see, I knew it,,,,,,LOL
90
posted on
07/03/2003 7:11:07 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
(Remembering our forefathers, their sacrifices made Independence Day possible. Do not forget the cost)
To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
What's so great about America (Must Read)
The Christian Science Monitor ^ | 7/3/03 | Dinesh D'Souza
RANCHO SANTA FE, CALIF. The conventional wisdom is that immigrants come to America to get rich. This notion is conveyed endlessly in the "rags to riches" literature on immigrants, and it is reinforced by America's critics, who like to think of the United States as buying the affection of immigrants through the promise of making them filthy rich. But this Horatio Alger narrative is woefully incomplete; indeed, it misses the real attraction of America to immigrants, and to people around the world.
There is enough truth in the conventional account to give it a surface plausibility.
Certainly America offers a degree of mobility and opportunity unavailable elsewhere, even in Europe. Only in the US could Pierre Omidyar, whose ancestry is Iranian and who grew up in France, have started a company like eBay. Only in the US could Vinod Khosla, the son of an Indian Army officer, become a shaper of the technology industry and a billionaire to boot.
In addition to providing unprecedented social mobility and opportunity, America gives a better life to the ordinary guy than does any other country. Let's be honest: Rich people live well everywhere. America's greatness is that it has extended the benefits of affluence, traditionally available to the very few, to a large segment of society. We live in a nation where "poor" people have TV sets and microwave ovens, where construction workers cheerfully spend $4 on a nonfat latte, where maids drive very nice cars, where plumbers take their families on vacation to St. Kitts.
Recently I asked an acquaintance in Bombay why he has been trying so hard to relocate to America. He replied, "I really want to move to a country where the poor people are fat."
The typical immigrant, who is used to the dilapidated infrastructure, mind-numbing inefficiency, and multilayered corruption of third-world countries, arrives in the US to discover, to his wonder and delight, that everything works: Roads are clean and paper-smooth, highway signs clear and accurate; public toilets function properly; when you pick up the telephone you get a dial tone; you can even buy things from the store and then take them back.
The American supermarket is a thing to behold: endless aisles of every imaginable product, many types of cereal, 50 flavors of ice cream. The place is full of unappreciated inventions: quilted toilet paper, fabric softener, cordless phones, disposable diapers, and roll-on luggage.
So, yes, in material terms, America offers the newcomer a better life. Still, the material allure of America does not capture the deepest source of its appeal.
Recently I asked myself how my life would have been different if I had not come to America. I was raised in a middle-class family in India. I didn't have luxuries, but I didn't lack necessities. Materially, my life is better in the US, but it is not a fundamental difference. My life has changed far more dramatically in other ways.
Had I remained in India, I would probably live my entire existence within a five-mile radius of where I was born. I would undoubtedly have married a woman of my identical religious and socioeconomic background, possibly someone selected by my parents. I would face relentless pressure to become an engineer or a doctor.
My socialization would have been entirely within my own ethnic community. I would have a whole set of opinions that could be predicted in advance. In sum, my destiny would, to a large degree, have been given to me.
By coming to America, I've seen my life freed of these confines. At Dartmouth College, I became interested in literature and switched my major to the humanities. Soon, I developed a fascination with politics, and resolved to become a writer, which is something you can do in America, and which is not easy to do in India.
I married a woman of English, Scots-Irish, French, and German ancestry. Eventually, I found myself working in the White House, even though I wasn't an American citizen. I can't imagine any other country allowing a noncitizen to work in its inner citadel of government.
In most of the world, even today, identity and fate are largely handed to you. This is not to say that you have no choice, but it is choice within given parameters. In America, by contrast, you get to write the script of your own life. What to be, where to live, whom to love, whom to marry, what to believe, what religion to practice - these are all decisions that, in America, we make for ourselves. Here, we're architects of our own destiny.
"Self determination" is the incredibly powerful idea that is behind the worldwide appeal of the US. Young people throughout the world find irresistible the prospect of being in the driver's seat of their own lives. So, too, the immigrant discovers that America permits him to break free of the constraints that have held him captive, so that the future becomes a landscape of his own choosing.
The phrase that captures this unique aspect of America is the "pursuit of happiness."
Nobel laureate V.S. Naipaul analyzes that concept this way: "It is an elastic idea; it fits all men. It implies a certain kind of society, a certain kind of awakened spirit. So much is contained in it: the idea of the individual, responsibility, choice, the life of the intellect, the idea of vocation and perfectibility and achievement.
It is an immense human idea. It cannot be reduced to a fixed system. It cannot generate fanaticism. But it is known to exist, and because of that, other more rigid systems in the end blow away."
Dinesh D'Souza is the author of 'What's So Great About America.' He is the Rishwain Fellow at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University in Palo Alto, Calif.
Copyright © 2003 The Christian Science Monitor. All rights reserved.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/939842/posts?page=2#2
91
posted on
07/03/2003 7:11:13 AM PDT
by
Valin
(Humor is just another defense against the universe.)
To: MoJo2001
Hurry back MoJo.
92
posted on
07/03/2003 7:13:44 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
(Remembering our forefathers, their sacrifices made Independence Day possible. Do not forget the cost)
To: MoJo2001
Hiya MoJo, you have a great week-end, too!
My personal "Terror Condition:"
93
posted on
07/03/2003 7:16:13 AM PDT
by
Aeronaut
("The wicked are always surprised to find nobility in the good.")
To: Aeronaut; LindaSOG; Radix; LaDivaLoca; Severa; Bethbg79; southerngrit; bkwells; Wild Thing; ...
POP Quiz Time!
Who ARE these guys?
Richard Mentor Johnson, George Mifflin Dallas, William Almon Wheeler and Garret Augustus Hobart.
Were these the original names of John, Paul, George and Ringo?
The best barbershop quartet ever?
Winners of a weird middle name contest?
The most successful Fuller Brush Company salesmen, 1927-1930?
94
posted on
07/03/2003 7:19:59 AM PDT
by
tomkow6
(........Picnic at Camp this Friday!...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!!!!!............................)
To: MoJo2001
The weather is hot and dry and the mountain north of Tucson took a turn for the worse. The fire made its way around a fireline and turned back up the mountain. Containment has dropped from 70% to 60%, and it's threatening to run away from the firefighters today.
70-90 miles SE of the fire, here in the San Pedro Valley, the smoke is hanging over everything. We saw it last night at sunset (amazing how a terrible thing can look so beautiful!) and knew something big was burning. We had no idea the fire had blazed up again.
We're safe, but the firefighters are going to have their hands full for awhile now.
95
posted on
07/03/2003 7:21:20 AM PDT
by
HiJinx
(The Right Person, in the Right place, at the Right time...)
To: SouthernHawk; MoJo2001
Yeah, she has a way of doing that all the time!! ;)
96
posted on
07/03/2003 7:22:17 AM PDT
by
HiJinx
(The Right Person, in the Right place, at the Right time...)
To: tomkow6; beachn4fun; MoJo2001
You had better quit the "monkey business"!
No Alpine BURKAS! LOL
To: MoJo2001
It'd okay, you can like Country music...if you want to!
But you still can't beat AZ Flyboy's wife for eclectic taste. She had Frank Sinatra and Led Zeppelin playing on the same CD yesterday as they were swimming!!! The only thing she absolutely refuses to listen to is Cletus T. Judd.
(Western music is good, too!)
98
posted on
07/03/2003 7:32:20 AM PDT
by
HiJinx
(The Right Person, in the Right place, at the Right time...)
To: tomkow6
Good morning, Tom! Good morning, Patriotic Pattie!
99
posted on
07/03/2003 7:32:57 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(God Bless America and Our Military Who Protect Her)
To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub; MoJo2001; LindaSOG; TEXOKIE; southerngrit; LaDivaLoca; Bethbg79; ...
Good morning Troops, families, veterans, Israeli, British, Australian, Polish, and Italian allies (and everybody else). Thank you for taking such good care of the USA.
Today in Anchorage, Alaska:
Sunrise 4:30am
Sunset 11:36pm
Hi 64°F
Lo 48°F
Mostly coudy; a shower
Actual yesterday in Anchorage:
Hi 65°F
Lo 43°F
State Hi 80°F Eagle
State Lo 39°F Barrow
100
posted on
07/03/2003 7:36:50 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(God Bless America and Our Military Who Protect Her)
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