Ailing Man Sues Fast-Food Firms (Want a class-action lawsuit with that burger? An Even Dumber Fast

fox news ^ | Wednesday, July 24, 2002 | Michael Y. Park

[eartotheground]

A New York City lawyer has filed suit against the four big fast food corporations, saying their fatty foods are responsible for his client

[Just another Joe]

Dennis Miller said this wouldn't happen until courts got drive through windows!

Don't they have drive through divorce courts in Las Vegas? ;^)

[nothingnew]

Got a picture of this "fat bastard".(The Spy Who Shagged Me"...it's a quote, so don't ban me...)...or a picture of his fat or skinny lawyer?

We better get some NEW judges up in the Circuit Courts, or this is all there is, from now until we'll all be broke...

FMCDH

[Just another Joe]

Food! We're talking FOOD here! FOOD!

No, we're talking bucks to a fat man.

[nothingnew]

No, we're talking bucks to a fat man.

"Don't want to be a faaat man, too much to carry around for that...."

Tull

FMCDH

[Madame Dufarge]

IT FINALLY HAPPENED, FOLKS! LET THE GAMES BEGIN! I am definitively eating Mickey D's tonight.

Hell, I'm having a six-pack too, so I can sue Anheuser-Busch!

Got to get paid!!

[SoDak]

Lawyers are destroying the country. We need tort reform NOW.

[metesky]

The lead plaintiff, 56-year-old maintenance supervisor Caesar Barber, ate at fast food restaurants four or five times a week and blames his fatty diet for his obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol and the two heart attacks he has suffered.

Three squares a day, last time I checked, thats a minimum of 21 meals a week. So even five times a week is less than 25% of Tubby's diet.

Frances Winn, a 57-year-old retired nurse, said her habit of eating at fast-food restaurants at least twice a week since 1975, caused her to go from a size 6 to a size 18, and inflicted her with hypertension, high cholesterol and a hyperthyroid problem.

Same for you, Fatty Franny. Where do you scoff those 4000 calories the other five days of the week?

Israel Bradley, 59, said his ritual of eating a pound of french fries a week gave him high blood pressure, diabetes, made him obese and forces him to walk with a cane.

Somethings not kosher here, Izzy. You don't get that way from less than 2 1/2 oz. of fries a day.

I hope Mickey D has the guts to call Dr. Atkins at the trial so he can point these larda$$e$ to the error of their ways.

[metesky]

"Babies! The other white meat!"
;O)

[yankeedame]

The lead plaintiff, 56-year-old maintenance supervisor Caesar Barber...

I see. This guy is a 56 year old bachelor...He is a janitor ("maintenance supervisor")...and he is tubby. I bet we all know what this guy looks like without even seeing his picture.

------------------------

"Hello,Mr. Barber"

"Hello, Mrs. Levi. How are you today?"

"Aey, don't ask. My hip...its throbbing like a drum! OOO...I see you got yourself a new pair of pants. Bet they're more comfortable,too. So? What'll it be today? The regular?"

"Sure. But,uh, give me a couple of them cookie things too."

"You want I should make two like usual? One for here and one to go? You know, you should meet a nice girl and settle down. That way you could have home cooked meals instead of this stuff. You know,Mr. Barber, doctors they say this stuff ain't so good all the time."

"Doctors! Ha! What do they know?"

[Desdemona]

Lazy, lazy, lazy.

Good heavens, is the victim status now so entrenched that bad personal habits are not one's own fault? Wait. Never mind.

[KarlInOhio]

And these, um, ahem, mental midgets never saw the salads on the menus?

Lettuce is just Nature's way of holding up a plate full of salad dressing and bacon bits.

[metesky]

What if It's All Been a Big Fat Lie?

[Willie Green]

A New York City lawyer has filed suit against the four big fast food corporations, saying their fatty foods are responsible for his client’s obesity and related health problems. Samuel Hirsch filed his lawsuit Wednesday at a New York state court in the Bronx, alleging that McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s and KFC Corporation are irresponsible and deceptive in the posting of their nutritional information,

IMHO, these 4 companies should countersue for fraudulent abuse of the legal system and demand that Mr. Hirsch be disbarred.

[Timesink]

Is there another place other than New York to file these lawsuits? Plenty of jackasses there...

Just keep in mind that anybody can sue anybody over anything, anytime (the old "you can indict a ham sandwich" adage). It doesn't mean the judge isn't going to throw the suit out within five minutes of taking the bench on the first day of the trial.

[Fresh Wind]

Hell, I'm having a six-pack too, so I can sue Anheuser-Busch!

Forget it! Beer has now been shown to be good for you!

www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/711235/posts

[flushed with pride]

Where's Johnny Cochoran? Where's Jerrold Nadler (aka Jabba the Hutt)? Where's Henry Waxman? I need a payday, dammit! Get me into that plaintiff's class any way you can, guys!
I need to be saved from the Big Cholesterol/Republican cartel and I need the government to do it for me!(sarcasm/off)

[angkor]

Is there a way to sue this attorney for breach of the public trust? Or something else?

I'd like to see a national movement to stop trial attorneys from promulgating this nonsense.

[FlyVet]

It doesn't mean the judge isn't going to throw the suit out within five minutes of taking the bench on the first day of the trial.

Unless the judge happens to be the shyster's golf buddy.

[Argh]

HEY MAX! I'm gonna use this as a precedent to sue the beer companies. You suppose they'll be willing to pay off in more beer?

[SheLion]

"Don't want to be a faaat man, too much to carry around for that...."

Don't worry. "IT" gets smaller the bigger the belly.