Posted on 03/21/2021 8:31:35 PM PDT by lasereye
Below is a transcript of Joe Biden's first State of the Union Address:
President Obama, President Harris, Madame Speaker, members of Congress, the senator who was a Mormon, General. . . the guy who runs that outfit, Dr. Anthony Fauci, CEOs Zuckerberg, Dorsey and Bezos, his highness Bill Gates, and fellow Americans -- I speak tonight on the state of the union and guess what, here’s the deal:
First, I want to recognize all those who took part in the most extensive system of voter fraud in American history. Without your hard work and dedication, Joe Biden would not be where he is today.
I also recognize those who entered the United States illegally because they are already Americans. So it’s only right that you vote in our elections. You will be needed in 2022 and 2024, so despite the pandemic, I will bring many more of you into the United States, so our nation is more unified with yours.
Any disunity in America is all due to Donald Trump, who put up a wall to keep you out. African Americans who voted for Trump should understand that, guess what, you ain’t black. Sorry, that’s just the way it is and I choose this truth over facts. Be sure and get it right next time, and remember, poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.
Trump took us out of the World Health Organization, so I restored the ties, and the funding. The USA is now more unified with the WHO and its great leader Tedros. As I recognize, the WHO always knows what is best for the United States and all the nations of the world. Just kind of a simple thing.
I have also unified us more with China by giving President Xi Jinping a free hand with the Uighurs, in Hong Kong, and with Taiwan. As I recognize, the People’s Republic of China operates under different norms, so what they do is okay with me, even if it violates human rights and adversely affects the United States.
As I said on the campaign trail, the Chinese are “not bad folks” and “not competition for us.” On my watch, the United States will continue to fund the Wuhan Institute of Virology, whatever its role in the pandemic that has killed so many of us and wrecked our economy.
I mean, c’mon man, we will build back better. Everybody just kick back and make sure you have the record player on at night. That is very important in tough and dangerous times, at home and abroad.
In Syria, thanks to my administration, bombs are falling from the sky again and Iran is on the rise again. I hope to rejoin the Iran deal, to follow up on all that money President Obama wisely sent the mullahs. C’mon man, when the Iranian leaders say “death to America” they don’t really mean it. That takeover of our embassy, and all those hostages, that was a long time ago.
I was against Trump’s hit on Soleimani, and I assure you that on my watch nothing like that will ever happen. My focus will be on domestic terrorists. If you support Trump, you are a domestic terrorist and my administration will be coming after you. If you don’t like it, you are full of shit, just like that arrogant Michigan autoworker I put in his place.
My fellow Americans, I also want to deal with this conspiracy theory that I am a puppet of the far left and just a placeholder for President Harris. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It’s also a lie that I have any physical or mental difficulties. So guess what, I am in the best shape of my life, with no impairment whatsoever. Right now I’m just feeling a little bit tired, so here’s the deal.
I must remain in office to fulfill my campaign promise to raise your taxes. That promise is what got me elected, and in tough economic times, keeping taxes high is very important. I mean, do I look like a radical socialist? C’mon man, as I once told some American troops, clap for that, you stupid bastards.
Keep on choosing truth over facts. As Dr. Fauci says, remember to wear two masks, not just one. God bless America and good night.
Biden forgot to congratulate himself for destroying American energy independence. All who freeze in the dark thank him.
Literally the best State of the Union address I have ever heard. President Biden outdid himself today.
Delicious satire, but too true for comfort.
Darn, so happy this is satire. Had to check this one out, could not put this past biden. This is how bad it is folks.
The first speech given by a President to Congress in his first year, not that Biden is the President (and no speech has been made, this should be marked satire in the title), is technically not a State of the Union, presumably cause dude hasn’t been President long enough to comment on the state of the union.
Trump went after Pedophiles and I stopped that.
Trump secured our southern border, I stopped that
Ping.
Chairman Jao, Kamala, Fauzi, gates, Soros, Zuckerberg, Dorsey, Bezos, Pelosi, Whitmer, etc., etc. should be fried...er fired.
Just bloviations from the Biden bunker...
2020 Democratic frontrunner, Joe Biden, answering a debate question about his record on race. This is an actual quote...
Biden: Social workers help parents deal with how to raise their children. It’s not that they don’t want to help, they don’t know what to play the radio, make sure the television — excuse me, make sure you have the record player on at night, the — make sure that kids hear words, a kid coming from a very poor school — a very poor background will hear 4 million words fewer spoken by the time we get there.
Moderator: Thank you, Mr. Vice President
—Zack Beauchamp, vox com, Sept 12, 2019
________________________
Then Democratic nominee for president Joe Biden at a campaign event in Tampa, Fla. on Tuesday [Sept 15, 2020]:
“Cause if you could take care, if you were a quartermaster, you can sure in hell take care runnin’ a, you know, a department store, uh, thing, you know, where, in the second floor of the ladies department or whatever,... you know what I mean?”
—Ian Schwartz, Real Clear Politics, Sept 15, 2020
-PJ
Brought to you by both parties.
The Big Steal was bipartisan.
The Democrats could not have put Basement Biden in without the assistance of the Republicans.
Meh, the media is calling it a “State of the Union address” (even though its not) to make Biden appear more “presidential” at the moment. Saying he just gave a speech before a joint session of Congress doesn’t have the same gravitas to it, lots of non-presidents have done that.
I’m reminded how Rosa Parks was “laying in state” (as all the media outlets duly reported in awe back in 2006), until she wasn’t, and suddenly Darth Bader Ginsburg was the “first example” of a woman having the honor of “laying in state”.
THE JOE BIDEN SOTU ADDRESS:
Biden: 4 and 20 years ago when our 4 fathers came to this land, I noticed America was a great place. We had TV and the... the thingamagig... the whatchmacallit... in place to give prosperity black to the people.
Crowd: Ah!
Biden: And I intend to give even more black to the people. Look folks, we have the greatest fraud agency in the world. The borders are now open to the Chicanos, Latinos, and the Ricky Martins of the world to come in and perform on America’s Got Talent.
Crowd: WOW!
Biden: My wife Jill is an ambassador of LOVE. You know what I’m saying. I just bombed the crap out of Syria the other day. Because we don’t need their war machine, we don’t need their ghetto scenes. She’s an American Woman, you know what I’m saying...
Crowd: UH?
Biden: I have the keys to the nuclear arsenal and if Trump thinks he can take that away... son-of-a-bitch!... I’ll have him fired. He still thinks he’s the president. But I got the nukes, baby.
Crowd: We love you Joe.
Biden: Lets get serious folks. We don’t have to worry about China because I have made a deal. That guy xi zang ping pong... whatchamacallit... is a clown. I’m going to get Kim Ill Jung to go after him with his nukes. We’ll have him surrounded because he gave us the COVID.
Crowd: We love you Joe.
Biden: I know you love me, but wear a mask when eating and having sex. Did you know the Constitution protects you from COVID, according to Dr. Fauci. America is a great place and I’m going to place 20,000 troops in every town to protect you against white supremists. You deserve it folks.
Crowd: We love you Joe.
Biden: And this is my parting gift... my promise.. that if the white people come to your town... I will nuke them.
Crowd: We love you Joe.
Biden: I have just heard a report form my team that they are in Washington... so the nukes are...
Crowd: ARE WHAT JOE!!!!
Biden: Are already in the air.
Crowd: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Biden: Don’t panic... we’ll get those white bastards.
Siren: (BOOP) (BOOP) (BOOP)
...what the hell am I doing up here, you should be giving this here thinga shamaladingdong..."
Our side has done it too, it’s likely out of ignorance or not caring about the technicality.
I believe we talked about the “laying in state” thing, that was another technicality though I don’t recall the deats.
ROFLLLL at your pix in Post 6. Can’t wait to show my husband.
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