[dark_lord]

On the other hand, it can be argued that the purpose of sex is for procreation. If you are not trying to have kids, then by definition you are a pervert. (Pardon me whilst I don my asbestos armor. Okay...done. Flame away.)

[Registered]

I feel dangerous, I'll give it a bump!

"Her idea of foreplay is me taking out the trash and doing the dishes while keeping the kids entertained."

I get lots of foreplay. LOL.

[laurav]

This is just sad ... everyone trying to win the rat race and no time for each other. Both partners should cut back on the hours at work.

[Cicero]

Numerous studies have shown that observant Jews, loyal Catholics, and church-going Protestants who avoid extramarital affairs and have traditional values have more and better sex than postmodernist yuppies and swingers.

I would agree. If you honor marriage and family and use sex with love and mutuality as it was meant to be used, things work out better.

I notice that this writer does not recommend pornography, and I agree. That would only make matters worse: more unnatural, dehumanized, self-centered, and mechanical.

[Aliska]

Aside from the other things mentioned, too many couples tend to pick someone based on lust which seldom lasts. I think maybe there is a deeper love that lasts that passes most couples by.

[Grando Calrissian]

All women need to know that quickest way to turn off a guy is to say these 5 words:

"What are you thinking about?"

[banjo joe]

Here's a great line from a local tire retailer: "take care of your customer or someone else will".

Repeat often. At your peril, of course.

[governsleastgovernsbest]

the problems of dual-income, no-sex marriages

Some couples don't find it a problem at all.

[laurav]

A Los Angeles-area electronics consultant, a fitness buff, complains that his wife's weight gain has left him cold. He's not alone: Overweight spouses are a common beef among men and women who work out at his gym, he says.

One of the funniest lines in the Al Franken "Oh The Things I Know!" graduation book is that gaining weight and letting your appearance go to hell are good ways to passive-agressively punish your spouse. Says something about the Franken marriage!

[cake_crumb]

Everybody's spouse has something about them that gets on their nerves. There really is no quick fix, though immersion in the rat race definitely doesn't help.

[Interesting Times]

Although therapy can still help a marriage if only one spouse participates, it's best if both attend. If your spouse resists, try saying, "We need to talk more about our relationship, and I think a third party might help," suggests William Northey of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Alexandria, Va.

Now there's an objective, disinterested opinion.

Try making a deal: "If you attend just one session, I'll get off your back."

"Tell me, what will it take for you to buy this fine previously-owned automobile today?"

Usually one session is enough to allow a good therapist to win over a reluctant spouse. Some are willing to call a resistant spouse to urge participation.

No surprise there.

She asks, "Is it worth it for me to go through some kind of therapy?"

"Absolutely," says Tony Jurich, a past president of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy...

Our motto: "Your dysfunction is our renumeration."

[Ruth A.]

Just some thoughts:

Get rid of your debt and you'll get rid of a lot of the stress in a marriage. Maybe you'll even have time for each other and the family.

Procreation is one purpose of sex in marraige, but it is also a therapy for the husband and wife. Whether times are good or bad, sex and make it better by turning to each other and sharing what you share with no one else. Sex can create endorphins, which might just get some people of feel-good medications (which, interestingly, reduce a woman's sex drive) or booze.

If you aren't having sex, I think you tend to respond to each other more like brother and sister: you know how to push the buttons to irritate each other and the feelings of romantic love lessen.

Yes, women generally take longer. If you love your wife accept that and take the time to show your love. I would like to believe that the wife's response will be worthwhile.

Me, I'm waiting for my husand to come home from deployment. :)

[Delbert]

Others cited a spouse's failure to stay in shape. A Los Angeles-area electronics consultant, a fitness buff, complains that his wife's weight gain has left him cold. He's not alone: Overweight spouses are a common beef among men and women who work out at his gym, he says.
<---I work out regularly plus martial arts, love being in shape, cant say the same for my wife, tried repeatedly to get her involved. Causing big time problems. Any ideas? Hard for me to just come out and say it, she cries at the drop of a hat. : (

[Rushmore Rocks]

I once read in a Cosmopolitan article that one way to spice things up a bit was to greet your husband clothed in nothing but Saran Wrap. All I had in the kitchen was aluminum foil......didn't work! But, we're still laughing about it after 42 years of marriage! Sometimes a good sense of humor is the best thing to bring to the marriage bed.

[narses]

These folks need to find the Church and Her compassionate teaching on the marital state. And no, I am not being facetious.

[carlo3b]

Or you can try it my way.... with FOOD!  LOLOLOL

CAN YOU SHAKE UP YOUR SEX LIFE WITH SHIITAKE?   YES!!!!!

...I'LL SHOW YOU HOW!

Chinese emperors consumed Shiitake mushrooms in large quantities to fend off old age.  The ancient Japanese courts held the Shiitake in such regard and so valued for its aphrodisiac properties, that the growing sites were well hidden and heavily guarded.

Mushrooms are often the mysterious ingredient in stories and folk tales as well as in recipes. They stand accused in the deaths of such eminent personages as the real Emperor Claudius. By the Middle Ages their toxic qualities were harnessed into an effective fly killer. Fame finally came to the cèpe at the box office, with it's starring role in Andy Warhol's "Eat," the forty-five-minute movie of a man eating a mushroom.

Mushrooms are an ancient food, some varieties traceable to the Stone Age. They were the food of the Pharaohs in ancient Egypt, and they remained the food of the rich throughout nineteenth-century France and England. For all their haughty associations, and famed naughtiness, mushrooms are a most primitive plant.  Varieties are found the world over and successfully cultivated in caves, and in underground quarry tunnels, as in seventeenth-century France; and in abandoned limestone mines, as in present-day Pennsylvania. Mushrooms in general, and shiitake in particular are used as a powerful sexual stimulating tonic and homemade concoctions for fertility, are still found all over this universe.

Well, apart from these obvious sex maniacs, another group of people might want to give you more thoughts about the virtues of shiitake mushrooms are the so-called health maniacs. Shiitake is widely recognized as a health food, at first mainly by the Chinese and the Japanese and now increasingly, by doctors and scientists the world over. Edible mushrooms have been traditionally used throughout the Orient for their medicinal and tonic properties. A derivative property, lentinan, was and is still demonstrated to enhance host resistance against infections from various types of bacteria, viruses, fungi and parasites.

Some enjoyed the benefits of the mushroom, albeit with some reservations much as an appreciative mushroom fancier, the famed French author Alexandre Dumas who often had second thoughts, "I confess," he wrote early in the nineteenth century, with a regretful tone, "that nothing frightens me more than the appearance of mushrooms on the table, especially in a small provincial town." And Fannie Farmer, a legendary cookbook maven, in her 1909 edition, seems more adventurous than usual when she urges that, since mushrooms "grow about us abundantly," they therefore "should often be found on the table."  Martha Washington offered that George especially enjoyed just a bit of cream to heighten the flavor of her recipe "To Dress a Dish of Mushrumps."

Soooooo, whether your Martha trying to jazz up ole George, or a fat emperor fighting off Father Time, nothing beats using the Mushroom, garlic, or anything else for that matter, to light the romantic fires in your life...
and if all else fails, try this;

Steak Aphrodite

Pulling out all the stops... This is a gourmet French recipe, Tornadoes de boeuf, celebrated in honor of an Grecian sex Goddess, Aphrodite, adding a Chinese aphrodisiac, Shiitake, and enhanced by an Italian Chef... now, how in the Heck can you miss?

• 4 (3 oz) split Filet Mignons, thawed, (center cut beef tenderloin medallions)
• 1/8 tsp. Salt
• 1/8 tsp. Freshly ground pepper
• 2 Tbs.. Butter
• 1 tsp. Dijon style mustard
• 2 Tbs.. Shallots, minced
• 1 Tbs.. Butter
• 1 Tbs.. Fresh Lemon juice
• 1/8 tsp. Fresh Garlic, minced
• 1 1/2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
• 4 med. Shiitake mushrooms, sliced to 1/8 in. (if dried, reconstitute in 1/2 cup hot water, 20 min, retain water)
• 1 Tbs. Fresh chives, minced
• 2 Tbs. Sherry
• 1 tsp. Brandy, or cognac (optional)
• 1 Tbs. Fresh parsley, minced

1) Season both sides of steak with salt and pepper.
2) Melt butter in a heavy skillet; add mustard, and shallots. Sauté over medium heat 1 minute.
3) Add steaks, cook approximately 4 minutes on each side for medium rare.
Remove steaks to serving plate and keep warm.
4) Add into pan drippings, 1 Tbs. butter, lemon juice, Sherry, 2 Tbs. mushroom water, and mushrooms, Worcestershire sauce, and chives. Cook for 3 minutes.
5) If you wish to Flambé*, tilt the pan slightly, and pour the brandy or cognac into the front edge of the pan; turn the heat to high and let the flame (or if electric, light with a match) catch the brandy's vapors and ignite it. Swirl slightly, turn off the heat and let the flame go out.
Present on pre warmed plates, and sprinkled with parsley.
May I suggest a full bodied vintage Burgundy wine, as in Vosne Romanee.
Serves 1 pulsating sultry maiden, and 1 burgeoning lover..

* Flambe, means to ignite foods that have liquor or liqueur added. This is done to add a dramatic effect, and to develop a deep rich flavor. Use an 80-proof brandy or cognac. Liquors that are higher, 140, and 100 proof  are a bit too volatile when lit, leave the pyrotechnics for the restaurant dining room pros. Heat the brandy (or liquors, and liqueurs, in the case of fancy desserts) in a saucepan just until bubbles begin to form around the edges. May also be heated in a microwave oven by heating 30 to 45 seconds in a microwave proof dish at 100 percent power.
NOTE; Never pour liquor from a bottle into a pan that is near an open flame (the flame can follow the stream of alcohol into the bottle and cause it to explode).
Ignite with a long match. Always ignite the fumes and not the liquid itself. Never lean over the dish or pan as you light the fumes.  YEHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa .... LIGHT THEIR FIRE!!!!

Excerpts from the upcoming SOUP, SEX, and the SINGLE MAN, by Chef Carlo J. Morelli, http://www.CookingWithCarlo.com
 

[goodieD]

this is utterly ridiculous... it's as if they are saying that sex is 90 percent of a marriage..would they divorce their spouse if they became paralyzed and couldn't have sex anymore? People have completely forgotten what marriage is all about, because easy divorce has given people a way out so they don't have to actually work through any problems.
Marriage is about working together towards common goals, friendship, responsibility, communication and the kind of love that grows deeper through shared adversity and good times. If the double income is strictly to maintain a high lifestyle, maybe these people have their priorities all screwed up.... I'd rather live a modest lifestyle and have time for my husband and kids, than live like kings and have no relationships with the ones I love.

[BlazingArizona]

Offer to take her shopping - and let her use coupons. This drives women wild - and they appreciate it because they know that men wopuld rather clean toilets than go shopping with coupons.

[marron]

The key to a happy marriage is to like each other. Lots of people love each other, or love who they thought they were, or love who they wish they were, or love who they could be if only...

But if you will like each other now, or make the decision to like each other, warts and all, now, so much pressure in the relationship lifts, your mate can be who she is because you like who she is, and you put up with who she is, because despite everything you like her. And lover her. And she likes you inexplicably despite everything... not the person you could be, but the person you are even now.

I can't imagine what it must be like to exist in a marriage where each is in love with the person their mate will never be, and seething all the while. But I see it, in others. I hear people complaining about their spouse, and I can't help but think, why don't you try just liking her? And go from there? Or him. Same thing.

Its amazing what you can put up with if you honestly like each other. Love separated from like is an unhappy thing. Love rooted in like is how nature intended it, I think.

[mombonn]

"Her idea of foreplay is me taking out the trash and doing the dishes while keeping the kids entertained."

He's obviously never read "Sex Begins in the Kitchen" by Dr. Kevin Leman.