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Posted on 10/31/2026 7:35:26 PM PDT by chickenlips
I am sitting in a bar in Sheridan, Wyoming. I can’t help but overhear a conversation about a local suicide that the bartender said was precipitated by a man’s wife leaving him. I am acutely attuned to this because an acquaintance, and now friend, whom I met in a bar in Red Lodge, Montana, told me about the suicide epidemic among men in Montana. It’s not the first time I have heard these kinds of stories. They often involve men going through divorce or separation and sometimes losing not only a marriage but also their daily connection to their children, their friends, and the life they thought they had built.
It’s no secret that mothers are far more likely than fathers to be the primary custodial parent. It’s also no secret that women these days also initiate the majority of divorces, especially among college-educated couples. Taken together, these facts raise a question that no one seems to be asking, or even cares about asking: what happens to a man when he loses his marriage, his home, and the ordinary privilege of seeing his children grow up? SNIP>>>>>
To the average man, the loss of a job is more than losing a job; it is the loss of their sense of striving and honor. SNIP>>>>>>
When we look at the extent of the despair in some of these communities, it is not just middle-aged men who lose their jobs. Younger men in these communities often struggle to see a future for themselves. SNIP>>>>
(Excerpt) Read more at amgreatness.com ...
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This is not a new phenomenon. I remember my father's good friend taking his life back in the 60's when his marriage and life fell apart. I have seen it with employees and I have seen it with friends where divorce and/or long term unemployment destroyed them and their families.
The author does a good job of describing the problem and the solutions that we must pursue.
I recently had a conversation with a relative who basically told me: “Women are oppressed. Women suffer. Women have it much tougher than men. Men have no idea what women go through. The mental load. The stress. The anxiety. Women have to put up with so much more than men do.”
Well, men have a shorter life expectancy, and a higher rate of suicide. Men are out there suffering quite a bit. But, in general, society turns a blind eye toward the pain that men feel. Men are supposed to just “suck it up” while everyone expresses concern for the victimhood of women.
Everybody hurts.
To the family court system, men are nothing more than wallets with two legs.
I’ve given up hope
for the afternoon soaps
When i went through my one and only divorce I enlisted in the Army and went to the other end of the country...FURIOUS that I was no longer going to have any real input in my 2 year old daughters raising. The ex went on to have 4 more children with one decent guy and an 18 year old of her A.A.’s sponsors son...she died after inheriting 50K and living as a lesbian about 9 years ago....she messed up a lot of lives. My daughter ended up a devout Christian and took guardianship of two of her siblings. (I did put her through Catholic school) But I was nothing but a wallet no jmatter what I brought to the attention of welfare and child services.... The racket has no concern for the welfare of children....just a bloated staff shuffling money ...pathetic and I hope they all rot in hell.
This is correct.
I was naive when I got married. It never occurred to me that I was creating a situation where the state can intervene and award your kids and half your net worth to a spouse, no matter how egregious her behavior.
If my son ever asks me if he should marry, it will be difficult to say yes. Even though I believe in marriage as a covenant, the state has turned it into a contract breakable without consequences. In other words, no covenant at all.
As a result, many young men are refusing to marry now, and it’s impossible to blame them.
(It’s also no secret that women these days
also initiate the majority of divorces)
Sounds like a few situations that I know about...
When i went through my one and only divorce I enlisted in the Army and went to the other end of the country...FURIOUS that I was no longer going to have any real input in my 2 year old daughters raising. The ex went on to have 4 more children with one decent guy and an 18 year old of her A.A.’s sponsors son...she died after inheriting 50K and living as a lesbian about 9 years ago....she messed up a lot of lives. My daughter ended up a devout Christian and took guardianship of two of her siblings. (I did put her through Catholic school) But I was nothing but a wallet no jmatter what I brought to the attention of welfare and child services.... The racket has no concern for the welfare of children....just a bloated staff shuffling money ...pathetic and I hope they all rot in hell.
I was on the hook for $48K a year to my ex.
Then my daughter mentioned how my ex’s whole family was showing up.
To me, that meant she was getting married. I searched the local Macy’s for a gift registry, and Bingo! Found her and her soon to be husband #2.
I was temporarily unemployed at the time, and claimed penury. The judge gave me a break. Then I offered her a cheap buyout, knowing she would take it with the risk of her new gravy train becoming public, and getting nothing. She took it.
I cleared the check, and then sent her “Best Wishes with Chuck!” She was flabbergasted. I knew, and she didn’t understand she had just been hoodwinked.
She divorced that dude in 18 months, and I was Scott Free!!!
If a woman said that to me I might tell her in no uncertain terms what a load of bollocks that is. Everybody suffers. Life isn’t for pansies. The difference is women are allowed to verbalize their suffering, while men are supposed to keep it to themselves. Literally men aren’t allowed to externalize their difficulties. That’s bullshit. About 10 years ago in an 18 month period I lost my marriage, my house, my career and my physical health. If it wasn’t for a supportive family and mental health counselors I literally can’t say what would’ve happened to me. I was messed up. My disability claim was finally approved on the very first day of lockdown, after 2 and 1/2 years of fighting for it. My counselor told me I was one of the few patients she had whose mental health improved during covid. Men suffer just like women. It’s time we accepted it, and acted accordingly.
CC
We can demand that family courts take a father’s continuing place in his children’s lives seriously while also protecting children and parents from genuine abuse.
And the rest of us could revive the bowling leagues, volunteer fire departments, veterans’ groups, fraternal organizations, and civic clubs that once gave men a place to belong. None of this is glamorous. That is rather the point. We should also be willing to ask a man how he is doing and then stick around long enough to hear the answer. When somebody loses his job, invite him over. When a father stops showing up at church or the local bar, find out why. When a friend is going through a divorce, do not simply choose sides and disappear him from your life. And when a man tells you he sees no way forward, take him seriously and help him. These are small acts, but communities are built out of small acts repeated over generations. A government program cannot substitute for them, and early Americans knew that.
Often, a few rough years after a divorce, the men are doing better while the ex-wife finds herself in reduced circumstances, pining for her former marriage, and resentful at men that her choices led to such an outcome. I know the details of two such cases, with unfaithful ex-wives who refused counseling angry that their ex remarried happily and would not them back.
Interesting. I always hear about husbands leaving wives for younger women.
Bookmark
“Child support” ...as levied by these filthy systems ...is a malignant soul crushing cancer. Not me but a close family member. The women who demand and greedily accept it are pitiless, souless vipers. I see cruises, glamorous vacations, wide screen TV’s, expensive cars etc bought with the “child support” payments. Disgusting.
I knew a guy who was a mail carrier living in the basement of a friend’s house because it was all he could afford with his alimony and child support payments. His ex-wife was taking her boyfriend on vacations to the Bahamas and stuff like that. He finally blew his brains out with his 30-30, one of his few possessions. Put a hole in the living room floor of my friend’s house, along with some brain matter. Poor woman had to get along without his alimony and child support payments after that.
Only if the man is rich 😂
Before my local fishwrap became a “useless hay today” aka USA Today affiliate it would publish a list of divorce suits filed and divorce actions granted.
On the “suits initiated” women were initiating 2:1.
The “actions granted” were pretty much 50/50.
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